Title: The Truth Is Not Enough

Author: Dana_Maru
Summary: So they got married, a few weeks later, Scully speaking - well...oh whatever.

Disclaimer: None of the characters you recognize are mine - so sue me. On second thoughts - don't!

Chapter Fifteen

It has been almost four weeks since Mulder and I got married and I have had very little contact with Monica and the others. The last contact I had with any of them was from Monica; she called last week to tell me she was pregnant. How I wish I was in her shoes, to be able to get the chance to hold a child of my own again, without fearing for his safety. I wonder if my boy is safe. I would feel so much better if I knew how he is doing but I can't, there is no way I can contact his new parents so I will just have to settle with my memories of him. I kept a sleep suit of his, that and the little photo are my only reminders. I have to stop dwelling on a past I am unable to change and look forward to the future. I keep telling myself that but it's way more easily said than done

We are still staying in the same hotel, looking for an apartment but it is not going to be easy since most of the places here are taken already. We are on the waiting list with Yorkhill Housing Department but they said we could wait for up to a year. Maybe by then we will be able to return to our home in America, Monica is living in my apartment so that I don't have to give it up. Hers is bought so she doesn't have to worry.

I'm beginning to grow bored of our present laziness. I need something to do. I always ended up running and now I am just sitting around doing nothing and the lack of excessive exercise is taking its toll on my body; I literally had to fight to get into my size eight trousers this morning. I have been so used to running around after the bad guys and now that I have been out of that routine for the past month, I seem to be putting some weight. The plastic button that was holding the waistband on these trousers has just popped and hit Mulder on the head as he came into the room with our coffee!

"Ow! What the hell was that?!"

"Um...my button."

"And why would you be throwing it at me?"

"I wasn't! It burst off my trousers."

He hands me my coffee and I take a sip, taking in the lovely aroma. Except it doesn't seem so lovely, in fact...I rush into the bathroom to be sick. I wander back into the room and lay on the bed, one hand over my stomach.

"I think I'll pass on the coffee this morning."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, but I think..."

"You think what?"

"Nothing...It's impossible."

"What's not possible?"

"The last time I felt like this was when..."

"Scully spit it out. The last time you felt like this was when?"

"When I...was pregnant with William."

I watch his jaw drop, a look of pure shock on his face, he just stands there for a minute or two with his mouth hanging open. Then his mouth closes and the corners turn up into a smile.

"Don't get your hopes up, Mulder. You know as well as I do that I can't be."

"I know, but what if what you were told was a lie, what if it is possible?"

"Maybe..."

"Come on, get your coat."

"Why? Where are we going?"

We locked the door to the hotel and are walking to the bus stop. Why did we have to hand in that rental car? Buses are so unreliable, its already ten minutes late. I can't help wondering how I will feel if I am, it will be great to hold a baby in my arms again but I don't want to have to worry about his safety from the Super Soldiers. But I can't be pregnant - I just can't be, it's impossible the last I was told. Finally, we are on the bus on the way to the chemist - to buy a test. We got it, and are on another bus back to the hotel.

I am staring down at the flimsy white stick, waiting anxiously for the results. Slowly, the blue line begins to appear and it is my turn for my jaw to drop in shock and disbelief. Then the questions flash into my mind, faster than a highway car chase and my heart is racing.

Will this one be okay? What if this baby is another military experiment?

I don't think I could handle it if I had this baby only to be told that he or she was another part alien child. But I still can't think of getting rid of it, I don't wanna lose another child. It was bad enough when Emily died. She was one of many clones produced from my DNA. I had only known her a few days when she was taken from me but I loved her with all my heart and I had to go through it all again when I gave William up. I know he is alive, but I have still lost him. I wont be there when he gets his first tooth or takes his first steps. I'll never get the chance to see him grow up - all because of my choice of career.

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