Best Enemies
Chapter 8- Fickle
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Notes:Best Enemies is an AU fic, meaning that Joren isn't dead ^.^ and other things that may be wrong/missing will not be occuring in my fic. Reviews are, of course, greatly appreciated and very encouraging. If you have other questions or comments or simply want to chat, email me at devilgirl927@yahoo.com with the heading ff.net or something similar. Flames are fine as long as they are constructive criticism.
Disclaimer: Joren, Kel, the Copper Isles, and anything else associated with Tortall belongs to Tamora Pierce and her publishers. I am simply borrowing them for entertainment and will eventually return them, albeit in slightly mutilated forms =).
A/N: Hi everyone! I'm sorry that it took me so long to update, but the last week of school before winter break is so hectic- but I'm off now! Yipee! The note above is just to clear some things up. It seems some have forgotten what I wrote in the first one *glares* so that is for all of you.
Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! I will thank all of you at the end of this chapter. I would also like to thank Keita and Zenin, who gave me great ideas. Last but certainly not least, I want to thank my beta-readers: cytosine, Lady Sandrilene fa Toren, Keita, Violyn, and Mnitr. All of you are so wonderful!
Now, onto the wonderful and aptly named chapter 8- Fickle!
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A young, white-blonde haired boy of about five stood in a small practice court. He was struggling with a large, ornate sword, trying with every muscle in his tiny body to lift it from the ground. After several minutes, he had made no progress and his pale face was flushed with heat and frusteration. The sword clattered to the ground as her released the hilt from his stubborn grasp. He leaned against a wall and slid to the floor, a tear coursing down his sweaty cheek.
"What is this?" a soft, deadly voice asked. The boy bowed his head in guilt and shame. "I do not see you practicing. Instead, you sit and cry like an infant! Joren, how can you hope to amount to anything when you show your weakness to the world?"
"But Daddy, it's too heavy-"
"Silence! I thought we taught you better then to talk back to your elders! You are truly a shame to this family! I forbid you to leave this room until you prove that you are strong enough to lift the sword and be a warrior Stone Mountain can be proud of!" The man walked briskly out of the room, his footsteps echoing on the flagstones. Picking himself off the floor, the boy hardened his face, unknowingly hardening his heart in the process. He once again lifted the hilt of the sword, messy hair falling into now cold eyes.
"I'll make them proud." he whispered harshly. "I'll be the best knight in Tortall. They'll love me then!"
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The boy, now about seven, stood holding his mother's hand in the beautiful greeting place in front of Stone Mountain's castle. Soon, a small group of horses stopped a few yards in front of them. The figures dismounted quickly and handed their reins over to the hostlers. The white-blonde head of the boy's father appeared when he removed his helmet and walked toward his wife.
"Daddy!" the boy cried, running to his father and wrapping his arms around his legs tightly.
"Oh, hello Joren." he replied absently, disentangling the boy from his legs.
"Daddy, Daddy! Today's my birthday!"
"Of course. Here's some money. Why don't you buy yourself a present." it wasn't really a question. He handed the boy a pouch of gold nobles and turned to his wife.
"You were gone for two months, Burchard." she scolded sternly, placing her hands on her hips.
"I know, but the man strikes a hard deal. I finally managed to talk him around." he responded. "I'll be wandering around the castle if you need me." he called to her as he walked away, ignoring the boy that ran after him.
"Daddy-"
"Not now. I have important things to attend to." the boy's outstretched arm fell limply to his side as he watched the retreating form of a father that didn't care.
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It was one of the most exquisite suites in the Royal Palace, the kind that was reserved for only the oldest of nobility. The elder blonde man and his elegant wife sat on couches in the elaborate room. Their son entered and stood across from them."Father. Mother. What did you call me for?" his voice was hollow and much more formal then usual, his handsome face blank.
"We wanted to let you know to pack all your things. Since you are now a knight, we will be returning home in three days." the boy's father replied.
"You'll be meeting your fiancee." his mother added excitedly. "We have so much planning to do before the wedding-"
"I'm not going." he interrupted, his voice firm and emotionless.
"Excuse me?" his father asked.
"I'm not going." he repeated stubbornly.
"Is that so? What gave you that idea, Joren? Please, enlighten me!"
