NB: Same as before. I don't own Cowboy Bebop or anything else of worth. I used to have a dollar, but I bought a donut.
After some thought, I have come to realize that I don't like Julia. At all. Faye's the best, and I think she and Spike deserve each other. Amen.
Please excuse any errors I missed while editing. I apologize.
**
Recovery: The Cold Room.
**
"Are you giving your notice now?"
"Spike-Person's alive!" Ed sang joyfully.
"Shut up, Ed," Faye said, no conviction in her voice. "Yes, I'm here to give my notice," she said to the camera, a wave of defeat flooding over her and hot tears spilling down her face.
No reply came from the speaker, and for a moment, Faye thought that something was wrong. She didn't bother to wipe the tears off her cheeks as she stared at the door expectantly.
Both Ed and Faye started when a loud click and grind sounded from behind the door. They jumped back and were greeted with frigid air as the door hissed open revealing a bored looking man with a Roman collar. He regarded Faye's tear stained face and a minute look of compassion crossed his features.
"I'm sorry for your loss."
Faye thought he sounded as though he had said it a million times. She simply nodded, finally wiping her tears with the back of her hand.
"If you would follow me," the priest gestured. "There is a lot of paper work to be filled out."
Grabbing Ed by the scruff of her tank top, Faye dragged her as she followed the priest through the door and down a very narrow set of stairs. //Does this mean he's still in the morgue? They didn't even bury or cremate him?\\ Faye released Ed when she felt the girl grab the back of her shirt. Looking down, Faye saw a look of fascination on Ed's face as the girl looked ahead of her.
They passed through a dimly lit stone corridor and through double swinging doors. Faye was surprised to find herself in a bare reception area, where she saw several priests, men and women alike, going about menial tasks. Some stood behind the reception desk typing or speaking madly at their computers, while some filed papers or rolled chemical laden carts through. Everything was a blinding white or stainless steal, except for the priests themselves, who wore only black. Faye shivered.
Faye and Ed were then led aside into a large office, where the priest told them to sit.
"Someone will be with your shortly," he said, turning to leave and shutting the door behind him.
Faye immediately sank down into one of the chairs, which was thankfully as soft as it looked. Before her was a large mahogany desk, bare of any paper or ornament. On the wall behind it was a single door, a gruesome depiction of the crucified Christ hanging above it.
"Ed doesn't like this place. It's cold."
Faye looked over at Ed, who had claimed the chair next to her, sitting Indian style and rubbing her arms. She looked miserable.
"Let's get Spike-Person and go."
Faye thought she felt a sudden wave of empathy for the girl, and reached over to touch her shoulder sadly.
"Ed-
"Warm," Ed murmured, leaning into Faye's hand. Then, much to Faye's chagrin, Ed leapt from her seat and landed with a thud in Faye's lap. Faye felt like she was holding an ice cube.
"You know, you could at least wear some socks when you go out," Faye hissed, trying to pull Ed's arms from around her neck. She froze when the door behind the desk slid open and a tall figure sauntered through.
"They tell me you're here for a Spike Spiegel." The figure, a woman as tall, if not taller than Spike himself, never looked up from her paper as she addressed Faye. She had a shock of short white hair, and when she finally looked up after seating herself, old wizened eyes stared at Faye. Faye nearly gasped in surprise, for despite the woman's white hair and old eyes, her skin looked as young and smooth as Faye's own, and her figure was lithe and athletic. //A genetically engineered holy woman? Next they'll be telling me Spike is alive.\\ The thought nearly made Faye cry again.
"My name is Krai Dett. I run this Death House for the Catholic and non-Catholic alike. I am also the parish 'pastor', if you will, for Our Lady of Sorrows. Though I admit, the world of Papal dominance died long ago." The woman paused long enough to open her desk, retrieve a pack of cigarettes, and offering one to Faye, she lit one herself. "Are you the wife and child then?"
Faye stiffened at the suggestion. She looked down to see Ed's toothy grin and shoved the girl off her lap angrily.
"I see," Krai said, an amused expression on her face. She tugged at her Roman collar and puffed lightly on her cigarette. "Then what do you want with him?"
"I-I..." Faye stammered, thinking she might crack under the strain of having to say the words. "I came to get his remains." She felt her lip tremble.
