Aishuu Offers:
Alter Egos
A Card Captor Sakura Fanfiction
mbsilvana@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: All hail CLAMP. Enough said.
Dedication: This one is for me. Because I need to remind myself that I write for me as well.
CHAPTER THREE
I heard the door to the lobby open, and instead of going to get him, I decided to let Yukito make his own way in. "I'm in my office! Come on in!" I called, frantically scribbling notes from my last appointment. The OCD socialite had tried my patience, challenging me at every turn, and I was looking forward to Yukito's gentleness.
He appeared moments later, swinging his bag a bit as he popped into the room with amazing energy. His smile was warm as he waved and headed over to a chair, settling himself after glancing at the dreamcatcher on the wall. I hadn't given into the temptation to move it, though the devil in me had had to be ruthlessly suppressed.
He blinked a bit, trying to adjust to the dim lighting of the room. "Hello, Imiyo-san."
I gave him a relieved grin as I shoved Kanna's file into a drawer. "Hi, Yukito-san!" I rose to my feet and walked across the room with relative grace, pausing to grab my cup of lukewarm green tea from the windowsill where I had left it. "How are you feeling?" I asked.
He rolled his eyes a bit. "Could be better. Getting over a winter cold - I always get them this time of year, and I just had a killer test in calculus. I really hate calculus." He frowned a bit. "Everyone thinks I'm naturally gifted at school, but I do have to spend a lot of time studying."
"You don't like math?" I asked curiously.
He grinned a bit. "I like it!" he protested. "I just hate this unit. I'm rather of the opinion that Sir Isaac Newton should have been been dragged into the street and shot... Repeatedly."
Laughter burbled out of me. "I didn't know you were so violent!" I teased.
"I'm not. But when you put imaginary numbers in front of me, I make an exception."
I placed my finger against my chin thoughtfully. "It's strange how people surprise you. I would have thought you'd like math... It's logical."
"Logic is one of the last things that enters into my life," Yukito said quietly.
"Care to expand on that?" I prodded.
"Not really." He seemed reflective before speaking again. "It's been a long week. I feel a bit numb mentally, actually. Too much stress."
"Then how about a game?" I suggested. I had been waiting for an opening.
He shifted forward, his eyes lighting up a bit. "A game?"
I had instinctively sensed that Yukito would be up for games. There was something playful about the way he rose to my teasing. "Well, it's a version of truth or dare, actually... But since I'm a counselor, it's all about truth," I said.
He fell back into the chair, and I saw him curl into himself. "Truth is a frightening thing."
I wasn't surprised he realized it. Many of my clients did, since they had known trauma. It was only the innocent who didn't realize the dangerous nature of truth. "And that's what makes the game exciting," I said. I took a sip of my tea, swirling around the bit that remained in the bottom of the cup. "The challenge is to answer with the truth... That's the dare."
"What are the rules?" he asked reasonably enough.
He was biting, I thought.
"The rules are simple. Usually I use it in group sessions, but since we're playing together, we'll up the ante a bit. I'm going to play, so we'll just ask each other. The game is called 'The One True Thing' and it begins by a player stating a true thing about themselves. The other responds with a true statement on the same topic. It's pretty easy... And hard."
He considered it, and I knew he was smart enough to see all the angles right off. "It's a trust game - and a game of wits. Reveal as little about yourself while getting the other to state more about themselves."
I nodded to encourage him. "We can also ask a bit more, to elaborate, if we're curious, but after you state the truth, you don't have to do anything more."
"We take turns starting?"
"Yes. I'll begin to show you the way it works. All statements begin with 'The One True thing..."
"Kind of like jeopardy!" Yukito exclaimed, and this time his laughter was a bit forced.
"I hope you don't feel this is like that! This is supposed to build trust between us. If it makes you truly uncomfortable, we can stop, but it will push the boundaries of your comfort zone a little. We won't get anywhere with your therapy if we don't take a moment to explore yourself - and yes, that will make you uncomfortable at times. Self discovery is not a smooth path."
