Kono Do'aho
by Aki Midori
*autumn_wind04@yahoo.com*
Blah, blah, blah!:
Thank you, minna, for those encouraging reviews! This might sound cliche or stupid, but your reviews really make my day. Please keep in mind that each and every single review means a lot to me. I'm very sorry if I haven't been mailing reviewers lately, but please rest assured that I will. I have lots of things to say to you. And also, for the anonymous reviewers, please put your mail address so I'd know how to contact you.
Oh... this whole fic will be based on Sendoh's POV... unless I decided to change my mind.
Thank you!
diSCLaiMers: Bishies aren't mine. I wouldn't mind if they are, though. Rambo isn't my property, too (Thank God.).
-------------------------
Kono Do'aho
Chapter Two: Tips
I'm beginning to think that being a Sakuragi is hard.
So far, I've been involved in a couple of fights with street punks. Thank heavens for my combat skills. I'm a peace lover, though, so I'm not really happy with it. I was just trying to intimidate the punks the way Sakuragi does... and they weren't happy with that. Next thing I know, I was engaged in a pro-wrestling war. Anyway, I emerged as the victor, so there aren't really any problems.
But I realized just now that Sakuragi's skull must be the thickest here in Kanagawa. I mean, how the hell did he manage all those head-butts? I slammed my head on one of the punk's, and boy, were there many stars!
And little birdies, too. Don't forget the little birdies going 'tweet, tweet, tweet!' around my head.
So now, needless to say, I'm here in my room, listening to my best friend's lecture about peace and stupidity and some other bullshit. He's not helping with the lump on my head, too. I mean, he just threw an ice bag squarely on the lump and started with his tirade.
Oh heavens... take pity on my eardrums, please!
"I'm telling you, Akira, this 'Do'aho Operation' of yours is stupid! And how many-"
Blah, blah, blah. And that's 'Operation Do'aho', Mr. Tightass.
"And don't you dare roll your eyes at me-"
You should get laid, Hiro. Get a life! Have fun! Get a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Get a pet, dammit! A dog, or a cat, or an iguana, or a tarantula... whatever! Just get a life, for mercy's sake!
"Since when did you start going out and picking fights? Do you have any idea how-"
"Since when did you start acting like my father?" I teased. "Ne, Hiro, you love me that much?"
Koshino reddened in what seemed like volcanic anger. "I'm trying to straighten up your mind, damn you! Wipe that goofy smile off your goofy face and listen to me!"
"But Hiro, my ears hurt. You talk too much."
Hiro-kun threw me an exasperated room and sighed. He plopped down on my bean bag chair and said, "Akira. I'm telling you. This isn't a good idea. One Sakuragi is enough for Kanagawa. Hell, one Sakuragi is enough for the world! Don't go running around trying to be someone you're not."
"But it's the only way," I argued.
"Says who?"
"Says me."
"You *are* an idiot," Hiro-kun commented. He looked at me for the longest possible time before he finally gave out a resigned sigh. "Fine. Do what you want to do. Looks like you've got to learn the hard way. Just don't say I didn't warn you."
I smiled. "Does that mean you're going to support me?"
Silence.
Then, "Do I have a choice?"
I think I'm the luckiest man alive.
****************
Lemme see. I have this whole plan sorted out. Hiro-kun and I are currently studying my- uh- 'documents'. Scattered all over my table are pictures of the self-proclaimed genius, as well as short articles about his basketball prowess.
Or lack of it.
But anyway, where am I? Oh... the 'documents'.
"To be Sakuragi, you have to be arrogant, rude, conceited and don't forget... stupid," Hiro said. Ooooh, he's such a nice friend, I can't help but smile again. "I don't know much about him. I mean... why should I waste time trying to decipher such a creature? All I know is that you have to be downright moronic if you wanted to be like him."
I blinked. He couldn't be of any help at all! He's too sarcastic for his own good. I was about to say something when my someone knocked on my door. Or rather, pounded on it.
"Hey, don't destroy my door!" I called out as I opened it.
