Akane the Suicidal
After being introduced to the class, Ranma was seated a bit behind Akane and off by two rows. Every so often during the teacher's lecture, he would precariously pass glances towards his fiancee. Akane was cheerfully typing away on her laptop, while being the only one in the class with one. Ranma didn't have to be a genius to realize that sharp, pointy objects like pencils and pens were a no-no with the girl. Plus, as further precaution, the laptop was a titanium Apple Notebook with battery power, so that she couldn't attempt to strangler herself with a powercord, or electicute herself by taking it apart. Akane also was the only one in the class with her very own school nurse standing guard over her; once again, nothing surprising from what he's seen about her today.
Ranma dropped his head onto his desk, and then covered it with both arms. The groan from his desk attracted Akane's attention, as she turned around, and looked at him with some concern.
_________________
"So, you're Akane's new bodyguard?" One of the boys of his class asked during lunch.
Ranma grumbled, while viciously stuffing a piece of food from his bento into his mouth. From the extremely irritated attitude, the group of boys that surrounded him took that for a 'yes'. They also had to hand it to Ranma; every other bodyguard that had been hired for the youngest Tendou daughter had had a nervous breakdown by now.
"Man, I don't pity you," another boy stated, "I mean, Akane's cute and all, but rather... high maintnance, if you know what I mean." The other boys nodded in unison.
"What's so cute about that psycho-chick?" Ranma growled, spraying a few bits of food, as he was still chewing when he responded. His mind started supplying the list for him involentarily.
"Well, she is psychotic, alright. It's scary how she acts so cheerful, yet tries to off herself every opportunity she can get... by the way, where is Akane?"
Ranma stopped the chopsticks right in his mouth, as the question's signifigance struck him. His eyes went wide.
"Well, she's not on top of the belltower, this time," one boy announced, shielding his eyes as he looked up.
"Nobodie's running screaming from the chem lab," another boy announced.
"Hmm, my bets that she's... Ranma?" the group of boys looked around, "Where'd he go?"
_________________
Ranma wasn't accustomed to shouting such colorful streams of obscenities, in fact, he would be extremely surprised to hear what he was saying. As it was, the surpised, shocked, embarrassed, and some slightly aroused expressions of teachers and students he ran by more than made up for his lack thereof.
"WHERE'S AKANE?!?!" the pigtailed boy shouted, grabbing a random girl to interrogate.
The girl's hair finally relaxed from its horizontal position, before she responded with rounded eyes, "You mean, you already lost her?"
"Shit!" Ranma quickly ran through the school, grabbing students, and asking the vital question. In the back of his mind, he wondered exactly why in the Hell he was bothering; if the girl was that Hellbent on offing herself, why stand in her way?
Ranma ended up at the front of the school, still no sign of Akane. With despair, Ranma slumped to the ground.
"Hmm, that felt way too soft to be concrete," Akane, a.k.a. 'despair', commented with a puzzled tone, as she picked herself off the ground. She then looked down on what she had landed on, and blinked, "Ranma, what are you doing down there?"
"Realigning my SPINE!" Ranma gritted, before pulling his face out from the indenture it made in the concrete, and asking with saccharine sweetness, "And where, prey tell, did you just come from?"
"Third floor, head first," Akane stated casually. Akane stood up, and dusted off the clean jumper the school supplied for her, so that she didn't disturb the other students, as Ranma picked himself off the ground, flexing his hands menacingly. Akane looked up at the clocktower, "Oh! Lunch is almost over! Let's go, Ranma, I have to go to the bathroom, first before we get to class."
Akane walked back into the school, leaving Ranma grinding his teeth, as his hands flexed and his left eye spasmed.
_________________
Ranma had regained his senses enough to remember that following Akane would be the best idea to prevent Akane from falling three stories onto the top of his head again. He had been oblvious to where he was heading, until she turned around, and stopped him with her hand on his chest, and an irritated expression on her face.
"And exactly WHERE do you think you're going?" Akane asked, before realizing her hand was against Ranma's chest. Blushing slightly, she pulled it away, but looked back at him with the same irritated frown.
"Until we get this engagement mess cleared up, wherever you go, I go!"
