PeRFecT
Chapter 9
She woke for sunrise and found him curled up beside her in fetal position. She didn't question it- had no desire to dwell on something so natural and so very needed. In sleep, he was both cherubic and devilish, but-more importantly- pained. The curaga high was fading.
She didn't move and barely breathed. To disturb the moment would be a sin.
Her hands itched to caress his brow and cup his chin, to put a texture to the tawny-hue of his skin. She wanted to wrap her arms around his neck and entangle her hands in his bed-rustled hair while pressing her breasts to his suede-clad chest. That said, she wanted to devour his mouth and grab at every single section of his body all at once. She wanted him to hurt her and, even more so, to hurt him. She broke the early morning silence with a wretched sigh.
'Too many dreams, and not enough action. That's me- Quistis Trepe.' She still couldn't move. Assassins were light sleepers by definition, and Irvine deserved the rest. The trauma was still etched in his handsome features- the pursed lips, the furrowed brow. 'If Galbadia didn't abuse their privilege, he wouldn't have been wounded. Now that I'm officially a 'Hero', maybe I can help put an end to this cadet labor . . . .But, most likely not- if anything, I'll be asking for a similar fate. It'd be a way to subtly exhibit my affection, though. . ..'
'WhY bE sUbtLE? He KnOWs.'
'Hyne- I hope not.' She was mortified. True, a large part of her wanted him to understand, and of course, to feel the same way. But damn if the idea didn't scare the hell out of her. Not simply because of their respective situations- Section eight-paragraph three of the Instructor's handbook- 'No Instructor of SeeD will engage in sexual or intimate relations with any student of Garden, no matter what the Student's age.' Samah had directed her attention to the paragraph. Even he sensed their bond. Seifer had too, and Evana. Had Martine noticed? It didn't matter- it simply showed just how tangible their shared affinity really was. Quistis was suddenly overcome with intense emotion. It wasn't joy, nor was it melancholy- it was the nameless emotion that shreds the soul and transcends the function of language. It was beautiful and powerful and it made her feel alive. That was it- the meaning of life personified. It was epiphanal and holy.
Her need for him was religious.
And that fact- the notion that she NeeDed anyone- was what scared her the most. She had never had anything or anyone.
'PeRHaPs IT's tiMe YoU dID. . .'
Impossible. No. She couldn't accept the idea. It was all too much too fast. Independence. Precision. Professionalism. PerfeCtion.
AfFection and NeEd had never been characteristics of Quistis' persona. And they couldn't just be inserted into her personality with a syringe. It was too overwhelming. She rememorized Irvine's features and, leaving a centimeter of space between her lips and his forehead, she kissed him tenderly.
Wrapping herself in a bathrobe, she left the Infirmary for her own lonely room. Her cerebral battles deafened her the outside world. She didn't even hear Irvine's sleepy voice call out her name as she closed the door.
She slipped into her bed and pulled the covers over her head. She slept and was plagued and blessed by horrible and wonderful nightmares and fantasies of she and Irvine fucking and making love. It was beautiful. It was perverse. She was unfulfilled and fully satiated.
But she did sleep.
" Well, Trepe- how does a full belly feel?"
'NauSeAtiNg.'
"I haven't eaten in a weak, Martine. My stomach's been cannibalizing itself. So. . ..it feels wonderful, thank you." Quistis helped herself to a fifth pancake. Her stomach and the voices in her head were telling her to stop, but she just couldn't get enough of these Galbadian flap jacks. Martine mumbled and agreement as he stuffed a whip-cream covered crepe in his mouth and washed it down with strawberry juice. 'Well, that's a fairly repulsing combination. Perhaps all the sugary 'food' has rotted and dulled his taste buds.'
Catching the look on her face, Samah rolled his sensitive brown eyes in accordance. Martine blissfully gorged himself on his honeyed delicacies.
"So. What happened in Fisherman's Horizon?" The martial artist asked his superior. Martine neglected the question until he had cleaned his plate. Choking on the last bite, he coughed and pounded at his chest. Swallowing fiercely, he washed away the remains with fruit juice and dabbed at his mouth with his sleeve. Then he responded.
"We arrived as scheduled Tuesday morning, approximately at ten o'clock. Caraway had Irvine hunting an illegal Estharian alien-again. We checked into our designated post and immediately went after the bastard. He was living in a house boat, posing as a fish monger. Kinneas decided to shoot and capsize the boat first, then I could approach the powerless mole and pose the list of questions Caraway had explicitly requested. If he ran, Kinneas was to shoot him. If he did anything but talk Kinneas was to open fire." He paused to finish his juice. "And we conducted our mission in exactly that way-only there were five men in the boat with the Estharian. And an assassin had been waiting for our boy. So while I was warding off a gang of edgy Estharians, Kinneas was grappling with a murderer on the roof. He was wounded before killing the man and they both fell off the friggin' roof. The gang stole away with their man and I called into Garden for some assistance after transporting Kinneas -damn that boy is heavy- to a nearby shelter. It turns out Dobe's been harboring Estharian immigrants for a few years now- he has formed a truce with the country's clandestine president. Somethin's up with them. . .now, don't get yourself all in a bunch, Samah. . ."He continued, seeing the younger instructor bristle. "Personally, I don't believe their intentions to be hostile. Simply political. That's why Garden's been dealing with it instead of Caraway's army."
"Then we shouldn't be dealing with it this way. Esthar's going to notice that their citizens-abroad have been assassinated. Especially those in F.H. What's happening with Dobe now?"
