Chapter four was inspired after reading over two Japanese novels (I can't make the authors' names out nor the complete title of their work). I didn't understand everything written either; I still have difficulties with a lot of Kanji and other stuff. But the general message got through and I was deeply impressed by it. Hopefully I will be able to add their names here in a short time when my Japanese knowledge expands.
Thanks to Katy for fixing my mistakes ^^. I'm eternally grateful!
Enjoy! ^_^
Chapter 4: Melphina's POVI shudder as I step out of the inn into the cold outside. The snow moving with the breeze against my face and I rub my hands against one another to warm them up before putting them into the comfort of my jacket's pockets. I sneeze as the snow tickles my nose and I decide to make my way back to the store, where my son is probably already waiting for me with the car ready to take me home.
On my way I wonder if I did right leaving the note with my address. I know father choose long ago to not to see his friends and family, which connected him to the wizarding world again and I have always respected the path he took. Yet today, when I stumbled against Ronald Weasley, I couldn't help but feel that I owed them and my father to let them meet. Maybe it was selfish of me to act without considering what my Papa has to say to this, then again Dad used to say that I was blinded sometimes by the steer Potter-stupidity and tended to get into trouble while others thoughts things carefully through.
A few people greet me as I pass them telling me about the strangers who are asking about my father. Assuring them I would take care of them I continue already seeing the tall form of James, smoking as he leans on his car. I sigh; he has that terrible habit from his father. He used to smoke whenever he could sense that I was having a hard day. He did it only to distract me from my thoughts, knowing that I would rather argue about his health and those poisoned fuming things than brood over my problems. I miss him… I miss him as much as I miss my Dad.
It pains me to remember the day Dad and I came home with the twins while Papa was off at Hogwarts working and we found him dead in the backyard. Remaining Death Eaters had attacked him as a reminder that the Dark was still lurking and only waiting to rise again until their powers would become strong enough to revenge their Lord. Dad had pushed me away and send me to my rooms with the twins. I don't know what he did but when Dad came home that night I could sense something terrible within him and I knew that he had sought those murderers out and killed them. I didn't hate him for that. But for a long time I could not come close to him either, afraid of the darkness I sensed in and around him. Papa was the one who helped us get along again. It was a hard time for all of us. James and Lily were barely eight month old and already fatherless and I was breaking with the loss of my husband. But I knew I had to go on, if only for my children's sake. Dad became my anchor in those dark days, he was my support and Papa my councilor, the friend I needed.
And then history repeated itself and the man who had become my emotional support was once again taken from me. And this time there was no one to force me back to my feet and steady me, this time I had to take the role of the strong one… for Papa…
"Hey, Mom!" James throws the cigarette to the ground and steps on it extinguishing it in the snow. "Where were you? I though we had agreed to meet here." He leans his head slightly to the side the way Dad used to do it when he was concentrated brewing a Potion. My children have so little of their father and so much of their grandparents it makes me sad. It shouldn't be that way.
"I had a few things to do."
He quirks an eyebrow up at me. I hate it. Dad did it every time I lied to him. It is terribly unnerving.
James watches me carefully for a few moments before shrugging and opening the car's door for me. "Com'on. Let's go. Lily is probably already angry because I left her to do the chores." He smiles amused and closes the door walking around the car and taking the driver's seat.
"You didn't really leave her the chores, did you?" I ask imitating one of Dad's feared expressions, but they don't work as well on my children as it probably did on his students.
"Grandpa and Sev are there to help her." He answers turning the motor on. "Besides, I had to go back to Humstall to get some papers I had forgotten and I need to grade them over the holidays."
I sigh and say no more. This is one of the few things he resembles his father most. Work first, family second. No wonder he is still not married while his sister is already expecting her second child. But I am proud of him anyway. Not only because he is my son, but also because he had the courage to get into his Granddad's footsteps in becoming Potions teacher at my old Witchcraft and Wizard school.
Unlike my fathers, my children and I did not go to Hogwarts but to a smaller Magical School near Godric's Hollow where Papa's parents used to live and he defeated Voldemort the first time. There aren't as many students there, but it is a lovely and warm place and James loves to teach there as much as Dad did. Probably more than he used to like it at Hogwarts since he didn't have anyone arguing with him all the time and there aren't any House grudges because there is only one class for each year.
James turns the radio on. "Is it true what I heard?"
I sigh mentally, but remain to the outside calm. "It depends on what you mean."
"The old lady from the bakery told me that there were suspicious people wandering around asking for Grandpa…"
There is no use trying to deny it. I know he worries that it might turn into something familiar to his father's death, just for that reason I have to tell him the truth… "They are some old friends of your grandpa… Some old school friends." I don't know how to explain this to him, the situation that caused this break between Papa's past and his present family life. James seems to sense it because he turns the radio louder and continues to drive on not pushing me to explain further.
I lean my head against the cold window feeling the rattling of the car's movements against my face as I close my eyes. I remember the time I consciously thought for the first time about my parents and the differences between me and the other children. I must have been about seven back then.
