Title: The Truth is Not Enough

Author: Dana_Maru

Summary: Scully gives a brief account of how she feels now that the X files are gone

Disclaimer: We all write the same, so please just read and enjoy! ;-)

'The Truth' is Not Enough

Chapter One

I'm lying here, on the rickety motel bed, still cuddled up to Mulder. There have been so many things revealed to us, answers to some of the questions we have asked over the past nine years, but the truth we have been told - if it is really the truth - is not enough. I want more, little has been revealed to us. That son-of-a-bitch, Cancer Man has misled us so many times in the past and I am unsure of how to take his news. Should it be disregarded as a lie? I mean he has rarely given us the truth in the past. Or should we actually listen to him this time? According to the little chain-smoking bastard, alien colonization is set to begin in the very near future, and try, as we shall, it cannot be stopped, or so the now apparently deceased Cancer Man has told us.

There has never been a time in my life where I have felt more afraid, except maybe when I was diagnosed with 'incurable' cancer back in '96 but that era of my life is in the past and would be left there if Mulder didn't feel so damn guilty. I am afraid for our friends, John and Monica, as well as Skinner and Kersh, who all helped Mulder escape that hellhole they call prison. And now their lives may be in danger, all because of their loyalty to us and to the X files, but with the files closed down, where does that leave all of them? I am afraid for our own lives too, mines and Mulder's, what if somehow they find us wherever we choose to hide. Kersh's last words to us were that we had to go north of the border, to Canada and catch a plane. He told us that if we weren't outta America in twenty-four hours we would most likely never get out alive. Mulder as usual disregarded his superiors and took us south to meet who he thought was a 'Wise Man' who lived in the Navajo ruins, only to find the one and only (or perhaps another set of clones) C.G.B Spender - smoking out of a hole in his chest. Now that ain't natural, it gave me the creeps!

Now all we can do is hope - hope our friends are safe, hope they don't catch Gibson Praise again (poor little guy has suffered enough at the hands of The Shadow Syndicate). Hope that we escape with our lives and most of all hope that one day our dear baby William can be returned to us.

A tear has escaped and is working it's way down my cheek; Mulder who has kept quiet this whole time looks concerned.

"Scully? You okay?"

I have to laugh, we have known each other, loved each other for nine years (although we never confessed our feelings until last year) yet we still call each other by our surnames.

"Yeah, Mulder, I'm fine."

I don't look fine, I don't feel fine, but I can hopefully spare Mulder's concern for me. I now have tears streaming down my face, and sobs catching in my throat as I speak.

"You don't look okay to me, what's up?"

Nothing, Mulder, can't you ever not be so concerned about me?

"It's nothing really, I'm just thinking about John and Monica, Gibson, and Kersh and Skinner all risking their lives for us. And I can't stop thinking about...William. I miss him so much, Mulder"

God! Now it looks like he wants to cry. I can't help wishing that all of this was just a horrible nightmare that I had never given up my precious son. I had fought so hard against my emotions when I handed him over to the adoption agency but all the tears left un-cried are flowing uncontrollably now.

"Don't feel guilty for doing something you had to, to keep him safe."

But I do feel so guilty, I can't help it.

"Mulder, I can't help feeling guilty. Being told I was barren left me so disappointed and upset, and when I had the child I had so longed for...I gave him away."

Please don't look at me like that. He is looking at me with the gorgeous hazel puppy dog eyes, searching for answers within my own blue ones. I wonder if I have given him any.

"Scully, I miss him a lot too. You and William are all I thought about when I was in the desert. You know you did what was best at the time, and who knows, maybe we can try for another little miracle."

He says this with a mischievous yet scared look in his eyes and I can't help melting. He bends his neck to kiss me, full on the mouth and I savor the taste on his lips. His kisses can be so passionate, but this one was one of those tender 'I never want it to end' kisses. I sure as hell didn't want it to end, either, but it had been a long day and we both really needed some sleep.