"What about you, Imiyo-san?" he asked, and I smiled at the concern in his eyes. "If you're sharing truths..."
"Yukito, to be a therapist, I have to know myself. I know about the dark and shallow parts of myself, and I've reconciled myself to them."
He nodded, and gave me that sweet smile of his that was so appealingly innocent. "I'll play."
Success! I thought. It was through years of training that I didn't grin.
"The one true thing is that my favorite flowers are roses." I grinned. "We'll start easy."
"What color?" he asked. A devil of mischief lit his eye, and I could tell he was going to get into the spirit of the game. He played fully.
"Any!" I answered. "Though I prefer people to give them to me... They're expensive."
"Why not grow them yourself?" he suggested. "There's a satisfaction in nurturing them."
"I have the proverbial black thumb... No, it's worse than that. I look at a plant the wrong way and it starts withering in protest." He tried to smother his laughter behind his hand to be polite, but I waved a negligent hand. "Oh, go ahead and laugh."
He finally gave in and I found his laughter melodic and pleasant. "I - I... The one true thing is that my favorite flowers are snowdrops."
"Snowdrops? That's a bit different," I commented. "Most people like orchids or roses or lilies... Something mainstream!"
Yukito blushed a bit. "I like them... What can I say? Many of my friends like Nadeshiko."
"It's the town flower... We're often fond of what we're exposed to... Or have good memories of."
He smiled at me, and there was a teasing edge to it. "Do you have good memories of roses, Imiyo-san?"
I smirked. "Not like that! We're playing a game, Yukito... You'll have to try to get it out of me with a properly placed truth!"
"Oh... So it's my turn to begin with a truth?"
"I started the last round, so yes." I glanced into my teacup, shrugged a bit, before emptying the cold liquid into the nearby plant.
"Imiyo-san! It's no wonder you kill plants!" Yukito said. He rose to his feet, walking over to my abused plant, forgetting about our game.
"There wasn't any cream or sugar in it... It was just tea!" I protested. His censure caused me to blush a bit. I had made him blush. Now he was having revenge without even trying.
"Plants can tell if you care about them..." he said, and he brushed his fingertips over it gently. To my amazement, the plant seemed to lean towards his touch... I rubbed my eyes, wondering if I should get my glasses out. I only wore them to read, but sometimes late in the evening I wore them constantly. I was a stubborn old lady, too vain to admit she was aging.
"Well, I have the cleaning service take of them..." I said, feeling a bit like a chastised child. There was something about his gentle reproach I found more daunting than ten screaming patients. He sighed and caressed the leaf gently.
"I think you've made up your mind that plants and you don't get along... It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you treat them a bit nicer, they'll respond better. I know you like animals... You said you had a therapy dog, so you must." He sighed and turned back to his chair. "The one true thing about me is that I love everything, probably too much," he said gently.
Yukito was fragile at that moment, and if I pounced, I would be able to wring amazing amounts of information from him, destroying the bonds of trust we were building in the process. I decided to play by the rules, for now. Another opportunity would come, though I did wonder what he meant by loving things too much.
"The one true thing is that while I love, I guard my heart from those who would hurt me." I revealed that intensely personal truth, intending to show that I wanted to play fair.
He was silent at that for a while. "How can you love, when you protect yourself?" he asked after a minute.
"Love is something that defies description. We can love others without letting them love us... I'm like that. When I was twenty, I lost my fiancé to a car accident."
"I'm sorry," he said, and from the look in his eyes, I could tell it wasn't empty condolences. He genuinely empathized with me.
"It was a while ago, Yukito-san. I've come to terms with it." My eyes were sharp as I studied him. "If we do not know sorrow in our lives, we cannot care for others."
"That's true," he said softly. "A child loves innocently, but an adult loves completely. Somehow an adult's love seems deeper, for they know the consequences of sorrow."
"To love is to take a risk. I've taken that risk before... Maybe someday, when I meet a special person again, I'll make that decision to take it again." I shrugged a bit. "Most likely not. Shinobu was my most important person... I continue to live, but there will never be another to take his place. Ours was a great romance. I was lucky to have known him."
