Chapter Twelve
They were surrounded. As Buffy pummelled an operative, to either side of her she could see both Angels landing punches and executing kicks, and her friends and the LA gang battling too. The nearer the operatives came to her, the weaker she felt herself becoming. It was as if her power was being drained from her, drop by drop. Then she saw an operative, moving towards other Angel with a cattle prod in his hand. Driven purely by rage, she flung herself at him, batting the weapon from his hands.
"Buffy!" Other Angel's voice was one of desperation. His lovely, beautiful girlfriend had crumpled to the floor, her eyes fluttering shut. He felt himself move into a kind of shock, and before he could think, his arms were thrashing out, connecting with limbs and torsos. Then he was at her side, whispering into her hair, crushing her to him, and he did not notice the man stood over him, with an axe in his hand.
Suddenly there was the snapping of bone, followed by a body falling heavily to the floor. Other Angel looked up. LA Angel was now above him, holding out his hand to him.
"Get her out of here," LA Angel ordered.
Barely acknowledging him, other Angel quickly scooped Buffy in his arms and sprang towards the door.
"Wait!" It was Xander. Other Angel stared at the dark haired man, who was kneeling over an unconscious Dawn, blood pouring from a cut above his eye.
"Dawn…" other Angel murmured, clutching the small blonde tighter to him. Her little sister was the only family she had now; Buffy would never forgive herself if anything happened to Dawn. Then again, he would never forgive himself if anything happened to Buffy.
"Go!" yelled LA Angel, dodging the sword an operative was swinging his way.
Then there was a flash of green light, sending all of the remaining operatives crashing to the edge of the room. Cordy gaped in awe as she saw Willow, her eyes black, chanting determinedly, her hands forcibly smashing the green light into the cowering operatives. She had never seen the formerly shy, quiet girl ever command such power or presence; she knew that Willow had resurrected Buffy, but this was incredible. With a final push of energy that crackled violently across the trashed living room, Willow sent the operatives flying out the broken window.
"That's right, you're not welcome here," Xander spoke viciously, supporting his friend as she finished raising the defensive barrier.
"Don't worry," Will answered quietly, her eyes reverting to normal colour. "They won't be back." As Xander felt Willow sag slightly against him, he gave her a small hug.
"How can you be so sure?" LA Angel asked, his face etched in concern.
Will looked at him evenly, confident in her ability to dispel any doubts from his mind. "Because if they come within 10 feet of this house, I'll kill them," she said simply, squeezing Xander's hand tight. He, Dawn and Buffy were her family, the people who would stand by her no matter what, the people she would protect, no matter what. Ever since Tara had been taken from her, Willow had felt so alone, so empty. At first she had tried to fill that hole with vengeance and fury, then terrible, bone-gnawing guilt. That phase had lasted months, all through her long stay at the Sanctuary. Then she had returned here, the place she had most dreaded, and she had found trust and acceptance in the people she thought she had lost forever. "Anyway," she added as an afterthought, "they'll be all confused for the next few days. Cool side effect, don't y' think?"
LA Angel gave her a wry but genuine smile. He had worried that Willow's homecoming might not be successful, that Xander would not let the pain of the past go and let them all heal. His thoughts were interrupted as a small groan came from Buffy. "Buffy?" His voice was soft, uncertain, as he watched his former girlfriend stir in other Angel's arms.
"Hey," she murmured sleepily, looking intently into other Angel's eyes, as he ran his fingers through her long blonde hair. Then seeing the concern in other Angel's eyes, and mirrored in that of his counterpart, she slipped out of his arms, demanding, "What's going on?" Her eyes then settled on Dawn, who was now lying on the couch. "Dawnie, oh Dawnie."
As her sister threw her arms around her, Dawn began to come to. "Buffy," Dawn began. "Really needing to breathe now."
"Sorry," Buffy said hastily, helping Dawn to sit up whilst assessing her for any signs of injury.
Other Angel crouched in front of Buffy, laying his hands over her's. "They tried to take you, love," he told her gently.
The memories came rushing back to her then, and she looked at him lovingly. "I remember," she responded. "They weakened me and you, both of you, fought with me, to save me." LA Angel stepped forward then, giving her a small smile. "Anytime."
At the other side of the room, a very annoyed looking Cordelia stood, shaking her head. "You two are just unbelievable…" she stated hotly, beginning to leave the room, as Fred gazed after her utterly shocked.
"Cordelia," LA Angel warned, not in the mood to hear another lecture from his one of his dearest friends. He knew she believed what she was saying was true, but it exasperated him how she seemed to have no awareness of just how far out of line she was.
"No, if Cordelia's got something to say, let's hear it," Buffy insisted, her hand gripping other Angel's tightly.
