I don't own Johnny, or Squee. They belong to the wonderful Jhonen Vasquez, whom I absolutely love. (Jhonen, you rock!) I do own Ariadne, but I just needed another character to put in there. nothing important. -not- a Mary-sue....

Anyhow.

Oh, yeah. This is later on in Squee's life. He's older and less innocent. ^_^ More cynical. Please review.

My name is Todd Casil. I'm 17 and still alone. People look at me weird still. They always have, but especially today. Why?

It's June 24th, and blistering hot. Everyone else, even my two good friends who normally wouldn't care, are wearing shorts and tee-shirts. I'm wearing boots, black shorts and a tee-shirt and, of course, a black trench coat. They haven't seen me a day without it, as of yet.

Why?

It's important to me.

I've shot up this year. I always was a small kid. Pepito and Ariadne never cease to remind me of that. I never cease to remind them that this year I'm taller then both of them. 6'3". Pretty good for a kid who doesn't get a decent meal very often. My eyebrow is pierced simply with a slender silver ring, and my left ear has three new holes in it.

Ariadne says she worries about me, that because of my experiences I'm going to go out and kill everyone someday. Like he does.

I replied I'd just recommend them to a good friend of mine. The subject has yet to be brought up again. About him, my friend. The reason I'm not only skin and bones (literally of course). The reason I have this coat. House number 777, creator of Happy Noodle Boy, (who's so annoying, trust me, I've read it all). Johnny C., or Nny as he prefers to be called.

About six years ago, (that would have made me eleven.. I have no idea what Johnny's age is anyway) he just... I don't even know why. Just started acting civil. He'd bring me food when 'mommy dearest' and my 'wonderful daddy' used to send me to bed without food.

I remember one instance, when I was just about thirteen during the winter. He broke my window to get in to get a band-aid. I was freezing, but you know how it is, or at least, being the wonderous humans with imaginations you are, you can imagine it. So, here I am, malnourished and tired from being woken up, freezing, and my window gets opened once again. He ended up climbing back through and handing me a coat.

*flashback*

"Here," said Johnny quietly. "I didn't mean to break your window. I just got so... angry that it wouldn't open."

"Isn't this your coat?" I asked, amazed at any sympathy.

"Well, yeah. I didn't want you to freeze of anything, Squeegee."

"Oh... Thanks."

*end flashback*

Basically, though I hate to say it, because it sounds so hurtful to anyone -but- him, but I'm his only friend. And that girl... Devi. Not that's I'm one to talk, certainly not over-popular or anything. But that's aside from the point. I'm his only... what's the word I'm looking for... Oh, yes, his only confidant.

You're going to have problems when you are a homicidal maniac who had a creature in his wall's confidant and unofficial therapist. Also if your mother could never remember your name and your father hates your guts. I've got all of them, and I've turned out pretty well.

In the famous words of Ariadne, 'riiiiight, Squee.'

Sometimes I think she and Pepito know me too well. They suit each other (though they don't know that yet).

"Squee, Squee, Squee, Squee..."

"Hmm?"

"He's over there, Squee. He's been trying to get your attention," said Ariadne, flinching lightly.

I've told her a hundred times he won't hurt her. Or Pepito.

"Well," Pepito said expectantly. "You're going to just sit there?"

I laughed half-heartedly. "Oh yeah," and walked over.

"Hello, Nny."

"Hey, Squeegee. How goes it."

"It goes, and yourself?" It had almost gotten to a ritual with us, this conversation. I knew the answers and questions by heart.

"The same." He'd almost become a twisted father-figure in my life. The one to pick me up when I needed help, to feed me when I wasn't getting fed, to give me extra money for going to the mall with Ariadne and Pepito (though heaven or hell knows where he gets it. He doesn't have a job). The one to care for me when times were tough. And vice-versa.

"Your friends are doing well, I trust."

"Hey, kid who'd that freak you're talking to?" Some jock whom I'd had the pleasure to annoy with my presence earlier.

Dammit. "Why the hell do you care?"

"You and him both, then? Both of you are freaks."

Pepito glared daggers through the kid. "I believe you should shut up now." And the kid did. Pepito has that affect on people. He used to on me as well. I grew out of it. I grew out of a lot of things.

I saw the flesh that's been darkened by lack of sleep beneath Johnny's eye twitch.

"Don't let him get to you. He's not worth it, Nny."

He smiled, running a spindly hand through his dark spiky hair. His face looked sallow and drawn.

"You haven't been sleeping." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"Can't."

I nodded. And he left, knowing I'd come see him later, through the window. I was proud of that, if nothing else, that I could probably leap from my window to his.

"Freak," I heard the jock mutter. "All of you."

Pepito glared again, and Ariadne did as well. I added my bit of course, couldn't stand it when they insulted him. It was people like that that made him this way. "Difference isn't necessarily a bad thing. But someone with such a small mind could never understand."

I just hoped, for his sake, that Johnny didn't get him.

Ariadne shuddered, pushing some light blue hair out of her face. "He does frighten me a bit though, Squee."

I decided I would stop listening at that point.

And eventually got home, walking of course. And climbed through his window to see him come up from the cellar. He nodded at me, tired dark eyes rimmed in red from lack of sleep.

"You want to talk, I assume?"

"Of course."

And of course, about his least favorite thing yet most favorite subject.

"Why didn't you tell me they made fun of you at school?"

"I didn't feel at was necessary." I shrugged lightly, looking more like him then I could ever of my parents.

"Why do they?"

At this I almost rolled my eyes. "I'm different."

His eyes narrowed. "Don't you hate their ignorance, though?"

I've always been the softer of us two. No surprise there. "I pity them."

"Of course. I don't understand it, Todd, (he rarely called me that, only when he was saying something important) I really don't. It's unnecessary. They're unnecessary. Expendable. Yet I know I can't go on like this, killing anyone who gets in my way. I feel more and more detached every day. I need help, but I'm afraid."

Sometimes, through the fog of his insanity, he had the most amazingly lucid moments. Of course, he was only human... Well, kind of. He did die once and come back... But that's more profound then I like to think about. "I'll help you as much as I can, Nny. I owe it to you. You should catch some sleep, you know."

He nodded, lying down on the couch, free of at least fresh blood stains. "I'm going to go, Nny. And, for what it's worth, thanks."

Sometimes I wondered how this could possibly help my state of already being traumatized enough for several lifetimes, befriending Nny. And then I remember that I couldn't have survived nearly as well without him.

We were each other's only friend, I supposed.

I silently climbed back into my window and slipped into my bed, now far too small, and watched the monsters around, again. But this time, instead of taking on his face, it would take one theirs.

I don't even know why I wrote this. Needed to get it out of my head. I like to think that even though Nny scares the Hell out of Squee, they'd get along quite well when Squee could get it all.

Please review, I'm desperate. Flames are welcome. Constructive criticism as well. thanks. - Anathema (formerly Unwilling Angel)