Lost and Found
Lee was as lost as lost could get. He'd wandered far from home, and now was beside a towering, sand-beaten rock formation. Any other time he would have thought that this in itself was a great place to play, but now he cowered in the shadows, trying to keep cool and make his water last. The thing was, it wasn't his fault. It had started off as a normal day in the rather unusual household he called his family. He, Grant, and Peter had been awakened for breakfast, eaten, gotten dressed, and headed off for school. The moment their feet had come within yards of their destination, some dark, shady figures had emerged from the alley adjacent, calling themselves Gung-Ho Guns. In panic, since they didn't have their weapons, the three boys scattered, hoping they could outrun the so-called Gung-Ho Guns before they could give chase. Now Lee was alone, and he felt empty without having his twin near him.
"This must be how Knives must've felt when Dad wasn't near him." Lee thought, shuddering as he thought about it. He didn't want to go insane! Yet, as the suns set, Lee could feel the weight of extreme loneliness on his shoulders, and did all he could do at that moment; he cried. He was lost and alone, and things couldn't get much worse than that, could they?
Meryl worriedly chewed on her bottom lip as she watched the men prepare to set off again. Vash was angry and upset that Lee was still missing, Wolfwood was in almost the same mood, Legato, though he didn't show emotion as openly, looked downright afraid for the missing boy. Grant and Peter had been found cowering under the stilted foundation of a house near the outskirts of town, terrified. What made matters even worse was that Orchid had reported Knives missing just a little while before Grant and Peter had come home. And no one knew what frame of mind Knives was in. But Vash could guess.
"He must have been in a sane frame of mind, since he went out dressed in the clothes we'd bought for him and he took two canteens of water with him." Vash had said, as though surprised by that fact alone.
"I hope Lee's all right." Meryl murmured, as tears rose, unbidden, to her eyes. She was about to stifle them, but then felt Milly give her a hug.
"It's all right to cry. You're just a worried mother, Meryl. You have every right." Milly said, trying to sound strong, even though her voice had a tremor in it.
"I should be out there, helping them search." Meryl said, as she watched the door for the men's return.
"Vash doesn't want you doing anything strenuous, especially since there is another baby on the way. The doctor had told him to keep you from doing such things." Milly said, wisely.
"I know, but I can't help but feel helpless just waiting here. I don't want to be seen like I am replacing Lee with this new baby." Meryl murmured, remorsefully.
"You won't, because Lee will come home, alive, well, and as hungry as a Thomas. C'mon, we're late getting dinner started. Let's have it ready for them when they come home." Milly said, as she went about getting the ingredients.
"Okay." Meryl said, as she dried her tears and started helping.
Lee awoke when he heard the sound of crunching footsteps close by. Instinctively, he wedged himself even tighter into his crevasse, hoping that whoever it was would walk past and not notice him. Then he felt a slight presence enter his mind, and, for a joyous moment, he thought it was either his brother or his father. But then he recoiled when he saw who it was. Even though there was only moonlight to illuminate the scene, it didn't take much to recognize the man who stood there.
"Knives!" Lee thought, as he watched his blood-uncle wander around, as though looking for something.
"Lee?" a mental voice asked. Lee cowered; the voice was Knives'!
"I know you're afraid of me, but I came out here to find you." Knives said, his voice a far cry from being the evil and vindictive voice Lee and Grant had heard six months before.
"Why? Why did you come out here to find me? Do you want to kill me?" Lee asked, telepathically.
"No. The truth is, feeling your father's anger and sorrow awakened me. He was very upset when he left to find you earlier, and that sort of encouraged me to regain consciousness. When I found out what was going on, I decided to help in the search." Knives replied, honestly, groaning mentally and vocally as he sat down across from Lee's hiding place. There was a few moments of silence before Lee reached out again.
"You came out here to find me……………….even though you're still hurt. Why? What is your real reason?" Lee asked.
"Isn't that what family is supposed to do?" Knives said, answering a question with a question. Lee was shocked by this answer.
"Is this what Orchid's mental healing did for you?" Lee asked, as he started inching his way out of his hiding place.
"For the most part, yes. I still resent humanity, but the hatred that had fueled my insanity for so long is gone." Knives said, listening as the child emerged from his crevasse and slowly made his way over to him. Lee could see, from the moment he emerged into the moonlight, that his blood-uncle had indeed changed; not physically, but mentally. There was no longer an insane light in Knives' eyes, nor was there an unnatural smile on his face. Instead, Knives' eyes were calm, and his smile was kind and a little careworn. There was still some pain in that expression, though, and it was easily seen when Knives would breathe a little more deeply than was comfortable and put a hand over the spot where a bullet had gone into his abdomen. Against his better judgement, Lee got right next to Knives and gave the man a concerned look.