And my jaw dropped.
I couldn't believe it. Standing in front of my door was Sakuragi Hanamichi... with a menacing frown.
"Why, good day, Sakuragi-kun!" I greeted. "What brings you here?"
"What's going on?"
Aaaah... straight to the point.
"What, you think I'm such a god that you have to change your measly ways to imitate this genius? Sakuragi asked. I sweatdropped. This man needed a sharp needle to deflate his ego. He might need Hiro-kun in his life. But I'm sure Rukawa-kun is doing a good job at that already.
"Come on in, Sakuragi-kun," I said while making way for him. He stomped towards the living room and stopped on his tracks when he saw the table.
"I knew it," he said with a cheeky grin. "You idolize me."
"You wish, moron," Hiro snapped. "We're trying to get the stupidest picture and we'll go send it to a pyschic and he'll do some voodoo stuff on you. The earth doesn't need you."
"Oh yeah? And who the hell are you, you prissy-looking substitute player?!" Sakuragi demanded. "Certainly, the world wouldn't need a commoner like you! You're not even of any help in your team, unlike me! Nyahahahaha!"
Hiro-kun lunged for Sakuragi but I stopped him in time. "Nee, Hiro... go home now, would you? We'll continue this some other time."
I realize now that having Hiro-kun and Sakuragi-kun under the same roof is lethal.
Hiro humped and walked away. "Good riddance," he said then turned to me. "If you ever needed advice, go ask *that* nitwit. No one could help you but him. He's the real thing. First class idiot." With that, he walked away before Sakuragi could deliver his infamous head-butt.
"Ch'. Prissy guy," Sakuragi commented. "I wonder how you could put up with him..."
"Heaven gives me the strength," I said. Sakuragi laughed.
"Figures," he said. He looked at the pictures and laughed at the one wherein he was locked in Akagi-san's headlock. "Where did you get these stuff?"
"Hikoichi."
"Oh... the note-taking, 'UNBELIEVABLE!' twerp?" Sakuragi asked, doing an imitation of Hikoichi when he said the 'unbelievable' part. He placed his hands on his cheeks, widened his eyes and rolled his eyes while doing so.
Really. Such an idiot.
But a nice idiot, though. I couldn't help but laugh.
"So, what are you doing with these stuff?" Sakuragi asked once again.
"I'm trying to be you."
"I've figured as much."
And here I thought that this man is the densest on earth.
"To get that kitsune, right?" Sakuragi asked. "You like him, don't you?"
He's actually bright! I nodded vigorously.
"You think that by being me, you'd actually have him?"
Nod.
"So, you're trying to do all these research stuff about me, right?"
Nod.
He was thoughtful for a while.
"You're sure about this plan?"
Nod.
"You're not gonna change your mind?"
"Not until I try this."
Silence... then,
"Want me to help you?"
"Honto?"
"I'd help you!"
"Honto, honto?"
"Yes!" Sakuragi said. "I'd teach you to be me! That Kashine person is right! No one but me could help you!"
"Uh... Sakuragi-kun... that's 'Koshino'."
"Whatever."
Silence. I cleared my throat. "Anou... Sakuragi-kun... you'd actually help me?"
He frowned. "I already told that I would, right?"
"Yes... but why? You want to see me and Rukawa together?"
He actually cackled. "Because the world needs more gorgeous tensais like me! Nyahahaha! And when we've multiplied into a fair number, we'd start planning about world domination! Nyaaaaaaaaahahahaha!!!"
And here I thought that this man actually has a golden heart.
"So... let's start," Sakuragi said, his eyes glinting in determination. I could practically hear him whispering 'world domination' over and over again.
Whoo, boy. What have I gotten myself into?
"Let's start with the posture," Sakuragi said.
Question marks popped out of my head. "Posture?"
"Yes. Tensais like us should never *ever* slouch like that," he said. Then he slapped my back until I got this rigid stance.
"Like this?" I asked. Now, do I look like Rambo or what?
