Author's
Note: My
extended thanks to Helene and Nikita.
Also, Star Wars fans will notice a bit of familiarity toward the end - muahaha.
I couldn't resist.
Disclaimer: The
characters herein with the exception of Clark McCallister are the property of
Thomas Harris. They are being used without permission for entertainment
purposes and not for the sake of profit. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter Four
Wednesday evening was bittersweet.
Arrival home from Quantico was earlier than usual. Because of the nature of her
upcoming trip, Pearsall was cutting her more slack than she reckoned anyone had
since graduation. She suspected it was more because of Crawford's influence
rather than choice. While no one would confirm anything in one way or another,
it was hinted in every note of his tone. Starling had never accused her
supervisor of holding the same prejudices she suffered from colleagues, but she
was certain they affected his customary behavior toward her, whether or not by
intention.
She was home by three in the afternoon and was unsurprised to see Mapp crashed
on the sofa. It was then that she was offered the first opportunity to relate
her meeting with McCallister to her roommate. The previous evening had not seen
her friend home until well past 2:00 AM. She was still sleeping when Starling
left the house that morning and had taken Ira to lunch before cutting the rest
of the day. There were several days like this; days where they went completely
without seeing each other due to conflicting schedules. It was always provided
fuel for lengthy conversations when allowed the chance to sit down and catch
up.
The initial reaction from her friend was not wholly unexpected. Rather,
Starling had to sit back and bite her lip to wan amusement. They spoke over a
bottle of Colt 45, sliding it back and forth across the coffee table.
"That fucking creep," Mapp muttered as she refilled her glass. "So what now?
You still gonna do it? You can bail, you know. It ain't never too late. Didya
tell Crawford what he said? Ten bucks says he won't let him within a stone's throw
in hell of you now."
Starling shook her head, leaning back, taking her half-empty drink with her.
"It's not that, Ardelia. If anything, our visit encouraged me that nothing will
go wrong. He wants publicity…that's why he did what he did. That much is very
clear. As for asking for me, I believe it was a
combination of additional exposure and curiosity."
"Curiosity?"
"He said he had followed my interactions with Dr. Lecter, and made several
references to insinuate his wondering why a man of that
character and reputed elegance would've decided I
was good enough to talk to." Starling took a hard
drink and made an involuntary face. "He doesn't realize that his guess is as
good as mine. Sucks to be him."
Mapp's brows quirked in challenge. "Sucks to be you,
I'd say. From where I'm sitting, he don't lose
nothing. Crawford and Pearsall agreeing to this bullshit arrangement gives
McCallister exactly what he wants. All for what? A quiet transfer? Who cares
anymore? I believe everyone from here to Sacramento has agreed that the man
ain't as clever as a certain doctor we all know. What's the worst he can do?"
The thought was with her before she could think to prevent it. Though it
remained unvoiced, she had to lend herself pause in consideration. A haunting
acknowledgement that rang of sharp truth. But you didn't
know him. No one really did.
Something within her fell, indistinguishable.
I came really close.
Starling shook the thought away and shrugged, struggling briefly to recall what
they were discussing. "It took forever to find him, Ardelia. I'm sure he could
find some way to make the transfer very unpleasant if I don't do this." A short
pause. "Besides, I'm getting a two week vacation as a result. All for putting
up with McCallister for one day. I can do it."
With a snicker, her friend rolled her eyes and grinned humorlessly, taking
another drink. "I can just see you in twenty years. You can write about this,
you know. Inside The Killer's Cell or
some stupid shit like that. One hundred twenty pages and you'd be a fucking
millionaire. Just throw in some juicy stuff about Lecter (cause let's face it,
ain't no one as interested in a two-bit serial killer as they are a cannibal)
and tie 'em together with some hazy sentences to imply the two are linked. Make
it kinky. It'll sell."
By the time Mapp finished structuring her theory, Starling was in stitches. The
idea was rightly preposterous; the sheer image of herself producing anything
relative to the suggested material was beyond lines of absurdity. Perhaps it
was more the liquor, but whatever the case, it didn't seem to matter.
"Whatever, 'Delia," she said between chuckles. "Sure, that'd sell. I'd have to
write it right now, and
I don't have the time. By the time my retirement rolls around, no one'll even
remember Dr. Lecter exists, much less Clark McCallister. Like you said, who
really cares about a serial killer unless he's on the loose? We both saw it
with Jame Gumb. Everyone cared until Catherine Martin surfaced, then forgot
about it. As long as Mad Miccy's no longer a threat to Joe Blow and his family,
society don't give a fuck."
