Wicked

Chapter 4: Retaliation

by Kayla Chavi

Rating: R

email: kayla@wishing-blue.net

website:

* * *

The scent of salt drifted on the air and I could see the sparkling droplets of water fall from her face. Her eyes were hidden, her head bowed. The urge to growl was irrepressible; I didn't even try. I stalked over to her and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at me. She whimpered and tried to pull away but my grip was too tight.

"I didn't rut with you because I loved you. I can't ever love you, so understand that now. I took you as my mate because you are strong. You have more power in your voice than Kikyou has in her entire body. You are fearless against things that should make you shitless. You stupidly try to dominate me when I deserve it." That was hard to admit but I had to make this clear to her. "And you submit when you're supposed to. Most of the time, anyway. I fucked you because you're my Mate."

She still didn't understand. My bitch was still crying and in despair over this.

"So you'll never make love to me?"

Well that sounded promising. She wasn't cutting me off completely. She knew we would rut again, had accepted it like a good mate. Now if I could just figure out the difference between rutting and making love, we'd make progress.

"Kagome, I still want to rut with you--" she shook her head, cutting me off.

"I'm a girl, Inuyasha. I'm in love with you; I can't deny that; I can't even try to. But I want..." she began to cry even harder. "When you're with me like that...when we're doing sexual things...I want....." She pushed against my chest to make me let go of her but I wasn't having any of that. Unless she used her Power, I wasn't letting go.

"You want me to be tender?"

Her eyes snapped open. They were a bright blue because of her tears. She shook her head and closed her eyes again. "I don't want to feel dirty."

It was then that I realized that I had moved much too quickly with my bitch. I had spent nearly a season with her, just being her friend. Then I practically molested her in her home. I had failed as a mate to explain things to her. I had been selfish.

Bad Inu-chan.

I released her chin to cup her cheeks. She looked at me again, surprised at the gentle touch. I guess it had been a while since I had done this. I was still irritated that she thought our rutting was dirty. She wasn't a slut until she did those things with another male. Even then it was debatable.

I wasn't going to tell her that it was perfectly reasonable for her to mount someone else. It was her right as a bitch--however not as my mate. The only male she'd mount would be me.

"Kagome, we're Mates. That makes whatever we do together untainted. You're just mistaken in thinking that mates have to be in love, that's all."

"I see," she finally whispered and then pulled away. I let her go. I let her turn her back to me. She took several deep breaths, her frame shuddering as she fought to stop crying. "I have to think about this. I...I'm a little confused by things."

Shit. She's going home.

* * *

I spent three days in bed.

My initial feeling had been despair and utter hopelessness. Then I had gotten furious. I even entertained fantasies in which I cut off Inu-chan. If it wasn't so impossible for me to inflict torture on someone I loved, I would have done it. I would have cut his boy part off and fed it to him. If it could grow back, I seriously will toy with that idea.

The pathetic part of all of this angst was that I loved him. I still loved the worthless bastard.

With that inconsolable reflection, I finally fell asleep. When I awoke, a blur of silver and fur filled my vision. I groaned and rolled over, curling into a ball of warm, soft blankets.

"Go away." I didn't hear any moment and then there was a soft whine. He sounded like a kicked puppy. Damn. "Inuyasha, go away!" I sat up, hair flying everywhere to look angrily down at him. He back away from the bed in a crouch. His ears were flattened all the way to his scalp.

With a huff, I laid back down, my pillows poofing around me. I stayed that way for quite some time. He didn't leave and every so often I heard him change position. I could feel his eyes on me and wondered if he was angry. Would there be blood mixed with amber if I saw him?

"You weren't my first kiss."

Gods above, why was I telling him this? Did I want him to get enraged? Was this some sort of sick test my subconscious had come up with? I hurt the faintest of growls and the click of his tongue against his teeth. Then he swallowed the sound, hiding his anger.

"You weren't my first intimate experience either."

His claws gripped at the wood of the floor. I winced inwardly at the scraping of the wood. There would be marks under that ugly pink carpet. He finally said something; his tone, indignant.

"You were a virg--"

"Technically," I interrupted. My ceiling is an pale cream, not the white that people expect. I hate looking at it at night but now I couldn't tear my gaze away.

"Kouga."

"Yes."

I paused and closed my eyes. I had to make my voice cold and uncaring, something that I am very bad at. I wanted to hurt him the way he hurt me. He didn't love me and I love him. He called me his mate, said it was something more important than love. I was going to be a bitch.

Kouga explained a lot to me about mating when I first met him. Technically this was my right as a female. I could have sex with whomever I chose, despite what my male said. I would have never--

"He knows how to use his tongue better than you."

Inuyasha tore a hole through my floor. The ripping of carpet and the cracking of wood was nearly silent. I laid very still. It was entirely possible that he'd attempt to punish me for this. That was his right too. He had declared me his mate before my mother. That was as good as marriage for a youkai.

"I touched him intimately too. He marked me with his....well, he called it the mark of a rekai."

My face was hot and my hands were trembling. That was possibly the messiest experience of my life. No one mentions that part when they talk about a man during sex. Inuyasha has always been inside me when he's climaxed. Shippou said once that he could smell Inuyasha in my skin. I knew the degrees of marking somewhat.

It was hard to admit this to him. I was embarrassed by the whole ordeal. Kouga had made me sleep with him, insisting that if a human girl wanted his protection that she had to do what he said. I believed him. I didn't understand how powerful I was, I still don't.

"I thought he had forced you." The low rumble was nearly indecipherable. "I could smell him on your hands."

"His pack thinks I'm his bitch," I whispered. "They think that in the end, I'm going to chose him."

"Are you?" he demanded. He had started to approach the bed, getting closer to me. I begged the gods to make him stay away from me. If he touched me, if he was gentle, I wouldn't be able to be strong. My heart loved him too much.

Stupid heart.

"Are you going to choose Kikyou?" I finally turned my head to look at him. His face was right next to mine. Amber eyes were intent on my face, his clawed hand gripping the blankets. He began to growl under his breath. I took a breath to ask again but there was a blur of red and silver.

I squeaked when he got on top of me. His hands were fisted into the pillows, his knees on either side of my waist. He wasn't touching any of me. He stilled growled and the bed shook slightly from it. He began to lean down, his face coming very close to mine.

Even at the rate of him coming closer, I was surprised to feel the warmth of his mouth against mine. My heart made me kiss him back. It was tender. It was sensitive. And so very pleasant. He lowered his body onto mine and when I tried to pull away, he firmly held onto my chin.

"You are my mate, Kagome. Not her."

"I don't understand."

"You will."