"Bored..." Ranma drolled, flopping his torso onto the tearoom table. He wasn't going to say it out loud, but since Shampoo left, things had been way too quiet. The peace they were suffering from was almost a curse in itself, as thing set into routine.
"Hey, Akane..."
The raven-haired girl looked towards her bodyguard with a lethergic expression, still twirling her finger towards the air at almost eye level "Ranma?"
"You get the feeling things are too quiet lately?"
"I'd enjoy it while it lasts," Akane replied, twirling her finger closer to her face, allowing the razor-sharp scissors to spin closer to her neck. Akane's head perked up at an idea, incidentally presenting her esophagus to open incident, "You can always take me out for icecream again!"
"No money," Ranma replied tiredly, unconciously calculating the seconds left before he would have to snatch the scissors from Akane, not that he was in a rush.
"Oh," Akane tilted her head in contemplation, leaving her right jugular unprotected. "Well, I have some money, how about I take you ou-"
::THWANG!!!::
"Hmm," Ranma started, with his head still tilted to the side, "Weren't those a brand new pair of scissors?"
"Oh!" Akane exclaimed, staring at the plastic scissor handle, and then to the rest of the scissors imbedded in the wall, after passing through where Ranma's head had been just a nanosecond before, "Those could have hurt someone!"
"Eh," Ranma replied, glad he didn't have to move to take the sharp objects from Akane. Today, he just wasn't feeling as energetic as he usually did.
"Now that you mention it," Akane mused, looking back to the plastic ring around her finger, "Nabiki did just buy these afterschool, yesterday." her face scrunched up in contemplation, "Maybe it's an omen..."
"Nabiki's gonna kill you for ruining her new scissors," Ranma commented idly. You know how she gets when-"
GETITOFFGETITOFFKAMIITWON'TGETOFFSOMEBODYHELPMEWHYWON'TITCOMEOF?!?!?"
Akane and Ranma blinked, as they watched Nabiki suddenly burst into the tearoom, slam face first into a couple of walls, start pounding her chest with her fists frantically, throw herself onto the ground, and crawl on her stomach and chest like a dog with a miserable and incessant itch. After that, she suddenly picked up the teatable, and started pounding her front with it desperately, before racing into the kitchen. Akane and Ranma noted that the middle Tendou sister was currently rummaging through the knife drawer, from the sounds of the rustling going on.
"Hmm," Ranma shrugged, and went back to being lethergic.
_______________________
Akane the Suicidal
Ch 19
______________________
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Neither Akane or Ranma bothered to look up, as Kasumi came racing into the room, holding a kettle of water she was about to put on the stove.
"Your sister's are acting weird again," Ranma commented idly, ignoring Kasumi as she bellyflopped onto the ground, picked herself back up, and then bellyflopped onto the ground again.
"Just ignore them," Akane nearly growled, irritated at the way Ranma said '*your* sisters'; she couldn't help it if her family were a bunch of freaks. They both lazily looked up, as they watched Kasumi's swan dife from the roof, onto her chest, before she got up, ran to one of the trees in the yard, and started scraping her chest against it.
"You know?" Ranma began, "I can't help but find amusement in this..."
"It's not funny, Ranma," Akane said, before groaning. She pointedly turned away, as Kasumi retrived the family halberd from the dojo, and started beating her chest and backside with it.
"You have to admit, with all that panicked activity, it's pretty impressive she hadn't managed to spill a drop from that-"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
::Splash::
"Kettle..." Ranma finished, lamely, "I guess I shoulda saw that coming." With a sigh, Ranma rested her head on her hand, proped up on her elbow. Her meloncholy wasn't even disturbed by Kasumi running behind her, attempting to flatten out at her chest with a hot iron.
"Well," Akane observed, "This is the first time the whole day you've been..."
Ranma looked up at Akane after her voice trailed off, and saw her eyes going large and round in shock, as she stared at her bodyguard/fiance. Ranma then noted where she was staring at.
"Hmph, not only is she a psycho-chick, she's a perv-" Ranma looked down at herself, finally noticing a certain... discomfort on her chest.