"Mad Miccy!" Mapp squealed with a rumble of drunken laughter. "That's the best
I've heard yet! You better send
that in to the Tattler. If
you don't, I will."
"Go right ahead."
The air around them grew silent for a few awkward minutes. Glasses were drained
and refilled, and drained again.
"Starling?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you sumfin?"
"Ain't nothing stopping yah." The pattern of her speech always suffered the
later these drinking parties ensued.
"Where do yah think he is?"
She swallowed. "Dr. Lecter?"
Mapp looked down, images of her impending drunkenness vanishing at an alarming
rate. That was a great area of envy between them. For whatever reason, the
Maker had blessed her with the ability to transform from tipsy to the epitome
of earnestness before anyone could blink. Starling never knew when Mapp was
authentically inebriated. She was, perhaps, the only person who could remain
sharp as a tack despite the chemical reactions conflicting in her body. "I
don't mean to sound like everyone who's been giving you a headache," she
continued softly. "It's been…what? Three, four years?"
Her words nearly fell to deaf ears. Merely the question stirred within her a
wave of recollection, and shivers sprouted across her skin in affect. The
mention drew her to a flash of a dying image, and she remembered immediately of
whom she dreamt the night before. After awakening that morning, she brushed it
off as people normally do, and only now found the time to consider his
involvement disconcerting.
Any form of illustration flickered and died. Starling was grateful for her
inability to recall her dreams, but similarly frustrated. Obviously, whatever
the doctor had told her subconscious had calmed her. It was so unsurprising on
a level that it made her shudder. Her discussions with Dr. Lecter in the past
were brief and had not concerned reassurance. It was pain the doctor loved, any
at all pain. In a sense, it was his air. A way to keep himself entertained in
isolation. Their discussions were courtly, yes, but he had never offered a
sympathetic reaction to any of her raw emotions.
He had also refrained from cutting her down in his infamous manner. Where he
had the reputation of making grown men cry simply for biting reviews of poor
articles in medical journals, he had only shown her that part of himself once.
In the beginning. Before he really became
interested.
"Four years," she said at last, wincing as she drained the remainder of her
glass. "Not quite, but closer to four than three. Oh, I don't know, Ardelia.
Lord knows I've wondered…lately more than ever."
"Since this McCallister bullshit started?"
Starling nodded, resting her glass on the coffee table and leaning into the
embracing comfort of decorator pillows. "I think he probably lost himself in
Europe…or will, if he hasn't already. Crawford kept an eye on Florence
following his escape, but when things went quiet, he pulled his supervision."
"Why Florence?"
"The drawings." Her voice trailed off into another sea of recollection. "Lecter
was in love with Florence, but I believe he's too smart to have gone there
immediately. I think he could've concealed himself well…we know he went to St.
Louis first and had no trouble, even with his face flashing every television
screen." She huffed out a breath and shook her head heavily again, drawing her
hands to rub her eyes agitatedly. "I don't see why Crawford insists that he
isn't as smart as he appeared to be. I think he was that and then some. None of
us saw that coming."
"Ever think he could be here?"
Starling arched a skeptical brow. "Washington?"
"No…the States."
"Never." With a definitive headshake, she succumbed to temptation and lurched
for the bottle and refilled her glass. "Make me stop after this one," she
instructed Mapp offhandedly, knowing perfectly well she would do no such thing.
"No, no…Dr. Lecter has taste. For the most part, the States don't. I think he
likes it here in certain places, but he could never live in Baltimore again."
Mapp didn't appear convinced. Lips pursing in thought, she leaned forward and
pried the Colt 45 from Starling's grasp, debated refilling her own glass before
setting it aside. "You ever think," she asked softly, "that he could
be here…like, watching you? That someday he might?"
The question flushed her cold. "Why would he? He said he wouldn't."
"Well…there was some merit to what McCallister said, if you think about it."
Mapp gauged the harsh look that insinuation received but didn't balk. Such was
not expected nor appreciated. With a friendship this long in the making, they
were accustomed to prying well beyond the lines of comfort and into territory
restricted to anyone else. "Lecter talked to
you, Starling. There ain't no getting around that. Why is anyone's guess. But
he talked to you when he would talk to no one. You honestly think that he
doesn't consider coming around to check up on you once in a while?"