"I see," Krai said again. She reached into her desk and pulled out an ashtray. Taking a final drag, she stubbed the cigarette. "That is going to be...difficult."
Faye was confused. She looked over at Ed who had draped herself over the other chair in a dramatic pose. When she turned her attention back to Krai, the woman had propped her sneakered feet up on the desk and had lit another cigarette.
"What do you mean, difficult?" Faye asked. She didn't mind having to do the paper work, and she could get Jet's help with the police check, but what else was there?
"Three things," Krai stated, holding up three fingers. "First," she ticked the first finger, "Paper work. You know that. Second," she ticked the second finger, "Police check, and you know that too. Depending on your background, it could be painless, or it could be impossible. But hey," Krai shrugged, smirking slightly, "I was never one to pass judgment."
"And the third thing?" Faye felt a headache coming on, and she didn't know how much longer she'd be able to hold back her tears.
"Third," Krai continued, ticking off the third finger, "there is the problem of not having any remains belonging to a Spike Spiegel."
"What?" Faye hissed, bolting up, fingernails digging into the arms of the chair. Her head whipped around and she glared bloody murder at Ed.
"Ed TOLD you that Spike-Person is alive," Ed sang, sticking her tongue out.
"You little shit!" Faye shouted, lunging at Ed. "First you tell me he's alive, and I was stupid enough to take you all the way out here just to find out he's dead. And NOW, I find out he's dead somewhere else, and you have the nerve to tell me he's still alive?"
Faye caught a hold of a shrieking Ed, and holding her up by the scruff of her shirt, Faye shook and swore her. But the sound of the holy woman's voice caused both of them to fall silent.
"Oh, he's alive all right."
"What?" Faye breathed, dropping a stunned Ed to the ground. "What did you say?" She suddenly felt light headed and dropped back down into her seat. //My God, Spike...you're alive.\\
"He was comatose until yesterday at noon. I don't know the man's past, or how he ended up like he did, but I didn't think he'd make it. And for some reason, I don't think he would be entirely pleased if I were to incinerate or embalm him now just so that you can have his remains."
Faye didn't know what to say. //He's alive...\\
"So naturally, without your name or the nature of your relationship with this man, there isn't much more I can do for you. It does seem rather strange to me that a man with no identification arrives at my morgue, ALIVE no less, and beat to shit."
Faye's eyes widened momentarily at the holy woman's language. //Are they allowed to swear?\\
" It is stranger that no one comes looking for him for over three months. When someone does show up, it is in the form of two young women with violent tendencies. One who remains nameless, and the other who calls herself..." Krai cocked an eyebrow at Ed. "Ed?"
"Edward Wang Hau Pepelu Tivrusky the Fourth," Ed offered in a matter-of-factly manner.
"Indeed," Krai smirked. Her eyes moved back to Faye. "And you?"
"She's Faye-Faye!" Ed shouted gleefully, bounding back into her chair. Using the armrests as support, she stood on her hands.
"My name is Faye Valentine. Ed and I are Spike's crewmates. We-
"Ah!" Krai interrupted, a sparkle in her eye. "Now that changes EVERYTHING!"
At first, Faye thought the holy woman was being sarcastic. But the way she jumped up from her desk and motioned for Ed and Faye to follow her, quickly changed her mind.
"You should have said so earlier."
"I-I don't understand," Faye stammered, getting up out of her seat unsteadily.
"I'll explain on the way," Krai replied, opening the door. "Grab Edward Woo Hep Pepe-le-Piu Whatever and I'll take you to him." She ushered Faye, who was dragging Ed, through the door.
"God knows, I've been hoping for a very long time that you would show up for him."
**
Despite the brisk pace Krai set, the journey through the cold, dark hallways took some time. The holy woman spoke the entire time.
"As I said before, I didn't think he'd make it. I had to extract the bullets that didn't pass clean through. He was also either hit very hard, or he fell on his face. Either way, he had a nasty fracture on his right cheek. It's healed nicely though. Can't even tell. His right forearm was fractured in two places, but that too seems to have healed nicely. Then there is the question of the gash on his abdomen. If anything should have killed him, it was that. That hasn't healed as well as I hoped. I imagine it will cause him pain for some time."
"Are you a doctor?" Faye asked, suddenly wondering how Spike could be treated in a place like this. Would they treat him right alongside the dead? Faye felt sick.