"But this is the girl's bathroom!" Akane whispered harshly, while pointing to the sign on the door.
"Oh," Ranma replied with a subdued tone, "Well, hurry up, so we can get to class before we're late." Akane nodded, and walked in to do her business. Ranma only had to wait a minute.
"NOT AGAIN!" A girl shouted from inside the bathroom.
"QUICK, FLUSH, FLUSH!" Another girl screamed out, "THAT WILL DRAIN THE WATER FOR A SECOND!"
"At least she picked a clean stall," a third girl stated, with more than a little concern in her voice.
Ranma quickly rushed into the bathroom, and found the attention of six girls, not including Akane, looking directly at him.
"EEK! A PERVERT IN THE BATHROOM!!!"
_________________
A black and blue bruised Ranma ran out of the bathroom, barely dodging the broom handle that missed the back of his head. He ran down the hall, until he found a water fountain, and quickly splashed himself. Ranma-chan ran back to the bathroom, to find blue-faced and smiling Akane laid out on the floor.
"I'm not giving her mouth-to-mouth," one of the girls stated firmly.
Ranma's left eye twitched.
_________________
"Yuck, toilet bowl cleaner!" Akane groused, just before gargling another mouthful of industrial strength mouthwash, "At least Mrs. Yamato is always thorough with the girl's bathroom, you could probably eat off the floor in there!" Ranma wasn't responding, instead choosing to gargle his own bottle of mouthwash... her third bottle.
_________________
"Come on, Ranma, I said I was sorry!" Akane whined, as Ranma continued to look forward, and ignore the girl beside her, as they walked home. The nightmare that had been Ranma's first day of school had ended, and it didn't get any better, as she was forced to demonstrate her curse to the school nurse; even forgetting to turn herself back into a guy, as her nerves were too frayed to think straight. The redhead had a few things to discuss with parental figures.
"Ranma! I wasn't intending for you to get hurt, you just sort of happened in the way!"
"Happened in the way?" Ranma repeated in a manic tone, "HAPPENED THAT WAY?!?" Ranma turned on the other girl with a wild expression, "WELL NEXT TIME, I'LL MAKE SURE TO LOOK UP TO AVOID ANY FALLING SUICIDEES!!!"
"That's hardly fair!" Akane whimpered.
"YOU WANT TO TALK 'FAIR'?" The redhead snarled, getting closer into Akane's face, "I'M ENGAGED TO A PSYCHO-CHICK THAT HAS A HAPPY-GO-LUCKY DEATH WISH! NOT ONLY THAT, I'M STUCK HAVING TO SAVE HER WHENEVER SHE GETS THE URGE TO START CHOKING DOWN TOILET WATER!!! DOES THAT SOUND FAIR TO YOU, YOU NUT-JOB?!?"
Akane retracted her hand, as her eyes gleamed with tears, "Well, if that's what you think about me... I... I..." Akane sobbed, and ran from Ranma. The pigtailed girl really felt like a heel, but the feeling passed, as she had to dive to tackle Akane out of the way of a car.
"WHAT. THE. HELL. IS. WRONG. WITH. YOU?!?" Ranma shouted fiercely at the girl underneigth her.
"You saved me again..." Akane said with more than a little awe.
Ranma baulked at Akane's expression, finding something in her chest studdering.
"C-cute..." Ranma-chan thought to herself, "Ah... well, ah... it was nutt'n... really."
"You really do care about me!" Akane stated, cutting Ranma off, "Thank you."
"Ah..." Ranma found Akane leaning closer to her, before the redhead realized the other girl's intentions. She also then realized her state of gender, "Uh, Akane, we're both gi-"
Akane cut Ranma off once again, this time with a kiss. The pigtailed girl froze, as the other girl's lips met hers, incidentally turning Ranma's brain to mush. It took several moments before it could reform itself, and assert its authority over its body. Ranma pulled back, barely escaping Akane trying to gain another kiss, "Akane?" Akane leaned forward again, forcing Ranma to lean back, almost falling flat onto the stre... she just noticed the way Akane's eyes kept surrepticiously looking to the side.
