Akane the Suicidal
"This is all your fault, you know?"
Ranma wasn't goig to dignify that with a response.
The raven-haired girl shifted in her step, while trying to get as comfortable as possible with the two buckets of water she's carrying, "Honestly, why did you have to mess with Kuno? We had almost made it!"
Ranma decided to change the subject, before he became the instrument of Akane's demise. With a tight voice, Ranma enquired, "Tell me, what in the world did you do to piss that guy off so much?"
Akane blinked, and then turned to look forward, "I'm not too sure. He used to always bug me a while ago about dating him. At first I was flattered, until he started getting pushy."
"This almost sounds normal," Ranma commented.
Akane continued, "He was always going on about me being his tigress or something, and that we were meant to be together." Akane chuckled to herself, "Geez, am I glad all boys aren't like that!" Akane turned to Ranma, before sobering up at his rather unamused expression, "Anyways, I said 'why not? I'll give him one date. Hopefully that would at least shut him up. My Dad and sisters were extatic about it, and Kuno got the usual speech from Daddy about making sure his little girl is safe from harm... or else, I wish he wasn't so overprotective..."
Ranma's face twitched.
"Well, me and Kuno went out once, and ever since, he's been trying to kill me." Ranma waited for the punchline; obviously something was missing from the equation.
"That doesn't explain why he's after your head, Akane..."
The girl shrugged, "He keeps saying I was trying to kill him, so he's got it in his head that he needs to get me before I get him. The guy is totally paranoid!"
"Do tell," Ranma responded with a half-lidded stare, "And how many attempts did he get in the way of?"
"Well, there was the puddle of water with a downed powerline laying in it that he just *had* to lay his coat across for me to step on," Akane grumbled in irritation, "Then there was the bus, I told him to look both ways before following me. Oh, and also the metal shavings in the pizza, and the..."
"Enough, enough," Ranma interrupted, wanting to rub his forehead in irritation, but finding the buckets in the way, "Really... there has to be a reason to all this, no one just up and attempts to off themselves at any concievableGET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THAT BUCKET!"
"silence, Saotome," The teacher's voice called out from inside the classroom, "And Akane, remove your head from the bucket, before I am forced to assign you detention."
"*Cough* sorry, teacher," Akane replied sheepishly.
Ranma mocked-repeated Akane, before blowing out a puff of air in disgust, "Psycho chick."
"Why are you always calling me names?" Akane asked, turning to look at Ranma with an upset expression. Ranma turned, and opened his mouth to retort, right before seeing how upset the girl seemed at the comment.
The pigtailed boy turned away, "Akane, why can't you just act normal?"
Akane turned and looked to her other side, before facing forward again, "We may just have to save that question for some other time."
"What'dyou-" Ranma turned into a thrust kick, which stopped the bokkenblade just an inch from Akane's head, and then snapped his foot into the owner's face.
"I see the hold this foul demoness maintains over you is strong," Kuno stated calmly, albiet muffled from the bottom of Ranma's sole.
"I'm already being punished enough as it is by association," Ranma said in a tired tone, "Would you mind saving it for somewhere when we won't cause heavy damage via your thick head?"
"Destruction of the property of athis fair establishment is far from my intention," Kuno stated, after pulling back from Ranma's foot, "But I would think thou woulds't stand aside, and allow me to free you from your Hellish engagement to Akane Tendou.
"ENGAGEMENT?!?"
"Oh man, my condolences, Saotome."
"Geez, a widower, and he ain't even out of highschool yet!"
"Hey! He isn't even married to Akane yet!"
"Yeah, she isn't even dead yet!"
"IT WAS OUR PARENT'S IDEA!" Akane challenged, adimantly. Ranma moaned, as he continued to slam his head into the wall repeatedly.
The action didn't go unnoticed by Kuno, "Pardon me, Saotome, are you Jewish?"
Ranma looked up, and blinked at the question. Ranma then sighed, "Look, Kuno, I'll tell you what, you beat me in a fight, I'll let you do whatever you want with Akane, deal?"