"Don't you get lonely?"
I quirked an eyebrow. "No, I think we'll get back to the game," I pointed out primly.
He snapped his fingers with mock frustration. "Darn it. Well, you're up."
I giggled a bit, even though I hated the way it sounded. Middle-aged women should not giggle; it was undignified. "The one true thing about me is that I'm at peace with myself."
He stared a bit resentfully. "That's just evil."
"I'm playing hardball, Yukito. You got me on the last one. My turn."
He went still, a kind of perfect stillness that made me examine him closely to see if I could even see him breathing. His eyes didn't blink, and I couldn't detect any movement at all, something eerie. "You were talking about comfort zones... This tests mine," he said, breaking the moment. "The one true thing is that I don't know what peace is anymore." His eyes were drawn to the dreamcatcher, and the stillness returned, although it wasn't as complete as before.
"Did you ever?" I asked, wondering if I was pushing him too hard. Then Yukito drew his eyes away from those feathers to focus on my face.
"I used to think I did, but that was before I knew about Yue. And before Touya and I accepted we were...as we were. It was when I believed in the false memories of my childhood."
I wondered about those. False memories? That didn't jive with what I knew of multiples. I'd have to do some research, again. I'd been reading up on the condition, of course, but a month of reading didn't make up for actual experience. Yukito was an exception to many rules. "Peace is how we define it," I told him gently.
"And some of us have dictionaries in different languages," he retorted, and I wondered if he was joking or not.
"Maybe. Peace is something we all strive for. I didn't say I KNEW peace... I said I was AT peace... I've accepted what I am... I think you're here to accept the shadowy part of yourself."
"To accept Yue?" Yukito said, and I saw a line tighten in his brow. He was angry, and I smiled inside. Good. We were making progress. Yukito's sense of self was being roused.
"No. To accept Yukito." I stared him down. "You're not happy with something about Yukito, not just Yue. There's more to you than your struggle with Yue... You're more complex than that." I waited for his reaction.
"The one true thing about me is that I'm not just a smiling face," he returned, and his voice was level, and for a second I almost thought I saw a flash of blue in his eyes; something I must have imagined, since there was no other sign of Yue appearing. This was still Yukito, my instincts told me, not his other self.
"What are you, then?" I asked.
"I am... a friend. Everyone sees me as a smile, someone always willing to laugh and who loves to eat. A laughing person who's good at everything, who everyone likes. Someone gentle, who would never hurt anyone... But that's not true." He clenched his fist, and I had to steel myself to keep from drawing away.
"The truth?" I asked.
The game was forgotten as he met my eyes. "The truth is I could hurt anyone who threatened those in my charge. Maybe... Even kill them. I think I could."
The phrasing, again, was strange. Sometimes Yukito used strange turns of phrase that I found charming, but this time, I found it ominous.
The clock chimed eight, and I realized that our session was over. I wasn't sure if I was relieved or not.
Who would you kill for, Yukito? Touya? Sakura? I wondered as I rose to gather my appointment book.
"Yukito, if you want, we can play next week. We didn't really get too far... We kept sidetracking each other," I said softly.
He shook his head. "The game's fun, but... a bit wearing. Maybe some other time, but I think I need some time to think. I said a lot of things I didn't mean to. Which is the purpose of the game, I bet."
I nodded. "It is. Next week?"
"Of course. Don't kill your plants, okay?" He stood and walked over to the plant I had unintentionally abused. "If you're kind to it, it'll grow."
And so will you, I thought as I penciled in Yukito's name for our usual time. But what will you grow into?
^^^^^^
September 20
Fourth Session with patient Tsukishiro Yukito. Progress continues sporadically.
We hardly covered anything about Yue; acceptable, as this was a trust building session, as I had planned. Patient agreed to play the One True Thing, and though he was perceptive of the hidden nature of the game, he threw himself into it. Was quite clever; he weaseled some information out of me I don't normally talk about.