Bearing down on them, was a speeding cement mixer truck, with a driver that had been thoroughly shocked to find two girls kissing in the middle of the street. Too shocked, in fact, to remember that his vehicle had breaks.
Ranma-chan's eyes grew wider, as the truck grew closer, "Oh, cra-...."
_________________
"Welcome home Ranma, Akane," Kasumi greeted, "You two are a little late, but that's okay."
The redheaded girl with a truck grill imprint on her face didn't respond. Instead, Ranma glowered forward, and unceremoniously dropped his chained up fiancee onto the ground.
"Hey! That hurt!" Akane complained, as she writhed within her restraints.
"MR. TENDOU!!!!" Ranma-chan bellowed, allowing her battle-aura to manifest.
"Is there something I could do for you, Ranma my boy?" The Tendou Patrairch responded, as he walked towards the angry girl.
At that point, Ranma realized it wouldn't be good to... 'discuss...' things with her host while she was this mad. She had to relief some of the anger she was feeling, she needed...
"POP!!!"
"What's your problem, boy?" Genma responded, unconcernadly, as he waited for Soun to return to their game. He looked up in time to find Ranma rapidly stalking towards him, while her battle aura was growing with every step.
Ranma growled, as she finished with her father, before turning and stalking at a more moderate pace towards a pale-faced Soun.
"About this engagement..." Ranma seethed out.
"Well, ah...." Soun studdered before he was graciously saved... er... interrupted.
"Daddy! Another 'job' for you," Nabiki called out from where she was holding the phone.
Soun nodded to his middle daughter, and then whimpered, before turning back to Ranma, "Ah... lookslikewe'llhavetocontinuethisconversationanothertimegottarunbye!" With that, Soun quickly rushed towards the front door, not even pausing as he grabbed the black ninja mask his middle daughter was holding up for him.
The redhead felt the need to scream at being blown off. She *knew* she was being evaded, that Soun was going to avoid talking to her as much as possible. Ranma felt the scream of rage building up in her throat, she needed the release, to...
"POP!!!!"
The mass of twisted flesh by the shogi board whimpered in agony and fear...
After being introduced to the class, Ranma was seated a bit behind Akane and off by two rows. Every so often during the teacher's lecture, he would precariously pass glances towards his fiancee. Akane was cheerfully typing away on her laptop, while being the only one in the class with one. Ranma didn't have to be a genius to realize that sharp, pointy objects like pencils and pens were a no-no with the girl. Plus, as further precaution, the laptop was a titanium Apple Notebook with battery power, so that she couldn't attempt to strangler herself with a powercord, or electicute herself by taking it apart. Akane also was the only one in the class with her very own school nurse standing guard over her; once again, nothing surprising from what he's seen about her today.
Ranma dropped his head onto his desk, and then covered it with both arms. The groan from his desk attracted Akane's attention, as she turned around, and looked at him with some concern.
_________________
"So, you're Akane's new bodyguard?" One of the boys of his class asked during lunch.
Ranma grumbled, while viciously stuffing a piece of food from his bento into his mouth. From the extremely irritated attitude, the group of boys that surrounded him took that for a 'yes'. They also had to hand it to Ranma; every other bodyguard that had been hired for the youngest Tendou daughter had had a nervous breakdown by now.
"Man, I don't pity you," another boy stated, "I mean, Akane's cute and all, but rather... high maintnance, if you know what I mean." The other boys nodded in unison.
"What's so cute about that psycho-chick?" Ranma growled, spraying a few bits of food, as he was still chewing when he responded. His mind started supplying the list for him involentarily.
"Well, she is psychotic, alright. It's scary how she acts so cheerful, yet tries to off herself every opportunity she can get... by the way, where is Akane?"
Ranma stopped the chopsticks right in his mouth, as the question's signifigance struck him. His eyes went wide.
"Well, she's not on top of the belltower, this time," one boy announced, shielding his eyes as he looked up.
"Nobodie's running screaming from the chem lab," another boy announced.
"Hmm, my bets that she's... Ranma?" the group of boys looked around, "Where'd he go?"
