Okay! This story is a little out there. I hope that this one will make everyone laugh as much as I did. Okay. R/R. Flames are okay. If I may be blunt, I actually don't care about flames. They can die and rot in hell. Yes, I'm a bitter one. Angst is one of the main things I run on. Anyways, read it, review it, whatever, I'm just happy to post!!!~ewankenobi2002

The Personal Life of a Jedi

Part 1: It was Only a Joke!

You wait on the landing pad for him to arrive. He's late. Again. You've been his "Life Line" for a year now, and he's always late.

Life Lines are the people who come to the aid of warriors when they come home from battle. You could say that they give TLC to the weary warriors.

You, lucky little 'ol you, got to be the famous General Kenobi's.

Life Lines are supposed to be healers, and you being one of the best, got assigned to the almighty General.

You shiver and rap your arms around yourself. The weather dorks decided to skip summer and go straight to fall.

You glance at Katrina, your best friend. She, like all the others, are dressed up for this little occasion. Her fire red hair is up in fancy twists and the emerald green dress she's wearing sways in the fall breeze.

You stick out like a sore thumb. Your baggy ripped up blues jeans, and your oversized men's plaid shirt hangs open, exposing a just as large white turtle neck, stand out in the sea of different colored dresses.

Suddenly you see the ship arrive and focus your thoughts on it and only it.

"Now arriving!" a voice rings over the PA system, "Wrath Squadron!"

The doors open and out pours the Wrath Squadron team.

The many women (12 all together, for 12 on the team) rush to their solders, while you stay hidden quietly in the back round.

When you do see the General finally emerge, your taken back.

He looked fine.

Wow, how nice for you. You weren't expecting him to look this.....healthy. You smile and make your way to him. He stares at you then a very small, flicker of a smile crosses his lips, and then disappears as quickly as it came.

You finally make it over to him, and smile warmly.

"Welcome home, Sir" You say softly.

"Thank you" Is his short and curt reply. You sigh and take his bag, and lead him to your speeder.

Great. This would be like all the other times. He would be moody, then mean, then uncooperative, then unreasonable, the be surprisingly nice for all of 2 seconds, then it would start all over again.

Man, talk about male PMS.

You put his bag in the back and climb into your baby. Your speeder is brand-spanking' new, and it's your pride and joy. It's orange with leather interior, goes hella fast and has a 6 CD changer. Not to mention it cost you a small fortune.

He climbs in next to you, silent, as usual. You've got his patterns down pact. He'll be silent the first night, and slowly become more loud and obnoxious.

"Can I turn on the radio?" You ask him. He stares at you and nods. You smile. You can't stand silence, and the heavy silence between you and the General is nerve-racking.

"--I'd do anything!!

Just to hold you in my arms,

To try and make you laugh,

I just can't put you in the past.

I'd do anything!!--"

You smile brightly now. This is your favorite song. You start to hum the lyrics you know by heart.

"--Just to fall asleep with you,

Will you remember me?

Cause, I know, I won't forget you.

Together we broke all the rules,

dreaming of dropping out of school,

and to leave this place,

and never come back--"

The music abruptly shuts off, and you stare at Kenobi.

"Hey!" you protest, "That's my favorite song!"

"It's giving me a headache." He tells you in a monotone voice.

You stare at him and you swear that you can see little pink splotches on his cheeks.

"Fine" You grunt and are happy that you see the lane that leads to your flat.

He follows you silently, like a shadow, into your small but efficient flat. He keeps at your heals as you make your way to the bath room. He stops in the door way and watches you draw him a bath. You shoulder past him and grab a blue robe, and hand it to him.

"Okay. You, my dear General, need to get all squeaky clean, so I can start healing you." You tell him.

He stares at you, then at the robe, then at the bathtub full of warm water.

"Men don't take baths." He says.

You huff, "Have you ever tried it?"

"Well.....no...." He stammers.

"Don't be afraid to try new things, Kenobi" You say shoving him into the bathroom, "It's very relaxing!" You close and lock the door before he can protest.

You smile as you hear him mumble something about this being a little to feminine for his taste, and then you hear the water splash over the sides.

While he bathes you fold down the blankets on the bed, and place newly washed pajama's on it.

You then rummage through the hall closet and try to find the box with all your medical supplies in it.

"Crap." You say as you realize the box is on the top shelf. You, being a horrible 5'6" stretch up on your tiptoes, and try to reach the box. Suddenly you see the box levitate a few inches and then shoot out over you head.

You turn to see Kenobi standing there, his hand out stretched with the box, a smug smile on his face.

"Show off" You mumble and take the box from him, making your way to the bed. He stays planted in place, as you sit down and make yourself comfy.

"Come on" You say. He just stares. You heave a long sigh. You go through this every time with him. When you try to heal him, he acts all weird, like you've got leprosy and he wouldn't touch you with a 200 foot poll.