"Caraway's sent in a mole and has positioned officers throughout the city- it's all very discreet." Martine leaned back on his chair and placed his hands behind his head. "It's gone public now, so the army has to deal with it. Thankfully. We can wash our filthy hands of it." Samah didn't reply, but he had hesitantly accepted the story. Pushing back towards the table, Martine leaned in, grinning. Quistis had never seen the Headmaster looking so jolly. A little frightening.
"So. . ..Xu says hello."
"Ah hell, Martine. You just had to. . .." Samah threw his hands in the air then forced them over his ears. Martine just kept talking.
"She's just accepted Balamb's Field commander position. Pretty clever girl, eh?"
"Whose this- Xu?" Evana plunked down beside Quistis with her tray. Three cups of black coffee and four sugar-coated donuts adorned her plate. Hmmmm. . .comfort food? The red-headed gunblade expert bit into her pastry. "Oh yeah, she told me to tell you that you had the sweetest ass in the history of shy little SeeD boys. And that next time she sees you, she's rip those drab clothes from your compact little body and ride you like there's no. . .."
"Dammit, Evana! Don't say that! Quistis knows her!" Samah panted, blushing fiercely. Martine and Evana giggled madly. Quistis joined them. Yes- she was practically in a state of shock, but Samah's protests and red face instilled in her a sense of wicked pleasure.
"Hey- I'm jokin'. You know she's gonna let you drive. . .."
"Alright, Evana." Martine wheezed, checking over his shoulder. Some of the students had begun to eavesdrop. "That's probably enough for right now. Stop teasing the poor boy- it's his day off. We all apologize for laughing at your expense, Lukan. Even Quistis. Right?"
"Uh. . . yeah. How do you know Xu, Samah?" Quistis asked enthusiastically. She was very curious about Xu's past. Judging from Xu's tone the previous night, it was obvious the two had some history. The quiet martial artist blushed even deeper and wretchedly wrung his hands.
"I. . .um. . .."
"They took their field tests together. The first batch of SeeD's." Evana interjected, obviously enjoying his discomfort. "As I hear it, they were quite. . .."
"We were friends and comrades. That's it. Let's change the subject, okay?" Samah blurted out, exasperated. He turned to the red-haired Instructor. "Evana- how is Kinneas doing? You did just come for the infirmary, didn't you?"
"Yeah. And Kinneas is his usual 'obnoxiously-charming self'. Those curagas don't help his disposition, y'know? But anyway, he's been prowling around the infirmary, falling on his ass every couple-a steps. He's getting better. Should be outta there in no time. . .of course, just to be put back in. I swear, that kid has more holes in'em than swiss cheese."
"The story is he was stabbed through the chest cavity, and the knife punctured the left ventricle. He'll be outta commission for at least three weeks." Martine announced to his staff.
"Will Caraway come to verify the story?"
"No- it's close enough to the truth. I was tempted to tell'em Kinneas' arm had been chopped off. But he would've come to check that out."
"Maybe the boy'll come to class then." Instructor 'greybeard' answered after a meal of silence. "I don't want to see him in my class next semester, Martine. It's depressing me in my old age. . . ."
"I tell you every time that it's out of my control, Instructor Furtivan." Martine responded.
"Martine, in all my years as an Instructor here and as Galbadian General, I have never taught such a shrewd and talented cadet. Caraway knows what he has at his disposal, so he's going to use the best in his arsenal as often as he can. Let the boy go so he can stand up for himself and do what he believes is right. Hell- as much as I want'em in my class. I'd rather he get himself over to Balamb. I. . .let you give'em my favorite gun, Martine." The old man paused, his watery eyes narrowing. "You don't give failures guns like Valiant. No one takes a shot like Kinneas. No one."
"I'm glad you still have such confidence in your protégé, Furtivan." Samah answered, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Well, sometimes it wanes. I'm only gonna say this once." The old man stood and stopped. His joints creaked and the sound of bone on bone was audible. "If he doesn't get outta here, he'll be dead. Hyne- He'd a been dead long ago if he weren't such a compulsive seducer. Let him go, Martine. Good day, Headmaster. Instructors." The aged sharpshooter hobbled out of the cafeteria. Martine sighed.
"Greybeard's never going to let this go. He promises he'll only say it once, but he repeats himself every single weak."
"He's senile- give the old guy a break." Evana sucked the sugary powder off her fingers. Martine shook his head emphatically.
"No- he's not, Evana. He's right. But I'm too much of a coward. I can't help it. The army's going to take over Garden, but its better than tossing the kids out into the streets."
"Yeah- who knows what employment Kinneas may've taken up in the slums. . ." Evana mused- she clearly had a strong opinion on that issue. An impromptu fantasy broke into Quistis' head concerning Irvine in that particular type of service. As if on cue, She received a swift kick in the shin. It was a friendly warning from Evana. Quistis pulled her mind out of the gutter.
"I'll be taking part of Greybeard's battle tactics class with me Tomorrow to check out Winhill and that area. We should be back Thursday. I'll be leaving him as acting Headmaster, but Samah, do hover around and intercept any of the calls from Caraway. There's too much bad blood there. Also, if Dunkan or Westmut call in, patch them through to my PHS number. Let Almasy check in with Trepe, though. She is his parole officer."
'Seifer. I wonder how he's doing in Timber? Thank Hyne he hasn't been around.'
'SeIfEr's a GoOd BoY. . ..'
'No- he's not. Really, he isn't.'
"Have they located and isolated the said problem." Samah whispered.
"Those three? I bet they've been getting toasted every night." Evana snorted.
"I haven't heard from them, Samah. I am also a little curious as to what they've actually accomplished." Martine replied ironically.