_________________
Ranma wasn't accustomed to shouting such colorful streams of obscenities, in fact, he would be extremely surprised to hear what he was saying. As it was, the surpised, shocked, embarrassed, and some slightly aroused expressions of teachers and students he ran by more than made up for his lack thereof.
"WHERE'S AKANE?!?!" the pigtailed boy shouted, grabbing a random girl to interrogate.
The girl's hair finally relaxed from its horizontal position, before she responded with rounded eyes, "You mean, you already lost her?"
"Shit!" Ranma quickly ran through the school, grabbing students, and asking the vital question. In the back of his mind, he wondered exactly why in the Hell he was bothering; if the girl was that Hellbent on offing herself, why stand in her way?
Ranma ended up at the front of the school, still no sign of Akane. With despair, Ranma slumped to the ground.
"Hmm, that felt way too soft to be concrete," Akane, a.k.a. 'despair', commented with a puzzled tone, as she picked herself off the ground. She then looked down on what she had landed on, and blinked, "Ranma, what are you doing down there?"
"Realigning my SPINE!" Ranma gritted, before pulling his face out from the indenture it made in the concrete, and asking with saccharine sweetness, "And where, prey tell, did you just come from?"
"Third floor, head first," Akane stated casually. Akane stood up, and dusted off the clean jumper the school supplied for her, so that she didn't disturb the other students, as Ranma picked himself off the ground, flexing his hands menacingly. Akane looked up at the clocktower, "Oh! Lunch is almost over! Let's go, Ranma, I have to go to the bathroom, first before we get to class."
Akane walked back into the school, leaving Ranma grinding his teeth, as his hands flexed and his left eye spasmed.
_________________
Ranma had regained his senses enough to remember that following Akane would be the best idea to prevent Akane from falling three stories onto the top of his head again. He had been oblvious to where he was heading, until she turned around, and stopped him with her hand on his chest, and an irritated expression on her face.
"And exactly WHERE do you think you're going?" Akane asked, before realizing her hand was against Ranma's chest. Blushing slightly, she pulled it away, but looked back at him with the same irritated frown.
"Until we get this engagement mess cleared up, wherever you go, I go!"
"But this is the girl's bathroom!" Akane whispered harshly, while pointing to the sign on the door.
"Oh," Ranma replied with a subdued tone, "Well, hurry up, so we can get to class before we're late." Akane nodded, and walked in to do her business. Ranma only had to wait a minute.
"NOT AGAIN!" A girl shouted from inside the bathroom.
"QUICK, FLUSH, FLUSH!" Another girl screamed out, "THAT WILL DRAIN THE WATER FOR A SECOND!"
"At least she picked a clean stall," a third girl stated, with more than a little concern in her voice.
Ranma quickly rushed into the bathroom, and found the attention of six girls, not including Akane, looking directly at him.
"EEK! A PERVERT IN THE BATHROOM!!!"
_________________
A black and blue bruised Ranma ran out of the bathroom, barely dodging the broom handle that missed the back of his head. He ran down the hall, until he found a water fountain, and quickly splashed himself. Ranma-chan ran back to the bathroom, to find blue-faced and smiling Akane laid out on the floor.
"I'm not giving her mouth-to-mouth," one of the girls stated firmly.
Ranma's left eye twitched.
_________________
"Yuck, toilet bowl cleaner!" Akane groused, just before gargling another mouthful of industrial strength mouthwash, "At least Mrs. Yamato is always thorough with the girl's bathroom, you could probably eat off the floor in there!" Ranma wasn't responding, instead choosing to gargle his own bottle of mouthwash... her third bottle.
_________________
"Come on, Ranma, I said I was sorry!" Akane whined, as Ranma continued to look forward, and ignore the girl beside her, as they walked home. The nightmare that had been Ranma's first day of school had ended, and it didn't get any better, as she was forced to demonstrate her curse to the school nurse; even forgetting to turn herself back into a guy, as her nerves were too frayed to think straight. The redhead had a few things to discuss with parental figures.
"Ranma! I wasn't intending for you to get hurt, you just sort of happened in the way!"
