Akane the Suicidal
Ranma rubbed the still-bruised side of his face, still awaiting another frozen steak, as he glared at the offending Tendou trio. "I hate you all, I crave death for your fates," the pigtailed boy seethed, before blinking at the plate Kasumi set before him, "ALRIGHT! Grilled pike for breakfast, my fave!" He blinked again, and glared at Kasumi, "I wish a pox upon you and your family."
"Boy, I've noticed you've started becoming more pessemistic and violent since we've arrived," Genma interjected, "I think a training trip in the near future will straighten that negative and whiny attitude of yours out." Ranma casually slammed his father's head through a nearby wall.
"I'm feeling less negative already."
"Oh, stop it, Ranma" Akane chided, bringing him his third frozen steak for the morning, "They've already apologised for their behavior last night!" Akane looked over, just missing the way Soun and Nabiki's expressions changed from returning Ranma's glare of malice to deeply chided and apologetic, "See?"
Ranma gave Akane a half-lidded stare, "They only did so, so I wouldn't kill them in their sleep. I'm very likely to do that, given my recent experiences."
"Ah..." Akane said, a bit nervous for her family, before perking up, "you're still sleeping in my room, right?"
Ranma continued his flat, emotionless stare towards the youngest Tendou, "I won't give you the satisfaction."
"You make it sound so perverted," Akane joked, her chuckles quickly dying when she realised no one else was laughing.
Ranma picked up his chopsticks to dig in. He paused, noticing something, "Hey, why aren't you guys eating the same thing?"
Kasumi cleared her throat, before answering, "Well, I wanted to apologise for the rather... excitable way I acted last night." Ranma could positively feel the 'sincerity' in her apology.
"Riiiiiiight," Ranma drawled, before picking up his plate, and passing it to Kasumi, "Looks delicious, wanna try first bite?"
"Oh no, I couldn't!" Kasumi urged, suddenly nervously wringing her hair over her shoulder.
"Oh, I don't mind! I mean, let bygones be bygones, right?" Ranma insisted, thrusting the plate towards her again.
"It just wouldn't be good... er... right!" the eldest daughter replied, starting to visibly perspire.
"Thought as much," Ranma stated in a dry, unamused tone, "Hey, Pops, want it?"
"NO!" Kasumi, Nabiki, and Soun screamed in unison.
"Shouldn't that be my decision?" Genma asked with an irritated tone.
Kasumi recovered quickly, "I... I mean, I made it especially for you, Ranma!"
"I'm suddenly not very hungry," Ranma retorted in a suspicious tone.
"I'll take it," Akane offered.
"No, you won't," Ranma, Nabiki, Soun, and Kasumi replied in a tone that brooked no argument.
"Is something wrong with it?" Akane asked, oblivious to the situation going on around her.
"I'll pick up something while I'm out today," Ranma stated, pushing his plate to the side. Kasumi snapped her fingers in irritation, though, in hindsight, she didn't really care to have to clean up Ranma's vomit all day, if he chose to stay around the house.
Ranma looked up from the current banes of his existance, as there was a knock at the door. "Hello? I apologise for letting myself in," a matronly, motherly voice stated from the front hall.
Ranma calmly picked up Nabiki's bowl of miso soup, and started to sip from it, ignoring the middle daughters infuriated and indignant expression, "She's a day late."
"Who's a day late, boy?" Genma enquired, "You invited guests without the Tendou's perm-"
"Genma, is that you, husband?"
Ranma was never aware his father was capable of screaming so loud, and in such a high pitch.
"Oh! That's certainly my husband," the woman stated with an exasperated tone.
"Hello, Mrs. Saotome!" Akane chirped, "We're in the dining area just down the hall to your right."
Thinking fast, Genma grabbed a glass of water from the table, and threw it in Ranma's face. "She knows about my curse," Ranma said in factual tone. Genma baulked, and then picked up Ranma's glass of water, and splashed himself. "She knows about your's, too," Ranma did her best to hide the smile of vindication attempting to cross her face.
Nodoka entered the room, and looked directly at the panda that was staring back at her in horror, "Genma-chan, I recognize those beady eyes, anywhere."
"GWROR GWUA RRRWAR RRR!!!"
"Idiot," both Ranma and Nodoka stated in unison, before Kasumi upended a kettle onto his head.
"Welcome to our home, Mrs. Saotome!"
"Thank you, Kasumi-chan, I believe? It's been so long!"
"I'm ashamed to say I don't remember you, were you close to our family?" Kasumi enquired.
