Lina's still holding my hand . . .
Gourry felt Lina's hand clasped within his own, as Sylphiel approached. It was an innocent enough touch, in contrast to the definitely un-innocent ways they had been touching each other only moments before. Gourry's heart had finally stopped beating wildly and the trembling had passed, but the slightly sick feeling in the pit of his stomach remained, along with a distracted feeling, almost as if everything had been part of his imagination, or maybe a dream. Had he really held Lina in his arms?
Lina's still holding my hand . . .
The light source Sylphiel carried cast her face into shadows. Gourry heard Lina cluck her tongue next to him.
"A lantern?" Lina sounded incredulous. "Why on earth would you want to cart one of those around?"
"They do have their uses at certain times," Sylphiel replied. "But this time, I thought it might be best to have a non-magical light source to fall back upon, just in case . . ." Her gaze came to rest on Gourry.
Gourry wondered if Sylphiel bringing along a lantern had something to do with him. He thought about asking, but Lina started talking before he got the chance. "So what brings you out here this late anyway?"
"Well," Sylphiel paused, her eyes flicking to their joined hands. "You were both gone so long, I started to get worried. Gourry only just woke up this evening, you know. I wasn't sure if he was all right."
Lina flinched, but she didn't let go of his hand, "We were just starting back." She took a breath as if to continue, but then she apparently changed her mind and remained silent.
Gourry wondered how the moment had gotten so awkward. Lina wasn't exactly showing it, but he could tell that she was close to fidgeting. She held on to his hand almost defiantly, although he wasn't exactly sure who she was defying. Sylphiel kept looking at their hands, then her gaze would shift to the armor slung over Gourry's shoulder, then to her feet, and then back to their hands. Gourry thought that the circular path her eyes took would make him dizzy, and he felt the back of his head begin to throb again. Funny that he hadn't noticed the pain earlier.
Before the silence could stretch out any further, Gourry tugged gently on Lina's hand. "Let's go, already." Walking had to be better than just standing there. At least they would be moving.
Unfortunately, walking was not in fact, better. Sylphiel took the lead through the ruins of Old Sairaag, although both Gourry and Lina knew the way. Lina stubbornly continued to hold his hand, but he felt none of the sense of connection he had felt earlier. Instead, it felt sweaty and uncomfortable, but when he tried to pull away, her grip tightened. A couple of times, he caught Sylphiel twitching her head as if she was going to look back at them, but she stopped herself each time. Nobody spoke, and after a while, Gourry stopped trying to think of something, anything, to say that would break the tension. His head began to throb in time with his steps, and he heaved a heart-felt sigh of relief when Sylphiel's small cottage came into view.
Sylphiel opened the door for them, set her lantern on the table, and proceeded to light the other lamps in the room. Gourry was feeling so awful at that point that he almost thought about just dropping his armor and sword, but even in his current condition, in-grained habits and rituals took over. With a grunt, he neatly stacked his equipment in a corner. Once that was taken care of, he collapsed onto the one couch in the room, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.
"Gourry?" Lina came over to him and gently pushed his hair out of his face. Her voice was low with concern, and Gourry briefly opened his eyes to smile at her.
Sylphiel came over to them and placed a cool and professional hand on his forehead. "Can you look at me, Gourry?" There was something different in her voice that startled him, and he opened his eyes in shock. Sylphiel was leaning over him, peering into his eyes. She seemed worried by what she saw. "Do you feel sick to your stomach or dizzy?"
"No, not really," Gourry answered, "just tired. The back of my head hurts a bit is all." Something was definitely different about her, but he couldn't quite figure it out.
Sylphiel nodded at his answer. "Try to stay awake a little longer," she directed. Then she turned to Lina, "Miss Lina, please make sure he doesn't fall asleep."
