Disclaimers: All Fruit Basket characters were created by Takaya Natsuki-sama.

Chapter 1

'Today's the first day of school,' Tohru thought, 'our last year.'

She rolled up her sleeves, "Ok! Ganbatte! Everyday starts with a good breakfast! Yosh!"

.

"Where's Shigure?" Kyou asked, "it's not like him to wake up so early and leave the house."

"I'm not sure. But Shigure-san did say today's a big day," Tohru said thoughtfully.

Yuki remembered the grin on Shigure's face when he said those words.

"He's probably exaggerating or avoiding his editor," Kyou said with a shrug.

.

"That was the most boring meeting ever," Shigure said yawning.

"I second that," Ayame said.

Shigure grinned, "How do you think Yuki and the others will react when they hear about the news?"

"Why don't you tell them now? They're here," Hatori said in a monotone voice.

.

Yuki tensed as he spotted Shigure in a suit, Hatori in his white jacket, and Ayame in this odd puffy outfit. They were all standing outside the door of his school.

"Is something the matter?" Tohru asked, "why are you all here?"

"Ah! Tohru-chan! Long time no see," Ayame said moving towards her.

Yuki and Kyou blocked him and demanded, "Why are you here?!"

"We're your new senseis," Shigure declared with a grin.

"Nani?!"

Yuki's fan club began chanting, "L-O-V-E! Y-U-K-I! Y-U-K-I! Yuki!-"

"I see you got a fan club too," Ayame said resting his hands on Yuki's shoulders, "I'm so proud of you. Of course that is no big surprise. We are related, cut from the same stone. But my fan club was bigger, of course and-"

The girls ran forward, "What is your relation with Yuki-sama?! What do you mean cut from the same stone?!"

"I'm his brother," he said flipping his hair and pulling Yuki close, "do we look alike or what?"

.

"Wow. What do you think the commotion is all about?" Momiji wondered excitedly, pushing to get in.

Hatsuharu went into the crowd and discovered Ayame was the center of attention and telling some outrageous story.

"Wow, he's popular," Shigure said with a smile.

"Oh? Why are you guys all here?" Momiji asked.

"Starting today we are working here," Shigure said, "as your senseis."

"Yippee!!" Momiji shouted.

"Kyou-kun!!!"

Kyou turned pale as Kagura rushed over and hugged him.

"UGH! Why are you here?! Let go of me!"

"No!!" Kagura cried hugging him tighter, "aren't you happy to see me?"

Kyou couldn't answer due to the fact that she was choking him and his face began turning red.

"Why are you here?" Yuki asked, "shouldn't you be in university?"

She smiled, "I need to retake a couple of classes. And I wanted to come here so I can be with my Kyou-kun everyday!"

.

Tohru smiled, 'This is wonderful. I'm so happy. We're all-'

"Ohayou gozaimasu…"

She turned to see Ritsu who dressed in a blouse and skirt, "Ritsu-san."

"Oh, you're here too," Shigure said.

"Hai…kaasan said I should interact with other people so…"

"This is just great," Kyou muttered rubbing his neck after being freed from Kagura's death grip.

"Sumimasen!! Gomen nasai!! I'm sorry to be of a bother! Gomen nasai!!" Ritsu shouted, "I shall go home now and ever come out to see other people again! GOMEN NASAI!! SUMIMASEN!!!"

Shigure grab a hold of his collar, "It's ok."

"Gomen nasai!! Gomen! Gomen!!"

Everyone was staring at them.

"Please calm down," Kagura said, "we're being stared at."

"Gomen nasai, minna-san!! I have drawn unwanted attention! Sumimasen, Kagura-san!! I have embarrassed and disgraced you all!! SUMIMASEN!!" he cried.

"Maa, maa…" Shigure said still holding onto his collar so he can't run off.

Tohru smiled, 'This is going to be an interesting year.'

.

Kisa frowned, "I wonder what's going on over there at Tohru-neechan's school."

Hiro shrugged, "If you want we can go ask them at lunch or after school."

"Lets do that."

.

Momiji was very excited. He couldn't wait until Home Economic class which Aya-kun teaches and literature taught by Shigure. Hatori was the school doctor and Rit-chan was the assistant biology teacher.

Haru-kun looked deep in thought.

"Oi."