"Doctor-Priest! Munchie Feast! Ed thinks Faye-Faye's a beast!"
"I am, among other things. I supervised his treatment personally. I must say I'm relieved. The man had no will to live. I had to resuscitate him 6 times. If he had gone a seventh, I would have let him go."
Faye was shocked. Spike had no will to live? Sure, he was careless, but Faye never would have imagined him as hating life. But then again, after Julia-
"I was beginning to lose hope again," Krai continued. "I didn't think he would remain unconscious for so long."
"Is he..." Faye started. "Is he-
"Is he sensible?" The holy woman laughed. "He was this morning. Bitching about how he wanted a cigarette."
Faye almost smiled.
"But Doctor Krai-"
"Mother Krai, if you will." She turned to Faye, tugging at her collar again. "Faith before medicine."
The holy woman stopped, and Faye realized that they had reached their destination. Ed, failing to pay attention, walked into Faye.
"Where are we?" Ed asked for both her and Faye.
"When the goings get tough, we use this area as a free clinic. Mr. Spiegel is our first patient in years." She moved to open the door, but Faye stopped her.
"Why did you say that you were hoping I would come?"
Krai smiled slightly at Faye's momentarily pleading eyes. //She tries so hard to mask her feelings. But she's betrayed herself far to many times for me to hold back now.\\
"An unconscious man reveals many things, Ms. Valentine," Krai started, leaning casually against the door. "If in consciousness a man claims to be fearless, in his sleep he will reveal his fears. If he claims to be indifferent, he will reveal his passions. If he claims to be hateful, he will reveal his love."
"Spike-Person will say that he loves Faye-Faye!"
"I don't understand," Faye replied, clamping a hand over Ed's mouth. A growing lump formed in her throat.
"In three and a half months, Mr. Spiegel weaved in and out of comas, but he never truly regained consciousness. We could tell when he came out of a coma because he would be responding to the previously unmedicated pain. During these times he would say a name..."
"My name?" Faye asked, hopeful and horrified at the same time. She immediately cursed herself for sounding so eager.
"No, my dear. I would pray that you never showed up at my door if he had said your name the way he said hers..."
"Julia..." Faye whispered, feeling her heart sink.
"The heartbreaker," Krai agreed, nodding sadly.
"You knew her then?"
"I was director for her funeral. I buried her."
"He loved her," Faye explained sadly. "It makes sense that he would say her name.
"It was full of anguish. Almost painful to hear. As if the very act of saying it caused more pain than his injuries. He may have loved her, but like I said...the unconsciousness of a man reveals things otherwise unknown. I won't pretend to not know what Julia was." Her voice suddenly became bitter. "She was a syndicate bitch, like so many other women I have buried over the years. Hearing Mr. Spiegel say her name made me think that perhaps he's not as innocent as his sleeping face suggests. But if he was involved in such things, it makes no difference now."
Faye wasn't sure she understood, but she also wasn't sure if she wanted to understand.
"But what does this have to do with me?" she asked.
"It has a lot to do with you," Krai replied. "He always spoke Julia's name when he was in pain. Once we drugged him and he began to drift off again, the peacefulness reappeared on his face. This is when he said your name."
At first, Faye was silent. Her heart beat wildly. //He said my name...\\. And yet...
"He said my name while he was high on morphine?" Faye could not hide the bitterness in her voice. "That's really great."
Faye was annoyed at the sound of the holy woman's light laughter.
"Perhaps not, Ms. Valentine. But the way I see it, he was going to a better place. He felt good, and he was taking you with him."
Faye stopped breathing. She hadn't thought of it like that. //He...He was taking me with him...to a better place..\\
She was startled back into awareness by Ed, who bit the hand Faye still held over her mouth. Faye was too shocked at Krai's words to retaliate.
"And if it makes you feel any better, he only said Julia's name 16 times. Our medical equipment records audio output from our patients."
"16 times?" Faye wasn't sure if that was good or bad.
Krai winked at her, finally reaching for the door handle to Spike's door.
"I believe the final score was 34-16. In favour of Faye Valentine." She waived them in. "No monkey business."
With that, Krai left, shutting the door behind her. Faye and Ed were left alone to reunite with Spike.
Faye thought she was going to faint.
"See? Ed told Faye-Faye that Spike-Person was still alive!"