Quistis should've been interested in the ambiguous mission. But she wasn't- she was too preoccupied and couldn't focus. She finished her bottle of Balamb water and rose. Martine followed her with his eyes.
"Oh, Quistis. Can we meet sometimes this evening. I need to discuss a couple of things with you. Let's say- oh, sixish?"
"Six o'clock, Martine. She needs to know the exact time so she can meticulously plan her anal little schedule." Evana grinned.
"Six o'clock, Instructor Trepe?"
"Of course. That'll give me six hours and twelve minutes. . .forty. ..two seconds."
"Dammit, Quisty-girl. You're somethin' else."
Quistis excused herself and wandered the halls aimlessly.
She unconsciously found her way to the infirmary. Not that it really surprised her.
But it did surprise her to hear to hear Irvine yelp out in pain. Which was followed by a giggle. Quistis stopped just outside the door, a little confused by the nature of her Cadet's yelp.
"Ow! That hurt, ya'know? Hyne- why's everybody been pinchin' me lately?"
"I'm going to hurt you more than that, Irvine Kinneas! Take this!" No- the strident, pixie inspired voice held no sadomasochistic implications. But Irvine did yell again.
"Dammit, Rinny. Stop it! I was stabbed. I'm injured! I. . . .Owwwww!. . .I'm, shit- sorry! SORRY! I didn't mean ta leave ya in the lurch. . .."
"As if I'd believe that. You jerk! You were probably frolicking with one of those cute nurses. . .."
"I promise- I ain't been doin' any frolickin'. I got stabbed. Look at all the empty curaga bottles over there. I'm in pain!"
"So you've been getting high too?!?!? I could've died, Irvine, and you've been sitting here doping up?!?!?!?!" The sweet voice bellowed and Quistis could tell by the strained, gagging sounds that the source of that voice was choking her poor cowboy to death. She was about to step in when the sounds ceased, and Irvine swore.
"Oh- my. You. . . really are hurt."
"Shit, girly. That's what I've been tryin' ta tell ya!" Irvine roared, groaning pitifully. the lyrical soprano voice giggled and cooed.
"Ah, Irvy. I'm sorry for not believing you. It's just that we were so geared up for this protest, but when you didn't show up I got scared and cancelled it. I figured that you had blown us off."
"Rinny- I'm always there for my friends. Even if they are psychotic, strangling she-beasts. . . ..ow! Don't pinch me!"
"Well- don't call me names. So- why were you stabbed?"
"Confidential, little missy. You know that. . .."
"C'mon. . .."The woman's voice slid into a seductive little beg. "Did the General put you up to it? Was it something illegal?"
"Nope. Not tellin'. Rather fond of this here body and all it's accompanying appendages. . ."
"Well. . .do you have any secrets you wanna share with me?"
"Ummm. . .sure. Here's one- if ya don't stop crawlin' all over me, I'm gonna tell yer poppa where ya'are."
"Irvine Kinneas! You wouldn't dare! Besides, I'm doing nothing of the sort. I . . .don't need you. I found someone else."
"Never without a prospect, eh Rinny. You're worse than I am."
"Impossible, Irvine. You've been an affection hog for ten years. I could never top your record." The voice erupted in a shrill giggle. Quistis was beginning to feel a little green-eyed.
'She wants him too.'
'ShE dOEs NoT hAvE A prAyeR. . .'
"Well- Rin, who it this time?"
"uh uh. Not going to tell you. Only that he's all- around better than you!"
"Lemme guess. . . .I know! It's the town drunk, He's been eyein' you up for years. And he's just your type!"
"What- a bum? Sorry, Irvy. I've stopped slumming it-got my fill with you. "
Quistis' temper flared. What an arrogant little bitch! Irvine just laughed it off though, and the uppity little princess continued.
" Well- Drifter is definitely better than you. But no- THIS guy. . .is, well, really amazing." Her voice fell in a love-sick, nostalgic way. "He just came out of nowhere and saved me from a gang of drunken Trabian mercenaries who followed me home from the train station, Thursday night. The night YOU were supposed to be with me. Ohh. . .. He's so noble and smart. I'm meeting with him again tonight- I just know it's going to be magical!" She gushed. Quistis felt the urge to vomit.
"You're an awful romantic, Miss Heartilly." Irvine laughed and sighed. She clucked her tongue.
"Some people want more from life than cheap thrills."
". . ..you don't know me as well as you think you do."
" Will you come next Thursday? We can't pull it off without you. . .."
"Rinny-hun. You know I'm all for Timber's liberation, but I. . .just can't. Not right now. Deling's breathin' down our necks and your daddy practically owns this place. . ."
'Her daddy?'
'iT's NoTHinG- Do NOT KoNCeRN YoURseLF. . .'
"I see- so you're a coward."
"I. . .shit Rinny. It's not like that! But I can't do it. Everybody's pullin' at me from different angles. There are guys out there lookin' ta put a bullet through my head and Galbadia just keeps sendin' me off ta kill innocent people. I can't do it anymore. And I can't help you because I can't even take two steps without fallin' to my knees and cryin' like a little baby. You're just like your dad- you're a user, girl. I love ya, but stop stringin' me along like this. I can't handle it." The room fell silent- the blood pumped hard in Quistis ears as she waited for the response.
"Fine, Irvine. I'll find someone else. You're too busy offering yourself as Deling's lackey to help a friend save a nation. I understand. Take care of yourself." The bed squeaked as a foot hit the floor.
'ShE's GoInG to LeAve. ApProAcH the DoOr aNd pReTend to ArRive.'