"Oh yay," Xander mumbled, much to Dawn's guffawing.
Cordelia turned round, giving her most intimidating stare to Buffy and the two Angels. "You're all acting like it's the happy ending. This is the Buffy and two Angels show - tell me how that ends happily!"
Other Angel spoke then, surprising everyone. "Well, maybe this time will be different."
Cordelia frowned at him, before answering bluntly, "I'm sorry, Angel, but it never does. And until you and our Angel are back as one, this is not over. And we're needed in LA." Then she left the room, leaving everyone quietly taking in her doom-laden speech.
Dawn was the first to break the silence. "Don't listen to her Buffy, She's just a spiteful -" Dawn broke off at her older sister's horrified gasp.
"Don't even think about completing that sentence," Buffy commanded. "And anyway, I never listen to Cordelia." As she said that, she knew from the look on LA Angel's face, that he at least had. She felt her stomach churn, as she realised what that look meant, the look she knew all too well. Angel had already made a decision, and she just knew it would be one she would not like at all.
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Following his tryst with Lilah, Wesley was feeling slightly uneasy. He had known she was hiding something from him, undoubtedly callous and designed to hurt those he cared about, but it still had not stopped him, nor had it stopped him any time before. Now the call he had received from Sunnydale had more than confirmed his worst suspicions, and he still was not sure he could stay away from her. He felt stupid. His desire fro Lilah swallowed him whole, made him unable to reason when it really mattered. She had ordered those operatives to kidnap Buffy; she had been the one to have that spell cast to drain the power from Buffy too. All of this for the prestige she would gain at her law firm from the raising of Gwah Ra Kal. If the operatives had succeeded, Angel would have blamed him - he knew Wesley was involved with Lilah. Wesley was only thankful that Willow had been able to defeat them.
"You look thoughtful," Spike chirped. "What's the matter, did she eat you alive?"
Wesley tiredly looked at him, barely caring that Spike was insulting him yet again. "Is the demon secure?"
Rolling his eyes, Spike snapped, "For the four hundredth and fifty sixth time - yes! Bloody hell, Wesley, are your panties too tight?" Grabbing his coat, Wesley headed for the door. "Hang on, where are you going?" demanded Spike.
"Out," was Wesley's flat reply.
"So you're leaving me to babysit demon boy and his pesky friend here. Charming," Spike muttered, clearly unimpressed.
"Hey!" interjected Vince testily. "I am not pesky, and I am so not his friend."
"Get back to Sunnydale," Wesley ordered. "That's where you're needed. Willow wants to have a little chat with the demon about the spell it cast."
"Cool," Vince cooed, rubbing his hands gleefully at the thought of another incognito mission.
Wesley did not catch Spike's reply as he left; nor did he particularly care. He felt anger coursing through him. It had to end with Lilah and it had to end now. He had allowed himself the fantasy of sleeping with the enemy too long, and now it was time to face facts. Wesley had a mission: he wanted to fight evil and he wanted to help Angel. Angel still had not forgiven him and he in turn was far from forgiving Angel - but he missed them all. It was time for him to go back to the fold.
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"I thought you were out here," Buffy said softly. LA Angel turned and looked at her, his formerly serious expression lightening enough to allow a tiny grin.
"Yeah, well, old habits die hard," he joked half-heartedly, raising his eyes again to the starry sky. "Brooding really doesn't work well with a crowd."
"Sorry," she offered wistfully, coming to stand by his side. "It really is a beautiful night."
"So why are you out here with me?" he asked bluntly, still not looking at her.
"Because we need to talk," she responded, her voice strangely calm. He finally glanced at her then, his eyes full of concern. He had never seen this side of Buffy. It was as if she was functioning on autopilot, repressing all her emotions inside. He had sensed her tension at hearing Cordy's words, and her obvious turmoil. What was surprising to him now, was that she was attempting to hide it from him, the one person she had always been honest with. Then again, he was no longer the only Angel in her life; and he was the Angel who had left. His replacement had much more chance of full Buffy disclosure than him. "I need to know what you're going to do. About you and Angel," she finished.
He took a deep, unneeded breath, and twiddled his hands nervously. "Look, Buffy, I don't know how to say this-" he began.
"I knew it!" she screamed frantically. "I knew it! You can't bear to see me happy can you? If it's okay for you to move on with Cordelia, why can't you let me have him?"
Firmly grasping her shoulders, he forced her to look him in the eye. "Firstly, I am not with Cordelia, nor have I ever been or ever will be" he stated emphatically. "And as for seeing you happy, that's all I've ever wanted. That's why I left."