Hasta la vista... baby. *wink* *wink*
Wait... that line's not Rambo's, right? Oh, well... back to work.
He studied me, frowned then nodded. "Yes, that's it. Now... tensais never *walk*. Only commoners do. And since you wanted to be like me, you should never walk like a commoner."
"What do I do, then?"
"You strut. Like this." He puffed out his chest in this macho manner and swayed his arms as he strutted. "Let me see you do that."
I did as he told. I think I might have looked like a duck walking around in panic. He frowned in concentration again then nodded. "Yes, that's fine," he said. "Now... I've heard your tensai laugh before and it's wrong. Very wrong."
Do you have to have a procedure to do that ear-grating cackle? Amazing, really. But I decided to keep quiet. The master speaks...
"When you have to laugh the extraordinary tensai laugh, you have to place your hands on your hips... like this." He demonstrated the motion and gestured for me to follow. He nodded in satisfaction when I did. "Next, you have to puff out your chest like this..." He puffed out his chest and I followed. " Lean back a little. Spread your legs apart..."
"Is this okay?" I asked as I leaned back and spread my legs further.
He shook his head. "Nope... wider," he said and I complied. "That's good. Now... for the laugh. Take a deep breath and cackle. Like this..."
Frankly, I never thought you have to take a deep breath before cackling. But hey, he's the master and I'm just his mere student.
"Nyahahahahaha!" he cackled.
I decided to follow the suit. I followed the procedure, step-by-step, like a perfect student. I took a deep breath...
And cackled.
But it sounded like a strangled coughing spree instead.
Sakuragi-kun 'tsked' and shook his head. "You need to practice more, Smiley. You obviously don't have the inborn talents of a genius."
Yeah right. 'I don't have the inborn talents of a *fool*' should be the better term.
"You should walk with an intimidating aura," he suddenly said. "No more Mr. Smiley. You should frown at commoners. They aren't worth smiling at. And you should be proud of yourself, no matter what. Tell the world of your legendary prowess! Sing the beloved tensai anthem!"
I coughed. "Tensai... anthem?"
"Yes, tensai anthem," Sakuragi said. "You have to sing like this... Ore wa tensai!... insert name, please... Basuketo man..."
And I thought that only Hiro's lectures could torture my ears until they cry.
"Try it, Smiley."
Uh-oh...
"Go on..."
I cleared my throat. "Ore wa tensai! Sen-doh A-ki-ra! Basuketo man..."
Problem is... I'm a good singer. In order for a person to perfect this tensai anthem, one should have the worst voice and the worst beat possible. When I sing the tensai anthem-
"What is that... a ballad? A love song?" Sakuragi demanded. "Practice more."
Yes... the tensai anthem sounded like a ballad when I sang it.
"That's it for today, Smiley," Sakuragi suddenly said. "Someone's waiting for me back home. Now, I want you to practice the tensai laugh and the tensai anthem. We'll continue this tomorrow. At the basketball court near Shohoku High. Be there right after classes, or you'd miss one tensai session."
"I'd be there," I promise. I wonder why this man is helping me. Surely, he's not serious about dominating the world, is he?
"Oh... and you should dye your hair red, too."
I prevented myself from blanching. I wouldn't go *that* far!
... Or would I?
Should I?
"I'll think about it," I croaked. He nodded and walked away.
I walked Sakuragi to the door and bid him good-bye. He just waved his hand and walked away. And then he looked back at me.
"Oi..."
"Nanda?"
"You want that kitsune?" he asked with a cheeky smile.
"I'm in love with him, Sakuragi-kun," I replied. He smiled even more.
"Then you'll have to steal him from me. Do your best."
And with that, he walked away with his hands on his pocket... like the punk that he is.
My knees weakened.
Whoo, boy! What a day!
*********
tsu.zu.ku
*********
Sorry for making Sendoh look like a twit. It'll change... by and by.