"Well, she never came by often enough by me and your dear departed mother's preference," Soun answered, ready to break out into tears.
"Oh, and once again, I must give my condolences for your loss so long ago," Nodoka stated sympathetically.
"Guys, we gotta panda to mutilate and skin," Ranma reminded. While holding her father by his gi to keep him from escaping.
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT! THE BOY GOT CARELESS!!!" Genma wailed, attempting to save his own neck.
"Gee, wouldn't carelessness be something of a mark against my manliness, Pop?" Ranma-chan enquired in a sinister but gleeful tone.
Genma stopped struggling, and turned to stare at his son... daughter, "Are you that ready to die, boy?" Ranma looked over her shoulder to Akane, who smiled back at her. Genma's eyes went wide, and he reinforced his attempts to escape Ranma's grasp.
"Oh, Ranma, must you be so bloodthirsty?" Nodoka asked, finding a seat at the table.
"Would you like something to eat?" Kasumi offered, trying to be a polite hostess.
"Oh, don't go out of your way on my account," Nodoka replied, before spying what was in front of her son turned daughter, "Ranma, if you're going to let those go to waste, I'll-"
"NO!" Ranma, Kasumi, Soun, and Nabiki shouted in unison.
"Really, is there something wrong with that fish?" Akane asked for the second time.
"I was very much in the mood to see blood," Ranma-chan grumbled, finally relenquishing her hold on her father, "Put the chopsticks down, Akane." Ranma didn't even turn to look at the girl in question.
"You're a pretty fickle person, you know that, Ranma?" Akane groused, putting Ranma's chopsticks back on the table from where she had them positioned to stab herself in the eye.
"I'm not interested in seeing your blood," Ranma replied in an exasperated tone.
"Why not?" Akane asked in an irritated voice, "My blood is just as red as anybody else's!"
"And I've seen enough of it, thank you very much," Ranma stated, "I need variety." Akane humphed, but relented.
"Oh!" Nodoka perked, reaching into her obi, and pulling out an envelope, "By the way, a strange young man asking me for directions to here asked me to give you this."
Ranma took the letter from her mother, and opened it, "Hmm? It's from Ryoga, he wants to challenge me in a duel."
"A duel?" Nodoka enquired, before beaming, "How manly!"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is," Ranma drawled, "But I'm not going."
Everyone silently stared at Ranma for several moments.
"BOY! YOU CANNOT REFUSE A DUEL!" Genma bellowed, coming to standing, and almost tipping over the table.
"He is correct!" Soun added, "One of the prime rules of the school is that no challenge could be refused!"
"I never said I refused the challenge," Ranma replied with an oblivous tone.
"Huh?" Came Soun and Genma's unified reply.
"Someone's gonna take it for me," Ranma stated, folding the letter away.
Akane stood, and bowed before Ranma, "I would be honored to-"
"Not you," Ranma interrupted, "Pop."
"Ah..." Genma began to sweat, "But I..."
"You *will* be there for the duel in my place," Ranma commanded, giving her father a steely eyed glare that reminded Genma too much of his wife.
"That sounds like a wonderful idea!" Nodoka stated, "If you're going to be free that way, we can spend the time to get reaquainted again!"
"Well, the challenge letter was stated for two days," Ranma offered, "So sometime in a week. How does next Saturday sound?"
"BOY! It is a matter of honor that you take this duel!" Genma proclaimed, attempting to regain his authority, as if he had it to begin with.
"Sorry!" Ranma replied in a saccharine-sweet voice, before giving Akane a shifting glance, "I already have enough headaches over honor at the moment." Ranma didn't see Akane flinch at the statement.
"Then it's settled!" Nodoka stated, ending the discussion, "My Husband shall battle this Ryoga Hibiki to the death for the honor of the school, while me, Ranma, and Akane go shopping!"
Genma paled, and passed out, while Ranma baulked. "Shopping?" Ranma asked with an incredulous tone.
"Great! I love shopping!" Akane exclaimed, excitedly.
"Well," Nodoka started to grip her wrapped sword nervously, "You recall about me mentioning that I wouldn't mind you wearing a bra... in your female form, I mean..."
Ranma groaned, and put her head into her hands, while wondering exactly what she did that royally ticked off whatever deity that 'blessed' her with her current existance.
__________________
A week later, Ryoga stood on one side of the soccer field in a massive ring of spectators, glaring at the person standing before him with extreme irritation.
"Ah..." Genma stated, nervously, "Mind if we call this a draw, son?"
Ryoga quickly unsheathed his umbrella, while growling, "Take me to Ranma... NOW!"