A bitter laugh escaped her lips, as she shook herself free. "You know it's funny. I always thought you were really smart, but it turns out you're a dumbass!" she taunted, her voice breaking. "When you left, it broke my heart. And you know something, Angel? It never healed. So don't play the martyr and act like it was all for my own good!" She kept her back turned from him, so he would not see the tears that were beginning to run down her face. She hated him so much right now, hated that he could cause so much emotion in her without so much as a touch of his hand.
"I'm sorry you feel like that. I never meant to hurt you," he told her sincerely, his heart inwardly shattering at the pain he could see in the woman before him. "I've been hurt by this too. I've had to give you up, for things, for reasons I can never really explain to you." Without turning around, she shook her head, her small frame visibly trembling. He laid a hand on her shoulder. "It never ever changed the fact I loved you."
She looked down at her feet, her voice choking, "But you can't. I have a guy now who loves me more than anything in the whole wide world and you're going to take him from me. Again." She then turned, allowing him to see her tear soaked face. "I love you so much, I always did, and now I've finally got you back, you're going to take him, aren't you? Please don't, Angel, please," she pleaded, her voice wracked with sobs.
"Shh, Buffy, it's okay," he soothed, taking her into his arms.
"No it's not, it'll never be okay," she cried, her words muffled as she buried her face against his chest. "Not when he's gone."
"I'm so sorry, Buffy," he murmured, stroking her hair, "but I have to. There are people out there who rely on me. And I can't let them down."
She gazed up at him then, a new fury in her eyes. "What about me? If you do this, you're letting me down!" she accused harshly. "You're way out of line."
"No, he's not." Buffy whipped round, startled, separating herself from LA Angel's arms. Other Angel had appeared suddenly behind them.
"Angel," Buffy began, unable to believe what she was hearing.
"Buffy, he's right," other Angel said insistently. "Spike's bought the demon back here. It told Willow that Angel is not whole without me." She shrugged her shoulders petulantly, and he caught her hand tight. "Do you know what that means? Without me, he's weakened, he's not complete," he said with determination. "It's not right, Buffy. How can we put our happiness above the safety of the world, of the people we're supposed to protect? People could die without him, without their champion at full strength."
LA Angel felt his mouth go dry, his mind suddenly bombarded with images from the Forgotten Day. As he watched Buffy and the other Angel embrace, he felt he was reliving it all over again - the pain, the anguish, the wrenching separation and unfairness of the not-enough-time.
As if she could force him to stay, Buffy tangled her hands around other Angel's neck, pulling him closer, her tiny body pressing tightly against his. "It's not fair," she wept, her hands lacing through his hair. "I can't lose you now."
Now openly crying, other Angel softly kissed her forehead. "Don't worry, love, you'll deal," he promised, wrapping his arms more tightly around her.
"But how can I?" she asked, her voice shaking with emotion, her eyes pleading with him to stay. "Knowing what we had, what we could have had?"
Putting a finger gently under her chin, he forced her to look up. "Because you'll still have me," he told her categorically, looking over at his counterpart. "And when we're back together again, I'm not going anywhere."
"Promise?" she whispered, gazing into his eyes. In response, he kissed her passionately, pouring all the love he felt for her into that one kiss.
LA Angel turned away, unable to watch any longer. His heart felt heavy from all the anguish he had just witnessed, and he felt responsible. Why, whatever he did in respect to her, did it always end in her misery? At the thought of being joined with other Angel he felt a flat panic. What if her hurt her again? What if he could not protect her? There would be too much of other Angel in him for to stay away from Buffy. LA Angel wished he could postpone things, think things over, but it was already too late. Willow was upstairs, preparing to perform the spell. Tonight they would be back together again.
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Buffy gazed woefully at the two Angels stood in front of her. She was finding it hard to believe that was the last time she would see her Angel, that she would never be able to touch him again or kiss him. Though she gave him a brave smile, inside she was breaking, having to suppress the urge to hold him to her and refuse to let him go. It was so hard having to do the right thing, having to give everything up for a sacred duty you had no choice in. In her world, everything was always stripped away, while she had to stand and fight. This time would be no different. Even with her heart in tatters, Buffy would still go on, pretending to her friends she was fine. It was an act she had perfected since Angel had left the first time.
As Willow began to chant, other Angel winked at her, mouthing, I love you. Then the flame on the candle extinguished, leaving only one Angel.
Buffy held her breath, feeling slightly nauseous. It had happened, it had actually happened. Angel was gone. She felt the sobs build up inside her, threatening to burst. Then Angel opened his eyes, blinked, and looked straight at her.
"Buffy?" he murmured, his voice slightly confused. "What's going on?"
Unable to hold it in any longer, she fled the room, her eyes streaming with tears. She had lost her Angel - and now she was certain she was going to lose this one too. That was an eventuality Buffy could not bear.
To be continued.