Wasted with a Phone
by Rex Rodentium
Mewtwo and Lugia were sitting in the "Pad" as which was short for the "Bacholers' Pad" as Mewtwo had named it. Both had cans of Bud in their hands as they sat watching a football game.
"Dude, I'm bored." Mewtwo told Lugia.
Both Pokemon were drunk.
"Let's give your girlfriend Mew a call." Lugia said.
Mewtwo threw an empty can at Lugia, "She's not my girlfriend you dumb butt."
"Whatever woman!" Lugia said throwing the can at him missing.
"Man! Your drunker than me." he said before gulping down another can of beer, "You was anyway."
"Dude, let's call someone." Lugia suggested
"Yeah!" Mewtwo replied grabbing the phone.
Mewtwo began typing in a random number.
"Hello, 911. What is your emergency?" a woman said on the other end.
"WAAAAASSSSUUUUPPP!!!" Mewtwo began.
"WAAAAASSSSUUUUPPP!!!" Lugia joined in from another telephone.
"You idiots someone could be dying because of you!" the woman yelled.
Meanwhile in another place.
"Sorry. All the lines are busy. Please hold."
"NOOO!!!" a man with thirty bullets in the chest cried out.
"WAAAAASSSSUUUUPPP!!!" they both said again at the same time.
"DAMN YOU!!" the woman yelled and hung up.
"That was fun!" Mewtwo said laughing and taking another slug of beer.
"Yeah. Let's call Meredith T. Tasaki!" Lugia replied snorting.
"Isn't she a fanfiction writer?" Mewtwo asked in his slow slurred speech.
"Yeah? So?"
"She's the author's friend! The author will kill us!" Mewtwo said then added, "Let's do it!"
Mewtwo began to dial into the phone.
"Sorry, you have entered a wrong number. Please hang up and try again." the lady on the phone said.
"Scrooge you too!"
"Sorry, you have entered a wrong number. Please hang up and try again."
"Scrooge you!" Mewtwo yelled once again and hung up.
Lugia grabbed the phone off it's cradle. "I'll do it." he said and began to dial.
Lugia and Mewtwo waited as the phone rang. Finally, someone picked it up.
"All right, who the heck are you and why the heck are you calling during the Buffy marathon?!" the someone yelled.
Lugia changed his voice to sound like an 8th grade girl. "Hi! This is Jenna, Meredith's friend from school. Can I talk to her?"
"Um, she's not here right now, can I take a message?"
Mewtwo began and Lugia soon joined in, "WAASSUUPPP??!!"
"What the?! Who are you?! C'mon, tell me, the Buffy Musical's about to come back on!"
Lugia and Mewtwo laughed, "Okay Fanny May!" The purple one shouted.
"... Lessee.... Fact one: Mere has no 'school friends' named Jenna, or any at all... Fact two: these morons sound drunk... So... Hey, I'd like to order a large pizza with extra cheese!!"
Lugia grinned. "Okay. What's your address?"
The person on the phone said something not very nice at all. "Oh no, it's back on! Call me later, freaky dudes! Ciao!"
Mewtwo screamed, "That was her! DARN IT!"
Lugia grinned and he began to dial a new number. "NEW PERSON!"
"Hello?" a very nasal/high pitched voice asked.
"Your the author's former 8th grade science teacher, right?" Mewtwo asked
"Who is the author?"
"Do you know a "Jen"?" Lugia replied.
"Yes..."
Lugia and Mewtwo grinned at each other. "WAAASSUUPP!"
"Let's see. I have to grade papers, enter them into the system..."
Three hours later, "Clean the desk tops, buy some liquid nitrogen for an experiment..."
"Dude, this isn't cool." Lugia said to Mewtwo, who in turn nodded.
With this, the phone was slammed back on it's reciever.
The teacher kept going despite the fact an automated voice was telling her to "hang up and try again."
"Who do we call now?" The drunken bird Pokemon asked.
"I know!" Mewtwo said dialing a number.
"Hello, this is Pizza Hut."
"WAAAAASSSSUUUUPPP!!!" Mewtwo began.
"WAAAAASSSSUUUUPPP!!!" Lugia joined in.
"Not you two again! Did you run out of pizza?" the man on the other line replied.
Mewtwo and Lugia looked at each other in shock, "How did you know?" the blue one asked.
"The usual?" he asked.
"Sounds good."
"Ok. It'll be there soon."
"Thanks dude!" Mewtwo ended.
"You think he's psychic?" Lugia asked.
"I thought we were supposed to be."
"Not when we're totally wasted!"
"DUDE! WAAAAASSSSUUUUPPP!!!" They yelled at each other.
[Note: The author in no way belives getting drunk is a good idea of a hobby or lifestyle. In fact, she believe it's the worst thing you can have as a lifestyle besides drugs and killing. Say no to alcohol and prank phone calls and yes to reviewing fics!]