Title: Bring me to Life 2/?
Disclaimer: everything from the previous chapter still stands
Author's Notes: Thanks to you guys that have reviewed, I really appreciate it as I'm a total feedback whore and I don't care who knows it *grin* but anyway, hope y'all like this chapter too!
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Leora came awake slowly, opening her eyes and then stretching, when she realized she had a large light shining over her head, one of those that the hospital had seemed so keen on, she sat straight up, clutching the thin white sheet to her naked chest. She realized simultaneously that not only was the sheet incredibly thin, but that she was completely nude, not just topless. The room was large, like an operating room with standard, tripod lights placed strategically around the table on which she lay, medical equipment was throughout the room and she knew she wasn't alone. Breathing deep she cleared her throat loudly, "Hello?" She called, trying to calm her beating heart, reminding herself both where she was and that she had asked for this help. She wasn't attached to any machines, but she had a feeling she had been.
"You gave us quite a scare for a minute there," Doctor Grey answered amiably, rounding the corner behind her. Leora craned her neck over her shoulder, arching an eyebrow and tossing her hair out of her face. The woman had a clipboard with her, she was going over notes.
"Well, I'm so sorry to worry you," Leora answered sarcastically. This woman annoyed her, though she couldn't figure out why.
"How do you know Logan?" Doctor Grey changed the subject completely, placing the clipboard on a rolling cart next to the table that Leora had missed. She was holding the sheet to her breasts by crossing her arms over her chest and drawing her knees up, she realized her back was completely bare to the room but she couldn't bring herself to care.
"Why do you care?" Leora challenged, arching an eyebrow.
"She raises a good point, Jean," Scott walked out from the same direction and Leora rolled her eyes, this sounded like an old argument, the man in question putting just a little to much emphasis on his girlfriend's name. If Leora closed her eyes, the mental image she had of Scott would be just now tinged with green. He was jealous of Logan. Logan…
"Not now, Scott." Doctor Grey looked at Leora, gesturing to her back, "Those are some nasty scars on your shoulder blades, do you remember what happened? They aren't that old."
"They happened the night of the rape," Leora answered, shrugging and leaving it at that. She didn't want to remember any more than what she already did.
"I'm sorry-"
"Don't be. It happened, it's over. Where are my clothes? Because I'm not walking back to my rooms with just a sheet." Doctor Grey looked like she wanted to pursue the subject but thought better of it, choosing instead to reach down on the cart and pick up a folded terry cloth robe and a bra and panty set.
"I didn't want to go through your bags, these were on top and I assumed you'd be more comfortable in your own clothes." Leora arched an eyebrow, glancing from first Scott to Jean and then back again. Noting that he was watching the scene with the interest of a college boy in a girl's locker room, Leora promptly dropped the sheet, baring her breasts and reaching for the proffered items. Jean stepped back, surprised, Leora wondered if she had problems with easy displays of nudity. Really wouldn't do for a doctor, now would it? She put on the bra, shoving the sheet aside and throwing her legs over the table, she slid the panties up her calves, putting on just the tiniest bit more show than was necessary. Standing up she felt the cool tile under feet and belted the robe loosely on her body. It scooped, showing the bra and a good line of flesh to her belly button, but she really didn't' care.
"Can I go now? And why was I naked?"
"You were unconscious, you simply passed out, we thought… I thought," the Doctor corrected herself, "that it would be better to do a complete exam. It seems you were simply shocked. I'm sorry if it disturbs you." Leora glared darkly.
"Yeah well, forgive me if I seem to get upset about waking up in strange places without my clothes, it makes me go all jumpy like." Scott was instantly contrite.
"We're so sorry, we didn't even think… about that… but honestly, it was just to make sure there wasn't anything seriously wrong. Do you want me to show you to your rooms so you can be alone?" Jean glared at Scott, Leora arched an eyebrow. He was like a puppy dog. She knew he wasn't attracted to her, well sexually sure, but not emotionally. He was hopelessly devoted to this woman, but right now he was trying to make her jealous. That and he really was contrite. Leora had a feeling he was one of those men with a perpetual child in his eyes.
