Pickles In My Porridge

漬物な私のおかゆ

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Takehito Koyasu © or Project Weiß ©. The fanfiction belongs to me.

Warning: Yaoi. Trust me, if you flame despite these warnings… well, I can only say that you're retarded.

Plot Cockroach: I was thinking about porridge when I wrote this… I know… Thinking about food even as I'm procrastinating and supposed to be replying mails, but I haven't updated in a long time and that's a bad thing. Anyway, this is about Ken and how he wants to please Ran like Shuichi to Yuki! Cooking is not hard... or is that a myth? Meanwhile, Omi discusses the significance of the 'bees thing' with the All-Wise Aya-kun...

Pairing: Ken x Ran, Yohji x Omi

Note: The characters look like that from the manga. It follows the storyline of Weiß, but only with the exception that Bad Luck are celebrities in their world! I wish they were in our world too… ^^;

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"Oh, Yuki!"

"Yes, baka?"

"Mou! You're so mean, Yuki! I… I… hee, hee, Yuki…" the pink haired boy shifted slightly as he looked at his lover. "Yuki, I made you something…"

"Hmm…" Yuki lifted an eyebrow. "Really? Just what can you do?"

"I made you breakfast."

"It's lunch now, you dimwit," Yuki rose, affectionately kissing the youth's forehead. "What is it, then?"

"Ramen!"

"What the… Ramen? That's instant, you big baka!" Yuki fumed. "Does that count as cooking?"

"But I…"

"Shuichi," Yuki relented as he sat down to the steaming bowl. "Sit down, eat."

The youth sniffed as he sat down. But, as Yuki ate, he lightened up a little and danced to an imaginary tune. He grinned as he looked on, dreamily. Yuki looked handsome no matter what he was doing. "Is it fine, Yuki?"

"No…"

Shuichi face-faulted. Yuki sighed. "Listen up. I haven't finished my sentence yet. It's wonderful."

"Aww…" Ken sniffed as he wiped a tear away. "How sweet… after all they've been through, they really do deserve each other."

"Kinda reminds me of you and Aya," Yohji muttered. "Hey, are you telling him?"

"What?" the brunet turned away, obviously trying to hide the blush spreading on his face.

"You like him." Yohji couldn't help but to smirk as he said those three words. He knew; Ken had an eye for their oh-so-great-fearless-leader, the Fujimiya. For a man with such wrath, Aya sure had a pretty face. Man, he even had eartails! To Yohji, a guy sporting eartails had something to be questioned – his sexual preference.

"I… c'mon, Yohji! Aya will kill me!"

"Will he? You're his teammate, Ken-Ken."

"Don't call me--- argh! Look, Aya may be gorgeous, but he… He hates me! I mean, when we first met ---"

"It was a match made in heaven. All spouses have tiffs, Ken-Ken…" Yohji waggled his brows suggestively. "A taste of the future, eh?"

"Yohji, I…" Ken looked away. "I'd like to imagine that, but…"

"But what?"

"You don't get it, do you? I'm clumsy, and he's graceful. I screw up, and he's a perfectionist. We're complete opposites! There's no way he'd like me. And besides, he's the… well; he's the… seme type! And so am I! We'll be fighting even in… bed."

"Whoa, whoa!" Yohji bowled over with laugher. "You think way too far, Ken-Ken! …But you know," Yohji leaned over, closer, grinning like a Cheshire cat did; "I like the way you think. Heh, heh."

Ken groaned. "I hate you."

"Liar," Yohji laughed. "Everyone loves Uncle Yohji!"

"So does Omi, huh?"

Yohji drew back, sulking. Ever since the day Omi had seen Yohji in his full glory, by accident, as he had slipped while getting out of the bathroom and the towel came flying off, the brunet had been avoiding his teammate. Well, so much for everyone's love for Uncle Yohji and his heavenly body! Ken and Aya hadn't been very sympathetic. In fact, Ken was howling with laughter and Aya had went 'Che', picked a broom up and smacked Yohji with it.

Ah, the good old days.

Ken snickered as he remembered the look on Omi's face as he fled.