"I'm not your pawn, Father. I may have been before, but I'm not nearly as gullible as I used to be. I may have believed that being the best, that behaving just like you would make you pay attention to me, would make you care. Perhaps I even thought that you would love me if I rose to your expectations and beyond. But you are incapable of loving anyone but yourself! I was never good enough for you, no matter what I did or how hard I tried! I am not going back to Stone Mountain and marrying some wealthy bitch who will keep our wonderful lineage perfect! I'm tired of you dictating everything in my life! From now on, I'm doing things my way! I'm staying here!" his voice was now hoarse with emotion and yelling. His blue eyes smoldered with feelings he had suppressed for eighteen years. Footsteps echoed on the marble tiles as he made his way out of the room.
"If you take one more step, I will disown you!" his father's voice shook. "One more step, I'm warning you..."
The footsteps halted, but the boy didn't even look around as he responded. "Disown me if you want. I don't really care. Goodbye, Mother. Father, I hope you rot in hell."
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I awoke suddenly from the dreams of the past. Running my hand through my disheveled hair, I sat up and contemplated my life. Despite my father's threats that night, I had never been disowned. In fact, the entire argument was so well hidden from the Court that no one knew of the incident. Everything in Stone Mountain was like this- covered up and made into some mysterious situation so that only a facade of perfection and intrigue was shown to the world. However, I had refused to be a part of the mirage any longer. That was the last time I had ever spoken to my family, and I made my dislike of them obvious to anyone who asked. I had changed since then. Now, I truly did whatever I felt like.
The thing I hated most about my dreams was that they reminded me of my childhood. They were painful memories, times when I would do anything to prove myself to my father in hopes of just a little attention. Yet the bastard couldn't even remember my fucking birthday! My mother was kind, but incapable of sensing my need to be loved. I had been alone, insecure...
A noise caught my attention and brought me back to the present. Spinning around, I saw that it was just Mindelan, mumbling something in her sleep. I clenched my fists. Mindelan. I hated her so much, almost as much as I hated my father.
The most prominent reason I hated her was because I envied her. She had everything I didn't have- friends, a loving family, attention, love. I had tried my whole life to get these things but to no avail. Mindelan had a perfect life, and she took it all for granted.
I loathed her because she had everything I ever wanted! It simply wasn't fair how she had so much and I had nothing at all.
Once again, I glanced at her. In the moonlight she seemed ethereal and gorgeous. I had never before thought of her as a girl, except for maybe when she was wearing those dresses at the balls, but had thought of her as The Girl who believed she could become as strong as the rest of us. Perhaps that was why I had never before seen how lovely she was or noticed that she really didn't look that manly at all...
I tried to shake the thoughts out of my head. They were quite disturbing, really. It occured to me that my lack of sleep and the full moon were tricking my eyes into thinking Mindelan was beautiful. Yet I couldn't shake away the part of me that said that this was one of the reasons I had felt that strange sort of attraction to her.
I once more laid on the soft ground, wrapping myself in my cloak. I shut my eyes, wanting the whole mission to end. I didn't know how much more of Mindelan I could take. Slowly, I drifted into the dark abyss of sleep, calm and dreamless.
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I stretched languidly, not wanting to wake after my brief sleep. Turning my head slightly, I caught sight of Joren and had to stifle a laugh. He looked like a child, entangled in his black cape and breathing softly. In the weak pre-dawn light, his hair seemed to glow as it feel in disarray over his calm face. He seemed so relaxed and peaceful... it made me want to crawl next to him and bury my head in his chest and fall back asleep...
Woah! I must have been way more tired then I had thought! I'm so sleep deprived I'm getting delusional! I was just glad that Joren wasn't awake to see me staring at him. Suddenly, I realized that dawn was quickly approaching. They would be looking for us any minute now! We had to get out of here! I knew that Joren would be less then happy at having his sleep disturbed, but I really didn't have a choice.
"Joren! Wake up!" I called softly, shaking him. He muttered something and rolled over. Great. I tried a different approach. "Joren! Time to get up!" I repeated, this time directly into his ear.
Joren immediately sat upright. His head collided with mine, making us both yelp in pain. "Fuck, Mindelan! Watch where you put that thick skull of yours!" he yelled.
