The cut was an anticlimax. Made with a simple flick of the wrist and a long hard prayer. She walked through the house with purposeful steps, walking to Lindsey's room. Lindsey cranked an eye open at the movement of her door, looking at Sara sleepily.
'Why aren't you sleeping?' Sara asked softly.
'Too dark.' Lindsey whispered.
'Oh.' Sara walked forward, sitting on the edge of the bed. When Lindsey scooted over, Sara moved so that she was sitting up against the headboard, long legs stretched out on the bed, Lindsey falling quickly asleep with her head pillowed on Sara's lap.
Sara closed her eyes, breathed out gently, refusing to acknowledge the count down going off in another room.
Lewis and Small were both examining the large digital clock, watching the seconds tick by. Nick was alternating between looking at the clock, and watching through the window, counting down the seconds anyway, like the digits were ingrained in his mind.
Grissom held a now still Catherine, her face, wet with tears, turned from the clock, not wanting to watch.
The fifty-fifty chance seemed too much of a gamble, was too big a stake to risk two lives on. But that was what it had come down to. Most gamblers would have loved the odds. But then again most gamblers weren't betting with their lives.
With the clock running past sixty seconds, Grissom's cell rang.
'We've got Cravely in custody. House turned up everything, but he won't cop to where the control is.' Warrick told him.
'Ok. It would have been pushing it anyway.' Grissom said, disconnecting.
For once, Warrick denied the chance to sit in on the interview with Brass; instead he and Greg started the long drive to Catherine's house, both silent as Warrick drove.
The silence was getting unbearable for Catherine. She risked a look at the clock, then wished she hadn't. Seventeen seconds and she'd know whether her girl was going to live or not. Seventeen seconds and she would either be hysterical with excitement or hysterical with despair. She didn't want to think about what it would be like, but found in the silence the images came anyway, unbidden. She suddenly had empathy for all those victims who said justice wasn't enough for what someone had done to ruin their lives. Because sitting there in the silence, waiting for the seconds to tick by, wanting them to slow to extend the time, but wanting them to hurry just so that she would know; life in a county jail suddenly seemed too little too late. Not enough punishment for causing this amount of pain.
The silence was wrapping round her like a blanket, shielding her from fruitless thoughts of what if? The silence was comforting, the soft whisper of breath from Lindsey calming her body, her mind until she stopped the relentless task of wondering, and just relaxed. There was nothing more she could do now. Failure or not, she had done all she could do. Everything from now on was outside of her control and it felt good to not have to worry about making anymore decisions. She'd done it. The decision was made. For better or worse. Now she could just relax, listen to Lindsey's unhurried breath. And just wait.
The first second no one moved. The second, Lewis and Small shared a glance. It wasn't till the third, pushing onto the forth that anyone moved. Catherine had felt Grissom move from where he held her hard against his chest. She slowly turned her head around, watching with uncomprehending eyes as the seconds ticked past six, then seven. After midnight. It wasn't until well after the fourteenth second that she found she could finally move, kicking herself into action, her chair scraping on the wooden floor of the van a sign for them all to start moving, to kick into action. Lewis got on the radio to his team. Small phoned through to HQ. Catherine jumped to her feet, ready to run flat out to her house.
Lewis caught her first, just as she stepped out of the van. 'Wait.' He told her firmly. 'Got to clear the house first.'
The agonising seconds until the squawk of the radio, a male voice telling them all clear was nothing like what she'd just had to sit through, but now, Catherine, restless and just wanting to be with her baby was desperate. As soon as Lewis released his hold, she was away, running the block, Grissom and Nicky along with most of the cops on her tail. The media seemed to have the same idea, about to race along with their TV cameras, catch all the emotion for live TV. Until they came up against a wall of cops who refused to let them go any further.
Sara heard the door being kicked down as if in a dream. She wasn't asleep, just waiting there in the silence. The surreal-ness of the whole thing continued as she heard a male voice yell all clear, and pandemonium broke out.