"Yeah, laugh if you like," Yohji fumed. "The poor Uncle Yohji… suffering so much for the well-being of his ungrateful teammates…"

"…Hmm… heheh haa, ha ha ha!" Ken was hysterical. "Haahahahahaha!"

"Alright already!"

"Sorry…" Ken calmed down as quickly as he could, stifling a grin. "So, Yohji, what are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing!" the playboy threw his arms up into the air as a sign of exasperation. "Omi's Omi, he'll get over it. He always does. Remember that time when I walked in on him naked?"

"Yeah, and you made things worse by saying his ass was cute…" Ken wrinkled his nose.

"I was just trying to ease the tension! For Persia's sake, what are you, prudes?"

Ken stared at him.

"…Never mind," the brunet turned away, puffing on one of his cigarettes. Oh, that was one of those few things that made Omi mad, he should be doing it often now… Hell, wait a second! Why was he even bothered about what Omi thought of him? "Aaaaaargh! That's it! I'm going out!"

"WHA--- WAIT! It's YOUR turn to cook today!" Ken scrambled off the couch to tackle Yohji, who instinctively ducked.

"Well, duh, bad luck for you," the playboy grinned. "I don't feel like giving you guys diarrhea. And, if no one cooks dinner, Princess Fujimiya would be pissed. Don't leave me dinner, Ken-Ken, I'll be out all night, partying, in case you wanna know."

"I don't wanna know," Ken fumed. He chucked a sports magazine at Yohji, who ducked again and laughed as he stalked out of the room. Ken sat down again on the couch, sighing. Why did he always have to be the one to get the blame…?

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"Takatoriiii!"

Aya stabbed the ugly doll with a chopstick. "And take that, and that, and that! Ha, ha, suffer, fool!"

Knock, knock…

"Aya-kun?" A muffled voice was heard from the other side of the wooden door. The redhead got up, his mood now lighter, to answer it. Omi smiled at him cheerfully. "Can I have a word with you, please?"

"Very well," Aya relented, swinging the door open slowly. The brunet slipped in, grateful of Aya's good humor at that moment. He took a seat on the chair by Aya's dressing table by the window, swinging his legs to and fro. The redhead looked at him. "Yes, what is it?"

"It's about Yohji-kun…" Omi looked down, blushing.

"I see," Aya lifted a brow. "And…?"

"You know… when I saw him when he… umm, fell?" Omi swallowed hard. "And also when I was sixteen, when Yohji-kun walked in on me… in my birthday suit, and said… I had a cute behind ---"

"He WHAT? SHI-NE!"

"Aya-kun, stop! Stop! I just want you to listen!" Omi begged as he caught hold of their raging leader's legs. "I'm not complaining about him! I'm just… curious!"

"Curious…?"

Omi looked away shyly. "Ken-kun's busy. I know, you're not the type to discuss this, but I… I thought… also, since Ken-kun likes you, I think you'd understand…"

"…Ken?"

"By both your meaningful glances, I thought you'd know…"

"Likes me…?"

"You mean… you didn't know?" Omi goggled at him, stunned. "I'm sorry!" he squealed as he saw Aya's face darken visibly.

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"Hmm, a dash of salt, some sauce…" Ken scanned through the page of the book, one hand holding a knife. "Some fresh green young onion shoot, chopped, for garnishing… Hey, that's easy!"

Ken was having a great time. Porridge was easy to make; you just dunked everything into some pressurized rice-cooker, set it to 'Porridge', and waited for it to cook on its own. And besides, he had a handy book to teach him to make Oriental Porridge, courtesy of some chicken-stock brand he had long forgotten the name of.

"Also, pickled lettuce for a side dish…" Ken's eyes grew round. "Pickles? Eww…"

But like it or not, Ken knew that books had to be followed, were you a novice. And Ken was far from a novice. He was a virgin in this area. "Where in the world can I get pickled – ugh – lettuce?"