"Don't look at me like that. I'm all right. Here, wrap up in this. You're bound to be cold from being out here for so long." Knives said, as he handed Lee a blanket he had brought along with him.
"Thank you." Lee said, as he accepted the blanket and wrapped himself in it. He sobbed when he inhaled the sweet smell of the detergent his mother had used to clean it, and jumped when he felt a hand ruffle his hair. Knives' heart twisted within him when Lee looked up at him and gave him a sorrowful look, remembering when it was Vash that had looked at him like that all those years ago.
"Vash, you have no idea how much this boy looks like you. He may not have your hair and eyes, but his gentle soul is identical to yours'. I just wish I had seen that sooner." Knives thought, hiding a wince as he gathered the boy into his arms and placed him on his lap, valiantly ignoring the protest his thighs gave when that much pressure was put on them.
"Don't cry. It kills me inside to see you upset." Knives murmured, as the boy relaxed in his grasp.
"I just wanna go home. Everyone's probably giving up on findin' me. They'll never come looking out here." Lee sobbed.
"Lee, knowing your father as I do, he will never give up. He'll turn this world upside down just to find you. That's just the sort of person he is. Besides, once he hears that I am also missing, he'll be bound to turn up somewhere." Knives reassured.
"Which is all the more reason to kidnap the kid, right boys?" a sneering voice said, as three men emerged from the darkness. Immediately Knives got to his feet and stood in front of Lee.
"What do you want with this child? Why do you want to kidnap him?" Knives asked, as he felt in his pockets for his gun, stiffening when he found that it wasn't there.
"That brat is bait for our trap! We're gonna use him to lure Vash the Stampede out of hiding. Then we'll be able to collect that sixty billion double dollar reward!" one of the men said, as he took one step closer to Knives.
"And what if I was Vash the Stampede? Would you let the boy go?" Knives asked.
"Heh. He's seen too much. We'd have to make sure he doesn't talk. So no, we wouldn't let him go." Another man, this one a bony man with reptilian eyes, said.
"You're not going to kill him. Over my dead body." Knives snarled, as he made a movement with his hand and pulled one of the guns away from the men (a la Darth Vader) and pointed it at them.
"What the hell?! Shoot 'im!" the leader shouted, furiously, as his men shook themselves out of their shock and began shooting. With expertise Lee had only seen once before, Knives dodged bullets and fired back, knocking weapons out of his opponents' hands with his shots.
"Lee, get going! I'll be right behind you!" Knives ordered, as he covered Lee's escape. Lee nodded and began running in the direction he thought town was in, hoping against hope that he was right in his guess.
Legato looked up when he heard the sound of someone running towards him. Holding his lamp aloft, he tried to see who was out there, and was surprised when he saw a bedraggled looking boy running towards him.
"Lee!" Legato said, not bothering to hide the relief that was on his face and in his voice.
"Legato! Uncle Knives………………………Uncle Knives is in trouble!" Lee panted, as panic reemerged in his young eyes.
"Knives? What do you mean he's in trouble?" Legato asked, confused and startled by this bit of news.
"He came out to find me, and he found me, and then the Gung-Ho Guns appeared, and now he's fighting them, and…………….and………." Lee said, all in a rush, and it was all Legato could do to understand him.
"Lee, calm down. I can barely understand what you're trying to tell me. Slow down and tell me what is going on." Legato said, as he gripped the boy's shoulders gently (Vash had found Legato trustworthy about three months prior, and, as a reward, Legato had gotten a new left arm out of the deal. Much to Wolfwood's chagrin). Lee took a deep breath and started from the beginning, starting from when he, his brother, and Peter had left for school, and ending when Knives had told him to run.
"Lee, where is Knives now?" Legato asked, noting that the boy looked very tired and very scared at the same time.
"The rocks back that way. I left him back there. He said he was coming after me." Lee said, as he pointed back the way he'd come. As Legato looked back in that direction, he could indeed hear faint gunshots.
"Let's get you back home. Vash and Nicholas should be there by now. Your mother has been very worried about you." Legato said, as he scooped up and carried Lee back to the house. Lee, though a little surprised that Legato was carrying him, relaxed into the former assassin's chest when he realized that he was going home, and that his part in this nightmarish day was over.
Knives winced as bullets bounced off of the boulder he was hiding behind. He yelped when one bullet grazed the side of his left knee, and another opened a cut on his cheek.