Anger boiled in my veins. Why did he constantly insult me? I decided to repay him for his concern. "Sorry, did I mess up your pretty hair?" I asked, voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'll fix it for you." I tore some grass from the ground and tossed it on his head.
"Bitch!" he shouted, angrilly running his hands though his silky locks. "What is your problem? Sexual frusterations?"
I glared at him. "My problem? The only problem here is you! All I was trying to do was wake you up so they wouldn't find us and-"
"Damn!" he interrupted. "We've got to get out of here!" he began sprinting down the hillside to the shore. I ran after him as quickly as I could. The docks were on the opposite side of the castle, so no ships waited in the inlet. Once we reached the waves lapping gently on the fine sand, we were trapped.
"How are we going to get out of here? There aren't any ships..." I trailed off when I looked out to the sea. "Great Mother Goddess, what is going on?"
A ship appeared on the hoizon, skimming magnificently through the water at an unearthly speed. It gleamed in the sunrise, more glorious then anything I had ever seen before. I stood rooted to the spot, entranced, until it dropped anchor a few feet from the shore. A man hopped off deck and came toward us, a happy grin on his face.
"Hello! My name is Dominic! I think you two might want to get away from here. They're searching the castle for you. I thought you might like to go back to Tortall!"
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It was almost noon by the time that all of the Copper Isles faded out of view. I gazed at the sparkling water that stretched out as far as I could see in every direction, unbroken by land or other ships. Sighing, I leaned against the guardrail on the deck. As much as I wanted to enjoy this journey and the magnificence of the ocean, I couldn't bring myself to. The only thing my mind could focus on was the war that would be occurring in Tortall soon.
I heard footsteps behind me and turned around to see Dominic coming up. He smiled that infectious grin of his, and I had to smile back. With a wave of his hand, he swept his black hair out of his deep brown eyes. He rested a tanned, muscular arm on the rail beside me and gazed out at the ocean.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" he said simply. When I didn't answer, he shifted his eyes from the water and focused on me. "Is something the matter?"
"NO." I responded, maybe a little bit too quickly. He raised an eyebrow at me.
"I know you haven't known me for long, but I know all about you-"
"HOW?" I interrupted, not exactly confortable with the idea that someone I didn't know knew all about me.
He let out a laugh. "You're the Lady Knight, talked about all over the Eastern Lands! How could I not know all about you? One of the things I've heard is that you don't show your emotions much and that you dislike bothering others with your problems. Maybe I could help you though. I've been told I'm a great listener." he said with a small smile.
I felt amazingly comfortable with him, more so then I felt with my own family. It was almost frightening how much I wanted to tell him. Yet a more sensible part of my mind argued that I shouldn't let him know about my problems. You never have to take back something you haven't said. The familar Yamani proverb comforted me slightly.
"Are you sure you're okay?" he questioned once again.
"Yeah. I'm fine. Thanks for asking, though." I responded in a much more normal tone then my previous answers. Dominic still didn't look as though he believed me.
"Well, if you need to talk about anything, I would be happy to listen. Don't worry if I'm busy at the moment or anything." he said.
"If there's something I want to talk about, I'll go see you." I replied. He gave me a smile and began walking away, the sunlight catching his black hair and making it shine. Dominic was extremely handsome...
As quickly as I could, I set off in the other direction, trying to chase such shallow thoughts out of my head.
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I had finally managed to clear my mind, only to once again be reminded of the war. All it had taken was the glint of a dagger on the belt of one of the sailors... I sighed and began pacing back and forth on the deck, trying to convince myself that it wasn't all my fault. Why oh why had I ever decided to go on this mission? If I hadn't, I would be back at home with my friends, unconcerned about everything. I missed everyone so much...
"Mindelan, do you think you could stop pacing? It is really quite annoying." a familar drawl came from a few feet away. Joren was lounging in a hammock strung between two poles of the ship.
"You know what Joren? I really don't care if I'm annoying you! There are more important things on my mind then you at the time!" I yelled, then inwardly cringed. I was under too much stress right now and had taken it out on Joren for no reason at all. I dreaded his reaction.
Luckily, he seemed quite relaxed, unlike me. "How could anything be more important then me?" he teased. "Are you saying that you don't care about me?" a pout formed on his full lips. "Oh Mindelan, that really hurts. I think you should be more considerate."
