When
the smoke clears a bang sign is sticking out of the gun. Scarlet
slowly wakes up, and begins to laugh.
Plum and Scarlet: APRIL
FOOLS!
Boddy: (feeling his heart) Oh my Lord! I think I am
done for the day! (Wipes his brow) Whew! Lets promise not to do any
more pranks for tonight, okay?
Green: (sarcastic) Yeah. That's a promise.
Boddy:
Oh my. This excitment reminds me, I have to take my medicine. (He
whips out pills)
Mustard: Heavens Boddy, I'm surprised you
haven't caught on after so many pranks!
Boddy: Well, you can
fool me once, you can fool me twice, and then you only have to fool
me a couple of more times until I figure you out! Col. Mustard, you
are a murderer!
The
whole room gasps, looks at Mustard, and then is silent for a few
seconds.
Mustard: (Panicing) No! I swear! It was self defense!
They had it coming anyway! (Pulls out his lead pipe) I didn't do it!
I didn't do it I tell you! I was framed! You'll never take me
alive!!! Never!!! I'll get you!!! I'll get you all!!!! And it'll look
like a bloody accide........wait. Ummm...what murder are you
refurring to anyway?
Boddy: (puffs up and bursts out) HAHA! I
GOT YOU!!!! You look like a cherry! Your face is all red!!! HAHA!
You're not Col. Mustard! You're Col. Heinz!!!!! HAHAHAHA!
Mustard:
Why you bloody son of a..........
Boddy: HAHA!
APRIL..........
Mustard: I swear to God, if you say it
I'll..........
Boddy.........FOOLS! HAHAHAHAHA!
All
guests, except Mustard, burst out laughing too. White then comes into
the room.
White: Why are you all laughing!? You should be on
the phone!!!!
Scarlet: Why?!
White: Mrs. Peacock of
course!!!!
Scarlet: What about her?
White:
While I was.....well........ in the little girls' room, I went to go
see if Mrs. Peacock was alright. Everyone forgot about her, poor
dear. I ran to the lounge and found her.........dead!!!
Scarlet:
Haha. Very funny.
White: This is no joke!!!
Green: Yes
of course.
White: But how would I pull off a joke? Mrs.
Peacock HATES April Fools day!
Everyone
pauses to think.
Plum: My God! She's right! To the
lounge!!!
All the suspects run down the hall to the Lounge
where Peacock was. And there she lay. Dead, with a stream of blood
running from her head. Plum walks over, bends down, and feels her
pulse.
Plum: (picks up hand) Yes. This time, no joke, (drops
hand, slumps to floor) she's dead.
The whole crowd gasps.
White:
Awww. The poor dear.
Scarlet: I knew she was rude, but rude
enough for someone to KILL her?
Mustard: I knew all this
joking would lead to disaster.
Boddy: I'll go call the
Doctor!
Green: Good Idea.
Exit Boddy.
White:
Maybe it was an accident?
Scarlet: THAT ain't no
accident.
Mustard: Of course not. A person inflicted these
wounds. No accident could have done this. Not at all.
White: Aw....I'd hate to think that somebody here would have done this to her.
Scarlet: (pointing to White) It could have just as easily been you!!
Mustard: Now, Scarlet. It's no good pointing fingers. We have to logically figure out whodunit.
Plum walks away and begins thinking.
Scarlet:
Well, you got me!
White: The very idea!
Green: I don't know.
Mustard: Well of course we don't know! We all had the proper motives for killing the old bitty!
Green: And even still, we were all out of this room at one time or another leaving whole gaps of time for the murder to take place.
Scarlet: Great! It's impossible to find out which of you did it!
Mustard: (Getting in her face) What do you mean "which of you did it"?
White: (Joining in) You said yourself it could have easily been anybody!
Scarlet: Correction. I said it could have easily been YOU!
White: Why you horrid thing you!
White pulls out a candlestick from her apron and gestures to hit Scarlet on the head with it. Plum suddlenly comes out his thinking spot and tries to calm White down.
Plum:
PLEASE! Calm down! Scarlet! Stop tourmenting White! And White, please
put that ghastly thing away. I have figured out another way to solve
the murder.
Green: You really think........
Plum:
Yes.
Green: Everyone! Plum knows what to do!
White:
(Putting the stick away) REALLY?!
Plum: Of course. I am a
proffesor you know.
Mustard: Jolly Good!
Plum: But, I
do need a chalk board.
White: Mr. Boddy keeps one in the
closet!
Plum: Splendid! Bring it here.
White: (White opens the closet with a key) Oh, Plum! There's chalk in the desk, dearie.
Mustard
and Green carry out a large chalkboard from the closet. Plum opens up
a desk drawer and pulls out some chalk.
Mustard: I hope you're
right about this Plum.
Plum: Oh, Don't worry. Don't worry.
This is sure to work.
Scarlet: It had better!
Plum: Ok.
This method should work wonderfully. Now, we may all have had
motives, weapons and oppertunities, but there is one thing that one
person had that the rest didn't.
Green: What is that?
Plum: Time.
Green: For what?
Plum: For plotting a scheme like this. You see, everyone here played a prank, but some of us did lesser or plotted things a little simpler than the others. You cannot plot a murder with other plans on your mind. That is, unless you're really good. And let's face it, none of us here are any good.
Green and White nod their heads.
Scarlet: But, if that is the case, it could have been Mr. Boddy. He lives here for goodness sake. This gives him lots of time to plan this out. Plus, his April fools pranks weren't even pranks. Just REALLY bad jokes.
Green: But I do have to admit, that one with Mustard was pretty funny.
Mustard: Quiet you!
Plum: Miss Scarlet, Mr. Boddy's jokes were bad because he is 95 years old. And if his jokes were bad, how do you think his plans would turn out?
Mustard: (to Scarlet) He has a point love.
Plum: Besides, even if he did make a good scheme, what makes you think a 95 year old man could break open a woman's head?
Scarlet: I guess you're right.
Plum:
Okay. Now that Mr. Boddy is out of the way, I will write the other
suspects onto the chalk board. (He does) I shall put a tally mark
next to each person's name for each prank they pulled. First
off.......we all met in the dining room and ate our dinner (makes
eating sounds). Soon, we are blown away by an ELABORATLEY done
"severed head trick"!
White: (relieved) I WAS IN
THAT!!
Plum: Yes and so was Mr. Green!
Green: Yes! I
was wasn't I?
Plum: That's one for Green and White (slash,
slash). Remember what happens next?
Scarlet: You stab yourself
in the head!
Plum: Yes! That's one for me (slash)! Ok. Next,
Miss Scarlet and Col. Mustard run off to the Ballroom and.......
Mustard:
Play our prank!!!
Plum: RIGHT! One for Scarlet and one for
Mustard (slash, slash).
Mustard: That's Col. Mustard to
you!
Plum: Sorry. Anyway, the next prank, Col. Mustard's
death, belonged to Col. Mustard (slash).
Mustard: Quite
so.
Plum: Oh and the prank I pulled with Miss Scarlet. (slash,
slash) I think that's all?
Scarlet: Yes, unless you count the
one Mr. Boddy played...........
Green: You mean the joke about
Col. Mustard?
Scarlet: Of course the joke about Col. Mustard
you Neanderthal!
Plum: Oh yes. Thank you for reminding me! I
shall need that later. Then disaster. Mrs. Peacock is killed.