Lina nodded, and sat down next to him. She looked intently at his face, as if she could keep him awake through the strength of her will alone. Sylphiel went over to her stove and started boiling water. As Gourry watched her pull several small jars out of a cupboard, he felt his eyes drift shut. Lina elbowed him sharply in the ribs. "Hey, stay awake, Gourry!"
"I am awake," he grumbled.
"Then keep your eyes open," she admonished as she tapped him on the nose. She was trying to sound normal, but he could tell she was worried by the shrill note in her voice. "Are you almost done over there, Sylphiel?"
"Yes." Sylphiel poured hot water into a mug and then carried it over to them. "Drink this, Gourry. It will taste bitter, but you must drink the whole thing."
Gourry took the mug and felt the warmth seep through into his hands. He cautiously sipped. It was not too hot, but Sylphiel was right, it was very bitter, and he forced himself to drink it quickly. When Gourry handed the mug back to Sylphiel, he noticed that she was looking in his eyes again.
"Well?" Lina asked.
"I think we can let him sleep now," Sylphiel answered with a smile. "Help me get him into bed, Miss Lina."
"C'mon, Gourry," Lina tugged on his arm, "let's get you to bed."
Gourry helped the two women to pull him up, but he had a hard time standing straight. "Wha'd'ya give me?" He was mildly surprised at how slurred his speech sounded. He didn't even sound like that when he was drunk.
"Don't worry about that right now," Sylphiel answered, moving to support him on one side, while Lina stood on his other side.
Sylphiel and Lina helped him stagger across the room to the small bedroom. About halfway there, Gourry finally realized what was different about Sylphiel. She was calling him just "Gourry," instead of what she usually called him. He tried to ask her about it, but every time he tried, either Lina or Sylphiel would shush him. Once the girls got him to the bed, he collapsed into it.
"Geez, maybe we should've just levitated him over." Lina was slightly out of breath, and sounded quite exasperated. He could feel her taking off his boots, but everything seemed remote and far away. "Will he really be all right?" he thought he heard her say, but he never heard the answer.
The next thing Gourry knew, it was daylight, and he could hear birds singing. He sat up cautiously, but he felt surprisingly well. His stomach was staying where it belonged, and even more importantly, the walls and floor were staying where they belonged. As Gourry stared out the small window in the room, he tried to figure out where he was. Then he tried to figure out where Lina was. He was obviously alone in this room, but he saw Lina's pack next to his, so he knew she had to be close. Gourry went over to the door, quietly opened it, and saw Lina and Sylphiel sleeping on the floor. That reminded him that they had made it to Sairaag. Without thinking, Gourry brought his hand up to the back of his head. There was no pain, but his hair was still matted, so he probably had been injured like he seemed to remember.
After Gourry took care of his morning business, he sat on the edge of the bed to put his boots on. In the midst of pulling up the second boot, he paused as the events of the previous day hit him. Had he really held Lina in his arms? Had he really kissed her? Maybe he had just dreamt it. But if it was a dream, why was it so clear? Gourry closed his eyes and remembered the feel of her thighs clasping his legs as she pushed herself close to him, the scent of her arousal undeniable, and he felt himself responding to the memory. Gourry shifted uncomfortably and wished his pants didn't fit quite so tightly. He wanted it to be real . . . and he was almost sure it was real . . . but at the same time he couldn't quite bring himself to believe that Lina would act the way she had. She always went ballistic every time someone touched her. He wished there were some way he could be sure, one way or the other.
Gourry went out into the main room, careful not to wake Lina or Sylphiel. Of course, Lina could sleep through anything, but he seemed to recall that Sylphiel was a light sleeper. Lina had thrashed around in her sleep and thrown off her blanket, like she usually did. Sylphiel, in contrast, slept neatly and was curled up on her side. Gourry went to cover Lina, but when he pushed her hair off of her face, he noticed a faint red mark under her ear. He sat down on the empty couch. There was only one thing that could have caused that mark, and that meant . . . it meant that he didn't dream it. Lina and he had . . . Gourry felt himself start to grin. He was really glad Lina wasn't awake to see him like this. He wasn't sure why, but for some reason, he thought it might make her mad.