"Happened in the way?" Ranma repeated in a manic tone, "HAPPENED THAT WAY?!?" Ranma turned on the other girl with a wild expression, "WELL NEXT TIME, I'LL MAKE SURE TO LOOK UP TO AVOID ANY FALLING SUICIDEES!!!"
"That's hardly fair!" Akane whimpered.
"YOU WANT TO TALK 'FAIR'?" The redhead snarled, getting closer into Akane's face, "I'M ENGAGED TO A PSYCHO-CHICK THAT HAS A HAPPY-GO-LUCKY DEATH WISH! NOT ONLY THAT, I'M STUCK HAVING TO SAVE HER WHENEVER SHE GETS THE URGE TO START CHOKING DOWN TOILET WATER!!! DOES THAT SOUND FAIR TO YOU, YOU NUT-JOB?!?"
Akane retracted her hand, as her eyes gleamed with tears, "Well, if that's what you think about me... I... I..." Akane sobbed, and ran from Ranma. The pigtailed girl really felt like a heel, but the feeling passed, as she had to dive to tackle Akane out of the way of a car.
"WHAT. THE. HELL. IS. WRONG. WITH. YOU?!?" Ranma shouted fiercely at the girl underneigth her.
"You saved me again..." Akane said with more than a little awe.
Ranma baulked at Akane's expression, finding something in her chest studdering.
"C-cute..." Ranma-chan thought to herself, "Ah... well, ah... it was nutt'n... really."
"You really do care about me!" Akane stated, cutting Ranma off, "Thank you."
"Ah..." Ranma found Akane leaning closer to her, before the redhead realized the other girl's intentions. She also then realized her state of gender, "Uh, Akane, we're both gi-"
Akane cut Ranma off once again, this time with a kiss. The pigtailed girl froze, as the other girl's lips met hers, incidentally turning Ranma's brain to mush. It took several moments before it could reform itself, and assert its authority over its body. Ranma pulled back, barely escaping Akane trying to gain another kiss, "Akane?" Akane leaned forward again, forcing Ranma to lean back, almost falling flat onto the stre... she just noticed the way Akane's eyes kept surrepticiously looking to the side.
Bearing down on them, was a speeding cement mixer truck, with a driver that had been thoroughly shocked to find two girls kissing in the middle of the street. Too shocked, in fact, to remember that his vehicle had breaks.
Ranma-chan's eyes grew wider, as the truck grew closer, "Oh, cra-...."
_________________
"Welcome home Ranma, Akane," Kasumi greeted, "You two are a little late, but that's okay."
The redheaded girl with a truck grill imprint on her face didn't respond. Instead, Ranma glowered forward, and unceremoniously dropped his chained up fiancee onto the ground.
"Hey! That hurt!" Akane complained, as she writhed within her restraints.
"MR. TENDOU!!!!" Ranma-chan bellowed, allowing her battle-aura to manifest.
"Is there something I could do for you, Ranma my boy?" The Tendou Patrairch responded, as he walked towards the angry girl.
At that point, Ranma realized it wouldn't be good to... 'discuss...' things with her host while she was this mad. She had to relief some of the anger she was feeling, she needed...
"POP!!!"
"What's your problem, boy?" Genma responded, unconcernadly, as he waited for Soun to return to their game. He looked up in time to find Ranma rapidly stalking towards him, while her battle aura was growing with every step.
Ranma growled, as she finished with her father, before turning and stalking at a more moderate pace towards a pale-faced Soun.
"About this engagement..." Ranma seethed out.
"Well, ah...." Soun studdered before he was graciously saved... er... interrupted.
"Daddy! Another 'job' for you," Nabiki called out from where she was holding the phone.
Soun nodded to his middle daughter, and then whimpered, before turning back to Ranma, "Ah... lookslikewe'llhavetocontinuethisconversationanothertimegottarunbye!" With that, Soun quickly rushed towards the front door, not even pausing as he grabbed the black ninja mask his middle daughter was holding up for him.
The redhead felt the need to scream at being blown off. She *knew* she was being evaded, that Soun was going to avoid talking to her as much as possible. Ranma felt the scream of rage building up in her throat, she needed the release, to...
"POP!!!!"
The mass of twisted flesh by the shogi board whimpered in agony and fear...