A/N-Know what? I'm not even gonna bother this time. Oh wait . . .one
thing. This chapter is definitely PG-13 for attempted rape and mild
swearing.
The Officer's Club is packed with personnel. It's Frank's turn, and as he comes on stage, he spots Margaret in the audience, slowly fanning herself. He motions to Father Mulcahy to start the music. (A/N-I don't know the words to "I've Got You Under My Skin", so no subtitles. 'Kay? 'Kay.) Trapper is listening to Frank sing, and the suspicion is starting to show on his face. He turns and quietly leaves the Officer's Club, looking for the real Hawkeye.
"HAWKEYE? HAWK, WHERE ARE YA?"
The scene cuts to the Supply Tent, where Hawkeye is still ramming his body against the door. Exhausted, he slides to the floor.
"GOD DAMN IT . . .FRANK'S A NUT. MARGARET WILL BE ABLE TO SEE RIGHT THROUGH HIM!"
Back at the Officer's Club, it's apparent that Margaret has completely fallen for Frank's disguise. As the song ends, she makes her way to the stage and Frank lifts her up. She gives him a quick kiss.
"OH, CAPTAIN PIERCE . . .YOU ARE JUST THE MOST . . ."
Margaret trails off as she looks at his face. The moustache is painted on, and some paint is on Margaret's face. She narrows her eyes.
"WHAT THE HE . . .AAAHHHH!"
Margaret screams as Frank takes his disguise off, picks Margaret up, and carries her to the Minefield. Trapper, still looking for Hawkeye, hears her scream.
"I KNEW IT!"
Trap then hears yelling coming from inside the Supply Tent. He unlocks the door, and finds a bruised and banged-up Hawkeye. Hawk's face lights up.
"THANK GOD! WE GOTTA STOP FRANK! HERE, UNTIE ME, QUICK!"
Trapper gets to work. Meanwhile, Frank and Margaret are in the middle of the Minefield, where Margaret's hands and feet are bound. Frank laughs.
"THERE'S NO USE TRYING TO ESCAPE, MY SWEET! EVEN IF YOU DO MANAGE TO GET UNTIED, YOU DON'T KNOW THE WAY AROUND THE MINEFIELD. ONE STEP, AND YOU'LL BE BLOWN TO BITS!"
Margaret's eyes widen, and she screams even louder. Frank prepares to . . .well, you know. She struggles fiercely as we cut to just outside the Supply Tent. Hawkeye, now completely untied and dressed, runs to where the screams are coming from. As he nears, he sees Frank, shirt off, undoing Margaret's corset. Anger spreads across his face.
"DAMN IT, FRANK! WHAT THE HELL D'YA THINK YOU'RE DOING?"
Hawkeye breaks into a run, holding his fist out. He runs right into Frank, slamming his fist into his stomach. Frank closes his eyes and faints. Hawk unties Margaret, and they are about to kiss, when suddenly . . .
"NOT SO FAST, PIERCE! MARGARET'S MINE!"
Frank is back up, and has revealed a gun. He points it straight at Hawkeye's heart.
"ONE WRONG MOVE, AND ITS GOODBYE!"
Margaret clings to Hawkeye's arm as he glares at Frank. Hawk suddenly gets an idea, seeing a certain somebody coming up behind Frank. He grabs Margaret and pulls her towards Frank.
"I'M SORRY. SERVES ME RIGHT, GOING AGAINST A MAJOR'S ORDERS."
Margaret is understandably confused, but Frank grins and grabs Margaret's hand. He holds her close, still pointing the gun at Hawkeye. Hawk looks just beyond Frank's head, and winks at the person behind him. Frank is about to pull the trigger, when Radar, yes, Radar, conks him on the head with a clipboard. Frank drops the gun, which Radar picks up and throws into the bushes. He turns to Hawkeye and Margaret and grins sheepishly.
"UH . . .I KNOW I DROPPED CHARACTER THERE, BUT FERRET FACE WAS REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVES. I MEAN REALLY!"
Hawk and Margaret happily embrace, and cautiously walk through the Minefield, leaving Frank there. Hawkeye turns to Margaret, and Radar shields his eyes with the clipboard, knowing what's about to happen. Hawk and Margaret look deep into each other's eyes, and their lips touch in a passionate kiss. One more subtitle comes up.