Akane began to fume indignatly, "I'm not some sort of prize, you know?"
"Very well, Saotome. Though the dark sorceress's magics continue to blind you, you retain your honor. Lead the path, my good man."
Ranma walked down the hall, and turned to look out a window, "Here' we'll exit here!"
Kuno approached the window, and looked out with a bit of concern, "It appears that Akane has affected your rational of survival. We are on the third floooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrr-"
Ranma shut the window, not even hearing the splash from the pool outside. He calmly returned to the two buckets waiting for him, picked them up, and resumed his punishment. Suddenly, Ranma felt like whistling.
The entire class, including Akane, looked upon their newest student nervously.
_____________________
"Hello, Mr. Tendou," Ranma started, kicking his father into the pond outside, and then sitting at the place he had just inhabited in front of the shougi table.
Soun looked nervously at the panda, who decided that it suddenly would be enjoyable to play with this here old tire, than resume his game with its training partner.
"Ah, R-Ranma," Soun gulped, "Is there something I can do for you?"
"Yup! There sure is!" Ranma smiled a cheerful smile, before his face went stone serious, "You see? This engagement with the dead-girl-walking, I think it would be within everyone's best intrests if you called it off."
Soun straightened up, "Now why would I want to do a thing like that?"
"Because you don't want to die?" Ranma asked cheerfully, before his face returned to stone seriousness.
Soun's own expression grew serious, "Are you threatening me?"
Ranma seemed to ponder the thought for a moment, "why yes, yes I am. Sorry if there was any confusion there."
"Y-y-y...." Ranma rolled his eyes, as it looked like his potential (if temporary) father-in-law was about to burst into another crying fit.
"Please, Mr. Tendou, don't make me search you for a spine, I can promise it wouldn't be pleasant."
Soun sobered up, "Ah... well I'm afraid that Kasumi and Nabiki are unavailable."
Ranma tilted his head, and asked more out of curiosity than any concern, "how so?"
"Ah, Kasumi is seeing that nice doctor that you took Akane to yesterday."
"And Nabiki?"
"She's... ah... seeing someone too."
"Oh," Ranma replied, "Anyway, call the engagement off."
"Well, Ranma, you see..."
"Father, telephone!"
"ThankyouKasumiI'msorryRanmabutwe'llhavetocontinuethisatanothertime..."
Ranma blinked, and realized he was staring at an empty spot, before groaning in fustration.
_____________________
"You know? This gets pretty comfortable, after a while," Akane stated, still chained upside down. She turned to find Ranma entering her room, looking downcrested, "Still no luck, huh?"
Ranma gave her a withering glance, before sitting down in the deskchair.
Akane frowned, "Would it really be that bad to be married to me?"
"Let's just say the idea of attempting to spend the rest of my life with someone who turns suicide watch into a contact sport doesn't exactly have its appeal.
"Well, our fathers would be pretty happy if we did end up together."
Ranma looked up, and studied Akane for several moments, noting that the girl didn't even sound adverse to the idea, before shaking his head, and looking to the window, "Like I care what my Pops has to say about this."
"What about your mother? I bet she would be happy to see you married."
Ranma once again looked at Akane, "You know? I never really thought much about my Mom. I haven't even seen her since me and Pops left home ten years ago."
"That's sad," Akane stated, somberly, "Our mother died when I was about seven."
"I'm sorry to hear that." Ranma apologised, genuinely. The pigtailed boy began to muse in that line of thought, "Say, all this wouldn't have anything to do with that, would it?"
"I don't think so," akane replied, furrowing her brow in concertation, "Anyway, are you going to let me down? I have to do my homework!"
"Fine, fine," Ranma pulled out Akane's lap top, and then got a chair to get Akane down. As he did this, Akane wondered about the boy that was going through so much trouble for her. She wasn't blind to how irritated he was with her, yet he remained somewhat courteous, nice at times even. Akane decided that she needed to do something to repay his kindness, and considered several ways to do so...