Yukito is indeed a fully recognized alter. There are shadows inside of him, and I'm relieved to see that he does have self-defense mechanism of his own, rather than just switching to another alter. I tried some mild confrontation, and he responded to the stimulus in normal, and acceptable, fashion. Also is very fond of plants... must make a note to not abuse them.
The dreamcatcher on my wall fascinates Yukito for some reason. I haven't actually determined why, but it's starting to annoy me. I've never seen anyone with such a fixation with a decoration. I'm seriously thinking about redecorating... but since it seems to offer Yukito comfort; that would be childish. When our trust is more established, I'll ask him about it.
He did say one thing that struck me as odd... a reference to false memories. I'll need to research this, but I don't believe it's part of his condition. Multiples suffer from blackouts, not created memories.
Next week is a Himitsu week. We'll see how he likes my little secret....
^^^^^^
Notes: Yukito's fav flower is canon. His ease with Imiyo's plants - well, since wood is under Yue, I made an assumption that Yukito would likely have some abilities with them as well! Imiyo's understand of Yukito's nature as an MPD (as she believes) is less than perfect as it is not her specialty. She DID try to redirect him in the first session, but he was stubborn. ^_~ Also, some people have wondered about her style - she's eclectic. She uses bits from many schools of psychological thought... basically whatever works!
Credits: With a psychological twister like this, the writer needs help to keep from getting lost! Thanks to Krys for being a beta - finally a girl who can keep up with me and follow my convoluted thinking! Special thanks to Xannee for introducing us! Also credit to Lyra for being there to help me in my time of computer need! More thanks to Gold (and Krys again!) for her Yukito/Yue philosophy off the CLAMPesque ML. It really DOES help. Thanks to the especially informative thoughts and comments of Raye Johnsen, Sophia Prestor, KnightHunter, Verna, Lau, Mateem Bluewing, TamChronin and Desdra! Would I had room to list everyone who made me smile these past three weeks, but I really appreciate the comments you've all sent! Remember, feedback is the salary of fanfic writers!
Alter Egos
A Card Captor Sakura Fanfiction
mbsilvana@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: All hail CLAMP. Enough said.
Dedication: This one is for me. Because I need to remind myself that I write for me as well.
CHAPTER THREE
I heard the door to the lobby open, and instead of going to get him, I decided to let Yukito make his own way in. "I'm in my office! Come on in!" I called, frantically scribbling notes from my last appointment. The OCD socialite had tried my patience, challenging me at every turn, and I was looking forward to Yukito's gentleness.
He appeared moments later, swinging his bag a bit as he popped into the room with amazing energy. His smile was warm as he waved and headed over to a chair, settling himself after glancing at the dreamcatcher on the wall. I hadn't given into the temptation to move it, though the devil in me had had to be ruthlessly suppressed.
He blinked a bit, trying to adjust to the dim lighting of the room. "Hello, Imiyo-san."
I gave him a relieved grin as I shoved Kanna's file into a drawer. "Hi, Yukito-san!" I rose to my feet and walked across the room with relative grace, pausing to grab my cup of lukewarm green tea from the windowsill where I had left it. "How are you feeling?" I asked.
He rolled his eyes a bit. "Could be better. Getting over a winter cold - I always get them this time of year, and I just had a killer test in calculus. I really hate calculus." He frowned a bit. "Everyone thinks I'm naturally gifted at school, but I do have to spend a lot of time studying."
"You don't like math?" I asked curiously.
He grinned a bit. "I like it!" he protested. "I just hate this unit. I'm rather of the opinion that Sir Isaac Newton should have been been dragged into the street and shot... Repeatedly."
Laughter burbled out of me. "I didn't know you were so violent!" I teased.
"I'm not. But when you put imaginary numbers in front of me, I make an exception."
I placed my finger against my chin thoughtfully. "It's strange how people surprise you. I would have thought you'd like math... It's logical."
"Logic is one of the last things that enters into my life," Yukito said quietly.
"Care to expand on that?" I prodded.
