Smile

Forest Glenny

PG 13 for theme

Disclaimer: No own. No money. No sue.

Notes: In this chapter, it earns its angst classification. I was amused that no one caught that ^^. Thank you to all my lovely reviewers, of course. I dedicate this to you and my friend, the Vampire Scourge, since it's her birthday.

II.

So what was different that day? Was his good morning a little sleepier than usual? If it was I simply attributed the difference to how late we had stayed up the night before, watching some movie. He offered to make breakfast and I smiled and don't remember if he replied.

And then we were both somehow late for work and had time only for a slight brush of pallid just washed lips before we were running in opposite directions, our so-long grins aimed away from each other.

We didn't meet for luncheon, breaking years' worth of tradition in one swift minute. He'd said he had a lunch meeting. I ate lonely in front of dear old Florean's and he noticed with an ice cream and a warm smile.

I trudged back to the office and saw Them on my way to the Ministry. They smiled and waved and I stopped to chat. Maybe they could come to dinner? It had been awhile, after all. Sure. And we'll invite Wormtail, too. A parting, see-ya-later smile.

I walk inside and go through the motions but my heart isn't in it. I limp home, maimed by exhaustion, and when he lures me nearer with the welcome home grin maybe this time it's a bit more desperate, a bit more I know what's going to happen and I never want it to occur. It shouldn't come to pass because I'll never see you smile again.

We never do eat dinner because suddenly Dumbledore is here and he says They're gone. Voldemort found them and I am stunned. I can't breathe can't move can't think. Is this what my life will now be like? I couldn't even remember my name all I saw was Their faces. Who was the secret keeper? Oh why can't my addled grief stricken moon confused brain recall?

He turns to me in his star light dark night splendor. His smile is so sad and comforting and I fold myself into his arms and begin to cry.

And then he kisses me deep and passionate and I don't want him to leave because it feels like goodbye for some strange reason. Smile good-bye I'll be back. I collapse on the floor. Now everyone is gone.

Later, at the trials, I am dressed in deepest mourning when he is dragged in in chains. And though we lovers are now enemies! must hate him, his eyes find mine, piercingly across the crowded room, and he gives me a hard, cold smile.

Fin

8 May 03

Please review? It feeds my little Remus muse. The next chapter will be a bit happier.