As Gourry sat watching Lina sleep, his gaze shifted to Sylphiel. He couldn't imagine two women who were more unalike than these two. Sylphiel practiced white magic. She was calm and caring, the type of person who would never want to hurt another. She was so different from Lina. Sylphiel seemed to live in the shadows. Lina had to be the center of attention. Even the way the looked was opposite. Sylphiel was tall and dark, and built like a woman. Lina was short and scrawny in comparison.
Gourry wondered what would have happened if he had stayed longer with Sylphiel and her father. No, he knew what would have happened. Eventually, Eruk would have spoken to him, and he'd probably be married and a father already. Gourry tried, as he had the first time he had stayed with Sylphiel and Eruk, to picture himself in the official robes a leader of the city wore, and ended up snorting. He couldn't imagine being a "respectable" leader of any community, and he shuddered at the thought of trying to keep up with shifting political alliances and intrigue. It wasn't that he didn't like Sylphiel. He did, although it was not love. It was the lifestyle she represented, so similar to the life he had abandoned by taking the Sword that belonged by right to his brother.
Leaving with the Sword of Light had been Gourry's solution to the politics of inheritance that was on the edge of violence. But, as much as Gourry missed his family, he did not miss the life at court, where events had always been just beyond his understanding. The life he had chosen suited him so much better. As Lina's protector, he had a ready source of excitement and adventure, and Lina could take care of all the minor details that he found so boring. But more than that, he was happy with Lina in a way that he hadn't been before, even though as a mercenary he didn't have to think, just follow the orders of whoever was paying him.
Gourry's stomach growled insistently, and he got up to rummage around Sylphiel's kitchen. He noticed the wood box was close to empty, so he brought in more fuel for the stove. As he stacked up wood to carry back inside, he realized that for the first time in days, he didn't have that underlying sense of needing to return to Sairaag. He wondered if everything else would go back to normal, too. He hoped that Lina's nightmares would stop, and she would lose that haunted look she had been trying to hide from him. They could go back to hunting for magical items Lina was always so interested in finding and to taking on odd jobs that got them into trouble more often than not. No wonder Lina preferred shaking down bandits. It certainly made more money than all those jobs that they ended up not getting paid for.
After carrying in an armful of wood, Gourry began to coax the banked coals in Sylphiel's stove back to life. Having a stove to cook on was a luxury that didn't come often. Usually he and Lina prepared their food over an open campfire, which pretty much limited their menu to "food on a stick". While the stove heated, Gourry raided Sylphiel's larder looking for some eggs. He hadn't had fried eggs since they left that inn so many weeks ago. When he found the eggs, he noticed they were by a round of yellow cheese, and he decided to expand upon his fried egg idea. He pulled out the eggs and cheese, as well as some vegetables and a shank of ham.
Gourry picked up Sylphiel's chopping knife, and out of habit, tested the edge. He frowned to himself, and put the knife down. After rooting through Sylphiel's kitchen for a few moments without luck, he went to his pack to get his own whetstone. Gourry wondered how Sylphiel could cut anything with knives this dull. Once the knife was sharpened to his satisfaction, Gourry set to work chopping, his mouth watering in anticipation.
"I never realized how talented you were in a kitchen."
At the soft words, Gourry turned to see Sylphiel standing in the doorway.
"I didn't wake you, did I?" Gourry asked.
"No, I usually wake about this time," Sylphiel replied, as her eyes widened at the piles of food Gourry had taken from her larder. "You've certainly been busy. How do you feel?"
Gourry grimaced. "Hungry. Do you mind?" He gestured to the cutting board.
Sylphiel laughed quietly. "Well, that sounds normal for you. Go ahead," she smiled and sat down at the table, "as long as you make some for me, too."