No response.

He whispered louder, "Haru-kun."

Haru looked at him, "Yes?"

"What are you thinking about?"

"Whether we have to attend Ayame and Shigure's class or can we just skip it. I don't think they'll fail us."

"But it'll be so interesting."

The teacher yelled, "I thought I told you 2 not to talk in class!!"

Momiji's fan club of girls got in front of him and said, "Don't you dare yell at Momiji-chan."

"Yeah, pick on someone your own size. Bully."

.

"For class I'd like you to read this series of novels."

"Sohma-sensai, we have to read romance novels for literature? And only romance novels?"

"Well, I got other stuff on the list. And call me by my first name. There's too many Sohma's in this class. If you like you can even call me Gure-kun or Gure-niisan."

"Anou…" another student said, "the author of those novels is also call Sohma Shigure…"

"Well, of course. I wrote it."

"…"

.

"Kyou-kun what do you have for lunch? Maybe we could share our lunch boxes. Don't you think it'll be very romantic?" Kagura asked.

"No. I don't want to eat your saliva," he stated.

"What did you say?" Kagura asked dangerously.

"…"

Someone came up and pat him on the back, "Oi, Kyou!"

"Uotani…"

"Oh, who are you? Kyou's friend?" Uotani asked.

"No. I'm his fiancée. My name's Sohma Kagura."

"Fiancée?!"

"I'm not her fiancée!!"

"What?!" Kagura demanded and began her vicious beating on Kyou.

.

"Konnichiwa, my students. What do you all think of my outfit?" Ayame asked modeling his sparkly silver and golden Chinese outfit (like those that Ayame and Yuki usually wears), "it's made by yours truly. I have my own shop. Please feel free to come and check it out."

Ayame began handing out cards.

"By the way, please call me Ayame, Aya-niisan, Aya-kun-"

A student interrupted, "Anou…Ayame-sensei. What will we be doing today?"

Ayame began laughing and pulled out a couple of garbage bags. He pulled out clothes and began throwing it at students, "Sewing buttons!! You will all be sewing buttons today. Sew it onto the 'x' I marked. Please use the buttons I handed out, and-"

"Do you have a syllabus?"

Ayame snapped his fingers, "I do."

He went and grabbed a pile of paper and winced, "Ouch! A paper cut! I got to go see Tori-san!"

"I got a band-aid," Momiji offered.

"No…I must go see Tori-san. What if I get an infection and die?!" he exclaimed shock, "ooooh, I feel weak. Dizzy…"

'He's lying,' Haru thought, 'he looks very…excited…'

"Haru-kun, please help me hand out the papers. Thanks," he said and pranced off.

'Why me?'

.

Ayame got to Hatori's office and found an extremely long line of girls. The girls were talking among themselves.

"He's so hot and cool."

"Sumire said he's very gentle, caring and thorough," another girl cooed.

"I'm so glad we got a new, young doctor."

"What's the commotion?! Why are you all here?!" the assistant principal demanded.

"I got a headache."

"I got a stomach ache."

"I feel dizzy."

"My throat feels scratchy."

"I accidentally tripped."

Dejected Ayame walked back to his class room and saw Haru throwing paper airplanes at people. He seemed different…not half asleep…

"B-Haru-kun!!!"

"Ayame," he said and smirked, "what are you doing here?"

Ayame pulled him aside, "Free labour! Nyahahaha. I applied to be the sex education teacher too but the principal said it wasn't necessary."

B-Haru smirked, "So? This is your classroom, right? What's stopping you from teaching it right now?"

Ayame laughed, "Nothing!"

"Attention class!! Drop your needles! I have decided to change today's plan. I will be teaching you sex ed instead. You guys are old enough to know and should know the dangers and pleasures about sex! Nyahahahaha. My assistant will be Hatsuharu! First we will learn about the human anatomy!" Ayame declared with a hentai grin.

.

Ritsu sighed. He really need to come out for a breather.

"Sohma Ritsu-sensei."

"Uh…hai Principal Yamazaki!"

"Do you know why there's such loud screaming coming down from down the hall?"

"No! Gomen nasai! Sumimasen! I will try to be more knowledgeable! GOMEN NASAI!!" he cried bowing.

THUD!