Ranma rubbed the still-bruised side of his face, still awaiting another frozen steak, as he glared at the offending Tendou trio. "I hate you all, I crave death for your fates," the pigtailed boy seethed, before blinking at the plate Kasumi set before him, "ALRIGHT! Grilled pike for breakfast, my fave!" He blinked again, and glared at Kasumi, "I wish a pox upon you and your family."
"Boy, I've noticed you've started becoming more pessemistic and violent since we've arrived," Genma interjected, "I think a training trip in the near future will straighten that negative and whiny attitude of yours out." Ranma casually slammed his father's head through a nearby wall.
"I'm feeling less negative already."
"Oh, stop it, Ranma" Akane chided, bringing him his third frozen steak for the morning, "They've already apologised for their behavior last night!" Akane looked over, just missing the way Soun and Nabiki's expressions changed from returning Ranma's glare of malice to deeply chided and apologetic, "See?"
Ranma gave Akane a half-lidded stare, "They only did so, so I wouldn't kill them in their sleep. I'm very likely to do that, given my recent experiences."
"Ah..." Akane said, a bit nervous for her family, before perking up, "you're still sleeping in my room, right?"
Ranma continued his flat, emotionless stare towards the youngest Tendou, "I won't give you the satisfaction."
"You make it sound so perverted," Akane joked, her chuckles quickly dying when she realised no one else was laughing.
Ranma picked up his chopsticks to dig in. He paused, noticing something, "Hey, why aren't you guys eating the same thing?"
Kasumi cleared her throat, before answering, "Well, I wanted to apologise for the rather... excitable way I acted last night." Ranma could positively feel the 'sincerity' in her apology.
"Riiiiiiight," Ranma drawled, before picking up his plate, and passing it to Kasumi, "Looks delicious, wanna try first bite?"
"Oh no, I couldn't!" Kasumi urged, suddenly nervously wringing her hair over her shoulder.
"Oh, I don't mind! I mean, let bygones be bygones, right?" Ranma insisted, thrusting the plate towards her again.
"It just wouldn't be good... er... right!" the eldest daughter replied, starting to visibly perspire.
"Thought as much," Ranma stated in a dry, unamused tone, "Hey, Pops, want it?"
"NO!" Kasumi, Nabiki, and Soun screamed in unison.
"Shouldn't that be my decision?" Genma asked with an irritated tone.
Kasumi recovered quickly, "I... I mean, I made it especially for you, Ranma!"
"I'm suddenly not very hungry," Ranma retorted in a suspicious tone.
"I'll take it," Akane offered.
"No, you won't," Ranma, Nabiki, Soun, and Kasumi replied in a tone that brooked no argument.
"Is something wrong with it?" Akane asked, oblivious to the situation going on around her.
"I'll pick up something while I'm out today," Ranma stated, pushing his plate to the side. Kasumi snapped her fingers in irritation, though, in hindsight, she didn't really care to have to clean up Ranma's vomit all day, if he chose to stay around the house.
Ranma looked up from the current banes of his existance, as there was a knock at the door. "Hello? I apologise for letting myself in," a matronly, motherly voice stated from the front hall.
Ranma calmly picked up Nabiki's bowl of miso soup, and started to sip from it, ignoring the middle daughters infuriated and indignant expression, "She's a day late."
"Who's a day late, boy?" Genma enquired, "You invited guests without the Tendou's perm-"
"Genma, is that you, husband?"
Ranma was never aware his father was capable of screaming so loud, and in such a high pitch.
"Oh! That's certainly my husband," the woman stated with an exasperated tone.
"Hello, Mrs. Saotome!" Akane chirped, "We're in the dining area just down the hall to your right."
Thinking fast, Genma grabbed a glass of water from the table, and threw it in Ranma's face. "She knows about my curse," Ranma said in factual tone. Genma baulked, and then picked up Ranma's glass of water, and splashed himself. "She knows about your's, too," Ranma did her best to hide the smile of vindication attempting to cross her face.
Nodoka entered the room, and looked directly at the panda that was staring back at her in horror, "Genma-chan, I recognize those beady eyes, anywhere."
"GWROR GWUA RRRWAR RRR!!!"
"Idiot," both Ranma and Nodoka stated in unison, before Kasumi upended a kettle onto his head.
"Welcome to our home, Mrs. Saotome!"
"Thank you, Kasumi-chan, I believe? It's been so long!"
"I'm ashamed to say I don't remember you, were you close to our family?" Kasumi enquired.