"This is all your fault, you know?"
Ranma wasn't goig to dignify that with a response.
The raven-haired girl shifted in her step, while trying to get as comfortable as possible with the two buckets of water she's carrying, "Honestly, why did you have to mess with Kuno? We had almost made it!"
Ranma decided to change the subject, before he became the instrument of Akane's demise. With a tight voice, Ranma enquired, "Tell me, what in the world did you do to piss that guy off so much?"
Akane blinked, and then turned to look forward, "I'm not too sure. He used to always bug me a while ago about dating him. At first I was flattered, until he started getting pushy."
"This almost sounds normal," Ranma commented.
Akane continued, "He was always going on about me being his tigress or something, and that we were meant to be together." Akane chuckled to herself, "Geez, am I glad all boys aren't like that!" Akane turned to Ranma, before sobering up at his rather unamused expression, "Anyways, I said 'why not? I'll give him one date. Hopefully that would at least shut him up. My Dad and sisters were extatic about it, and Kuno got the usual speech from Daddy about making sure his little girl is safe from harm... or else, I wish he wasn't so overprotective..."
Ranma's face twitched.
"Well, me and Kuno went out once, and ever since, he's been trying to kill me." Ranma waited for the punchline; obviously something was missing from the equation.
"That doesn't explain why he's after your head, Akane..."
The girl shrugged, "He keeps saying I was trying to kill him, so he's got it in his head that he needs to get me before I get him. The guy is totally paranoid!"
"Do tell," Ranma responded with a half-lidded stare, "And how many attempts did he get in the way of?"
"Well, there was the puddle of water with a downed powerline laying in it that he just *had* to lay his coat across for me to step on," Akane grumbled in irritation, "Then there was the bus, I told him to look both ways before following me. Oh, and also the metal shavings in the pizza, and the..."
"Enough, enough," Ranma interrupted, wanting to rub his forehead in irritation, but finding the buckets in the way, "Really... there has to be a reason to all this, no one just up and attempts to off themselves at any concievableGET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THAT BUCKET!"
"silence, Saotome," The teacher's voice called out from inside the classroom, "And Akane, remove your head from the bucket, before I am forced to assign you detention."
"*Cough* sorry, teacher," Akane replied sheepishly.
Ranma mocked-repeated Akane, before blowing out a puff of air in disgust, "Psycho chick."
"Why are you always calling me names?" Akane asked, turning to look at Ranma with an upset expression. Ranma turned, and opened his mouth to retort, right before seeing how upset the girl seemed at the comment.
The pigtailed boy turned away, "Akane, why can't you just act normal?"
Akane turned and looked to her other side, before facing forward again, "We may just have to save that question for some other time."
"What'dyou-" Ranma turned into a thrust kick, which stopped the bokkenblade just an inch from Akane's head, and then snapped his foot into the owner's face.
"I see the hold this foul demoness maintains over you is strong," Kuno stated calmly, albiet muffled from the bottom of Ranma's sole.
"I'm already being punished enough as it is by association," Ranma said in a tired tone, "Would you mind saving it for somewhere when we won't cause heavy damage via your thick head?"
"Destruction of the property of athis fair establishment is far from my intention," Kuno stated, after pulling back from Ranma's foot, "But I would think thou woulds't stand aside, and allow me to free you from your Hellish engagement to Akane Tendou.
"ENGAGEMENT?!?"
"Oh man, my condolences, Saotome."
"Geez, a widower, and he ain't even out of highschool yet!"
"Hey! He isn't even married to Akane yet!"
"Yeah, she isn't even dead yet!"
"IT WAS OUR PARENT'S IDEA!" Akane challenged, adimantly. Ranma moaned, as he continued to slam his head into the wall repeatedly.
The action didn't go unnoticed by Kuno, "Pardon me, Saotome, are you Jewish?"
Ranma looked up, and blinked at the question. Ranma then sighed, "Look, Kuno, I'll tell you what, you beat me in a fight, I'll let you do whatever you want with Akane, deal?"