Sara only moved when she recognised Catherine's voice, getting out of the way so that Catherine could get to Lindsey, kissing and hugging the surprised youngster over and over.
Sara didn't see anyone, didn't acknowledge anyone, only one thought going through her head as on unsteady feet, she walked out of the room, walked down the corridor, towards the front door, needing more than anything just to escape the house.
Nick and Grissom watched her go, watching her unsteady progress, swaying, lurching as if she was drunk. They shared a glance and Nick followed her, Grissom staying behind in case Catherine needed him. Or any media tried to sneak in.
She didn't stop walking for almost half a block, suddenly coming to a halt by the road, all but collapsing onto the curb. Nick sat next to her, took one look at how white she was and pushed her head between her knees. She offered no resistance to the movement. Nick kept one hand on her neck, trying to be of comfort, feeling the tremors working their way through Sara, shock settling in.
The sound of a car broke the silence of the street, Nick looking up to see a Tahoe barrelling to a stop at the crime scene tape strung across the road, Warrick and Greg near enough falling out of the car, flashing badges at the cop on guard before walking a little more sedately up to them. Nick and Warrick shared glances as Warrick took a seat on the other side of Sara, Greg standing, shifting uneasily on his feet as he watched.
'Hey girl.' Warrick greeted her gently. 'How you doing?'
The only acknowledgement they got from Sara was a slight lifting of the head, so that it settled resting on her bended legs.
There was movement behind them, and Nick turned to see Catherine, Lindsey attached to her hip, coming towards them. He and Warrick subtly moved as Catherine crouched in front of Sara, not saying anything just hugging her as hard as she could.
Warrick was about to ask more when there was a shout to their left. 'Ms Sidle, Ms Willows, I'm Rose French from the Los Vegas Tribune. How does it feel to be out of the house? To know that…'
She carried on as Nick and Warrick both yelled no comment at the woman, some near by cops starting towards the cameras looking menacing.
'Can we go?' Sara asked suddenly, looking up and at Nick.
Catherine stood up, and Grissom pointed to the right. 'My car's that way. Anywhere you can stay for tonight?'
'My sister's.'
Lindsey just looked shocked, not understanding why her mom had suddenly turned up all sad, and why now they couldn't go back into the house. She just wanted to sleep. She had school in the morning, after all.
Nick helped Sara to her feet, and walked her quickly to the Tahoe, Warrick grabbing Greg on the way who looked like he wanted to go five rounds with Ms French.
'We'll take her to CSI.' Warrick told Grissom, who nodded.
One strong whiskey laced coffee later and Sara had colour back in her cheeks, the shaking down to the occasional tremor of the hand. They were sat in the CSI break room, Greg having been pulled onto a seat by Warrick to stop him dancing around restlessly. Sara had refused a band-aid for the cut on her hand, although didn't stop Warrick as he cleaned up the dry blood from it.
Nick finally asked the question he had been dying to know since the bomb hadn't gone off. 'Which wires did you cut?'
'The one with the single line. In my experience, most criminals aren't that clever.' Sara answered with a simple shrug. It was hard to think that it all came down to that simple decision. The difference between sitting here, and…Sara stopped the thought. She didn't have to think like that. She'd made the cut, and it had worked. She couldn't live on what ifs.
The door opening then made them all jump. 'Catherine!' Sara exclaimed. Catherine stepped into the door followed by Grissom.
'I never thanked you.' Catherine said by way of explanation for her showing up. 'I never thanked you for looking after my little girl.' The little girl in question was holding her mom's hand, the other thumb in her mouth, looking extremely tired. On seeing Sara she let go of her mom's hand, stepped forward and climbed on Sara's lap. 'Make them all go away.' She muttered sleepily to Sara, before falling asleep leaning against Sara.
Sara watched her sleep for a few moments before looking up at Catherine a smile on her face. 'Does this mean you won't have your Grouchy face on for a while?'
Catherine shot a look at her peacefully sleeping daughter before smiling. 'You bet.'
Thank you for every review- you've all been great with your words. Hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.