Quistis complied with the voice in her head and re-approached the door, nearly colliding with the petite, dark-haired beauty who stormed out from the room. The girl blinked twice and frowned as she studied Quistis' appearance. Shaking her head sadly and smiling, she stepped around the blonde instructor and disappeared out the infirmary door. Irvine snorted and leaned against the backboard.
"Is everything okay?"
"Right as rain, hun." Irvine replied a little bitterly. Quistis closed the door, flipped the 'do not disturb sign' and took a seat beside him.
"You're not Deling's lackey. You're his slave. There's a difference."
"Not to the people I hurt." He grabbed a pillow and pushed it behind his head. Quistis fluffed it a bit and helped him ease his head back onto it. She could help but drag her fingertips down his cheek as she pulled them away. His cheeks were slightly flushed and seared her own cool skin.
"Don't blame yourself. . .."
"Someone has to take the blame- and it's sure as hell not gonna be Deling or Caraway. I'm at the bottom of the hierarchy, Quisty. It's gonna be me- it's gotta be."
"Martine will not be accepting any incoming requests for you for the next three weeks, Irvine. That will give you a rest."
"Hun- somedays all I want is a permanent rest." He bit his lip and turned away, towards the window. 'W. .what? What was that?'
'He cAn't. He bElONgs tO yoU.'
"Don't ever say that." It came out as a pseudo-seethe. Quistis grasped his chin and directed his gaze into her own. "Ever. Your life is not yours to take. Stop acting like a child."
The depressed glaze over his eyes cracked and his countenance melted into look of powerlessness and wonder. Had she just revealed herself to him? 'Where's this aggression coming from? I've never been able to assert myself like this. Holy mother of Hyne, he wants me to kiss him. Me kiss him. Quistis, look at his face. He's vulnerable and unhealthily malleable. Don't take advantage of his injury- that's cruel. He's probably just lonely.'
'He Is bEaUtifUl, tHoUgh. . .'
'More than anything. I want to kiss him more than anything. But I can't give into this want.'
'WeAk. iT's a PeRFecT mOmeNt.'
"Irvine. Do you remember what Xu said last night? You've been pre- accepted to the SeeD cadet program. You only have four courses left to finish. Then. . .you can come to Balamb." 'To be with me.'
"Quisty- I'll never make it to Balamb. They keep me here on purpose. No matter how hard I try, there's something that stops me. Garden just won't let me go. . .."
'NeItHEr wiLl we. . .."
"I'll see to it. You'll pass." Quistis swore, crawling into the bed and lying parallel to him. "In fact- I'll tutor you and gather your homework for you when you're suspended or absent. There are other instructors who feel the same way and will cooperate. Hyne- I'll do your homework for you."
"Quisty- I wanna learn. . ."
"Then I'll help you. Because you deserve so much more than this. I know you love it here, and have so many memories of this place- but it's not good for you." 'It's not good for anyone.'
"Memories." He snorted derisively.
"Hmmm. . . what about them?"
"Do you think you'll remember me when you go back to Balamb?"
'Hyne, what a stupid question, Irvine.
"Of course I will- there's no way I could forget you." She responded sincerely. "And I have an awful memory." He bit his lip and stared at his hands.
"I have what they call a 'perfect' memory. It's like a photographic memory, but it. . . .I dunno- encompasses more senses. I can recall the timbre and pitch of a man's voice I heard three years ago, not ta mention what he said, how gray his hair was and how he smelled of peppermint and old leather. Anything I focus my attention on gets processed through my mind and filed away for future reference. Twenty years from now, I'll remember this here conversation we're having right now, while you may not even remember my name." He stopped.
"That's an amazing gift, Irvine."
"That's what Martine says. But it's not . . .It's a curse." He whispered in a chilling, haunting tone. "You can't forget nothin'. The faces of people you killed, people you abandoned. People who abandoned you. . ..And. . ."He was losing kontrol of himSelF. "You can keep remindin' people, but they're just gonna keep forgettin' you no matter what you say or what you do, and all you want is for'em to know how lonely you are."
'Dammit- he's going to have a nervous breakdown.'
'KomFOrT hIm, sTupiD giRL. . ..'
Quistis put an arm around him. He turned his watery eyes on her and reached up to touch her cheek.
"I'm always forgotten." He whispered. "I'm always left behind. You'll forget me, Quisty. Someday you will. Everyone does. Someday you'll forget this." Placing his hand behind her head, he pressed his lips to hers, blending their breaths- blending their essences. Quistis froze. . .but only for a second. Pressing her body to his, she returned the gesture with a vengeance. His lips were sweet and spicy and he tasted deeply of fear and need. Every one of her dark, sick fantasies sprung up at once, and she gave into her baser desires. She wrapped an arm around his waist to pull his injured body closer, to caress and mold their forms together. To amalgamate them into one. He was losing control? She had lost it.
'I tolD yOu He WaS YouR's.'
'He is mine. We're perFecT toGether.'
She bit down hungrily, her hands clenching at his sides, their desperate mouths seeking the satisfaction of dominance. His hand was a vice on her neck and he moaned softly in her mouth. They were smothering each other while worshiping each others forms. Suddenly, his body stiffened and he pulled away.
"Quisty. . ." He whispered, groaned and swooned. In a dazed stupor, she reached down to stroke his hair from his face, only to smear a thick stripe of red across his forehead. She held up her hand for all to see. Rich, viscous blood dripped from her palm down her forearm. The bed was dyed red. She'd reopened his wound. Still dazed, Quistis sat with her back to the wall, stroking Irvine's hair as he lay unconscious beside her. Lay unconscious because of her.
'ReMeMbER- We'RE PeRFecT toGeTHeR. JuST tHe ThREe oF uS.'