**
PLEASE REVIEW! I promise that this is the last of the introductory chapters. Next chapter will be getting down to business.
After some thought, I have come to realize that I don't like Julia. At all. Faye's the best, and I think she and Spike deserve each other. Amen.
Please excuse any errors I missed while editing. I apologize.
**
Recovery: The Cold Room.
**
"Are you giving your notice now?"
"Spike-Person's alive!" Ed sang joyfully.
"Shut up, Ed," Faye said, no conviction in her voice. "Yes, I'm here to give my notice," she said to the camera, a wave of defeat flooding over her and hot tears spilling down her face.
No reply came from the speaker, and for a moment, Faye thought that something was wrong. She didn't bother to wipe the tears off her cheeks as she stared at the door expectantly.
Both Ed and Faye started when a loud click and grind sounded from behind the door. They jumped back and were greeted with frigid air as the door hissed open revealing a bored looking man with a Roman collar. He regarded Faye's tear stained face and a minute look of compassion crossed his features.
"I'm sorry for your loss."
Faye thought he sounded as though he had said it a million times. She simply nodded, finally wiping her tears with the back of her hand.
"If you would follow me," the priest gestured. "There is a lot of paper work to be filled out."
Grabbing Ed by the scruff of her tank top, Faye dragged her as she followed the priest through the door and down a very narrow set of stairs. //Does this mean he's still in the morgue? They didn't even bury or cremate him?\\ Faye released Ed when she felt the girl grab the back of her shirt. Looking down, Faye saw a look of fascination on Ed's face as the girl looked ahead of her.
They passed through a dimly lit stone corridor and through double swinging doors. Faye was surprised to find herself in a bare reception area, where she saw several priests, men and women alike, going about menial tasks. Some stood behind the reception desk typing or speaking madly at their computers, while some filed papers or rolled chemical laden carts through. Everything was a blinding white or stainless steal, except for the priests themselves, who wore only black. Faye shivered.
Faye and Ed were then led aside into a large office, where the priest told them to sit.
"Someone will be with your shortly," he said, turning to leave and shutting the door behind him.
Faye immediately sank down into one of the chairs, which was thankfully as soft as it looked. Before her was a large mahogany desk, bare of any paper or ornament. On the wall behind it was a single door, a gruesome depiction of the crucified Christ hanging above it.
"Ed doesn't like this place. It's cold."
Faye looked over at Ed, who had claimed the chair next to her, sitting Indian style and rubbing her arms. She looked miserable.
"Let's get Spike-Person and go."
Faye thought she felt a sudden wave of empathy for the girl, and reached over to touch her shoulder sadly.
"Ed-
"Warm," Ed murmured, leaning into Faye's hand. Then, much to Faye's chagrin, Ed leapt from her seat and landed with a thud in Faye's lap. Faye felt like she was holding an ice cube.
"You know, you could at least wear some socks when you go out," Faye hissed, trying to pull Ed's arms from around her neck. She froze when the door behind the desk slid open and a tall figure sauntered through.
"They tell me you're here for a Spike Spiegel." The figure, a woman as tall, if not taller than Spike himself, never looked up from her paper as she addressed Faye. She had a shock of short white hair, and when she finally looked up after seating herself, old wizened eyes stared at Faye. Faye nearly gasped in surprise, for despite the woman's white hair and old eyes, her skin looked as young and smooth as Faye's own, and her figure was lithe and athletic. //A genetically engineered holy woman? Next they'll be telling me Spike is alive.\\ The thought nearly made Faye cry again.
"My name is Krai Dett. I run this Death House for the Catholic and non-Catholic alike. I am also the parish 'pastor', if you will, for Our Lady of Sorrows. Though I admit, the world of Papal dominance died long ago." The woman paused long enough to open her desk, retrieve a pack of cigarettes, and offering one to Faye, she lit one herself. "Are you the wife and child then?"
Faye stiffened at the suggestion. She looked down to see Ed's toothy grin and shoved the girl off her lap angrily.
"I see," Krai said, an amused expression on her face. She tugged at her Roman collar and puffed lightly on her cigarette. "Then what do you want with him?"
"I-I..." Faye stammered, thinking she might crack under the strain of having to say the words. "I came to get his remains." She felt her lip tremble.
"I see," Krai said again. She reached into her desk and pulled out an ashtray. Taking a final drag, she stubbed the cigarette. "That is going to be...difficult."