"Damn it! This is why I hated humans!" Knives shouted, as he fired back, listening with satisfaction when he heard one gunman scream and fall. He listened as yells of fury came from the two remaining gunmen, and as they renewed their assault on him. Even though he knew he was the better gunman, Knives also knew that he was running out of strength. His movements were becoming sluggish and painful, and on more than one occasion, his vision swam and consciousness threatened to leave him.
"I can't pass out! I can't! I must protect the twins from these bastards! I owe that much to Vash!" Knives thought, as he grimly looked down at the gun in his hands. He was running low on ammo, which meant that if help didn't come soon, he was done for. As he sat there, beneath the moons and stars, Knives tilted his head back and sent a silent prayer up.
"If anyone is up there, please tell Vash and the others where this place is. I can't die up here, not when I am just getting to know my nephew, Lee. Rem, if you're up there, give Vash a sign." Knives thought, then caught himself. He was asking Rem for help?! Then he shook his head; since when would Rem help him? After all, he'd murdered her right in front of Vash and caused Vash to cry. He had no right.
"So you finally understand, Knives?" a feminine voice asked, in his mind. Knives sat ramrod straight; he knew that voice!
"Rem?" Knives asked, and was answered by a gentle laugh.
"Yes. I am speaking to you through your heart." Rem's voice replied, as she appeared in spectral form before him.
"Rem, how could you still smile at me like that? I'd killed you and the crew of Project SEEDS through my misguided hate. You'd called us angels, but Vash is the true angel; I'm nothing more than a fallen angel, a demon. How could you ever forgive me?" Knives asked, as silent tears flowed down his face. Rem's ghost shook her head gently.
"Knives, you are still an angel to me. I should have seen the pain you were in, and recognized it for what it was. I forgave you long ago, Knives, but the question is, could you ever forgive me?" Rem asked, in turn. Knives was silent for a moment, not even noticing the bullets that still ricocheted around him. But when he 'spoke' again, his words seemed to surprise Rem.
"Yes. I forgive you, Rem. I just hope that Vash someday does." Knives said, sadly. Rem gently laid a ghostly hand on his shoulder, her gentle smile never leaving her features.
"I think he already has. He is your brother after all." Rem said, as she started to fade out.
"Rem?" Knives asked, looking, for a brief moment, like the frightened little boy Rem remembered so well.
"Yes, Knives?" Rem asked.
"I'm sorry……………and thank you. For everything." Knives said, honestly. Rem laughed again.
"You're very welcome, Knives. Though you may not have realized it, I felt very privileged to have been yours and Vash's mother, even if it was for only a year. Take care of Lee and Grant, and take care of yourself. I love you." Rem said, before vanishing completely from sight.
"Rem……………" Knives murmured, his voice almost lost amid the heavy gunfire, as tears of healing ran down his face. For the first time in so many years, he felt complete.
"Things have come full circle." Knives thought, as he dried his tears on his sleeve, then fired an answering shot at his attackers.
Legato watched with silent satisfaction as the twins, Meryl, and Vash reunited. It pleased him to see the twins smile again, and see some of the tension leave Vash's face.
"I'm glad Lee's okay. But there's still the problem with Knives." Wolfwood said, grimly, as Vash straightened from a hug from the twins and nodded.
"We need to get over there. Knives could be in serious trouble." Vash said, as he loaded some bullets into his silver gun, and pocketed the black gun that belonged to Knives.
"Or he could be causin' some serious trouble, whichever one comes first." Wolfwood muttered, as he reluctantly left Milly's side again to go and grab the Cross Punisher, while Legato checked his arm gun, and the pistol he'd bought only a month before.
"Let me come too! I wanna get some payback for what those jerks put us through!" Grant said, angrily.
"No, Grant. We can't let you come with us this time; there is too much hatred in your eyes right now. If you go out there, and kill those men who'd scared you so badly, their deaths will only prove to be not enough to satisfy your desire for revenge. You'll end up following the same path I did. Do you really want to become what I was?" Legato asked, calmly, as he kneeled before the boy and looked directly into his eyes. Grant's eyes took on a frightened look before he vigorously shook his head. Legato breathed a sigh of relief, then stood up again.
"Let's go." Legato said, as the other two men nodded in agreement. Once they were away from the house, Vash voiced his gratitude.
"Thank you for talking with Grant, Legato. I could never have convinced him to stay behind if I'd tried that." Vash said, as he gave the former assassin a sideward glance.
"As Nicholas had so aptly put it six months ago, one of me was enough. There should never be another." Legato said, as guilt swirled in his golden eyes.