I glared at him. "Joren, if a sea monster grabbed you off the deck off the ship right now and began eating you, you still wouldn't be the most important thing on my mind!"
"Relax, Mindelan, I was only joking. I think you might need to take a little nap or something. You seem very touchy right now."
"Touchy? TOUCHY! I'm feeling more then just TOUCHY right now, Joren! If you would stop being such an idiotic, concieted excuse for a human you might see that!"
He glared at me. "If anyone should be mad, it should be me! You are such a hypocrite, Mindelan. You don't see things right in front of your own eyes. I've tried to be nice, to just have some friendly conversation, but you jump on me and attack me everytime I speak! Then you go all mushy over the first male you set eyes on on the ship-"
"I do NOT like Dominic!" I lied with a shout. "You're just jealous because you know you could never compare to a man as kind and handsome as him!" At that, I stormed off, furious. Joren too, looked positively outraged.
"Just do me one favor and invite me to the wedding!" he yelled after me. "Perhaps even name your first child after me-" If a sea monster had grabbed Joren off the deck and began eating him, I would have cheered.
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For some reason, I found myself looking for Dominic after my encounter with Joren. Lately, my companion had been amazingly confusing. At times, he was tolerable, nice even- as though he wanted to make peace and become my friend. Then, there were times when he was meaner and nastier then he had been when we were pages, tormenting me and making rude remarks relentlessly. During these times, my hatred of him was matched only by his loathing of me. While I disliked him because of the way he used to treat everyone and was now treating me (for it seemed to be me alone that he tormented these days), it seemed he hate me because of something else. I had no idea why he detested me so much, for he had been a mystery of late.
I glanced back at him. He was more handsome then Dominic, even with that scowl on his face. White-blonde hair blew in the rough wind, hitting him fiercely in the face, but he didn't flinch. The Yamanis would have loved him. Truth be told, I admired Joren for the way he ignored things like the weather. The only thing that ever seemed to get to him was me.
Just then, I realized I had stopped walking to stare at Joren, and that he was staring right back at me. His gaze wasn't angry, but was still amazingly unnerving. I blushed fiercely and walked quickly away. I couldn't believe that I had actually been thinking he was handsome! Sometimes I acted much more like a court lady then I would ever care to admit.
Once again, I began searching for Dominic. Descending the steps to the area below the deck, I found myself in a dim corridor. I allowed my brain to wander as I looked for him. Yet another time, I found myself thinking about the war, making myself miserable once more. I couldn't keep my mind in the present, and kept reliving the mission that I had made so many errors in. Then I thought of what would be happening far too soon in Tortall if we failed to warn them about the war. My mind was so preoccupied that I didn't even realize that Dominic was standing there until I bumped into his muscular body.
"Sorry." I said rubbing my head.
"That's okay. I can see you're a little tired. Why don't you get some rest? It looks as though you could use it." he replied kindly.
"Yeah, I guess I could use a bit of sleep." I replied. I was extremely tired all of a sudden, and it was hard for me to move my mouth. A huge yawn made my jaw crack.
"Here. It's just through this door." he said, steering me through the blurred hall. "Have a nice long rest. There will be a bath waiting for you and fresh clothing tomorrow morning. We didn't have any more breeches and tunics though..." I heard no more as I drifted off into sleep on a soft bed for the first time in days.
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It wasn't until the light streaming through the portholes filled up my room that I awoke. Though I must have slept well over half a day, I was still exhausted. Climbing out of bed, I didn't notice a large basin full of steaming water until I nearly tripped over it. "Must be the bath Dominic promised." I mumbled to myself. Stripping out of my disguting clothes, I slipped into the hot water. "Much better." I sighed sleepily. I would have to burn my clothes after this- they were putrid smelling after the time spent in the dungeon. As I bathed, the hot water lulled me to sleep and I rested my head against the iron side of the tub.
An hour or so later I awoke. The water was increasingly colder and my neck felt horrible after leaning it in such an uncomfortable position for so long. Drying myself off with a fluffy towel, I looked around for clothes. I finally caught sight of several neatly folded pieces of fabric. Unfolding them, I saw that they were dresses. Dresses! With a groan I put one on and found that though it didn't fit nearly as well as Lalasa's dresses, it was fairly comfortable. Even so, I was less then pleased at the idea of having to wear dresses until I got to Corus, if I ever managed to.