My earliest impression on Severus Snape was that he had an aura of elegance as well as authority. It somehow made him seem unapproachable. I recall him to appear to be the strong father figure. Compared to him, I remember Harry Potter as the perfect big brother type. Papa has a pleasant voice and an air of familiarity as well as the most charming smile. That is what Dad called it. It always made Papa laugh.
I always wondered why I didn't have a mother like other children but I dismissed that thought quickly every time. One of the most unforgettable things about my parents was the power and warmth by which they took me in their arms and their hands touched me gently and lovingly. Dad picked me up in his arms and held me protectively to him as he said: "Harry, she has the same green eyes as you." And Papa smiled lovingly at us and kissed my cheek whispering that they would always love me. But I always had my doubts, not because I sensed they didn't care, but because of what my mind had been born with. My parent's memories.
I used to be a child who easily lost her temper. But that fury was more fear than anger and it was hard to calm me again. During the final battle with Voldemort, he did something to my parents that caused that I was born with some of their memories. It is awful. I can recall moments of my Papa's life in which he is enclosed in a dark and small room. How people treated him badly and how his friends in school betrayed him. I could sometimes recall Dad's live as a Death Eater, when Voldemort punished him, when he watched other's hurt people, but also when he did it himself. I feared all those memories and that they could happen to me to. For that reason I didn't have patience and I tended to be irritable and exploded easily. Yet Dad and Papa always held me.
I cried a lot when I was a child. And I wondered often if my parents hated me, the way the Dursley's hated Papa, but he or Dad would come to me assure me that they both loved me more than anything.
Papa was the best. I couldn't imagine anyone more gentle and lovingly than him. By the way I called Harry "Papa" and Sev "Dad". It just happened without anyone telling me. I though there was no one who had a better sense of humor than Dad nor be any cooler. Dad would always tell me stories, but once he started he would add here and there something to mark the story with his peculiar sense of humor.
"When I'm all grown up, Dad, I want to marry someone just like you!" I would say.
"Well, then you have very hard task before you. Man like me don't' drop out of the sky just like that." This was one of our special jokes.
I smile at those memories. I certainly was a troublesome kid, more than any of my parents. Although Dad said that there couldn't be a worse nightmare for a teacher than a Potter plus an Invisibility Cloak. Needless to say that when Papa heard that he handed me his cloak with a smile making me promise I wouldn't tell Dad. He found out anyway, I was scared he would scold me, instead he joked that at least it wasn't him anymore who would be driven nuts with it.
Whenever I had trouble at school Dad and Papa would always come together. I was always afraid that if I didn't behave they would reject me. I think this was due to Papa's memories within me. Sometimes I remembered events when his friends left him aside or his family threatened him badly. I didn't want to be sent away. I was mostly afraid that I would be left alone.
But Dad would always smile lovingly at me after scolding my teachers for the inability to handle a child. "Let's go home, Mel." He would say and in those moments, when I ran crying into their protective embrace I wanted to scream to the world. Look! Look here! Look everybody! Aren't they the best?
I felt like a princess between them, I could never get enough of seeing them together. And I thought: one day I want to be with my husband just like this.
I open my eyes seeing that we are about to arrive.
I always found it funny that even though Dad appeared the be the strong authority figure he rather liked to live into the day and say things like: everything will be okay, while Papa was more the organized type and wanted me to plan my future from early on.
We used to be so happy… And we still are, but nowadays things are no longer the same.
James stops the car in front of the house and we quickly make our way inside into the warmth. James helps me take off my jacket and announces loudly that we are back. I hear a happy cry from the kitchen and then small footsteps running our way.
"Grandma!!" my grandson calls me smiling from ear to ear. I pick him up in my arms and give him a kiss as I see my daughter standing in the doorway shaking her head, amused, and greeting her brother who helps her back into the kitchen. She's already in her last month, soon our family will have a new member.
"Grandma! I beat Grandpa Harry in chess!! Really!!" he says as I let him down again.
"Congratulations. And you didn't cheat?"
He shakes his head grinning. "No way!"
"He won fair and square." I look up at my father standing in his wizard's robes in the corridor. "But I won't let you beat me next time, Sev."
The boy squeaks, amused, and runs to his great-grandpa who picks him up and tickles him.
"Papa, you really shouldn't be picking him up. He's too old for that and so are you." I remind him.
He rolls his eyes at me. "Whatever." I watch them both leave into the living room, probably to play something. Father adores Sev. I think it might have to do with the fact that the boy is a copy of my Dad, but I would never say that in front of Papa out loud.
It is amazing how young father still looks at his age; he doesn't appear to be any older than me, but wizards tend to age differently. That is really weird. But most frightening is the resemblance of my grandson with Dad. It is unnerving as well as sometimes disturbing. James has often mentioned it to me.
I go into the kitchen to prepare some snacks, remembering that we will probably have visit later on. I still don't know how to tell Papa. This is going to be one of those embarrassing moment I don't want to live through. Probably as embarrassing as the conversation with Dad about women's 'That time of the month', as he called it.
"Mel, here…" Dad had handed me a shopping bag.
I turned from my book perplexed at his disturbance; normally he never interfered with my studies. "What is that?"
I think this was one of the few times I actually saw his blush. "Your Papa asked me to buy them for you."