Aki ^_~
*runs off with Sakuragi to formulate a plan for world domination*
*gets dragged back and bonked by AxKMLers*
by Aki Midori
*autumn_wind04@yahoo.com*
Blah, blah, blah!:
Thank you, minna, for those encouraging reviews! This might sound cliche or stupid, but your reviews really make my day. Please keep in mind that each and every single review means a lot to me. I'm very sorry if I haven't been mailing reviewers lately, but please rest assured that I will. I have lots of things to say to you. And also, for the anonymous reviewers, please put your mail address so I'd know how to contact you.
Oh... this whole fic will be based on Sendoh's POV... unless I decided to change my mind.
Thank you!
diSCLaiMers: Bishies aren't mine. I wouldn't mind if they are, though. Rambo isn't my property, too (Thank God.).
-------------------------
Kono Do'aho
Chapter Two: Tips
I'm beginning to think that being a Sakuragi is hard.
So far, I've been involved in a couple of fights with street punks. Thank heavens for my combat skills. I'm a peace lover, though, so I'm not really happy with it. I was just trying to intimidate the punks the way Sakuragi does... and they weren't happy with that. Next thing I know, I was engaged in a pro-wrestling war. Anyway, I emerged as the victor, so there aren't really any problems.
But I realized just now that Sakuragi's skull must be the thickest here in Kanagawa. I mean, how the hell did he manage all those head-butts? I slammed my head on one of the punk's, and boy, were there many stars!
And little birdies, too. Don't forget the little birdies going 'tweet, tweet, tweet!' around my head.
So now, needless to say, I'm here in my room, listening to my best friend's lecture about peace and stupidity and some other bullshit. He's not helping with the lump on my head, too. I mean, he just threw an ice bag squarely on the lump and started with his tirade.
Oh heavens... take pity on my eardrums, please!
"I'm telling you, Akira, this 'Do'aho Operation' of yours is stupid! And how many-"
Blah, blah, blah. And that's 'Operation Do'aho', Mr. Tightass.
"And don't you dare roll your eyes at me-"
You should get laid, Hiro. Get a life! Have fun! Get a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Get a pet, dammit! A dog, or a cat, or an iguana, or a tarantula... whatever! Just get a life, for mercy's sake!
"Since when did you start going out and picking fights? Do you have any idea how-"
"Since when did you start acting like my father?" I teased. "Ne, Hiro, you love me that much?"
Koshino reddened in what seemed like volcanic anger. "I'm trying to straighten up your mind, damn you! Wipe that goofy smile off your goofy face and listen to me!"
"But Hiro, my ears hurt. You talk too much."
Hiro-kun threw me an exasperated room and sighed. He plopped down on my bean bag chair and said, "Akira. I'm telling you. This isn't a good idea. One Sakuragi is enough for Kanagawa. Hell, one Sakuragi is enough for the world! Don't go running around trying to be someone you're not."
"But it's the only way," I argued.
"Says who?"
"Says me."
"You *are* an idiot," Hiro-kun commented. He looked at me for the longest possible time before he finally gave out a resigned sigh. "Fine. Do what you want to do. Looks like you've got to learn the hard way. Just don't say I didn't warn you."
I smiled. "Does that mean you're going to support me?"
Silence.
Then, "Do I have a choice?"
I think I'm the luckiest man alive.
****************
Lemme see. I have this whole plan sorted out. Hiro-kun and I are currently studying my- uh- 'documents'. Scattered all over my table are pictures of the self-proclaimed genius, as well as short articles about his basketball prowess.
Or lack of it.
But anyway, where am I? Oh... the 'documents'.
"To be Sakuragi, you have to be arrogant, rude, conceited and don't forget... stupid," Hiro said. Ooooh, he's such a nice friend, I can't help but smile again. "I don't know much about him. I mean... why should I waste time trying to decipher such a creature? All I know is that you have to be downright moronic if you wanted to be like him."
I blinked. He couldn't be of any help at all! He's too sarcastic for his own good. I was about to say something when my someone knocked on my door. Or rather, pounded on it.
"Hey, don't destroy my door!" I called out as I opened it.