Faye was confused. She looked over at Ed who had draped herself over the other chair in a dramatic pose. When she turned her attention back to Krai, the woman had propped her sneakered feet up on the desk and had lit another cigarette.
"What do you mean, difficult?" Faye asked. She didn't mind having to do the paper work, and she could get Jet's help with the police check, but what else was there?
"Three things," Krai stated, holding up three fingers. "First," she ticked the first finger, "Paper work. You know that. Second," she ticked the second finger, "Police check, and you know that too. Depending on your background, it could be painless, or it could be impossible. But hey," Krai shrugged, smirking slightly, "I was never one to pass judgment."
"And the third thing?" Faye felt a headache coming on, and she didn't know how much longer she'd be able to hold back her tears.
"Third," Krai continued, ticking off the third finger, "there is the problem of not having any remains belonging to a Spike Spiegel."
"What?" Faye hissed, bolting up, fingernails digging into the arms of the chair. Her head whipped around and she glared bloody murder at Ed.
"Ed TOLD you that Spike-Person is alive," Ed sang, sticking her tongue out.
"You little shit!" Faye shouted, lunging at Ed. "First you tell me he's alive, and I was stupid enough to take you all the way out here just to find out he's dead. And NOW, I find out he's dead somewhere else, and you have the nerve to tell me he's still alive?"
Faye caught a hold of a shrieking Ed, and holding her up by the scruff of her shirt, Faye shook and swore her. But the sound of the holy woman's voice caused both of them to fall silent.
"Oh, he's alive all right."
"What?" Faye breathed, dropping a stunned Ed to the ground. "What did you say?" She suddenly felt light headed and dropped back down into her seat. //My God, Spike...you're alive.\\
"He was comatose until yesterday at noon. I don't know the man's past, or how he ended up like he did, but I didn't think he'd make it. And for some reason, I don't think he would be entirely pleased if I were to incinerate or embalm him now just so that you can have his remains."
Faye didn't know what to say. //He's alive...\\
"So naturally, without your name or the nature of your relationship with this man, there isn't much more I can do for you. It does seem rather strange to me that a man with no identification arrives at my morgue, ALIVE no less, and beat to shit."
Faye's eyes widened momentarily at the holy woman's language. //Are they allowed to swear?\\
" It is stranger that no one comes looking for him for over three months. When someone does show up, it is in the form of two young women with violent tendencies. One who remains nameless, and the other who calls herself..." Krai cocked an eyebrow at Ed. "Ed?"
"Edward Wang Hau Pepelu Tivrusky the Fourth," Ed offered in a matter-of-factly manner.
"Indeed," Krai smirked. Her eyes moved back to Faye. "And you?"
"She's Faye-Faye!" Ed shouted gleefully, bounding back into her chair. Using the armrests as support, she stood on her hands.
"My name is Faye Valentine. Ed and I are Spike's crewmates. We-
"Ah!" Krai interrupted, a sparkle in her eye. "Now that changes EVERYTHING!"
At first, Faye thought the holy woman was being sarcastic. But the way she jumped up from her desk and motioned for Ed and Faye to follow her, quickly changed her mind.
"You should have said so earlier."
"I-I don't understand," Faye stammered, getting up out of her seat unsteadily.
"I'll explain on the way," Krai replied, opening the door. "Grab Edward Woo Hep Pepe-le-Piu Whatever and I'll take you to him." She ushered Faye, who was dragging Ed, through the door.
"God knows, I've been hoping for a very long time that you would show up for him."
**
Despite the brisk pace Krai set, the journey through the cold, dark hallways took some time. The holy woman spoke the entire time.
"As I said before, I didn't think he'd make it. I had to extract the bullets that didn't pass clean through. He was also either hit very hard, or he fell on his face. Either way, he had a nasty fracture on his right cheek. It's healed nicely though. Can't even tell. His right forearm was fractured in two places, but that too seems to have healed nicely. Then there is the question of the gash on his abdomen. If anything should have killed him, it was that. That hasn't healed as well as I hoped. I imagine it will cause him pain for some time."
"Are you a doctor?" Faye asked, suddenly wondering how Spike could be treated in a place like this. Would they treat him right alongside the dead? Faye felt sick.
"Doctor-Priest! Munchie Feast! Ed thinks Faye-Faye's a beast!"