Gourry turned back to the stove and placed a greased griddle on its surface to heat. "I'd better make enough for Lina, too. She'll probably wake up as soon as she smells food."
"I heard that, Gourry," Lina called sharply from the other room.
"See?" Gourry smiled at Sylphiel and then started cracking eggs onto the griddle.
Lina wandered in to the kitchen, her hair all tousled and wild. "Smells good." She came and peered around his elbow, laying her hand on his upper arm while she sniffed appreciatively. Gourry glanced down at her, and something flickered in her eyes, though it was gone too quickly for him to identify it. She smiled at him, and then went over to Sylphiel. Gourry concentrated on the eggs, adding some of the vegetables and meat. He heard Lina say something to Sylphiel, and Sylphiel respond, but they spoke too quietly for him to hear.
"Hey, no fair whispering behind my back while I'm cooking!" Gourry protested indignantly.
"What's 'fair' have to do with anything?" Lina demanded with a toss of her head. "Where do you keep your dishes, Sylphiel? It smells like Gourry will be done soon."
While Gourry finished cooking breakfast, Lina set the table and Sylphiel prepared some tea. The small kitchen was filled with the bustle of companionable activity. When they sat down to eat, Lina and Gourry began to fight over each other's food, while Sylphiel did her best to stay out of their way, ducking a couple of times when food went flying in her direction. After breakfast, Sylphiel went to the market to restock.
"Really, Miss Lina, it's not necessary," she protested when Lina pressed a handful of coins into her hand.
"I know, but Gourry and I really did eat a lot," Lina replied cheerfully. "The least we can do is pay for it!"
Gourry and Lina started cleaning up the kitchen while Sylphiel did the groceries. As Lina passed him dishes to dry, Gourry suddenly started grinning.
"What's got you so happy?" Lina asked, handing him another clean dish.
"This," Gourry gestured around them. "It's fun to play house every once in a while, doncha think?"
"I suppose," Lina said slowly, chewing on her lip.
"I wouldn't want to do it every day, though." Gourry felt Lina relax next to him when he said that.
Lina washed the last of the dishes, and then she yawned hugely, stretching her arms to the ceiling. "Man, am I beat!" She went over to the now-clean table and sank into a chair with a sigh.
Gourry also sank gratefully into a chair. "We didn't really have to clean up, you know."
Lina looked at him with a very odd expression on her face. "Of course we had to clean up! It's not like this is an inn or anything!"
"Well, I didn't mean not to help, just that we didn't have to sweep and mop, or scrub the stove and empty out the ashes . . ." The energy Lina threw into making Sylphiel's little kitchen immaculate had surprised him. Lina couldn't be described as tidy under normal circumstances. It seemed like Amelia was always complaining about Lina tossing her stuff all over the inn rooms they usually shared.
Lina blushed. "She's been so kind to us, even though it's really hard for her to see us together . . . She's saved your life twice in the past few days . . . and she's been a friend to me . . ." Lina trailed off. Then she looked him straight in the eye. "And what else can we offer her in thanks?"
Gourry shifted uncomfortably. Lina had just hit on something that had been bothering him, too: what to do about Sylphiel. No matter what he came up with, though, he couldn't help but feel like it would just make things worse. Then one of Lina's phrases sunk in, and he found himself grinning again.
Lina glared at him. "Gourry, this is serious!" She slammed her hand down on the table for emphasis.
"It must be," Gourry said calmly, still grinning, "you just said that we were together."
Gourry watched the color drain out of Lina's face. "I didn't . . . I mean . . . I just . . ."
As Lina continued to stammer, Gourry felt cold in the pit of his stomach. Had he imagined last night after all? He reached across to push her hair out of her face. Lina didn't brush his hand away, but at the same time, a series of emotions flicked across her face almost faster than he could register them. Panic, relief, fear, surprise, happiness? They were all a jumble.
Gourry pulled his hand away. "All right, Lina. What's wrong?"