Akane began to fume indignatly, "I'm not some sort of prize, you know?"
"Very well, Saotome. Though the dark sorceress's magics continue to blind you, you retain your honor. Lead the path, my good man."
Ranma walked down the hall, and turned to look out a window, "Here' we'll exit here!"
Kuno approached the window, and looked out with a bit of concern, "It appears that Akane has affected your rational of survival. We are on the third floooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrr-"
Ranma shut the window, not even hearing the splash from the pool outside. He calmly returned to the two buckets waiting for him, picked them up, and resumed his punishment. Suddenly, Ranma felt like whistling.
The entire class, including Akane, looked upon their newest student nervously.
_____________________
"Hello, Mr. Tendou," Ranma started, kicking his father into the pond outside, and then sitting at the place he had just inhabited in front of the shougi table.
Soun looked nervously at the panda, who decided that it suddenly would be enjoyable to play with this here old tire, than resume his game with its training partner.
"Ah, R-Ranma," Soun gulped, "Is there something I can do for you?"
"Yup! There sure is!" Ranma smiled a cheerful smile, before his face went stone serious, "You see? This engagement with the dead-girl-walking, I think it would be within everyone's best intrests if you called it off."
Soun straightened up, "Now why would I want to do a thing like that?"
"Because you don't want to die?" Ranma asked cheerfully, before his face returned to stone seriousness.
Soun's own expression grew serious, "Are you threatening me?"
Ranma seemed to ponder the thought for a moment, "why yes, yes I am. Sorry if there was any confusion there."
"Y-y-y...." Ranma rolled his eyes, as it looked like his potential (if temporary) father-in-law was about to burst into another crying fit.
"Please, Mr. Tendou, don't make me search you for a spine, I can promise it wouldn't be pleasant."
Soun sobered up, "Ah... well I'm afraid that Kasumi and Nabiki are unavailable."
Ranma tilted his head, and asked more out of curiosity than any concern, "how so?"
"Ah, Kasumi is seeing that nice doctor that you took Akane to yesterday."
"And Nabiki?"
"She's... ah... seeing someone too."
"Oh," Ranma replied, "Anyway, call the engagement off."
"Well, Ranma, you see..."
"Father, telephone!"
"ThankyouKasumiI'msorryRanmabutwe'llhavetocontinuethisatanothertime..."
Ranma blinked, and realized he was staring at an empty spot, before groaning in fustration.
_____________________
"You know? This gets pretty comfortable, after a while," Akane stated, still chained upside down. She turned to find Ranma entering her room, looking downcrested, "Still no luck, huh?"
Ranma gave her a withering glance, before sitting down in the deskchair.
Akane frowned, "Would it really be that bad to be married to me?"
"Let's just say the idea of attempting to spend the rest of my life with someone who turns suicide watch into a contact sport doesn't exactly have its appeal.
"Well, our fathers would be pretty happy if we did end up together."
Ranma looked up, and studied Akane for several moments, noting that the girl didn't even sound adverse to the idea, before shaking his head, and looking to the window, "Like I care what my Pops has to say about this."
"What about your mother? I bet she would be happy to see you married."
Ranma once again looked at Akane, "You know? I never really thought much about my Mom. I haven't even seen her since me and Pops left home ten years ago."
"That's sad," Akane stated, somberly, "Our mother died when I was about seven."
"I'm sorry to hear that." Ranma apologised, genuinely. The pigtailed boy began to muse in that line of thought, "Say, all this wouldn't have anything to do with that, would it?"
"I don't think so," akane replied, furrowing her brow in concertation, "Anyway, are you going to let me down? I have to do my homework!"
"Fine, fine," Ranma pulled out Akane's lap top, and then got a chair to get Akane down. As he did this, Akane wondered about the boy that was going through so much trouble for her. She wasn't blind to how irritated he was with her, yet he remained somewhat courteous, nice at times even. Akane decided that she needed to do something to repay his kindness, and considered several ways to do so...