And my jaw dropped.
I couldn't believe it. Standing in front of my door was Sakuragi Hanamichi... with a menacing frown.
"Why, good day, Sakuragi-kun!" I greeted. "What brings you here?"
"What's going on?"
Aaaah... straight to the point.
"What, you think I'm such a god that you have to change your measly ways to imitate this genius? Sakuragi asked. I sweatdropped. This man needed a sharp needle to deflate his ego. He might need Hiro-kun in his life. But I'm sure Rukawa-kun is doing a good job at that already.
"Come on in, Sakuragi-kun," I said while making way for him. He stomped towards the living room and stopped on his tracks when he saw the table.
"I knew it," he said with a cheeky grin. "You idolize me."
"You wish, moron," Hiro snapped. "We're trying to get the stupidest picture and we'll go send it to a pyschic and he'll do some voodoo stuff on you. The earth doesn't need you."
"Oh yeah? And who the hell are you, you prissy-looking substitute player?!" Sakuragi demanded. "Certainly, the world wouldn't need a commoner like you! You're not even of any help in your team, unlike me! Nyahahahaha!"
Hiro-kun lunged for Sakuragi but I stopped him in time. "Nee, Hiro... go home now, would you? We'll continue this some other time."
I realize now that having Hiro-kun and Sakuragi-kun under the same roof is lethal.
Hiro humped and walked away. "Good riddance," he said then turned to me. "If you ever needed advice, go ask *that* nitwit. No one could help you but him. He's the real thing. First class idiot." With that, he walked away before Sakuragi could deliver his infamous head-butt.
"Ch'. Prissy guy," Sakuragi commented. "I wonder how you could put up with him..."
"Heaven gives me the strength," I said. Sakuragi laughed.
"Figures," he said. He looked at the pictures and laughed at the one wherein he was locked in Akagi-san's headlock. "Where did you get these stuff?"
"Hikoichi."
"Oh... the note-taking, 'UNBELIEVABLE!' twerp?" Sakuragi asked, doing an imitation of Hikoichi when he said the 'unbelievable' part. He placed his hands on his cheeks, widened his eyes and rolled his eyes while doing so.
Really. Such an idiot.
But a nice idiot, though. I couldn't help but laugh.
"So, what are you doing with these stuff?" Sakuragi asked once again.
"I'm trying to be you."
"I've figured as much."
And here I thought that this man is the densest on earth.
"To get that kitsune, right?" Sakuragi asked. "You like him, don't you?"
He's actually bright! I nodded vigorously.
"You think that by being me, you'd actually have him?"
Nod.
"So, you're trying to do all these research stuff about me, right?"
Nod.
He was thoughtful for a while.
"You're sure about this plan?"
Nod.
"You're not gonna change your mind?"
"Not until I try this."
Silence... then,
"Want me to help you?"
"Honto?"
"I'd help you!"
"Honto, honto?"
"Yes!" Sakuragi said. "I'd teach you to be me! That Kashine person is right! No one but me could help you!"
"Uh... Sakuragi-kun... that's 'Koshino'."
"Whatever."
Silence. I cleared my throat. "Anou... Sakuragi-kun... you'd actually help me?"
He frowned. "I already told that I would, right?"
"Yes... but why? You want to see me and Rukawa together?"
He actually cackled. "Because the world needs more gorgeous tensais like me! Nyahahaha! And when we've multiplied into a fair number, we'd start planning about world domination! Nyaaaaaaaaahahahaha!!!"
And here I thought that this man actually has a golden heart.
"So... let's start," Sakuragi said, his eyes glinting in determination. I could practically hear him whispering 'world domination' over and over again.
Whoo, boy. What have I gotten myself into?
"Let's start with the posture," Sakuragi said.
Question marks popped out of my head. "Posture?"
"Yes. Tensais like us should never *ever* slouch like that," he said. Then he slapped my back until I got this rigid stance.
"Like this?" I asked. Now, do I look like Rambo or what?