Walking just a few yards out of my room, I saw Dominic. He caught sight of me and smiled.
"Good afternoon! Did you have a nice sleep?"
"It's afternoon already?" I asked. My sleeping habits were really getting poor these days. "I slept well. Thank you for the bath."
"My men were saying they would dump both of you overboard if I didn't make you two bathe soon." he joked. "On a more serious note, are you feeling okay? Remember what I said. I'm always here to listen if you need someone to talk to."
"I'm fine, really." I told him. "Honestly, I haven't thought about it in hours! But I do have one question for you. Why do I have to wear a dress?"
Dominic sighed. "I'm really sorry about that. We didn't have any more breeches and tunics, and we had dresses left over from some travelers on the ship a few months back."
"Are you telling me that Joren's wearing a dress too?" I asked, stifling a laugh. He didn't look nearly as feminine as he had all those years ago, but the thought of him in a ballgown and face paint with his hair curled was still quite amusing.
"No, we had some normal clothing for him to wear. Do you want something to eat? They probably have some lunch left over in the galley (a/n: a ship's kitchen, unless I'm mistaken). It just three doors down." Dominic told me.
The mention of food reminded me that I hadn't eaten dinner or breakfast. "I think I will go eat something. Thank you for everything." I trotted into the galley and was silently handed some food. The absence of Joren was quite strange after all the time I had been spending with him recently. Wondering where he was led my mind to thoughts of my mission, which led to thinking about the war for the hundreth time. Growing steadily more depressed, I discarded the rest of my half eaten food.
Suddenly, I had the strange desire to tell Dominic about what I was worried of. Over the last day, he had seemed kind and considerate. It seemed as though he had really cared about how well I was doing and about everything that was bothering me. Despite the more logical part of my mind, I found myself once again looking for Dominic. I searched in the corridor until I saw a door that was slightly open. In it I saw him studying something seriously. I was about to turn around but remembered what he had said about it not mattering if I interrupted him or not.
"Dominic?" I asked. He looked up quickly from his papers and stood up. With a quick motion, he slid the sheets of parchment into a drawer.
"Hello." he told me when he looked up. He walked up to me silently.
"Um, what was that?" I questioned curiously. "I didn't disturb anything, did I? Because if I did, I can just-"
"Oh, no, that's not necessary." he reassured me. "I was only looking at some maps. I thought that if you knew you would doubt my skill as a captain."
"I trust you." I said simply. I felt awful once more, thoughts of war swirling in my head.There was an easy silence.
"Did you want to talk about something?" Dominic asked me.
"Y-yes." I was having second doubts. I didn't know if I should tell him my worries about my friends and family in Tortall. Dominic seemed nice enough, but I couldn't be sure if I could trust him. However, there was something about him that made me want to open up. "I'm concerned about everyone at home. If anyone dies, it will be all my fault! I already feel like I've messed up so much on this mission, getting caught spying and everything. I don't know if I am really capable of saving the day this time." I sighed. "I've never failed before. I don't think I can handle the pain of letting them down." I felt wetness in the corner of my eye, and before I could stop it, a tear trickled down my cheek. I made a move to wipe it away, but Dominic caught my hand.
"Keladry-" he began.
"Kel. Please call me Kel." I interrupted.
"Kel it is then." he said with a light chuckle. He gently wiped the tear off my face with his thumb. "Kel, I think you're a great person. You can do anything you set your mind to (courtesy of Marshall Mathers, lol)! I know you will succeed. For now, just relax and enjoy your trip. Mithros knows you'll have enough to worry about when you get back!" That got a smile out of me. Dominic was so kind and caring, unlike certain other people I could think of. He had a sense of humor, and was one of the most handsome people I had ever seen...
I should have stopped then, seeing the route my thoughts were taking once again. But I couldn't bring myself to. I couldn't help feeling something more then just friendliness to Dominic. Perhaps I was fickle, as I had often thought as a page and squire. Maybe I did too often begin to love people for silly and shallow reasons. However, I was attracted to Dominic and didn't care. He was right- I needed to relax.
I let out a laugh, happy, carefree, and characteristic of the old Kel who had been left behind in Tortall. "Could you give me a tour of the ship?" I asked a surprised Dominic. "I have no idea how I got down here in the first place!"