Ken was in luck, though. Apparently, Aya had stocked a can of it, for some unknown reason. For that, Ken was grateful. Aya always was sunshine after rain. All that he did brought Ken benefit. Okay, so the others benefited too, but Ken especially, benefited most from the redhead's actions. Yes, Ken was lucky.

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"So, you see, Tsukiyono, that's what it's all about," Aya leaned back, relaxing a little as he spoke. Omi had listened intently; the redhead was a good speaker by nature. "Any questions?"

"…When will Yohji-kun be back?"

"I have no idea," Aya sighed. He'd guessed by now that there wasn't much to hope when Yohji was considered. That lanky playboy, all he loved was women and wine, song and dance. He'd prefer saying 'sex' to 'love'.

But… to say all those things to Omi? Aya couldn't do it, cold as he was. "Well, good luck, Tsukiyono."

"Thank you, Aya-kun!" Omi beamed, getting up. "I'm starving! And that smells good!"

"It's Kudou's turn to cook today, isn't it?" Aya wondered aloud. "If this carries on, we might just make him permanently do this chore as a daily necessity…"

"Really?" Omi's eyes sparkled. The idea of eating Yohji-kun's cooking everyday was wonderful by Omi's standards. It wouldn't matter if Yohji-kun didn't like him back, he could at least enjoy what the girls didn't! Aya half-smiled, a little wistful for Omi's sake, but he was glad that the boy was at least calm and happy about it all.

"Aa," Aya nodded as he rose, slowly. "Let's hurry down, Omi."

"Sugoi!" in his haste, the youth hadn't noticed that Aya had called him by his given name rather than his surname. The brunet scampered down happily, only to crash into Ken who was on the stairs as well. "Sorry, Ken-kun!"

"That's okay," Ken stood up absently, pulling the boy up after himself. "I was on the way up to get you guys anyway. Hey, Aya, dinner's ready!"

"…You cooked?"

"Um, yeah," Ken grinned and shrugged. Omi eyed him in awe. Yohji's cooking may have been a good start, but Ken cooking and not screwing up was a miracle! The youth squeezed his makeshift elder brother proudly.

"Ken-kun! You cooked! That's… better than sugoi!"

"Heh, thanks…"

"Well, shall we?" Aya led the way to the kitchen. He knew that those two would rather eat in front of the television than in the dining area as everyone else would.

The kitchen was bursting with a sweet smell, and for once, it was as clean as clean after the walking disaster, Hidaka Ken, was through with it. Usually Aya would keep an eye on him, but on that day, everything was peachy. The counter was sparkling, the kitchen top was gleaming in the fluorescent light, the aprons were washed and hung up in a row, the towels were drying by the sink and most of all, there weren't any signs of a fire starting or put out anywhere.

Ken scooped a big dollop for each of them, settling down. "So… what do you think?"

"Oishii!"

Ken grinned, and then he turned expectantly to Aya.

"…Just wonderful," the redhead murmured, helping himself to some pickles. "With pickles as well… I thought you didn't like pickles."

"…You noticed?" Ken gaped.

"Yes…" Aya blushed, looking down. "Um, well…"

"Thanks, that's nice of you," Ken laughed, Omi following up.

"I'm hoooooome!"

There was a bang outside, the door slamming shut as Yohji stalked in. "Miss me?"

"Lots!" Omi chirped. Yohji grinned back, and he waved at the others.

"Yeah, I missed you too, y'know! Mmm, that smells good…"

Outside, the wind circled round the homes in the city, signaling the last of fall. With this wind would come the cold bittersweet taste of winter, but to the members of Weiß, this was just another small matter. The most important thing to them was to stop the dark beasts of society, and to remain the family they were.

It all went hand in hand, like pickles in a bowl of porridge.

~*~*~ End ~*~*~

Note: Ohh, it's the end now! I hope that was fine! I did it with the block so the flow wasn't too good… but I managed to remain hyper, listening to Love Stuff is ebbil! Smock you, Chris! I'm NOT a human Shuichi! *Whacks Chris' head with pocky box* Sorry I neglected my mails… ;_; I love yoo, I'll go home someday!

To the rest, thanks for reading! Heh heh! XD