And Quistis did.
Chapter 9
She woke for sunrise and found him curled up beside her in fetal position. She didn't question it- had no desire to dwell on something so natural and so very needed. In sleep, he was both cherubic and devilish, but-more importantly- pained. The curaga high was fading.
She didn't move and barely breathed. To disturb the moment would be a sin.
Her hands itched to caress his brow and cup his chin, to put a texture to the tawny-hue of his skin. She wanted to wrap her arms around his neck and entangle her hands in his bed-rustled hair while pressing her breasts to his suede-clad chest. That said, she wanted to devour his mouth and grab at every single section of his body all at once. She wanted him to hurt her and, even more so, to hurt him. She broke the early morning silence with a wretched sigh.
'Too many dreams, and not enough action. That's me- Quistis Trepe.' She still couldn't move. Assassins were light sleepers by definition, and Irvine deserved the rest. The trauma was still etched in his handsome features- the pursed lips, the furrowed brow. 'If Galbadia didn't abuse their privilege, he wouldn't have been wounded. Now that I'm officially a 'Hero', maybe I can help put an end to this cadet labor . . . .But, most likely not- if anything, I'll be asking for a similar fate. It'd be a way to subtly exhibit my affection, though. . ..'
'WhY bE sUbtLE? He KnOWs.'
'Hyne- I hope not.' She was mortified. True, a large part of her wanted him to understand, and of course, to feel the same way. But damn if the idea didn't scare the hell out of her. Not simply because of their respective situations- Section eight-paragraph three of the Instructor's handbook- 'No Instructor of SeeD will engage in sexual or intimate relations with any student of Garden, no matter what the Student's age.' Samah had directed her attention to the paragraph. Even he sensed their bond. Seifer had too, and Evana. Had Martine noticed? It didn't matter- it simply showed just how tangible their shared affinity really was. Quistis was suddenly overcome with intense emotion. It wasn't joy, nor was it melancholy- it was the nameless emotion that shreds the soul and transcends the function of language. It was beautiful and powerful and it made her feel alive. That was it- the meaning of life personified. It was epiphanal and holy.
Her need for him was religious.
And that fact- the notion that she NeeDed anyone- was what scared her the most. She had never had anything or anyone.
'PeRHaPs IT's tiMe YoU dID. . .'
Impossible. No. She couldn't accept the idea. It was all too much too fast. Independence. Precision. Professionalism. PerfeCtion.
AfFection and NeEd had never been characteristics of Quistis' persona. And they couldn't just be inserted into her personality with a syringe. It was too overwhelming. She rememorized Irvine's features and, leaving a centimeter of space between her lips and his forehead, she kissed him tenderly.
Wrapping herself in a bathrobe, she left the Infirmary for her own lonely room. Her cerebral battles deafened her the outside world. She didn't even hear Irvine's sleepy voice call out her name as she closed the door.
She slipped into her bed and pulled the covers over her head. She slept and was plagued and blessed by horrible and wonderful nightmares and fantasies of she and Irvine fucking and making love. It was beautiful. It was perverse. She was unfulfilled and fully satiated.
But she did sleep.
" Well, Trepe- how does a full belly feel?"
'NauSeAtiNg.'
"I haven't eaten in a weak, Martine. My stomach's been cannibalizing itself. So. . ..it feels wonderful, thank you." Quistis helped herself to a fifth pancake. Her stomach and the voices in her head were telling her to stop, but she just couldn't get enough of these Galbadian flap jacks. Martine mumbled and agreement as he stuffed a whip-cream covered crepe in his mouth and washed it down with strawberry juice. 'Well, that's a fairly repulsing combination. Perhaps all the sugary 'food' has rotted and dulled his taste buds.'
Catching the look on her face, Samah rolled his sensitive brown eyes in accordance. Martine blissfully gorged himself on his honeyed delicacies.
"So. What happened in Fisherman's Horizon?" The martial artist asked his superior. Martine neglected the question until he had cleaned his plate. Choking on the last bite, he coughed and pounded at his chest. Swallowing fiercely, he washed away the remains with fruit juice and dabbed at his mouth with his sleeve. Then he responded.
"We arrived as scheduled Tuesday morning, approximately at ten o'clock. Caraway had Irvine hunting an illegal Estharian alien-again. We checked into our designated post and immediately went after the bastard. He was living in a house boat, posing as a fish monger. Kinneas decided to shoot and capsize the boat first, then I could approach the powerless mole and pose the list of questions Caraway had explicitly requested. If he ran, Kinneas was to shoot him. If he did anything but talk Kinneas was to open fire." He paused to finish his juice. "And we conducted our mission in exactly that way-only there were five men in the boat with the Estharian. And an assassin had been waiting for our boy. So while I was warding off a gang of edgy Estharians, Kinneas was grappling with a murderer on the roof. He was wounded before killing the man and they both fell off the friggin' roof. The gang stole away with their man and I called into Garden for some assistance after transporting Kinneas -damn that boy is heavy- to a nearby shelter. It turns out Dobe's been harboring Estharian immigrants for a few years now- he has formed a truce with the country's clandestine president. Somethin's up with them. . .now, don't get yourself all in a bunch, Samah. . ."He continued, seeing the younger instructor bristle. "Personally, I don't believe their intentions to be hostile. Simply political. That's why Garden's been dealing with it instead of Caraway's army."
"Then we shouldn't be dealing with it this way. Esthar's going to notice that their citizens-abroad have been assassinated. Especially those in F.H. What's happening with Dobe now?"