"I am, among other things. I supervised his treatment personally. I must say I'm relieved. The man had no will to live. I had to resuscitate him 6 times. If he had gone a seventh, I would have let him go."
Faye was shocked. Spike had no will to live? Sure, he was careless, but Faye never would have imagined him as hating life. But then again, after Julia-
"I was beginning to lose hope again," Krai continued. "I didn't think he would remain unconscious for so long."
"Is he..." Faye started. "Is he-
"Is he sensible?" The holy woman laughed. "He was this morning. Bitching about how he wanted a cigarette."
Faye almost smiled.
"But Doctor Krai-"
"Mother Krai, if you will." She turned to Faye, tugging at her collar again. "Faith before medicine."
The holy woman stopped, and Faye realized that they had reached their destination. Ed, failing to pay attention, walked into Faye.
"Where are we?" Ed asked for both her and Faye.
"When the goings get tough, we use this area as a free clinic. Mr. Spiegel is our first patient in years." She moved to open the door, but Faye stopped her.
"Why did you say that you were hoping I would come?"
Krai smiled slightly at Faye's momentarily pleading eyes. //She tries so hard to mask her feelings. But she's betrayed herself far to many times for me to hold back now.\\
"An unconscious man reveals many things, Ms. Valentine," Krai started, leaning casually against the door. "If in consciousness a man claims to be fearless, in his sleep he will reveal his fears. If he claims to be indifferent, he will reveal his passions. If he claims to be hateful, he will reveal his love."
"Spike-Person will say that he loves Faye-Faye!"
"I don't understand," Faye replied, clamping a hand over Ed's mouth. A growing lump formed in her throat.
"In three and a half months, Mr. Spiegel weaved in and out of comas, but he never truly regained consciousness. We could tell when he came out of a coma because he would be responding to the previously unmedicated pain. During these times he would say a name..."
"My name?" Faye asked, hopeful and horrified at the same time. She immediately cursed herself for sounding so eager.
"No, my dear. I would pray that you never showed up at my door if he had said your name the way he said hers..."
"Julia..." Faye whispered, feeling her heart sink.
"The heartbreaker," Krai agreed, nodding sadly.
"You knew her then?"
"I was director for her funeral. I buried her."
"He loved her," Faye explained sadly. "It makes sense that he would say her name.
"It was full of anguish. Almost painful to hear. As if the very act of saying it caused more pain than his injuries. He may have loved her, but like I said...the unconsciousness of a man reveals things otherwise unknown. I won't pretend to not know what Julia was." Her voice suddenly became bitter. "She was a syndicate bitch, like so many other women I have buried over the years. Hearing Mr. Spiegel say her name made me think that perhaps he's not as innocent as his sleeping face suggests. But if he was involved in such things, it makes no difference now."
Faye wasn't sure she understood, but she also wasn't sure if she wanted to understand.
"But what does this have to do with me?" she asked.
"It has a lot to do with you," Krai replied. "He always spoke Julia's name when he was in pain. Once we drugged him and he began to drift off again, the peacefulness reappeared on his face. This is when he said your name."
At first, Faye was silent. Her heart beat wildly. //He said my name...\\. And yet...
"He said my name while he was high on morphine?" Faye could not hide the bitterness in her voice. "That's really great."
Faye was annoyed at the sound of the holy woman's light laughter.
"Perhaps not, Ms. Valentine. But the way I see it, he was going to a better place. He felt good, and he was taking you with him."
Faye stopped breathing. She hadn't thought of it like that. //He...He was taking me with him...to a better place..\\
She was startled back into awareness by Ed, who bit the hand Faye still held over her mouth. Faye was too shocked at Krai's words to retaliate.
"And if it makes you feel any better, he only said Julia's name 16 times. Our medical equipment records audio output from our patients."
"16 times?" Faye wasn't sure if that was good or bad.
Krai winked at her, finally reaching for the door handle to Spike's door.
"I believe the final score was 34-16. In favour of Faye Valentine." She waived them in. "No monkey business."
With that, Krai left, shutting the door behind her. Faye and Ed were left alone to reunite with Spike.
Faye thought she was going to faint.
"See? Ed told Faye-Faye that Spike-Person was still alive!"
**
PLEASE REVIEW! I promise that this is the last of the introductory chapters. Next chapter will be getting down to business.