"Not really." He seemed reflective before speaking again. "It's been a long week. I feel a bit numb mentally, actually. Too much stress."
"Then how about a game?" I suggested. I had been waiting for an opening.
He shifted forward, his eyes lighting up a bit. "A game?"
I had instinctively sensed that Yukito would be up for games. There was something playful about the way he rose to my teasing. "Well, it's a version of truth or dare, actually... But since I'm a counselor, it's all about truth," I said.
He fell back into the chair, and I saw him curl into himself. "Truth is a frightening thing."
I wasn't surprised he realized it. Many of my clients did, since they had known trauma. It was only the innocent who didn't realize the dangerous nature of truth. "And that's what makes the game exciting," I said. I took a sip of my tea, swirling around the bit that remained in the bottom of the cup. "The challenge is to answer with the truth... That's the dare."
"What are the rules?" he asked reasonably enough.
He was biting, I thought.
"The rules are simple. Usually I use it in group sessions, but since we're playing together, we'll up the ante a bit. I'm going to play, so we'll just ask each other. The game is called 'The One True Thing' and it begins by a player stating a true thing about themselves. The other responds with a true statement on the same topic. It's pretty easy... And hard."
He considered it, and I knew he was smart enough to see all the angles right off. "It's a trust game - and a game of wits. Reveal as little about yourself while getting the other to state more about themselves."
I nodded to encourage him. "We can also ask a bit more, to elaborate, if we're curious, but after you state the truth, you don't have to do anything more."
"We take turns starting?"
"Yes. I'll begin to show you the way it works. All statements begin with 'The One True thing..."
"Kind of like jeopardy!" Yukito exclaimed, and this time his laughter was a bit forced.
"I hope you don't feel this is like that! This is supposed to build trust between us. If it makes you truly uncomfortable, we can stop, but it will push the boundaries of your comfort zone a little. We won't get anywhere with your therapy if we don't take a moment to explore yourself - and yes, that will make you uncomfortable at times. Self discovery is not a smooth path."
"What about you, Imiyo-san?" he asked, and I smiled at the concern in his eyes. "If you're sharing truths..."
"Yukito, to be a therapist, I have to know myself. I know about the dark and shallow parts of myself, and I've reconciled myself to them."
He nodded, and gave me that sweet smile of his that was so appealingly innocent. "I'll play."
Success! I thought. It was through years of training that I didn't grin.
"The one true thing is that my favorite flowers are roses." I grinned. "We'll start easy."
"What color?" he asked. A devil of mischief lit his eye, and I could tell he was going to get into the spirit of the game. He played fully.
"Any!" I answered. "Though I prefer people to give them to me... They're expensive."
"Why not grow them yourself?" he suggested. "There's a satisfaction in nurturing them."
"I have the proverbial black thumb... No, it's worse than that. I look at a plant the wrong way and it starts withering in protest." He tried to smother his laughter behind his hand to be polite, but I waved a negligent hand. "Oh, go ahead and laugh."
He finally gave in and I found his laughter melodic and pleasant. "I - I... The one true thing is that my favorite flowers are snowdrops."
"Snowdrops? That's a bit different," I commented. "Most people like orchids or roses or lilies... Something mainstream!"
Yukito blushed a bit. "I like them... What can I say? Many of my friends like Nadeshiko."
"It's the town flower... We're often fond of what we're exposed to... Or have good memories of."
He smiled at me, and there was a teasing edge to it. "Do you have good memories of roses, Imiyo-san?"
I smirked. "Not like that! We're playing a game, Yukito... You'll have to try to get it out of me with a properly placed truth!"
"Oh... So it's my turn to begin with a truth?"
"I started the last round, so yes." I glanced into my teacup, shrugged a bit, before emptying the cold liquid into the nearby plant.
"Imiyo-san! It's no wonder you kill plants!" Yukito said. He rose to his feet, walking over to my abused plant, forgetting about our game.
"There wasn't any cream or sugar in it... It was just tea!" I protested. His censure caused me to blush a bit. I had made him blush. Now he was having revenge without even trying.