"That'd be nice." She answered finally, allowing him to take her hand and guide her out of the room, completely ignoring a surprised Jean Grey. Leora waited until they got to the long hallway before commenting. "The next time you want to use me to get back at her, I suggest you let me know ahead of time, I can prepare better."
"Sorry about that, she just makes me so MAD sometimes." Leora snorted.
"I hadn't noticed. So what's your deal, Scotty?" He glared.
"Scott. And no deal. I just don't like how she baby's Logan." Leora resisted the urge to ask about him. She knew she had to tread carefully, none of these people knew her.
"She baby's Logan…?"
"Yeah, like he can't handle himself, I mean… he's only been on his own for God knows how long? And it's not like he can't take care of himself." Leora snorted again, a very unladylike gesture, but she didn't care.
"I'm sure he can. But why care? Think she's gonna cheat on you?" Scott shrugged.
"Nah, I know she won't. I trust her. It's HIM I don't trust." He finished, they'd reached a door, Scott hit a code in a key pad and it slid back, revealing a long wooden hallway, it was the hall that led to her rooms. He kept walking, escorting her completely to her door before stepping back. "If you want I can ask the professor for different rooms for you," he glared at the closed doors across the hall, "if it makes you uncomfortable that is." Leora shook her head.
"This is fine, it's not a big deal, I just wasn't expecting to see him again is all." Scott looked intrigued.
"You never did tell Jean how you knew him." Leora smirked.
"I hadn't planned on it. Good night, Scott." She gently tugged the door away from his hand, pulling the knob and closing it quietly. She felt him leave, knew he'd take her words at face value and not push, she had a feeling he was the only one of any of them who would be willing to leave it at that, and then turned to go to her suitcases. She walked through the day room doors, into the large bedroom. The bed was huge, four postered and draped, heavy feather comforter and lots of fluffy pillows, it was practically a shrine. She shivered, it was a bed begging for more than one person.
Leora forced herself to reach the suitcases, reaching into the one that had already been opened and retrieving a pair of pajamas, a long sleeved shirt and a pair of pants. Stripping out of the robe she let it fall to the floor, reaching behind her back to the bra clasp. "You've changed," She gasped, turning abruptly to see the man sitting in the wingback chair, his boots up on the ottoman, his hands clasped on his chest like he had every right to be in this room. She let her arms fall and she knew the bra fell with them. His eyes seemed to flair at the baring of her breasts and she tossed her hair back again. Logan set his feet on the floor, rising abruptly and stalking over to her. She stared up at him, expecting to feel something, fear maybe. But she couldn't conjure up anything. Nothing.
"So have you," she murmured softly. "It's the hair, mostly. And you've gotten rid of the dog tags," she said gently, reaching up to his collar bone, smooth, with no familiar toilet chain and small, metal squares. "Why are you here, Logan?"
His breath hissed out through his lips as her fingers gently traced the line of his collar bone, he was wearing a wife beater, there were plenty of muscles that were completely bare in his arms that she could reach without getting impeded by the material of the tank top. His hands settled on her waist and she jumped slightly, his body was hotter than she remembered, his heat seemed to burn through her. "You mean here… in this room?" She shrugged.
"I mean here. The Logan I remember didn't want help for anything." She lifted a shoulder sardonically, "At least not from me," Leora managed to finish quietly. He winced.
"There's a lot that's changed since then, Leora." She shivered at the sound of her name on his tongue. He had always had this effect on her, he was the only person she could never read. His voice rumbled in his chest, she resisted the urge to settle her hands on it, to feel the vibrations, rest her cheek on it, to listen to his heartbeat. All that was over and done with anyway.
"You're right," she answered softly, turning away abruptly. She crossed her arms over her chest, walking back to the suitcase and reaching instead for a simple tee shirt. Those were more comfortable anyway. She pulled it over her head, but he'd gotten a nice view of her body as she'd walked away, his eyes raking over everything, when he reached the shoulders he forced himself to look away, memories flooded back to him that he'd rather forget. She let the shirt drop and the material gathered around her hips, she straightened it without thinking, finger combing her hair before turning back around. The shirt was a deep purple, complementing her hair and smooth, light skin to perfection, he wondered if she either realized it or cared.