With a heavy shake of her head, Starling tore her eyes away and fixed her gaze
on an aging liquor stain on the carpet. "Whether he considers
it or not is his affair. I don't think so. I think
he likely has disassociated himself from anything pertaining to the asylum or
his former life, regardless of how I interested him."
"You think he used you to escape?"
"No." It was an honest answer; one she didn't have to consider before replying.
With whatever forged kinship, there was always a sense of authenticity. Even
years later she saw that the doctor had at least at one time held her in a
higher light. Whether he did now was improbable. There was respect, of course.
A part of her wished to believe that would never die on either end of the
unlikely bond. "No. I believe he was sincere, but I also know that once he saw
an out, he would use whatever interest he had in the case for self-benefit.
Lecter was courteous—something I still don't understand—but he was also a very
smooth manipulator. Once Chilton let the cat out of the bag about the phony
deal, he pretended to go along with it all the while knowing what he would do
once he got to Memphis." Starling sighed and shook her head once more. "He knew
what was going to happen after I visited him then. He was counting
on it…my visit, I mean.
"He had that air about him," she continued after a short pause. "While I never
guessed he would escape, I knew he was playing around with authorities…throwing
out names like Billy Rubin, knowing they would chase to all ends before
realizing it was a fake. He timed it all so well." After releasing another
sigh, her eyes traveled upward and reflected Mapp's concern. Starling chuckled
lightly and shook her head in contrary discernment. "McCallister is different.
If he tries anything, it'll be spur of the moment and clumsy. He's never been a
part of a transfer and really doesn't know what to expect. Besides, we're
hoarding several others with him and there will be two armed guards at either
end of the plane."
"And you'll be far away from him?"
She nodded, finishing off her drink and setting the glass aside. "I'll be at
the front of the plane along with a couple US Marshals. Every precaution is
being taken, girlfriend. You have no reason to worry."
"I ain't gonna stop worrying till you're back here safe 'en sound," Mapp
replied, drawing the bottle back within reach, rolling it idly against the
coffee table. "Not just about the transfer. I know you're a big girl and have
already have had more action than I ever hope to see…but—"
"I need this time off," Starling said definitively. "I'm looking forward to
it."
"Know where you're going yet?"
"There's a flight out of Colorado Springs to Houston Friday afternoon." She
breathed deeply and leaned back again. "Might as well visit, you know. I won't
make the entire trip of it…just drive to Hubbard when I feel I can and visit."
Mapp nodded her understanding. "You haven't visited since you graduated, have
you?"
"No. After that, I might go as far down south as San Antonio. I have two weeks.
Might as well make the most of it."
"Alamo?"
"Along with all the other obnoxious tourists, I'm thinkin' so."
Smiling thinly, her friend heaved herself off the couch with an exaggerated
sigh. "That'll be good for you," Mapp admitted as she moved for the kitchen
they shared. "No one can say you haven't earned it."
Starling scoffed her disagreement, pulling herself to her feet. In the past,
they had made habit of talking late into the night only to wake at some obscene
hour the next day without difficulty. It was more her habit than Mapp's, though
her friend could wake just as early if necessary. That seemed a long time ago.
Her flight schedule required her up at 2:30 to make it on time. "You'd think
that, wouldn't you? Both you and Crawford said the same. I'm sure that
Krendler'll pitch a fit, though, and get a bunch of people hacked that I got
time off."
The shout was muffled by the imposing presence of the kitchen door, but
nonetheless heard without handicap. "Fuck Krendler!"
"Nuh uh, girly. He's all yours." As Mapp broke into subtle chuckles, Starling
joined her in the kitchen to wash out her glass. "Listen, I gotta crash."
"Now? It's early."
"So's my flight. I wanna be alert. Scratch that: I gotta
be alert. No sleeping tomorrow."
"All righty." Mapp turned and pried her glass from her hands, smiling kindly.
"I guess that means I'm off to bed, too."
"Why?"
"Think I'm gonna let you on that plane without saying goodbye? Hell no, sistah.
Ain't gonna see you for two weeks. 'Sides, I'm usually up then, anyway."
"Getting up isn't as easy as staying up, you know."
"Of course I know. Try to make that stop me."
Starling grinned. Sometimes, a lot of the time, Mapp could do things so
singularly thoughtful that it made up for past inconsistencies. "You're the
best."