"Caraway's sent in a mole and has positioned officers throughout the city- it's all very discreet." Martine leaned back on his chair and placed his hands behind his head. "It's gone public now, so the army has to deal with it. Thankfully. We can wash our filthy hands of it." Samah didn't reply, but he had hesitantly accepted the story. Pushing back towards the table, Martine leaned in, grinning. Quistis had never seen the Headmaster looking so jolly. A little frightening.
"So. . ..Xu says hello."
"Ah hell, Martine. You just had to. . .." Samah threw his hands in the air then forced them over his ears. Martine just kept talking.
"She's just accepted Balamb's Field commander position. Pretty clever girl, eh?"
"Whose this- Xu?" Evana plunked down beside Quistis with her tray. Three cups of black coffee and four sugar-coated donuts adorned her plate. Hmmmm. . .comfort food? The red-headed gunblade expert bit into her pastry. "Oh yeah, she told me to tell you that you had the sweetest ass in the history of shy little SeeD boys. And that next time she sees you, she's rip those drab clothes from your compact little body and ride you like there's no. . .."
"Dammit, Evana! Don't say that! Quistis knows her!" Samah panted, blushing fiercely. Martine and Evana giggled madly. Quistis joined them. Yes- she was practically in a state of shock, but Samah's protests and red face instilled in her a sense of wicked pleasure.
"Hey- I'm jokin'. You know she's gonna let you drive. . .."
"Alright, Evana." Martine wheezed, checking over his shoulder. Some of the students had begun to eavesdrop. "That's probably enough for right now. Stop teasing the poor boy- it's his day off. We all apologize for laughing at your expense, Lukan. Even Quistis. Right?"
"Uh. . . yeah. How do you know Xu, Samah?" Quistis asked enthusiastically. She was very curious about Xu's past. Judging from Xu's tone the previous night, it was obvious the two had some history. The quiet martial artist blushed even deeper and wretchedly wrung his hands.
"I. . .um. . .."
"They took their field tests together. The first batch of SeeD's." Evana interjected, obviously enjoying his discomfort. "As I hear it, they were quite. . .."
"We were friends and comrades. That's it. Let's change the subject, okay?" Samah blurted out, exasperated. He turned to the red-haired Instructor. "Evana- how is Kinneas doing? You did just come for the infirmary, didn't you?"
"Yeah. And Kinneas is his usual 'obnoxiously-charming self'. Those curagas don't help his disposition, y'know? But anyway, he's been prowling around the infirmary, falling on his ass every couple-a steps. He's getting better. Should be outta there in no time. . .of course, just to be put back in. I swear, that kid has more holes in'em than swiss cheese."
"The story is he was stabbed through the chest cavity, and the knife punctured the left ventricle. He'll be outta commission for at least three weeks." Martine announced to his staff.
"Will Caraway come to verify the story?"
"No- it's close enough to the truth. I was tempted to tell'em Kinneas' arm had been chopped off. But he would've come to check that out."
"Maybe the boy'll come to class then." Instructor 'greybeard' answered after a meal of silence. "I don't want to see him in my class next semester, Martine. It's depressing me in my old age. . . ."
"I tell you every time that it's out of my control, Instructor Furtivan." Martine responded.
"Martine, in all my years as an Instructor here and as Galbadian General, I have never taught such a shrewd and talented cadet. Caraway knows what he has at his disposal, so he's going to use the best in his arsenal as often as he can. Let the boy go so he can stand up for himself and do what he believes is right. Hell- as much as I want'em in my class. I'd rather he get himself over to Balamb. I. . .let you give'em my favorite gun, Martine." The old man paused, his watery eyes narrowing. "You don't give failures guns like Valiant. No one takes a shot like Kinneas. No one."
"I'm glad you still have such confidence in your protégé, Furtivan." Samah answered, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Well, sometimes it wanes. I'm only gonna say this once." The old man stood and stopped. His joints creaked and the sound of bone on bone was audible. "If he doesn't get outta here, he'll be dead. Hyne- He'd a been dead long ago if he weren't such a compulsive seducer. Let him go, Martine. Good day, Headmaster. Instructors." The aged sharpshooter hobbled out of the cafeteria. Martine sighed.
"Greybeard's never going to let this go. He promises he'll only say it once, but he repeats himself every single weak."
"He's senile- give the old guy a break." Evana sucked the sugary powder off her fingers. Martine shook his head emphatically.
"No- he's not, Evana. He's right. But I'm too much of a coward. I can't help it. The army's going to take over Garden, but its better than tossing the kids out into the streets."
"Yeah- who knows what employment Kinneas may've taken up in the slums. . ." Evana mused- she clearly had a strong opinion on that issue. An impromptu fantasy broke into Quistis' head concerning Irvine in that particular type of service. As if on cue, She received a swift kick in the shin. It was a friendly warning from Evana. Quistis pulled her mind out of the gutter.
"I'll be taking part of Greybeard's battle tactics class with me Tomorrow to check out Winhill and that area. We should be back Thursday. I'll be leaving him as acting Headmaster, but Samah, do hover around and intercept any of the calls from Caraway. There's too much bad blood there. Also, if Dunkan or Westmut call in, patch them through to my PHS number. Let Almasy check in with Trepe, though. She is his parole officer."
'Seifer. I wonder how he's doing in Timber? Thank Hyne he hasn't been around.'
'SeIfEr's a GoOd BoY. . ..'
'No- he's not. Really, he isn't.'
"Have they located and isolated the said problem." Samah whispered.
"Those three? I bet they've been getting toasted every night." Evana snorted.
"I haven't heard from them, Samah. I am also a little curious as to what they've actually accomplished." Martine replied ironically.
