TITLE: A Shiny Blond Thing
AUTHOR: Kelso (kelso28@excite.com)
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: "Angel" S4 finale; "Buffy" series finale; "Dawson's Creek" series finale
SUMMARY: Wondering how Spike could possibly fit in with the Angel Investigations gang? It might be a situation straight out of Angel's nightmares.
DISTRIBUTION: for this story, ask first
DISCLAIMER: "Buffy"/"Angel" characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc.
NOTES: I took the title from a comment Joss Whedon made in a recent interview, regarding James Marsters' casting on "Angel": "[The WB has] a shiny blond thing to show people, and they're gonna do it."

For the record, I'm a huge Spike fan and I love the idea of him being on "Angel." However, I wanted to write a post-"Chosen" fic and it seems like tons of people are already covering the angsty resurrection side of things, so I went a different way.

*****

Fresh off of single-handedly killing a nest of Gravik demons, Angel hoisted his blood-stained ax as he approached the Wolfram & Hart building. He took no particular notice of the unfamiliar motorcycle parked in front; for all he knew or cared, it belonged to one of the guards. Then he stepped through the doors, and promptly stopped dead. In the lobby lay the additions, new since three hours ago, of a leather sofa, a glass coffee table, and a big-screen TV with VCR attached. Wesley, Gunn, and Fred were clustered around the sofa, and over the right end of it Angel saw a blond shape that looked suspiciously like the top of Spike's head.

Nah. Couldn't be. He knew that. Still, his curiosity was aroused. Accordingly, Angel set his ax on the floor and walked over to join the laughing, chattering group. Only as he drew closer, he realized with a sinking sensation that the newcomer was indeed Spike. "What's going on here?" Angel demanded.

Four pairs of eyes swung his way. "Hey, Peaches, there ya are," Spike greeted from his sprawled position along the couch. "I've been getting to know the family while you were out."

"This isn't right. How can you even be here? Buffy called yesterday and said that you died in the fight."

"That's what everyone thought. But this morning I woke up in the crater that used to be good old Sunnyhell, and I decided to come pay you a visit and give you the news."

"Spike's saga is really quite remarkable," Wesley interjected. "Do you know, last year he traveled to Africa and deliberately sought to obtain a soul? Not only that, he succeeded. He is truly unique among vampires."

"Way cool," Gunn agreed.

"He's a genuine champion," Fred added.

Spike raised a Budweiser can to his lips and took a few gulps. "Oh, by the way, Angel, something you should know. Seems I behaved so heroically in the final battle that I earned a reward. Wesley says it's called, what was that again? Oh, yeah, a shanshu. I'm human now. And you know what's even better? That amulet you gave Buffy, the one she went and handed over to me? That was the key. It gave me the little extra kick I needed to make it over the hump. Too bad you didn't stick around to wear it yourself, but think of it this way: I wouldn't be here without you, mate."

"Spike," Angel began through gritted teeth.

"Hold on," Spike interrupted. "Since I'm human, I'm not going by that name anymore. Call me William." He set his empty beer can on the coffee table with a clink.

"So what the hell are you doing here, *William*?" Angel snapped.

"That's the best part. I'm going to be living with you. You're my sire, or grandsire, depending on which version of events you believe, and you're responsible for me. It's a vampire thing."

Everyone beamed at Angel.

He glared at Spike. "I could kill you where you lie, and don't try to tell me *that* wouldn't be a vampire thing. Remember, I dusted Darla."

The others immediately formed a closer circle around Spike, who responded, "But I'm not a vampire anymore. I'm human, plus I have a soul, *and* I saved the world. Unlike some other vampires who tried to suck it into, oh, say, hell."

Angel growled.

Fred blurted, "Um, can I get you anything, Spike?" She blushed prettily. "I mean, William."

"Yeah, sure, Taco." Spike indicated the empty can on the table. "Another beer."

Fred hurried away, while Angel turned incredulous eyes on Spike/William. (Spilliam?) "Did you just call Fred 'Taco'?"

"You remember my habit of devising annoying nicknames like Whelp, Nibblet, and Red for everyone within my orbit. Fred loves tacos, so her name is Taco. Gunn is Baldy, for obvious reasons. You're Peaches or Poof, and on rare occasions I might even call you by your preferred name. If Cordelia happened to still be around, I would, naturally, be calling her 'Cheerleader.' Haven't come up with a clever name for Wesley yet, but give me time."

"Gunn calls me 'English' sometimes," Wesley offered tentatively.

Spike nodded in approval. "There you are, then."

Wesley smiled, then frowned. "I still feel like we haven't done enough for you yet." He waved at the sofa, table, and TV. "These accommodations are all well and good, but you've earned so much more."

"Yeah, can we get you anything else?" Gunn offered. "A footstool, cigarettes, spending money, the eyes of my first-born? Anything?"

"Huh." Spike considered. "Well, Lorne is already out rounding up the latest episodes of 'Passions.' You two could fetch me a copy of the 'Dawson's Creek' finale. I heard what happened but I want to see for myself." Gunn and Wesley obediently scampered away, while Spike rolled onto his back and grinned up at Angel. "Do you know, all those years everyone was sure Dawson and Joey would end up together because they're soulmates, but when push came to shove, she chose to be with Pacey. Makes you think twice about our situation with Buffy, doesn't it?"

Angel's eyes narrowed. His fists clenched. He took another step toward the unprotected, vulnerable Spike, all the while forming an enticing image of himself grabbing the blond by the scruff of his scrawny neck and shaking him like a terrier would a rat.

"Uh, uh, uh." Spike wagged an admonishing finger. "You can't lay a hand on me, or Buffy would be brassed off and would never forgive you. I'm in her heart now, remember?"

"Dammit." Knowing Spike was right, Angel forced his fingers to straighten and his eyes to return to normal as he backed off.

"Well, now that's settled." Spike cocked his head and sat up. "You know, since I'm going to be part of the team, we need to make some changes 'round here. Angel Investigations sounds kind of pansyish. I was thinking we could change the name of the place to something like 'The Spike Agency'..."

end