THE END
"Hawkeye? Hey, Hawk. Rise and shine!"
The Officer's Club is packed with personnel. It's Frank's turn, and as he comes on stage, he spots Margaret in the audience, slowly fanning herself. He motions to Father Mulcahy to start the music. (A/N-I don't know the words to "I've Got You Under My Skin", so no subtitles. 'Kay? 'Kay.) Trapper is listening to Frank sing, and the suspicion is starting to show on his face. He turns and quietly leaves the Officer's Club, looking for the real Hawkeye.
"HAWKEYE? HAWK, WHERE ARE YA?"
The scene cuts to the Supply Tent, where Hawkeye is still ramming his body against the door. Exhausted, he slides to the floor.
"GOD DAMN IT . . .FRANK'S A NUT. MARGARET WILL BE ABLE TO SEE RIGHT THROUGH HIM!"
Back at the Officer's Club, it's apparent that Margaret has completely fallen for Frank's disguise. As the song ends, she makes her way to the stage and Frank lifts her up. She gives him a quick kiss.
"OH, CAPTAIN PIERCE . . .YOU ARE JUST THE MOST . . ."
Margaret trails off as she looks at his face. The moustache is painted on, and some paint is on Margaret's face. She narrows her eyes.
"WHAT THE HE . . .AAAHHHH!"
Margaret screams as Frank takes his disguise off, picks Margaret up, and carries her to the Minefield. Trapper, still looking for Hawkeye, hears her scream.
"I KNEW IT!"
Trap then hears yelling coming from inside the Supply Tent. He unlocks the door, and finds a bruised and banged-up Hawkeye. Hawk's face lights up.
"THANK GOD! WE GOTTA STOP FRANK! HERE, UNTIE ME, QUICK!"
Trapper gets to work. Meanwhile, Frank and Margaret are in the middle of the Minefield, where Margaret's hands and feet are bound. Frank laughs.
"THERE'S NO USE TRYING TO ESCAPE, MY SWEET! EVEN IF YOU DO MANAGE TO GET UNTIED, YOU DON'T KNOW THE WAY AROUND THE MINEFIELD. ONE STEP, AND YOU'LL BE BLOWN TO BITS!"
Margaret's eyes widen, and she screams even louder. Frank prepares to . . .well, you know. She struggles fiercely as we cut to just outside the Supply Tent. Hawkeye, now completely untied and dressed, runs to where the screams are coming from. As he nears, he sees Frank, shirt off, undoing Margaret's corset. Anger spreads across his face.
"DAMN IT, FRANK! WHAT THE HELL D'YA THINK YOU'RE DOING?"
Hawkeye breaks into a run, holding his fist out. He runs right into Frank, slamming his fist into his stomach. Frank closes his eyes and faints. Hawk unties Margaret, and they are about to kiss, when suddenly . . .
"NOT SO FAST, PIERCE! MARGARET'S MINE!"
Frank is back up, and has revealed a gun. He points it straight at Hawkeye's heart.
"ONE WRONG MOVE, AND ITS GOODBYE!"
Margaret clings to Hawkeye's arm as he glares at Frank. Hawk suddenly gets an idea, seeing a certain somebody coming up behind Frank. He grabs Margaret and pulls her towards Frank.
"I'M SORRY. SERVES ME RIGHT, GOING AGAINST A MAJOR'S ORDERS."
Margaret is understandably confused, but Frank grins and grabs Margaret's hand. He holds her close, still pointing the gun at Hawkeye. Hawk looks just beyond Frank's head, and winks at the person behind him. Frank is about to pull the trigger, when Radar, yes, Radar, conks him on the head with a clipboard. Frank drops the gun, which Radar picks up and throws into the bushes. He turns to Hawkeye and Margaret and grins sheepishly.
"UH . . .I KNOW I DROPPED CHARACTER THERE, BUT FERRET FACE WAS REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVES. I MEAN REALLY!"
Hawk and Margaret happily embrace, and cautiously walk through the Minefield, leaving Frank there. Hawkeye turns to Margaret, and Radar shields his eyes with the clipboard, knowing what's about to happen. Hawk and Margaret look deep into each other's eyes, and their lips touch in a passionate kiss. One more subtitle comes up.
THE END
"Hawkeye? Hey, Hawk. Rise and shine!"