"Sure!" he replied, taking by the arm and leading me out of the room. Yes, I was fickle, but I no longer cared. All stressing thoughts of the war with the Copper Isles had dissolved with the touch of his hand.
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I emerged silently from the shadows of the corridor as Kel walked away hand in hand with Dominic. My face hardened at the thought of that disgusting captain. I had just been about to go and see what the problem with Kel- no, Mindelan- was when he had strutted over to her and acted like he was the King of the World or something, for Mithros' sake! When he stroked away her tear and walked away, holding her hand, I felt that oh so familar emotion in the pit of my stomach once again. The feeling of jealousy. I walked to where they had gone and followed the sound of their voices, echoing in the dim hallway.
Of course, I wasn't jealous of Dominic. Why the hell would I be jealous of someone as pathetic as him? But a part of me thought differently. A part of me wanted to run that moronic bastard through with a sword. I silenced that part of me as best I could.
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A/N: Ah!! *dodges many knives and keyboards* Don't kill me! I'm sorry! Don't worry, this is a K/J fic, but I felt like having something interesting happen. This certainly is interesting! Remember to review and perhaps leave an email for me.
If you are interested, I have added fics to my favorite list. They are all very good and highly recommended by me.
Time for me to thank all of my wonderful reviewers!
Twitch- I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I also love the provoking Kel.
Angel Of The Storms- I love your name! I hope you liked this chapter, too!
Violyn- Well, it took me a bit long to update, but it was worth the wait- right?
Zenin- She always calls him Joren in the book, but I agree that the first name status is awful! But your nicknames gave me a wonderful idea, as did the drunk idea a few reviews ago. Muhahahahahaha! Next chapter will be so fun!
cytosine- Ahh, the last chapter was only good because of the help of all my beta readers! I hope you enjoyed the many thoughts in this chapter!
Keita- I wouldn't dream of changing Joren, don't worry! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Free2BMe- Well, you don't have to be specific or helpful, I'm just glad you think it is good! K/J fics RULE!!!
Lybi Lunsar- You like my writing? *swoons* You are too kind. Please continue your praises!
Cami of Queenscove- Hehe. I also like that anything. Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Intuition- I'm glad you like it! Ahh, I love knowing what's going to happen when no one else does...
no name- I don't know who you are, but I'm glad you liked it! Don't worry, the romance is coming very, very soon!
Venus Smurf- Wow. That's all I have to say. Honestly, that is one of the nicest reviews I've ever gotten! *sniff* I hope this chapter is as good as the last!
Glasen Dauthi- Thank you so much! Wow, you guys are way too nice!
Lady Sandrilene- It's up, it's up! Sorry it took so long!
Siren Porter- I love your new chapter, there is finally romance! I'm glad you like it!
Majestic Elf, Lady Greenleaf- Did I get your name right? I can't check it right now, sorry. Cliffhangers are not fun to read, but are sooo much fun to write =)! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Queenofilangees- The first person speaking last chapter was Joren, sorry for the confusion. I know, I know... *sigh* it is so hard to be a procrastinator and still get appreciation.
Those are all the thanks for those who reviewed Chapter 7. Here is everyone I never thanked: bblond07, Aric, Cami of Queenscove, Zenin, ThePenMage, Lady Murasaki, Argenteus Draco, Lady Arabian Knight, Nice Day, Ti-Ti, Siren Porter, Elfin Warrior Maiden, Venus Smurf, Evilstrawberry, Darcel, Lady Sandrilene, Windchild, Doctor Cocoa, Chocolate Angel, Doctor Cocoa, Angel Of The Storms, Cami of Queenscove, Lybi Lunsar, Violyn, cytosine, Keita, Zenin, Siren Porter, Lybi Lunsar, Venus Smurf, Venus Smurf, Doctor Arizona, Chocolate Angel, Keita, arimel, arimel, arimel, arimel, arimel, and arimel.
Once again, thank you all. I hope everyone enjoys their holidays and has a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanuakah (though it's already over), Krazy Kwanza, Wonderful Winter Solstice, and, um... Happy Yule? No illeration for that one, sorry! I will see you soon with another chapter! Bye!
~ The Dark Goddess ~
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