Hasta la vista... baby. *wink* *wink*
Wait... that line's not Rambo's, right? Oh, well... back to work.
He studied me, frowned then nodded. "Yes, that's it. Now... tensais never *walk*. Only commoners do. And since you wanted to be like me, you should never walk like a commoner."
"What do I do, then?"
"You strut. Like this." He puffed out his chest in this macho manner and swayed his arms as he strutted. "Let me see you do that."
I did as he told. I think I might have looked like a duck walking around in panic. He frowned in concentration again then nodded. "Yes, that's fine," he said. "Now... I've heard your tensai laugh before and it's wrong. Very wrong."
Do you have to have a procedure to do that ear-grating cackle? Amazing, really. But I decided to keep quiet. The master speaks...
"When you have to laugh the extraordinary tensai laugh, you have to place your hands on your hips... like this." He demonstrated the motion and gestured for me to follow. He nodded in satisfaction when I did. "Next, you have to puff out your chest like this..." He puffed out his chest and I followed. " Lean back a little. Spread your legs apart..."
"Is this okay?" I asked as I leaned back and spread my legs further.
He shook his head. "Nope... wider," he said and I complied. "That's good. Now... for the laugh. Take a deep breath and cackle. Like this..."
Frankly, I never thought you have to take a deep breath before cackling. But hey, he's the master and I'm just his mere student.
"Nyahahahahaha!" he cackled.
I decided to follow the suit. I followed the procedure, step-by-step, like a perfect student. I took a deep breath...
And cackled.
But it sounded like a strangled coughing spree instead.
Sakuragi-kun 'tsked' and shook his head. "You need to practice more, Smiley. You obviously don't have the inborn talents of a genius."
Yeah right. 'I don't have the inborn talents of a *fool*' should be the better term.
"You should walk with an intimidating aura," he suddenly said. "No more Mr. Smiley. You should frown at commoners. They aren't worth smiling at. And you should be proud of yourself, no matter what. Tell the world of your legendary prowess! Sing the beloved tensai anthem!"
I coughed. "Tensai... anthem?"
"Yes, tensai anthem," Sakuragi said. "You have to sing like this... Ore wa tensai!... insert name, please... Basuketo man..."
And I thought that only Hiro's lectures could torture my ears until they cry.
"Try it, Smiley."
Uh-oh...
"Go on..."
I cleared my throat. "Ore wa tensai! Sen-doh A-ki-ra! Basuketo man..."
Problem is... I'm a good singer. In order for a person to perfect this tensai anthem, one should have the worst voice and the worst beat possible. When I sing the tensai anthem-
"What is that... a ballad? A love song?" Sakuragi demanded. "Practice more."
Yes... the tensai anthem sounded like a ballad when I sang it.
"That's it for today, Smiley," Sakuragi suddenly said. "Someone's waiting for me back home. Now, I want you to practice the tensai laugh and the tensai anthem. We'll continue this tomorrow. At the basketball court near Shohoku High. Be there right after classes, or you'd miss one tensai session."
"I'd be there," I promise. I wonder why this man is helping me. Surely, he's not serious about dominating the world, is he?
"Oh... and you should dye your hair red, too."
I prevented myself from blanching. I wouldn't go *that* far!
... Or would I?
Should I?
"I'll think about it," I croaked. He nodded and walked away.
I walked Sakuragi to the door and bid him good-bye. He just waved his hand and walked away. And then he looked back at me.
"Oi..."
"Nanda?"
"You want that kitsune?" he asked with a cheeky smile.
"I'm in love with him, Sakuragi-kun," I replied. He smiled even more.
"Then you'll have to steal him from me. Do your best."
And with that, he walked away with his hands on his pocket... like the punk that he is.
My knees weakened.
Whoo, boy! What a day!
*********
tsu.zu.ku
*********
Sorry for making Sendoh look like a twit. It'll change... by and by.
Aki ^_~
*runs off with Sakuragi to formulate a plan for world domination*
*gets dragged back and bonked by AxKMLers*