"Ah!! Principal Yamazaki are you ok?!? I didn't mean to know you out!!" Ritsu cried shaking him like a rag doll, "gomen nasai!! GOMEN!!"

.

Yuki, Tohru, and Kyou went to check out the commotion. It came from the sewing room. Yuki sighed and opened the door.

Ayame and Haru were terrorizing the students, chasing them and shouting stuff like, "Now don't be shy. The human body is a piece of art. If you don't strip we'll help you!"

A girl tripped and…

Poof! Poof!

"…"

The three of them rushed in. The dust cleared and the students looked confused.

"Ah!! Snake!"

Yuki picked it up, "Don't worry. It's just a rubber snake. Probably someone's idea of a prank. Look."

Yuki began violently whacking it around, spinning it, pulling it, "Completely safe. It's nothing but a dead, rubber snake."

"Why is there a cow here?!"

"Um…I brought it…" Tohru said.

"Why?!"

"Uh…so we can have fresh milk?" she suggested.

"…"

"This cow is a male," a student pointed out, "it doesn't have that thing…"

Ayame muttered softly so only Yuki could hear, "Told you we got to teach them sex ed. That thing…tsk, tsk…it's called-"

Yuki began whacking the snake against the desk some more and proceeded to tie it up into a pretzel.

Everyone was sweating now.

"Save the cows! Cows deserve equal rights! Down with hamburgers! No more steak!" Momiji shouted.

His fan club appeared holding signs that read Protect the cows! No more mindless slaughter! and began chanting with him.

"Mooooooo," Haru said.

"Why is Ayame-sensei and Hatsuharu's clothes here?" a student asked.

Yuki and the others were at a lost to explain that.

"Don't worry about them. They probably went streaking ," Shigure said appearing at the door.

"Kyou-kun! There you are!!" Kagura shouted.

Kyou ran but he couldn't outrun Kagura who lunged at him, "Are you avoiding me?!"

"No?"

"I knew you wouldn't do that to me Kyou-kun."

"Why is everyone here?" Hanajima asked and eyed Haru, "This cow…"

"…"

"This cow looks…delicious…"

They stared at her.

"Moooo."

.

Hiro and Kisa told the Jyuunishi at lunch, that they were going to walk home with them. But the other Jyuunishi's were nowhere to be seen.

"Anou…have you seen Sohma-jiisan?" Kisa asked.

The man answered, "Oh, all the Sohma's are in room 2-11."

They thanked him and continued on their way. Hiro and Kisa opened the door to see that all the Sohma's where there. Kagura clinging to Kyou. Shigure and Ayame chatting up a storm. Hatori reading a book and ignoring the ruckus. Yuki doing his homework and helping Tohru with hers. Momiji moving excitedly from desk to desk. Hatsuharu sitting there with his head on the desk looking out of it. And Ritsu tied to a chair, gagged and banging his head against the pile of chalk brushes on the desk.

"Hiro-kun! Kisa-chan! You guys are here too!" Momiji greeted.

"Anou…why is Ritsu-chan tied up like that?" Kisa asked.

"Oh, because Shigure and Ayame got annoyed with his apologizing and attempts to run away, so they gagged and tied him. But Ri-chan kept on hitting his head against the desk to apologize. We didn't want him to hurt himself, so we put the brushes there to protect his head."

"Why are you all here?" Hiro asked.

"Detention," Shigure said.

"All of you?" Hiro asked suspiciously, "for what?"

"Well…Kagura for destruction school property in her chase after Kyou and show of violent behaviour towards Kyou," Shigure began, "Kyou for destroying school property in his attempt to escape and use of profanity."

"Tohru for bring a cow to school. Momiji for starting a riot," Ayame continued, "Ritsu for knocking out the principal, Yuki-kun for playing hooky, not attending to his duty as class president and violent behaviour."

"You left out Haru-niisan," Kisa said.

"Not just Haru," Hatori said looking up from his book, "Haru and Ayame are here for indecent behaviour, to be more specific attempt at stripping other students. Shigure for leaving his post, indecent speech, and having a porn magazine in his reading list."

Hiro smirked, "And they're not fired yet? What are you in here for Hatori?"

"The principal decided to give them one more chance. They're suppose to be reflecting. And I'm here as the supervisor, to watch them and make sure they all behave," he stated with a sigh.

TBC