"I was talking about you having a twin then, Legato, not about Grant." Wolfwood said, coolly.
"If I have a twin out there, Nicholas, I don't think he's turned out like I did. Besides, if that hatred had been allowed to grow, Grant would have become another me." Legato stated, matter-of-factly.
"You're right about that. Now, let's hurry. I don't know how long Knives can last out there." Vash said, as they all melted into the shadows, following the sounds of battle to their source.
Knives threw his gun aside when it finally ran out of bullets, knowing that his only hope now was that if his enemies ran out of ammunition. By now, there were reinforcements for the men who called themselves 'Gung-Ho Guns', and they were closing in. All Knives could do was remain hidden. He ached all over, and was stiff from remaining crouched in one position for so long. The only thing that was going for him was the fact that the moons were setting, and that meant they were no longer shining directly on him.
"Rem, please hurry." Knives silently begged, retreating into the cave behind him when he heard some of the gunmen approach his hiding spot.
Vash paused when he heard something move close by. With a wave of his hand, he motioned for Wolfwood and Legato to stop and get out of sight. As they crouched there, Vash gasped when something materialized before them.
"W-what the……………….?!" Wolfwood muttered, shocked by what he saw. What had once been an empty path was now filled with several people.
"Ghosts………….." Legato whispered, his eyes wide with an emotion neither Wolfwood nor Vash could decipher.
"The crew of Project SEEDS………………Joe, Steve, Mary, Ron, and………….." Vash trailed off when the final member of the ill-fated crew appeared before them.
"Vash, is that……………..?" Wolfwood asked.
"Rem…………" Vash murmured, as sadness clouded his eyes.
"Vash, Knives needs you! Follow us!" Rem shouted, urgently.
"Is he in danger, Rem?" Vash asked, as he stood up, and the other two men did the same.
"Grave danger! We must hurry!" Rem said, as she and the other four ghosts started running.
"Wait!" Vash shouted, as he took off after them.
"Damn! Chasing shadows! Just my luck!" Wolfwood grumbled, as he followed Vash as closely as he could.
"You mean just our luck, Nicholas." Legato panted, as they both ran after Vash.
Knives ducked just as a bullet shattered the stone above his head. He was well into the cave by now, and he knew that unless he resurfaced, this place would become his tomb. Desperately, he ran deeper into the cave, hoping he could double back and get out behind the gunmen. He gasped when he plunged right into a pool of icy cold cave water.
"Water! This must be a part of the town's water supply!" Knives thought, as he struggled back onto dry land, ignoring the pain in his arms when he used them to lever himself out of the pool. Eventually the sounds of the gunmen faded, and Knives assumed he was safe to go back up to the cave entrance. Yet, no sooner had he exited the cave, he was dodging bullets again. He was running for his life, and nothing was scarier than that. For the first time in his life, he could truly sympathize with the humans he'd hunted down and killed over the years. Adrenaline pumped through his veins as he looked for another place to hide, not expecting the explosion of pain in the side of his head that came from a bullet grazing his temple. With a cry, Knives fell to the ground, and the last sight he saw was of three men arriving on the scene……………
Vash let out a cry of grief and rage when he saw his brother fall to the ground, and attacked with full fury in his eyes.
"And so into battle again." Legato muttered, as he and Wolfwood launched into the offensive, sending the bandits (which was what they in fact were) running.
"And you'd just told Grant he couldn't come because of his hatred." Wolfwood muttered, as he watched Vash shoot weapons out of men's hands and throttle them soundly before they crawled off into the night.
"This is different. As always, he is not killing anyone, just giving them the beating to remember for a lifetime." Legato said, as calm as always, then glanced at Knives' still form.
"Vash, we'll take care of the rest. You check on Knives!" Wolfwood shouted, over the noise of his Cross Punisher. Vash nodded and jogged over to his fallen brother, kneeling beside him when he'd gotten there.
"Knives?" Vash asked, as he turned his twin over. Knives moaned softly, and painfully opened his eyes.
"Vash………..you came." Knives said, sounding as though he didn't believe what he was seeing.
"Of course I did! I couldn't leave you out here to die!" Vash replied, as he started cleansing Knives' head wound with some of the water from his canteen.
"Vash…………..I'm sorry……….." Knives muttered, as he looked into his brother's eyes.
"Sorry? Sorry for what?" Vash asked, confused as to what Knives was apologizing for.
"Everything. For taking Rem away, for hurting your family, for hurting you, all those years…………My misguided hatred has caused so many others and you so much grief. I should be the one wearing that sixty billion double dollar bounty, not you." Knives murmured, as some tears flowed down his face.