Quistis should've been interested in the ambiguous mission. But she wasn't- she was too preoccupied and couldn't focus. She finished her bottle of Balamb water and rose. Martine followed her with his eyes.
"Oh, Quistis. Can we meet sometimes this evening. I need to discuss a couple of things with you. Let's say- oh, sixish?"
"Six o'clock, Martine. She needs to know the exact time so she can meticulously plan her anal little schedule." Evana grinned.
"Six o'clock, Instructor Trepe?"
"Of course. That'll give me six hours and twelve minutes. . .forty. ..two seconds."
"Dammit, Quisty-girl. You're somethin' else."
Quistis excused herself and wandered the halls aimlessly.
She unconsciously found her way to the infirmary. Not that it really surprised her.
But it did surprise her to hear to hear Irvine yelp out in pain. Which was followed by a giggle. Quistis stopped just outside the door, a little confused by the nature of her Cadet's yelp.
"Ow! That hurt, ya'know? Hyne- why's everybody been pinchin' me lately?"
"I'm going to hurt you more than that, Irvine Kinneas! Take this!" No- the strident, pixie inspired voice held no sadomasochistic implications. But Irvine did yell again.
"Dammit, Rinny. Stop it! I was stabbed. I'm injured! I. . . .Owwwww!. . .I'm, shit- sorry! SORRY! I didn't mean ta leave ya in the lurch. . .."
"As if I'd believe that. You jerk! You were probably frolicking with one of those cute nurses. . .."
"I promise- I ain't been doin' any frolickin'. I got stabbed. Look at all the empty curaga bottles over there. I'm in pain!"
"So you've been getting high too?!?!? I could've died, Irvine, and you've been sitting here doping up?!?!?!?!" The sweet voice bellowed and Quistis could tell by the strained, gagging sounds that the source of that voice was choking her poor cowboy to death. She was about to step in when the sounds ceased, and Irvine swore.
"Oh- my. You. . . really are hurt."
"Shit, girly. That's what I've been tryin' ta tell ya!" Irvine roared, groaning pitifully. the lyrical soprano voice giggled and cooed.
"Ah, Irvy. I'm sorry for not believing you. It's just that we were so geared up for this protest, but when you didn't show up I got scared and cancelled it. I figured that you had blown us off."
"Rinny- I'm always there for my friends. Even if they are psychotic, strangling she-beasts. . . ..ow! Don't pinch me!"
"Well- don't call me names. So- why were you stabbed?"
"Confidential, little missy. You know that. . .."
"C'mon. . .."The woman's voice slid into a seductive little beg. "Did the General put you up to it? Was it something illegal?"
"Nope. Not tellin'. Rather fond of this here body and all it's accompanying appendages. . ."
"Well. . .do you have any secrets you wanna share with me?"
"Ummm. . .sure. Here's one- if ya don't stop crawlin' all over me, I'm gonna tell yer poppa where ya'are."
"Irvine Kinneas! You wouldn't dare! Besides, I'm doing nothing of the sort. I . . .don't need you. I found someone else."
"Never without a prospect, eh Rinny. You're worse than I am."
"Impossible, Irvine. You've been an affection hog for ten years. I could never top your record." The voice erupted in a shrill giggle. Quistis was beginning to feel a little green-eyed.
'She wants him too.'
'ShE dOEs NoT hAvE A prAyeR. . .'
"Well- Rin, who it this time?"
"uh uh. Not going to tell you. Only that he's all- around better than you!"
"Lemme guess. . . .I know! It's the town drunk, He's been eyein' you up for years. And he's just your type!"
"What- a bum? Sorry, Irvy. I've stopped slumming it-got my fill with you. "
Quistis' temper flared. What an arrogant little bitch! Irvine just laughed it off though, and the uppity little princess continued.
" Well- Drifter is definitely better than you. But no- THIS guy. . .is, well, really amazing." Her voice fell in a love-sick, nostalgic way. "He just came out of nowhere and saved me from a gang of drunken Trabian mercenaries who followed me home from the train station, Thursday night. The night YOU were supposed to be with me. Ohh. . .. He's so noble and smart. I'm meeting with him again tonight- I just know it's going to be magical!" She gushed. Quistis felt the urge to vomit.
"You're an awful romantic, Miss Heartilly." Irvine laughed and sighed. She clucked her tongue.
"Some people want more from life than cheap thrills."
". . ..you don't know me as well as you think you do."
" Will you come next Thursday? We can't pull it off without you. . .."
"Rinny-hun. You know I'm all for Timber's liberation, but I. . .just can't. Not right now. Deling's breathin' down our necks and your daddy practically owns this place. . ."
'Her daddy?'
'iT's NoTHinG- Do NOT KoNCeRN YoURseLF. . .'
"I see- so you're a coward."
"I. . .shit Rinny. It's not like that! But I can't do it. Everybody's pullin' at me from different angles. There are guys out there lookin' ta put a bullet through my head and Galbadia just keeps sendin' me off ta kill innocent people. I can't do it anymore. And I can't help you because I can't even take two steps without fallin' to my knees and cryin' like a little baby. You're just like your dad- you're a user, girl. I love ya, but stop stringin' me along like this. I can't handle it." The room fell silent- the blood pumped hard in Quistis ears as she waited for the response.
"Fine, Irvine. I'll find someone else. You're too busy offering yourself as Deling's lackey to help a friend save a nation. I understand. Take care of yourself." The bed squeaked as a foot hit the floor.
'ShE's GoInG to LeAve. ApProAcH the DoOr aNd pReTend to ArRive.'