"Well, she never came by often enough by me and your dear departed mother's preference," Soun answered, ready to break out into tears.
"Oh, and once again, I must give my condolences for your loss so long ago," Nodoka stated sympathetically.
"Guys, we gotta panda to mutilate and skin," Ranma reminded. While holding her father by his gi to keep him from escaping.
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT! THE BOY GOT CARELESS!!!" Genma wailed, attempting to save his own neck.
"Gee, wouldn't carelessness be something of a mark against my manliness, Pop?" Ranma-chan enquired in a sinister but gleeful tone.
Genma stopped struggling, and turned to stare at his son... daughter, "Are you that ready to die, boy?" Ranma looked over her shoulder to Akane, who smiled back at her. Genma's eyes went wide, and he reinforced his attempts to escape Ranma's grasp.
"Oh, Ranma, must you be so bloodthirsty?" Nodoka asked, finding a seat at the table.
"Would you like something to eat?" Kasumi offered, trying to be a polite hostess.
"Oh, don't go out of your way on my account," Nodoka replied, before spying what was in front of her son turned daughter, "Ranma, if you're going to let those go to waste, I'll-"
"NO!" Ranma, Kasumi, Soun, and Nabiki shouted in unison.
"Really, is there something wrong with that fish?" Akane asked for the second time.
"I was very much in the mood to see blood," Ranma-chan grumbled, finally relenquishing her hold on her father, "Put the chopsticks down, Akane." Ranma didn't even turn to look at the girl in question.
"You're a pretty fickle person, you know that, Ranma?" Akane groused, putting Ranma's chopsticks back on the table from where she had them positioned to stab herself in the eye.
"I'm not interested in seeing your blood," Ranma replied in an exasperated tone.
"Why not?" Akane asked in an irritated voice, "My blood is just as red as anybody else's!"
"And I've seen enough of it, thank you very much," Ranma stated, "I need variety." Akane humphed, but relented.
"Oh!" Nodoka perked, reaching into her obi, and pulling out an envelope, "By the way, a strange young man asking me for directions to here asked me to give you this."
Ranma took the letter from her mother, and opened it, "Hmm? It's from Ryoga, he wants to challenge me in a duel."
"A duel?" Nodoka enquired, before beaming, "How manly!"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is," Ranma drawled, "But I'm not going."
Everyone silently stared at Ranma for several moments.
"BOY! YOU CANNOT REFUSE A DUEL!" Genma bellowed, coming to standing, and almost tipping over the table.
"He is correct!" Soun added, "One of the prime rules of the school is that no challenge could be refused!"
"I never said I refused the challenge," Ranma replied with an oblivous tone.
"Huh?" Came Soun and Genma's unified reply.
"Someone's gonna take it for me," Ranma stated, folding the letter away.
Akane stood, and bowed before Ranma, "I would be honored to-"
"Not you," Ranma interrupted, "Pop."
"Ah..." Genma began to sweat, "But I..."
"You *will* be there for the duel in my place," Ranma commanded, giving her father a steely eyed glare that reminded Genma too much of his wife.
"That sounds like a wonderful idea!" Nodoka stated, "If you're going to be free that way, we can spend the time to get reaquainted again!"
"Well, the challenge letter was stated for two days," Ranma offered, "So sometime in a week. How does next Saturday sound?"
"BOY! It is a matter of honor that you take this duel!" Genma proclaimed, attempting to regain his authority, as if he had it to begin with.
"Sorry!" Ranma replied in a saccharine-sweet voice, before giving Akane a shifting glance, "I already have enough headaches over honor at the moment." Ranma didn't see Akane flinch at the statement.
"Then it's settled!" Nodoka stated, ending the discussion, "My Husband shall battle this Ryoga Hibiki to the death for the honor of the school, while me, Ranma, and Akane go shopping!"
Genma paled, and passed out, while Ranma baulked. "Shopping?" Ranma asked with an incredulous tone.
"Great! I love shopping!" Akane exclaimed, excitedly.
"Well," Nodoka started to grip her wrapped sword nervously, "You recall about me mentioning that I wouldn't mind you wearing a bra... in your female form, I mean..."
Ranma groaned, and put her head into her hands, while wondering exactly what she did that royally ticked off whatever deity that 'blessed' her with her current existance.
__________________
A week later, Ryoga stood on one side of the soccer field in a massive ring of spectators, glaring at the person standing before him with extreme irritation.
"Ah..." Genma stated, nervously, "Mind if we call this a draw, son?"
Ryoga quickly unsheathed his umbrella, while growling, "Take me to Ranma... NOW!"