"Knives……………." Vash whispered, as he carefully hugged his sibling. Knives settled his head against his brother's chest, feeling the security of having a brother to fall back on after so many years of being alone.
"It must be nice having family outside of a wife and kids." Wolfwood's voice said, startling the brothers. Vash grinned as he looked up.
"Well, you could say that Legato is your brother, since you both tend to argue and fight like brothers." Vash suggested, getting a horrified look from both men for a response.
"Hell no!" Wolfwood shouted, putting the Cross Punisher between himself and Legato as he said that.
"I would rather find out my brother is a Thomas, than be a brother to him!" Legato muttered, giving Wolfwood the evil eye while he was at it. This got only laughter from Vash and Knives.
"They do act like brothers, don't they?" Knives asked, very aware that his remark was earning him an almost identical set of deadpan looks from the other two men.
"They do indeed, yet one can't ask for better friends. Let's get home, Meryl, Milly, and Orchid are probably finishing dinner as we speak." Vash said, looking down in surprise when Knives' stomach growled loudly.
"You had to mention food, didn't you?" Knives asked, trying to sound put off, as Vash wrapped some bandages around Knives' head.
"Yeah, Tongari, you dragged us out here only to remind us that we haven't eaten yet, haven't you?" Wolfwood asked, as he leaned on the Cross Punisher and gave Vash a wry look. Knives smiled as Vash said something in response. He could sense that, even though Wolfwood and Legato were a bit uneasy around him, they were still managing to act normal in front of Vash.
"Maybe I could learn to get along. Yet I wonder……………….." Knives thought, then asked, "Vash, who are Meryl and Milly? I think I have an idea as to who Orchid is."
"Meryl is Lee and Grant's mother, and my wife. Milly was Meryl's partner at Bernadelli and is the unofficial 'aunt' of the twins." Vash said, smiling again when Wolfwood added that Milly was his wife.
"Burn a deli? What kind of name is that?" Knives asked, arching an eyebrow in skepticism at the name.
"Long story, Knives. Very long story. Easier to say that insurance girls are the most persistent ones of all." Vash said, as he remembered all that he'd been through.
"I can only imagine." Knives murmured, as Vash helped him stand, then they all made the long trek home, a little more whole than when they had left.
Lee joyfully greeted the four men as they entered the house, not noticing the looks of surprise when he started chattering away to a rather bemused looking Knives.
"And Chatterbox Lee strikes again." Grant muttered, with a longsuffering sigh. This earned him a scowl from Lee.
"Take that back!" Lee shouted, in irritation, as the adults chuckled and shook their heads.
"Yes, they are back to normal. Mr. Knives, do you feel up to eating anything?" Milly asked, surprising Knives with her warmth.
"I suppose so. What's the special tonight?" Knives asked, in turn.
"Meryl and I made some stew, but I think that would be too much for your stomach to handle right now, especially since you haven't eaten anything in six months." Milly said, with her usual common sense.
"Miss, you forget that I am not exactly human. Let me try some of this stew and see if my stomach disagrees." Knives suggested.
"All right, but don't blame me if you get sick." Milly warned, as the men sat down at the table. After the meal was over, and the twins had been sent to bed, Knives sat alone in his room, quietly thinking about all he had seen that first evening of being awake. Yes, humans could be cruel, but they could also be warm and caring, Knives realized, as he'd watched Meryl tuck the twins in and kiss them goodnight.
"Even though you know what they are, you still care about them?" Knives asked, when Meryl had emerged from the twins' room and closed the door behind her.
"How could I not? They're as much my children as they are Vash's. I'm their mother, and I love them dearly." Meryl replied.
"I wonder…………………….I wonder if Rem had ever been asked that? What had she said in response?" Knives mused, as Meryl stood in his doorway, gazing softly at him.
"I think you know the answer to that. Judging from what Vash has been willing to tell me about his past, it sounds like Rem was a very warm and giving person. She thought of others first before herself. She probably would have said something similar." Meryl said, wisely.
"Probably so. Thank you." Knives said. Meryl smiled slightly and nodded, before quietly walking down the hall to hers and Vash's room. As Knives settled in for the night, he was aware of the gentle presence of Orchid in his mind and knew that he would never be entirely alone while in this household. And that was all the comfort he needed.
Author's Note!
Yeah, I know. Knives was so OOC that it wasn't funny, and that it seems (to me) like a lot of rambling, but I needed something that would bridge the gap between 'Deeper than Blood' and the upcoming sequel to it. I hope this wasn't too sappy a read!
Gemini