"HOTCHA! MUST BE JELLO BECAUSE PUDDING DON'T JIGGLE LIKE THAT! So nice, so firm..." exclaimed said discomfort, as it remained firm-fast to Ranma-chan's chest.
As tender as a mother with her child, Ranma gently pried the creature from her person, and with affectionate calm, she switched her grasp from its waist to its neck. Finally, with a warm smile and quiet voice, Ranma said, "Embrace death."
"GRANDFATHER HAPPOSAI!!!" Akane exclaimed, leaping to her feet, and snatching the gagging old man in Ranma's hands.
"Hey! Give it back!" Ranma shouted.
"Ranma," Akane began to admonish, while cradling the teary-eyed pervert in her arms like an infant, "Show some respect to the Grandmaster of our schools!"
"What are you talk'n about?" Ranma asked, before noting for the first time that the creature in Akane's cradle was humanoid, "Who you say it was, again?"
"Grandmaster Happosai!" Akane proclaimed excitedly, holding the ancient martial artist out at arms length in front of Ranma facing the redhead.
The letch puckered his lips, before making a smooching sound at Ranma, "Hey ya, cutie, how's it goin'?"
Ranma blinked, before raising her hand up to eyelength, and studying her nails. Nodding that they were sufficient enough, she made a sharp slash at Happosai.
"Heh, you're friend here's got spunk!" Happosai chortled, after Akane managed to pull him from Ranma's swipe before damage could be done, "Ya gonna introduce me?"
"Grandfather Happosai, this is Ranma, my fiance," Akane motioned almost giddily.
Ranma gave Akane a half-lidded stare, before looking down at two prominant lumps on her front, and then looking back to Akane. Akane caught her slip-up, and blushed.
Unfortunately, the blush was mis-interpreted by her master. "Oh-ho!" Happosai bellowed, staring between Akane and Ranma, "Oh, Akane-chan, how you do your old master proud!"
"It-it's not like that!" Akane attempted to argue. Her statement was undermined by blush she wore growing deeper.
"Eh, I know how it is, ya want me to keep this a secret, well ol' Happosai's full of unrevealed secrets!" the old man announced, leaping out of Akane's arms and onto the table.
"Happosai... Hey, you're that guy that freaks Nabiki, Kasumi, Pops, and Mr. Tendou out all the time when someone mentions your name!" Ranma stated.
"Eh? Your Pops..." Happosai's eyes narrowed, "Say, you're Genma's child, Ranma, huh? I thought he had a son!"
Before Ranma could retort in the fashion of severe physical trauma, Akane intervined, "Where've you been? Daddy and Nabiki said you met with a tragic accident!"
Happosai and Ranma's expressions softened at the sight of Akane nearly coming to tears from the memory. "Ah, don't fret about it, Akane-chan!" Happosai answered, sitting down in a lotus position, before taking a pipe from his gi, and lighting it, "It takes a lot more than them Frenchie firecrackers to keep ol' Happy down! HA! Now those Americans, boy do THEY know how to make a bomb!"
"Are you going to start teaching me and Ranma, now?" Akane asked with a hopeful tone, "Ranma's a martial artist, too!"
"Hmm thought as much," Happossai leaned towards Ranma, who stared impassively back at the old letch, "You're not half-bad, cutie. Only a handful of women have ever been able to pry themselves from my affection!" With motion Ranma barely noticed, Happosai leapt, "Let's make sure that wasn't some sort of fluke!"
As fast as Happosai was, Ranma managed to evade that much faster. Akane stared around the tearoom in surprise, as Ranma and Happosai darted around it in something a little less than blurs. "Wow, I never realized Ranma was that good!"
"You touch me again old man, and so help me, I'll make that nuclear explosion seem like a diaper rash!" Ranma warned, still frantically dodging the groping elder martial artist.
"Oh, how can you scorn a harmless old man? Now stand still, and let me cry into your bosom!"