"Nothing! Everything!" she burst out. "Everything's happening so fast, but not fast enough. I want things to change, but I want them to stay the same. " Lina broke off, and she must have caught the look of confusion on his face because she took a deep breath and started again. "Last night was wonderful, but at the same time, I wish it had never happened."
"Why?" The cold feeling was definitely spreading.
"Because . . . " Lina blushed, "because I'm afraid." She thrust her chin out defiantly. "I'm afraid of what I want, because I don't think I'm ready, and I'm afraid that we've ruined things."
Gourry tried to sort out what she was saying, but no matter how he looked at it, he couldn't figure out what was bothering her.
"Don't strain your brain, Jellyfish," Lina commented acidly after the silence had stretched out.
Gourry winced at her tone, and said abruptly, "Okay, then why don't you explain it to me. What do you want that you're afraid of but not ready for?"
If anything, Lina blushed even more, and started muttering under her breath. Gourry caught something about birds and peas, but he couldn't be sure. He folded his arms across his chest while waiting for her to continue. "Okay," she finally said, "do you remember what I said last night?"
"Lina, you said a lot of things last night. We both did."
She grimaced. "The thing I said right before Sylphiel showed up," Lina spat out from between clenched teeth.
"Yes." Gourry looked her straight in the eye. He wondered why she was having so much trouble with this. Lina could stare down Dark Lords and even death, but couldn't face her own emotions.
Some of the tension went out of her body. She couldn't hold his gaze and she looked away to stare out the kitchen window. "That's what I'm afraid of. It's still true; I still would. But whenever I think of other people knowing about you and me, I just freeze up and I don't know how to act."
Gourry stared at her, not quite sure if he wanted to laugh or bang his head into the table. "Lina. Okay, let's see if I've got this straight. You're worried about what other people might think of us being together?"
Lina nodded.
"Don't you think it's a little late for that?"
Her eyes widened and her face drained of color. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Gourry stared back at her. "It's just that we've been traveling together now, just the two of us, for how long? I'm a guy, you're a girl, and we usually don't have Zel or Amelia around to chaperone us. People are going to think whatever they want. Last night doesn't change that."
"But," Lina was sputtering with indignation, "we never did anything . . ."
Gourry interrupted. "Doesn't matter, most people think we're together."
Lina's eyes narrowed. "Who exactly are 'most people'?"
Gourry started with old mercenary buddies they had run into, ticking off on his fingers, "Leon, Grize, that Fox guy, Zel's asked me a couple of different times . . . "
"Okay, okay," Lina cut him off. "Point taken."
"I'm glad that's cleared up, then. So what have we 'ruined'?"
Lina glanced at him in surprise, opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again. She cocked her head, considering, and the tension drained out of her. Then she laughed, sounding more relaxed than she had in a long time. "Nothing. Forget I said anything about it." She got up and started to put the last of the clean dishes away.
"So, Gourry, did you find what you needed here in Sairaag?" She asked in the companionable silence.
Gourry watched as she stretched to put a dish up on a high shelf. The sun glinted in her hair and outlined her body as she strained to reach the shelf. Lina finally snorted in disgust and cast levitation, depositing the dish in its place. "Yeah," Gourry replied with a smile, "yeah, I did."
Lina leaned against the sink. "You know what you want to do next?"
Gourry shrugged. "Whatever."
"Well, Sylphiel asked us to stay until they replant Flagoon, and I already said we would. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see something like that, and since you're the heir to the original Swordsman of Light, Sylphiel thought it would be good for you to be there. Then we can . . ."
Gourry watched as Lina laid out her plans, not really listening to what she was saying, just happy to see her acting like she normally did, for the first time in a very long time.
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Author's Notes: Thanks to Stara Maijka and Unholydragoon for Beta Reading and offering suggestions on this chapter. Thanks also to everyone who's read this and offered feedback and encouragement. This story was my first attempt to write fiction, and I'm rather pleased with how it turned out. Now, on to the Epilogue!