And most surely the only time I must have looked like a tomato.
"He made a really great effort. He went and bought all medical books on this subject." Dad had smiled amused. "You really should have seen him. He was really sweet. You might want to go buy a bra with him."
That comment made me blush even harder if that had been possible. "I could have done that myself." I took the bag. "I can't believe you two went and bought this!!"
I could easily believe the efforts they made for me to have the best and never to be at loss for anything. The things a girl normally learns from her mother… the things that a boy would be normally taught by his father…but when there is only one sex in a relationship, then the parents try to compensate the missing link. It was all right. Somehow every child can understand the feelings of their parents.
"Mama." I turn to Lily sitting in her rocking chair; she's working on some piece of embroidery for her new baby. "I was wondering if Grandpa would mind if we called the boy after him."
I smile. "I think your grandfather is going to drown us in tears of joy the moment you ask him."
Her face lightens before she continues to finish her embroidery.
The wizarding world has always been much more open to same sex relation, unlike the muggles. Still it wasn't easy for me to be the daughter of two men, less the daughter of Harry Potter and Severus Snape. Everyone at our school was bound to secrecy about my heritage and they all respected it. But I recall a time when a boy came to me and asked: "Don't you miss a female figure in your family?"
"You should really learn not to ask questions that waste my time! My parents never had the chance to have a normal childhood! They do everything in their power to give me the best they have and make me feel special. Do you think it unfair that while others have mothers I don't? Out there in the real world there are children who aren't even half as lucky as I am to have two parents to love them. I find it an injustice to judge me by your low view on the world. God brought us together and if you cannot see it from this view, than you don't deserve to be called human at all. Maybe you should ask if you can be turned into a low live existence."
The cutting irony I had defiantly from my Dad.
When I was 27, in spring, a great tragedy fell over my family. Dad became very sick. He had an unknown illness, a remaining effect from his war days. When he noticed that he was coming to his ends he asked for Papa to stay with him. Papa took selflessly and lovingly care of him. And Dad found peace in Papa's presence. Papa would sit by his bed singing and talking, all the while their hands joined in one another's. It was like redemption for Dad.
Eventually Dad fell into restful sleep to never again open his dark and beautiful eye to look at us.
I never saw Papa cry more than that fateful day. It was the only time in which he let all his pain unrestrained out of him. I cried with him, I would never forget the soft smiles my Dad gave me when he kissed me goodnight. The jokes we made when it came to Papa… all the wonderful times we had together. And when I recalled all this I wept even more.
Only Papa and I remained living in that house. It may sound wonderful to you, but we had our hard times and differences.
"Why can't you leave me be?" he often snapped at me this question, but I never answered, I know the loss he felt and I had to be strong for all of us.
On his right hand the entwined rings remained. He never took it off; it was a proof to the only real love of his life.
One day I asked him how he and Dad got together and he answered with a sad yet somehow amused smile. "Your Dad said to me: "Potter, you're a selfish little brat who thinks he can get everything he wants by just looking at it." And I answered snapping at him annoyed. "If it where the case I could have you right here and now!" Your Dad raised an eyebrow at me; it unnerved me. "Potter, I'm not a one-night stand." Than he handed me a diary with sliver words engraved on the top. I think I feel in love with him after that. It must have been destiny…" Papa never explained more to this and I knew from Dad that this was a subject Papa was afraid to talk about. He feared his words might undo and take everything he had.
Nowadays, Papa doesn't talk very much. He sits often outside at the veranda or in the winter garden starring off into the sky unless Sev is around to spend time with. Once he said to me: "I seems to me as though I lived almost as long without your father as I have lived with him." The confession made me shudder.
"Grandma, you think Grandpa is happy about my getting a little brother?" Sev asked as he storms into the room.
I turn to my grandson. "Sev, your Grandpa is thrilled with the idea!" I laugh. "Where is he anyway?"
"He went to the winter garden to read." Sev answers as he points towards the glass door of the kitchen that leads to it. And indeed I can see father sitting in his rocking chair, his diary open in his lap.
"Why don't you tell him to come here and eat with us?" I ask, and freeze suddenly at what I see.
Sev runs towards Papa and stands next to him, laying his small hand on his. "Grandpa! Grandpa! Wake up… Grandpa?"
I feel tears well up in my eyes and I reach with my hands to my mouth starring unbelievingly at the image before me.
Coal black eyes look lovingly at me than at my children, then at Sev next to Papa and finally those eyes turn to the person I know they long to see. I see him speak but cannot hear his words. I cry as I see Dad extend his hand and Papa reaching up to him letting his husband pull him up. They look the same way I have seen them in the picture after Papa's graduation. I bite down on my lower lip seeing the image vanish again…
Harry Potter Snape died at the age of 71. He had peacefully fallen asleep.
"Potter, I'm not a one-night stand." I think I feel in love with him after that. It must have been destiny…
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So next chapter will be either Harry or Sirius POV, I haven't decided on that… Maybe Sirius and leave it as epilogue… or Harry… or… argh!! I can't decide!!
*sighs heavily*
Anyway, did you like it? Please review!
Shayla