Akane sighed in delight; Happosai, the Grandmaster of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, had returned. "Oh! I need to go tell Daddy and Mr. Saotome! They'll be so surprised!"
"Hey, Akane..."
The raven-haired girl looked towards her bodyguard with a lethergic expression, still twirling her finger towards the air at almost eye level "Ranma?"
"You get the feeling things are too quiet lately?"
"I'd enjoy it while it lasts," Akane replied, twirling her finger closer to her face, allowing the razor-sharp scissors to spin closer to her neck. Akane's head perked up at an idea, incidentally presenting her esophagus to open incident, "You can always take me out for icecream again!"
"No money," Ranma replied tiredly, unconciously calculating the seconds left before he would have to snatch the scissors from Akane, not that he was in a rush.
"Oh," Akane tilted her head in contemplation, leaving her right jugular unprotected. "Well, I have some money, how about I take you ou-"
::THWANG!!!::
"Hmm," Ranma started, with his head still tilted to the side, "Weren't those a brand new pair of scissors?"
"Oh!" Akane exclaimed, staring at the plastic scissor handle, and then to the rest of the scissors imbedded in the wall, after passing through where Ranma's head had been just a nanosecond before, "Those could have hurt someone!"
"Eh," Ranma replied, glad he didn't have to move to take the sharp objects from Akane. Today, he just wasn't feeling as energetic as he usually did.
"Now that you mention it," Akane mused, looking back to the plastic ring around her finger, "Nabiki did just buy these afterschool, yesterday." her face scrunched up in contemplation, "Maybe it's an omen..."
"Nabiki's gonna kill you for ruining her new scissors," Ranma commented idly. You know how she gets when-"
GETITOFFGETITOFFKAMIITWON'TGETOFFSOMEBODYHELPMEWHYWON'TITCOMEOF?!?!?"
Akane and Ranma blinked, as they watched Nabiki suddenly burst into the tearoom, slam face first into a couple of walls, start pounding her chest with her fists frantically, throw herself onto the ground, and crawl on her stomach and chest like a dog with a miserable and incessant itch. After that, she suddenly picked up the teatable, and started pounding her front with it desperately, before racing into the kitchen. Akane and Ranma noted that the middle Tendou sister was currently rummaging through the knife drawer, from the sounds of the rustling going on.
"Hmm," Ranma shrugged, and went back to being lethergic.
_______________________
Akane the Suicidal
Ch 19
______________________
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Neither Akane or Ranma bothered to look up, as Kasumi came racing into the room, holding a kettle of water she was about to put on the stove.
"Your sister's are acting weird again," Ranma commented idly, ignoring Kasumi as she bellyflopped onto the ground, picked herself back up, and then bellyflopped onto the ground again.
"Just ignore them," Akane nearly growled, irritated at the way Ranma said '*your* sisters'; she couldn't help it if her family were a bunch of freaks. They both lazily looked up, as they watched Kasumi's swan dife from the roof, onto her chest, before she got up, ran to one of the trees in the yard, and started scraping her chest against it.
"You know?" Ranma began, "I can't help but find amusement in this..."
"It's not funny, Ranma," Akane said, before groaning. She pointedly turned away, as Kasumi retrived the family halberd from the dojo, and started beating her chest and backside with it.
"You have to admit, with all that panicked activity, it's pretty impressive she hadn't managed to spill a drop from that-"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
::Splash::
"Kettle..." Ranma finished, lamely, "I guess I shoulda saw that coming." With a sigh, Ranma rested her head on her hand, proped up on her elbow. Her meloncholy wasn't even disturbed by Kasumi running behind her, attempting to flatten out at her chest with a hot iron.
"Well," Akane observed, "This is the first time the whole day you've been..."
Ranma looked up at Akane after her voice trailed off, and saw her eyes going large and round in shock, as she stared at her bodyguard/fiance. Ranma then noted where she was staring at.
"Hmph, not only is she a psycho-chick, she's a perv-" Ranma looked down at herself, finally noticing a certain... discomfort on her chest.