"I knows it. Don't you forget
it. Now get your ass in bed. I'll do the dishes."
* * *
When the alarm clock sounded at 2:30, Starling was instantly ready to act.
Dying wails of a fading dream echoed into the distance; the nightly routine
unashamedly interrupted leaving unfinished dead stirrings of dread to spool her
insides. Like those preceding it, sleep had lent itself to a variety of tossing
and turning through horrific visions of the past in league with event that
awaited her upon awakening. She had never slept well when she knew she was
facing a particularly rough day.
Much to her surprise, Mapp, true to her word, rolled out of bed thirty minutes
later. A pot of coffee was brewing by the time Starling stepped out of the
shower, along with the rich smell of old fashioned country cooking. They shared
casual chitchat and drained the remaining supply of caffeine in the house. Both
instinctively avoided the issue that hung over the room like a pulsing storm
cloud waiting for monsoon season.
An hour after waking, the doorbell rang. Starling didn't hear it; she was in
the middle of drying her hair and getting the rest of her gear together. When
she went downstairs for the final time before departure, she was surprised to
see Mapp talking quietly with John Brigham over a box of doughnuts. They both
stood when she entered the room.
"I called John after you went to bed," Mapp explained nonchalantly, her tone
indicating many different things that only a person who knew her very well
would detect. "Thought it might do you good to see a different friendly face
before you left."
Starling smiled her gratitude, stepping forward. "I appreciate that, John, but
it's not necessary."
"Don't be silly." He smiled nicely at her. "I told Ardelia that I'd be happy to
drive you two to the airport. Don't know if I told you, Starling, but
everyone's really awestruck that you're actually doing this."
"I've heard what they're saying, John, at least some of them." She heaved out a
sigh. "Whispers, really. It's anything but awe."
"Don't pay attention to it."
"I don't. How do you think I survive every day?" With a good-natured smile,
Starling offered a shrug. "People will say and think what they feel is
appropriate, regardless of little things like facts."
There was a sigh and Brigham nodded, looking down. "You're a good sport," he
said softly. "And you put up with a bunch of stuff that no one person should
rightly face. I should tell you now, though…someone's leaked to the press.
Crawford's pretty wound up about it. I know you won't be here to see any
immediate headlines, but I thought you should know. You'll undoubtedly hear of
it wherever you end up going."
Beforehand such news would have caused her to flush with cold anger. Now,
however, it came with such predictability that all the reaction she could
muster was a chortle of anticipation and a roll of the eyes. "Surprise,
surprise. Well, I told Crawford that someone would eventually."
It was Mapp who reacted most violently. Her eyes flared and she emitted a
highly audible sigh of contempt, arms crossing tellingly athwart her chest.
However, she refrained from vocalizing her obvious judgment. An unspoken
understanding construed to the knowledge that any additional conversation in
one way or another would achieve nothing than to further agitate already raw
nerves.
Afterward, everyone was all business. Brigham helped Starling with her things
into his car. The air between them was still slightly awkward, but things were
gradually returning to a state that felt most like the norm. Before he asked.
Though she knew why Mapp had invited him and did not approve, it was nice to
see a friend this dark morning.
The drive carried out in silence. No one felt up to speaking.
At the landing, Mapp embraced Starling tightly. Despite the oddity of the
situation, her friend was acting principally bizarre; had been since the
assignment surfaced. She suspected it was in ode to her growing irritation with
Crawford and the way the system continually recycled her in such a manner.
Brigham shook her hand and indulged her in a mini-lecture on firearms for the
benefit of her amusement. Starling smiled faintly and conceded a chuckle.
No one watched as the prisoners boarded. She refrained from looking at the
plane as long as possible.
Crawford seized her hand as she stepped away as he had the day of graduation.
"Thank you," was all he said.
To Brigham, Mapp neared protectively. "I got a funny feeling," she whispered,
nodding in Starling's direction. "Like I'm not going to see her again."
However, it was Starling who had the last word. As she disappeared into the
darkness of the plane, handing over her badge and various side arms, she turned
again to look at everyone who was dear to her. Everyone who was now watching
her leave. Everyone she was doing this for.
Mad McCallister's eyes were on her from the very first. She didn't grant him
the satisfaction of gazing back. Instead, she exhaled deeply and shook her
head. "I have a bad feeling about this," she muttered.
It was the only time such a confession would escape her lips.
* * *