Quistis complied with the voice in her head and re-approached the door, nearly colliding with the petite, dark-haired beauty who stormed out from the room. The girl blinked twice and frowned as she studied Quistis' appearance. Shaking her head sadly and smiling, she stepped around the blonde instructor and disappeared out the infirmary door. Irvine snorted and leaned against the backboard.
"Is everything okay?"
"Right as rain, hun." Irvine replied a little bitterly. Quistis closed the door, flipped the 'do not disturb sign' and took a seat beside him.
"You're not Deling's lackey. You're his slave. There's a difference."
"Not to the people I hurt." He grabbed a pillow and pushed it behind his head. Quistis fluffed it a bit and helped him ease his head back onto it. She could help but drag her fingertips down his cheek as she pulled them away. His cheeks were slightly flushed and seared her own cool skin.
"Don't blame yourself. . .."
"Someone has to take the blame- and it's sure as hell not gonna be Deling or Caraway. I'm at the bottom of the hierarchy, Quisty. It's gonna be me- it's gotta be."
"Martine will not be accepting any incoming requests for you for the next three weeks, Irvine. That will give you a rest."
"Hun- somedays all I want is a permanent rest." He bit his lip and turned away, towards the window. 'W. .what? What was that?'
'He cAn't. He bElONgs tO yoU.'
"Don't ever say that." It came out as a pseudo-seethe. Quistis grasped his chin and directed his gaze into her own. "Ever. Your life is not yours to take. Stop acting like a child."
The depressed glaze over his eyes cracked and his countenance melted into look of powerlessness and wonder. Had she just revealed herself to him? 'Where's this aggression coming from? I've never been able to assert myself like this. Holy mother of Hyne, he wants me to kiss him. Me kiss him. Quistis, look at his face. He's vulnerable and unhealthily malleable. Don't take advantage of his injury- that's cruel. He's probably just lonely.'
'He Is bEaUtifUl, tHoUgh. . .'
'More than anything. I want to kiss him more than anything. But I can't give into this want.'
'WeAk. iT's a PeRFecT mOmeNt.'
"Irvine. Do you remember what Xu said last night? You've been pre- accepted to the SeeD cadet program. You only have four courses left to finish. Then. . .you can come to Balamb." 'To be with me.'
"Quisty- I'll never make it to Balamb. They keep me here on purpose. No matter how hard I try, there's something that stops me. Garden just won't let me go. . .."
'NeItHEr wiLl we. . .."
"I'll see to it. You'll pass." Quistis swore, crawling into the bed and lying parallel to him. "In fact- I'll tutor you and gather your homework for you when you're suspended or absent. There are other instructors who feel the same way and will cooperate. Hyne- I'll do your homework for you."
"Quisty- I wanna learn. . ."
"Then I'll help you. Because you deserve so much more than this. I know you love it here, and have so many memories of this place- but it's not good for you." 'It's not good for anyone.'
"Memories." He snorted derisively.
"Hmmm. . . what about them?"
"Do you think you'll remember me when you go back to Balamb?"
'Hyne, what a stupid question, Irvine.
"Of course I will- there's no way I could forget you." She responded sincerely. "And I have an awful memory." He bit his lip and stared at his hands.
"I have what they call a 'perfect' memory. It's like a photographic memory, but it. . . .I dunno- encompasses more senses. I can recall the timbre and pitch of a man's voice I heard three years ago, not ta mention what he said, how gray his hair was and how he smelled of peppermint and old leather. Anything I focus my attention on gets processed through my mind and filed away for future reference. Twenty years from now, I'll remember this here conversation we're having right now, while you may not even remember my name." He stopped.
"That's an amazing gift, Irvine."
"That's what Martine says. But it's not . . .It's a curse." He whispered in a chilling, haunting tone. "You can't forget nothin'. The faces of people you killed, people you abandoned. People who abandoned you. . ..And. . ."He was losing kontrol of himSelF. "You can keep remindin' people, but they're just gonna keep forgettin' you no matter what you say or what you do, and all you want is for'em to know how lonely you are."
'Dammit- he's going to have a nervous breakdown.'
'KomFOrT hIm, sTupiD giRL. . ..'
Quistis put an arm around him. He turned his watery eyes on her and reached up to touch her cheek.
"I'm always forgotten." He whispered. "I'm always left behind. You'll forget me, Quisty. Someday you will. Everyone does. Someday you'll forget this." Placing his hand behind her head, he pressed his lips to hers, blending their breaths- blending their essences. Quistis froze. . .but only for a second. Pressing her body to his, she returned the gesture with a vengeance. His lips were sweet and spicy and he tasted deeply of fear and need. Every one of her dark, sick fantasies sprung up at once, and she gave into her baser desires. She wrapped an arm around his waist to pull his injured body closer, to caress and mold their forms together. To amalgamate them into one. He was losing control? She had lost it.
'I tolD yOu He WaS YouR's.'
'He is mine. We're perFecT toGether.'
She bit down hungrily, her hands clenching at his sides, their desperate mouths seeking the satisfaction of dominance. His hand was a vice on her neck and he moaned softly in her mouth. They were smothering each other while worshiping each others forms. Suddenly, his body stiffened and he pulled away.
"Quisty. . ." He whispered, groaned and swooned. In a dazed stupor, she reached down to stroke his hair from his face, only to smear a thick stripe of red across his forehead. She held up her hand for all to see. Rich, viscous blood dripped from her palm down her forearm. The bed was dyed red. She'd reopened his wound. Still dazed, Quistis sat with her back to the wall, stroking Irvine's hair as he lay unconscious beside her. Lay unconscious because of her.
'ReMeMbER- We'RE PeRFecT toGeTHeR. JuST tHe ThREe oF uS.'
And Quistis did.