"HOTCHA! MUST BE JELLO BECAUSE PUDDING DON'T JIGGLE LIKE THAT! So nice, so firm..." exclaimed said discomfort, as it remained firm-fast to Ranma-chan's chest.
As tender as a mother with her child, Ranma gently pried the creature from her person, and with affectionate calm, she switched her grasp from its waist to its neck. Finally, with a warm smile and quiet voice, Ranma said, "Embrace death."
"GRANDFATHER HAPPOSAI!!!" Akane exclaimed, leaping to her feet, and snatching the gagging old man in Ranma's hands.
"Hey! Give it back!" Ranma shouted.
"Ranma," Akane began to admonish, while cradling the teary-eyed pervert in her arms like an infant, "Show some respect to the Grandmaster of our schools!"
"What are you talk'n about?" Ranma asked, before noting for the first time that the creature in Akane's cradle was humanoid, "Who you say it was, again?"
"Grandmaster Happosai!" Akane proclaimed excitedly, holding the ancient martial artist out at arms length in front of Ranma facing the redhead.
The letch puckered his lips, before making a smooching sound at Ranma, "Hey ya, cutie, how's it goin'?"
Ranma blinked, before raising her hand up to eyelength, and studying her nails. Nodding that they were sufficient enough, she made a sharp slash at Happosai.
"Heh, you're friend here's got spunk!" Happosai chortled, after Akane managed to pull him from Ranma's swipe before damage could be done, "Ya gonna introduce me?"
"Grandfather Happosai, this is Ranma, my fiance," Akane motioned almost giddily.
Ranma gave Akane a half-lidded stare, before looking down at two prominant lumps on her front, and then looking back to Akane. Akane caught her slip-up, and blushed.
Unfortunately, the blush was mis-interpreted by her master. "Oh-ho!" Happosai bellowed, staring between Akane and Ranma, "Oh, Akane-chan, how you do your old master proud!"
"It-it's not like that!" Akane attempted to argue. Her statement was undermined by blush she wore growing deeper.
"Eh, I know how it is, ya want me to keep this a secret, well ol' Happosai's full of unrevealed secrets!" the old man announced, leaping out of Akane's arms and onto the table.
"Happosai... Hey, you're that guy that freaks Nabiki, Kasumi, Pops, and Mr. Tendou out all the time when someone mentions your name!" Ranma stated.
"Eh? Your Pops..." Happosai's eyes narrowed, "Say, you're Genma's child, Ranma, huh? I thought he had a son!"
Before Ranma could retort in the fashion of severe physical trauma, Akane intervined, "Where've you been? Daddy and Nabiki said you met with a tragic accident!"
Happosai and Ranma's expressions softened at the sight of Akane nearly coming to tears from the memory. "Ah, don't fret about it, Akane-chan!" Happosai answered, sitting down in a lotus position, before taking a pipe from his gi, and lighting it, "It takes a lot more than them Frenchie firecrackers to keep ol' Happy down! HA! Now those Americans, boy do THEY know how to make a bomb!"
"Are you going to start teaching me and Ranma, now?" Akane asked with a hopeful tone, "Ranma's a martial artist, too!"
"Hmm thought as much," Happossai leaned towards Ranma, who stared impassively back at the old letch, "You're not half-bad, cutie. Only a handful of women have ever been able to pry themselves from my affection!" With motion Ranma barely noticed, Happosai leapt, "Let's make sure that wasn't some sort of fluke!"
As fast as Happosai was, Ranma managed to evade that much faster. Akane stared around the tearoom in surprise, as Ranma and Happosai darted around it in something a little less than blurs. "Wow, I never realized Ranma was that good!"
"You touch me again old man, and so help me, I'll make that nuclear explosion seem like a diaper rash!" Ranma warned, still frantically dodging the groping elder martial artist.
"Oh, how can you scorn a harmless old man? Now stand still, and let me cry into your bosom!"
Akane sighed in delight; Happosai, the Grandmaster of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, had returned. "Oh! I need to go tell Daddy and Mr. Saotome! They'll be so surprised!"