"What happened, Leora?" He asked softly, silently musing to himself whether or not it was a question for her or for himself.
"To us?" she shrugged, still not looking at him, "You got scared, I got scared, we both ran away. What do you want to hear?" He walked up behind her silently, placing his hands gently on her shoulders. She flinched away from him and he withdrew, remembering and damning himself for it.
"I miss it," he answered softly, remembering the way her body used to give to his. To be pliant and gentle, or even hard and insatiable. She bit her lower lip, her hands fisting at her sides, trying to stay calm and to her resolve. She wouldn't let herself get sucked into his eyes again.
"Me too," she answered finally. It'd been so long since she had allowed herself to think about him that seeing him again this afternoon had been too much. The shock to her system was just too great, she blanked out completely. Leora sighed, realizing she was close to tears for no apparent reason. "I can't do this, Logan."
"Do what?" she turned to face him, he looked perplexed.
"This, with you," she waved a hand between their two bodies. "I'm here for me, I have to get help and I'm not going to jeopardize that. Besides, I wasn't kidding when I said things have changed. I'm not that same little girl anymore, Logan. I can't be."
"What are you saying, Leora?" His brow was furrowed. She shrugged.
"I can't let myself be that trusting anymore. I got hurt. I'm not… I just can't feel anything anymore." She finished finally.
"You can't… feel anything," he echoed, obviously not believing it for a second. This was Leora for God sake, the same Leora who cried inconsolably when he'd accidentally hit a cat while driving her car. Usually her problem was she felt too much.
"That's right. After I was raped I couldn't deal with what I was feeling, so I cut myself off and then when I was okay again I couldn't feel at all. I didn't remember how."
"That's bull, Leora. You won't because you won't let yourself. Not can't."
"And where were you, huh?" She felt the same anger at him building in her body and she had to force it back down again. "Where were YOU when all this was going down? I woke up in that hospital bed alone and terrified, when I asked the nurse she said that you'd never visited, that some completely STRANGER had brought me in. What does that say about you, Logan?" He didn't say anything, his jaw clenched tightly. What did that say about him? That she'd been raped and her lover left her? That Summers was right and he was a jackass? Or simply that he really was just an animal? Probably all of the above.
"I can't say anything to that, Leora."
"Just tell me where you were," she felt the tears brimming and then falling down her cheeks. "Why weren't you there? Why didn't you find me after? Why did you JUST LEAVE?!" He winced, what was he supposed to say?
"I can't tell you that, Leora. I'm sorry." She froze.
"I haven't seen you since it happened and all I get is 'I can't tell you'?"
"What do you want? You don't remember who did it, I can't just take care of it. Don't you think I WANT to kill whoever hurt you? Don't you think that it's eating me up that I wasn't there? But you knew how I was when we started, you always knew that I could just pack up one day and not look back. It never bothered you before." He knew he was being purposely callous. He knew she deserved a lot more consideration than he was giving her, but he couldn't do it. Not and still be able to live with himself. He reached for her and she flinched hard, backing herself into a wall.
"Get out," she whispered softly. He furrowed his brow, murmuring her name softly. "Get out, get out, GET OUT!" She refused to let herself break down in front of him. Right now she didn't care that she was being angry and she didn't care that he had his own pain and guilt to deal with. He stepped back abruptly, hurt showing for a brief moment in his eyes before it was masked completely from her. His face became the mask that most people knew, she knew she was one of the few people that knew how he really was, his real moods, facial expressions, hell, even his mannerisms were different around certain people. He turned abruptly, exiting the room without another word.
Leora stayed in the center of the room for a moment, letting it sink in that she had just sent away the only man she'd ever really loved. She tried to conjure up those feelings that she had once felt. She tried to cry, she tried to feel something. But there was… nothing. She sobbed dryly, but other than the few tears she'd shed earlier, with him close by, there wasn't anything. Leora found herself hugging her knees on the hardwood floor, rocking back and forth, sifting through every touch that they'd ever shared. Trying to feel something. Anything.
But he was gone.
And there was… nothing.