"Plants can tell if you care about them..." he said, and he brushed his fingertips over it gently. To my amazement, the plant seemed to lean towards his touch... I rubbed my eyes, wondering if I should get my glasses out. I only wore them to read, but sometimes late in the evening I wore them constantly. I was a stubborn old lady, too vain to admit she was aging.
"Well, I have the cleaning service take of them..." I said, feeling a bit like a chastised child. There was something about his gentle reproach I found more daunting than ten screaming patients. He sighed and caressed the leaf gently.
"I think you've made up your mind that plants and you don't get along... It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you treat them a bit nicer, they'll respond better. I know you like animals... You said you had a therapy dog, so you must." He sighed and turned back to his chair. "The one true thing about me is that I love everything, probably too much," he said gently.
Yukito was fragile at that moment, and if I pounced, I would be able to wring amazing amounts of information from him, destroying the bonds of trust we were building in the process. I decided to play by the rules, for now. Another opportunity would come, though I did wonder what he meant by loving things too much.
"The one true thing is that while I love, I guard my heart from those who would hurt me." I revealed that intensely personal truth, intending to show that I wanted to play fair.
He was silent at that for a while. "How can you love, when you protect yourself?" he asked after a minute.
"Love is something that defies description. We can love others without letting them love us... I'm like that. When I was twenty, I lost my fiancé to a car accident."
"I'm sorry," he said, and from the look in his eyes, I could tell it wasn't empty condolences. He genuinely empathized with me.
"It was a while ago, Yukito-san. I've come to terms with it." My eyes were sharp as I studied him. "If we do not know sorrow in our lives, we cannot care for others."
"That's true," he said softly. "A child loves innocently, but an adult loves completely. Somehow an adult's love seems deeper, for they know the consequences of sorrow."
"To love is to take a risk. I've taken that risk before... Maybe someday, when I meet a special person again, I'll make that decision to take it again." I shrugged a bit. "Most likely not. Shinobu was my most important person... I continue to live, but there will never be another to take his place. Ours was a great romance. I was lucky to have known him."
"Don't you get lonely?"
I quirked an eyebrow. "No, I think we'll get back to the game," I pointed out primly.
He snapped his fingers with mock frustration. "Darn it. Well, you're up."
I giggled a bit, even though I hated the way it sounded. Middle-aged women should not giggle; it was undignified. "The one true thing about me is that I'm at peace with myself."
He stared a bit resentfully. "That's just evil."
"I'm playing hardball, Yukito. You got me on the last one. My turn."
He went still, a kind of perfect stillness that made me examine him closely to see if I could even see him breathing. His eyes didn't blink, and I couldn't detect any movement at all, something eerie. "You were talking about comfort zones... This tests mine," he said, breaking the moment. "The one true thing is that I don't know what peace is anymore." His eyes were drawn to the dreamcatcher, and the stillness returned, although it wasn't as complete as before.
"Did you ever?" I asked, wondering if I was pushing him too hard. Then Yukito drew his eyes away from those feathers to focus on my face.
"I used to think I did, but that was before I knew about Yue. And before Touya and I accepted we were...as we were. It was when I believed in the false memories of my childhood."
I wondered about those. False memories? That didn't jive with what I knew of multiples. I'd have to do some research, again. I'd been reading up on the condition, of course, but a month of reading didn't make up for actual experience. Yukito was an exception to many rules. "Peace is how we define it," I told him gently.
"And some of us have dictionaries in different languages," he retorted, and I wondered if he was joking or not.
"Maybe. Peace is something we all strive for. I didn't say I KNEW peace... I said I was AT peace... I've accepted what I am... I think you're here to accept the shadowy part of yourself."
"To accept Yue?" Yukito said, and I saw a line tighten in his brow. He was angry, and I smiled inside. Good. We were making progress. Yukito's sense of self was being roused.
"No. To accept Yukito." I stared him down. "You're not happy with something about Yukito, not just Yue. There's more to you than your struggle with Yue... You're more complex than that." I waited for his reaction.