"Come on, Kenobi, I won't bite......hard." You tell him, smiling playfully, but in a sly, cat like manner.

He stares at you a moment longer and slowly makes his way to the bed, sitting across from you.

"Okay." You say mostly to yourself, as you rummage through the box. You pull out some bacta patches and ointment. "Off with the shirt"

He gives you that odd look that says "Are-you-nuts?" and slowly pulls off the jean colored sleep shirt he's wearing, folds it neatly, and places it on his lap.

"Oh gods....." you mumble when you see his shoulder. How could you have missed it when it's sticking out at such an ungodly angle?

"Oh yeah, I dislocated my shoulder" He tells you.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." You mumble, poking at the ghastly purple/black lump that is his shoulder bone. His lip twitches slightly.

"No worries." You tell him, "I can fix that easily!" You hop up and wander over to your closet, pulling out a leather belt and making your way back to the bed. "Lay down"

He gives you that look again, and follows your orders.

"Here" You hand him the belt. He gives you another of his horrible cute perplexed looks and takes the belt.

HORRIBLY CUTE!?!? WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM!?!?! Although you must admit, it was cute, in a sick, I'm gonna hurl kind of way, but cute none the less.

"What's this for?" He asks, looking at the belt, then at you.

"So you can bite down on it, when I pop your shoulder back in place." You explain.

"I don't need it." He tells you, tossing the belt onto the ground.

"Fine, suit yourself" You mumble. Men. Always thinking their above and beyond pain.

You flex your fingers, and get a firm grasp on his forearm and shoulder, "On 3?" he nods, "1.....2.....3!" and with a hard yank, and loud *POP*, his shoulder is back where it should be. You noted that he didn't move, squirm, even flinch.

You also note that his eyes are a very steely gray, with a purple glare. Seeing as Kenobi stays in Jedi Mode all the time, you learned to read his true emotions by his eyes.

Blue meant that he was happy or embarrassed. The more intense a color blue, the more happy or embarrassed he's feeling.

Green meant that he was feeling particular evil or naughty at the time or seriously ticked off about this or that.

And Gray meant that he was in pain in one way or another.

And if his eye's are correct, This Jedi is in some bad pain.

"You sure your okay?" You ask him, letting worry wash over you slightly. He nods, and the worry disappears as quickly as it came, "Fine, lie to your healer. Time for you to sleep, so I can get started"

He stares at you, sitting up and putting his shirt back on. "I'm not tired" He tells you. He rubs his shoulder and winces slightly.

"It'll be sore for a day or two. And, you have to sleep, so I can form a bond." You explain. When you mention a bond, he blushes slightly.

Oh, and HE blushes! It's not like it's any better for you!

To form a healing bond, the healer must stay in constant contact with the patient for 2 hours.

So you have to sit with him, TOUCHING him, for 2 HOURS. It isn't exactically your cup of tea, if ya know what I mean.

"Can't we do it later?" He asks, bringing you back to the oh so very unkind reality that is your life.

"No. I wanna get it over and done with." You mumble.

"Fine" He grumbles back, and lays down again.

"Scoot"

"What?"

"Scoot"

"Why?"

"Look, I'm not gonna lay hunched over a bed for 2 hours, while your all comfy and cozy in MY bed." You explain, "So scoot".

He arches a brow and slowly scoots over to make room. You prop yourself on the head board, and sigh, laying you hand on his. You feel it tense underneath yours.

"Oh, please, Get over yourself." you mumble.

He shoots a sideways glare, and closes his eyes. You can feel his metal shields fly up as soon as you start forming the bond. Man, Touchy.

You listen as his breathing become slow and shallow, telling you he's falling asleep.

You stare at him, trying to decide if he looks half as annoying while sleeping as he is while awake.

Okay, you admit to yourself that he has a right to be a bit of a jerk, for your giving him a hard time. Usually, you'd be really easy on him, but this time, he's almost completely healthy, so you see no reason not to pick on him. It'll do his ego good to deflate some anyhow.

You zone out and the only sound is of his heavy breathing. It's hypnotic and soon your fighting to stay awake.

2 hours later...............

FINALLY!!!! IT'S DONE!!! You sigh and slowly, carefully, slip from the bed. Kenobi can be a real Grinch when awoken.

You snag a pillow and grab some sleep pants and make your way out to the anti-chamber.

After changing, you try to get situated on your oh-so-very-uncomfortable couch. To put the couch in one word: crap. Humph. That that ungrateful ass gets to sleep in your bed and you get to sleep on crap.

You lay down, closing your eyes, and try not to think about how much you'd rather be in your bed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

okay, more to come. The song is kind of corny but I was in a corny mood. It's called "I'd Do Anything" by Simple Plan. Humor me. Um, yeah, everyone go read stories from my friend A Starlit Dreamer. Her stuff is cool. Okie Dokie, I have to fly! Don't forget to review! My Muss loves that stuff.~ewankenobi2002