Green: So who killed her?
Plum: Well lets check our chart and figure this out.
White: Even a maid could figure that out!
Plum: (reads the chart and starts looks at White) A maid like you?
White: Excuse me?
Plum: You are the one who killed her.
The whole crowd gasps.
White: What? I did not! How could you say that?
Plum: Very easily ma'am.
White: How?
Plum: Well, first point, you only played one prank tonight!
White: Yes...but...it was a difficult prank!
Plum: That's funny.
White: No it's not. It's serious.
Plum: No. I don't mean "That's funny" as in "Ha Ha" funny, I mean "That's funny" as in "That's odd".
Mustard: What's odd about it Plum?
Plum: Well, I beleive I recall White saying that Green helped her rig it. That gives most of the work to Green, doesn't it?
Green: That's right! I did help you White!
White: Well I...
Plum: Second point. You are Mr. Boddy's maid correct?
White: Yes I am. But I don't see what...
Plum: Well, we had said earlier that Mr. Boddy had plenty of time to scheme up a plan because this is his house. But, it could just as easily have been you too.
Scarlet: Yes I see! She lives here as well!
White: (To Plum) But wouldn't you have heard Mrs. Peacock scream? I am old as well. I couldn't kill her in one hit.
Plum: But this is where Mr. Boddy's joke about Col. Mustard comes in. You must have killed Mrs. Peacok while Col. Mustard was ranting. You see, you were not in the room with us, and the Colonel was shouting pretty loud.
Green: And we were laughing pretty loud as well.
White: (to Plum) What was my motive then Sherlock?
Plum: Mrs. Peacock had always treated you like an possesion when she came to visit. Like a lower servant or a slave.
White: She treated me like a piece of dirt! Me and all of my dear friends (presents the other guests) I hated her so much I could have...
Mustard: Killed her?
Green: So it is true?!
Plum: Let her show you for herself. Mrs. White, please pull out that candlestick you had earlier. I want to give it a closer look.
White pulls out a bloody candlestick from her apron. The whole crowd steps back, Scarlet screams, Green and Mustard gasp. Plum looks cross.
White: Yes it was me, with the candlestick, in the lounge. I really did DESPISE that woman. She was very rude and a snob. Always making fun of us. Never showing me or Mr. Boddy any gratitude for all we had done for her. I know why she was friends with Mr. Boddy. It was just to get his fortune when he dies. That's all she cared about. HIS MONEY! She had to be done away with. So I had this whole thing set up for a while. You know. Friends visit. Find an opportunity. WHACK! Right into her "poor, sensetive skull". You see, I knew Mr. Boddy loved playing April Fools jokes and would invite you all here. So while he and all of you were busy having your "fun", (strokes the candlestick) I had mine. And, I still managed to pull off the biggest April Fools prank of them all.
Mustard: How so?
White: I must have fooled you all or this wouldn't have been such a mystery.
Green: Ah, yes.
Plum: But you have so many witnesses to this! You could be arrested if we go to the authorities! That is, unless you poisoned our brandy or something silly like that. (all laugh)
White: Oh no Proffesor. I would never poison all of you. You are innocent. Mrs. Peacock is the one who had to pay. I know what I did was wrong and, truth be told, I want to be punished.
Green: Whew! That's a relief.
Plum: That's very civil of you White.
Mustard: Quite so.
White: Hehehe.
Scarlet: What's so funny?!
White: Hehehe! Hahahaha!
Scarlet: Come on! Speak up!!
White: Muwahahaha! April Fools. (all gasp) I pickled your drinks with cyanide right before dinner.
All the guests look at each other and then clutch their throats.
White: I figured it was better to be safe than sorry (giggles). I think it should take effect right about...hmmm...now lets see...(looks at the clock)...now.
They all gasp for air. They start breathing very heavily. The noise fills the whole room as they scramble around like ants. And then suddenly, they stop breathing altogether.
Plum: (breathless) Oh dear! I didn't see this coming.
THUD! Plum, Scarlet, Green, and Mustard all tumble to the floor.
White: (sarcastic) Anyone for seconds?
White walks over to one of the guests and kicks them to make sure they are really dead. Suddenly Boddy walks into the room.
Boddy: Everyone, I couldn't get a hold of...(sees everyone but White, on the floor) good God! White! What happened to all of them?!
White: (innocently) They aren't wounded at all! There must have been something wrong with the brandy!
Boddy: Oh dear!! I didn't like the taste of that stuff to begin with, that's why I gave the rest of mine to you.
White: (breathless) WHAT!?
Boddy: I said I gave the rest of mine to...
THUD! White's body falls to the ground.
Boddy: White? White?
His face turns pale. Boddy feels his pulse.
Boddy: Oh dear. Now I see.
THUD! He falls to the ground as well.
After a pause, the mansion door opens and a small little man with a mustache, stethoscope and small beady eyes walks in. This is Doctor Black.
Black: Mr. Boddy! Mr. Boddy! It's Doctor Black! You called me up earlier! I'm here to pick up Mrs. Peacock!
Black walks into the Hall and looks about.
Black: Whew. This is one huge house! (Yells up the staircase) HELLO?!
There is an echo. Black walks over to the lounge door and knocks on it.
Black: Mr. Boddy, are you here? (Opens the door and walks in) Mr. Boddy, I...
Black sees all of the Clue characters dead on the floor. He stops dead in his tracks and gasps.
Black: Oh my. We're going to need a bigger hearse.
Blackout
Hogarth steps out.
Hogarth: So you see, the moral to this story is, while it's fun to joke around, too much joking is a good way to get hurt... or even MURDERED! Muwhahahaha! (Sighs) What a night.(Beat) Now everyone, if you excuse me, I must to get back to the mansion and clean. Dead bodies are most defiantly, untidy. (Smiles evily).
Blackout.
THE END