"The one true thing about me is that I'm not just a smiling face," he returned, and his voice was level, and for a second I almost thought I saw a flash of blue in his eyes; something I must have imagined, since there was no other sign of Yue appearing. This was still Yukito, my instincts told me, not his other self.
"What are you, then?" I asked.
"I am... a friend. Everyone sees me as a smile, someone always willing to laugh and who loves to eat. A laughing person who's good at everything, who everyone likes. Someone gentle, who would never hurt anyone... But that's not true." He clenched his fist, and I had to steel myself to keep from drawing away.
"The truth?" I asked.
The game was forgotten as he met my eyes. "The truth is I could hurt anyone who threatened those in my charge. Maybe... Even kill them. I think I could."
The phrasing, again, was strange. Sometimes Yukito used strange turns of phrase that I found charming, but this time, I found it ominous.
The clock chimed eight, and I realized that our session was over. I wasn't sure if I was relieved or not.
Who would you kill for, Yukito? Touya? Sakura? I wondered as I rose to gather my appointment book.
"Yukito, if you want, we can play next week. We didn't really get too far... We kept sidetracking each other," I said softly.
He shook his head. "The game's fun, but... a bit wearing. Maybe some other time, but I think I need some time to think. I said a lot of things I didn't mean to. Which is the purpose of the game, I bet."
I nodded. "It is. Next week?"
"Of course. Don't kill your plants, okay?" He stood and walked over to the plant I had unintentionally abused. "If you're kind to it, it'll grow."
And so will you, I thought as I penciled in Yukito's name for our usual time. But what will you grow into?
^^^^^^
September 20
Fourth Session with patient Tsukishiro Yukito. Progress continues sporadically.
We hardly covered anything about Yue; acceptable, as this was a trust building session, as I had planned. Patient agreed to play the One True Thing, and though he was perceptive of the hidden nature of the game, he threw himself into it. Was quite clever; he weaseled some information out of me I don't normally talk about.
Yukito is indeed a fully recognized alter. There are shadows inside of him, and I'm relieved to see that he does have self-defense mechanism of his own, rather than just switching to another alter. I tried some mild confrontation, and he responded to the stimulus in normal, and acceptable, fashion. Also is very fond of plants... must make a note to not abuse them.
The dreamcatcher on my wall fascinates Yukito for some reason. I haven't actually determined why, but it's starting to annoy me. I've never seen anyone with such a fixation with a decoration. I'm seriously thinking about redecorating... but since it seems to offer Yukito comfort; that would be childish. When our trust is more established, I'll ask him about it.
He did say one thing that struck me as odd... a reference to false memories. I'll need to research this, but I don't believe it's part of his condition. Multiples suffer from blackouts, not created memories.
Next week is a Himitsu week. We'll see how he likes my little secret....
^^^^^^
Notes: Yukito's fav flower is canon. His ease with Imiyo's plants - well, since wood is under Yue, I made an assumption that Yukito would likely have some abilities with them as well! Imiyo's understand of Yukito's nature as an MPD (as she believes) is less than perfect as it is not her specialty. She DID try to redirect him in the first session, but he was stubborn. ^_~ Also, some people have wondered about her style - she's eclectic. She uses bits from many schools of psychological thought... basically whatever works!
Credits: With a psychological twister like this, the writer needs help to keep from getting lost! Thanks to Krys for being a beta - finally a girl who can keep up with me and follow my convoluted thinking! Special thanks to Xannee for introducing us! Also credit to Lyra for being there to help me in my time of computer need! More thanks to Gold (and Krys again!) for her Yukito/Yue philosophy off the CLAMPesque ML. It really DOES help. Thanks to the especially informative thoughts and comments of Raye Johnsen, Sophia Prestor, KnightHunter, Verna, Lau, Mateem Bluewing, TamChronin and Desdra! Would I had room to list everyone who made me smile these past three weeks, but I really appreciate the comments you've all sent! Remember, feedback is the salary of fanfic writers!