Akane the Suicidal
"STAND STILL SO YOU CAN DIE INCREDIBLY HORRIBLY!!!" Ranma-chan commanded, bounding from rooftop to rooftop in pursuit of the zig-zagging geriatric ball of perversion. The redhead pushed herself to the fullest of her abilities, every so often coming close enough to almost grasp her current object of ire. Much to her misfortune, the proclaimed grandmaster of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts proved easily nimble and just as evasive as Ranma was pursuitive. They both danced with skill beyond most practiced martial artists; one making sport of it all, while the other endeavored to make the other one deceased. As the chase went on between the two, Akane struggled to keep up with her newly returned master and her bodyguard; hoping she would be able to stop Ranma before he attempted something drastic, and got severely harmed for his efforts.
"Missed me, missed me!" Happosai exclaimed, as he twisted into the air and off the current rooftop to the ground below. Ranma quickly changed directions, dropping down in hopes of flattening the little pervert into street pizza. Happosai landed deftly on the display nail bed, and rebounded over a nearby stone wall. Ranma-chan didn't land as deftly, but from the way every nail on Bijan's nailbed warped away from her impact, her landing was just as impressive.
"GET BACK HERE!!"
Akane landed face first in her bellyflop, the wind knocked out of her and extremely dissappointed. "Ouch."
Ranma kept her focus on the demon ahead of her, while precariously dodging the streaming projectiles around her. One managed to head to her dead on, only to to have the redhead catch it absently, and then toss it in the direction it was heading.
"WAIT UP!!!" Akane shouted, landing in the yard. She stopped, noticing the lack of sharp flying things, and turned to the Nerima Archer's club celebrating one of their members getting the first bullseye of the day. "Oh, for crying out loud!"
Ranma started to slow down, as she was about to leap into the next yard, "Geez, that old geezer goes on forever!"
Just as she was about to give up...
"Don't dishearten, cutie! Happy hadn't forgotten about ya!"
"ACK!!!" With a double fisted blow, Ranma pounded the ancient pervert off her chest, and down into the yard below. Happosai laughed heartily, as he dropped to the ground below, and weaved through the growling and barking dogs; content that his gentle persuasions for Ranma to continue went acknowledged.
Ranma's vision was tinged with a quaint shade of blood red, as she endeavored not to let the sanctioned midget get away from her. One particularly vicious looking dog, the one with all the froth around its mouth and such, leapt at the redhead, lost to its own fury.
"Play dead," Ranma commanded, not even turning to the dog who met heavily with her fist. It twitched a couple of seconds, before completely passing out.
Akane landed in the yard, panting lightly, and turned to stare at the dogs now cowering in the corners of the yard.
"Hee hee! It's so nice to be able to get out and stretch my legs!" Happosai crowed, dodging just outside of each blast radius that came within his vicinity.
"I agree with ya, old man!" Ranma returned heatedly, "I'm gonna stretch your legs around your neck, and while I'm at it, I'm gonna tie your arms together, and I'm gonna take your head, bend you backwards, and shove it up your-"
Ranma caught the black spherical bomb that was being used in today's Xtreme Sports competition; Ballistics shotputt, and hurled it back in the direction it came from, "WATCH IT WITH THOSE THINGS!"
Akane lagged behind her master and her fiance, not paying attention to the charred and whimpering group of competition participants.
Rana landed in the middle of Furinkan High's schoolgrounds spying Happosai sitting in lotus position, smoking his pipe without concern. "Good," Ranma growled, tensing her hands like talons, "Now just keep still, that way I don't miss breaking all the REALLY painful points..."
"I have to admit," Happosai replied in a cool voice making him sound oblivious to the redhead's near blinding rage, "Genma did a good job with you, boy. I would almost be jealous, if not for the fact that he had a headstart training you over my time with Akane-chan."
Ranma froze, and blinked, before looking down at herself. Yup, still a girl. "How?"
"How did I know you were a guy?" Happosai finished for Ranma, "Not a difficult thing to note, during my age. Besides, I watched your Jusenkyo curse kick in."
"Oh," Ranma replied, nodding slightly at the answer, "DIE!"
"QUIT PICKING ON MASTER HAPPOSAI!!!" Akane bellowed, as she removed her elbow from the top of Ranma-chan's head.
"Ha! That's the ol' Akane I remember!" Happosai chortled, springing back to his feet, "I see you've been keeping up with your training." He walked over to Akane, and circled around her with a scrutenizing eye.
The youngest Tendou nervously stood, with her face flushed with nervousness, "Y-yes, Master Happosai, but I'm afraid I haven't been able to progress much."
Happosai held up a hand, as Ranma came back to her feet, "I understand, it's not like that worthless father of yours would be willing to *REALLY* train his precious baby girl, now would he?"
"Waitaminute..." Ranma interjected, "Now that I've met you, I can't see HOW ANYONE in their right mind would allow you to train ANYONE!!!"
"Ranma, show some respect!" Akane growled, angered by Ranma's audacious attitude to their master.
Happosai blew it off entirely; still giddy from the romp cross him and Akane's favorite training path, "Heh, now there's a story in itself. Why, I remember when lil' Akane-chan was first submitted as my diciple..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Please, Master..." Soun begged, now a completely broken man.
"We give up!" a fourteen year old Nabiki prostated herself at the old letches feet, right next to her sixteen year old sister.
"We... we just can't take it anymore," Kasumi choked out, "I just keep scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing, but I still feel so dirty!"
Akane felt three hands press into her back, moving her forward before Happosai, "HEY! I'M NOT GIVING UP TO THIS OLD FREAK!!!"
Her psychologically battered family scurried back from their youngest's classic and abrupt rage. "But Akane..." Kasumi began to plead, "If you love us... I mean *really* love us..."
"Take one for the home team, Akane!" Nabiki cheered with unfelt entheusiasm.
"We present my youngest, Akane Tendou, as your new heir!" Soun announced, earning a shocked look from the girl in question.
"NO WAY AM I AGREEING TO THIS!!!"
Happosai just examined Akane, before speaking, "Hmm, not giving me much to work with... but I guess beggers can't be choosers."
At the back-handed slight, Akane snapped her angry attention back to Happosai, "HEY! I can take any training you throw at me, you perverted little letch!" Behind her, Kasumi, Nabiki, and Soun gave silent prayers, as Akane's temper finally worked in their favor...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It took them awhile, but I finally accepted Akane-chan's gracious offer to be my student and heir," Happosai continued. "Her training was tough and ardious, and as I suspected, she didn't quite have what it took at the time to truly become the master of the art that was required of my deciple."
"And what was that?" Ranma interjected with a half-lidded stare, "a fixation on women's breasts? Geriatric horomones in overdrive?"
"Ranma, my boy, that first one's probably up for debate," Happosai mirthfully retorted, glancing over at Akane.
The raven-haired girl blustered, when the attention was back on her, "Master Happosai! How can you say such a thing!!!"
"Oh, relax, I'm only teasing you, Akane-chan! Can't your old master at least have that pleasure in life?"
"Sorry to sound rude and all," Ranma once again interrupted, "but can you get back to your story? I wanna hear the rest of it before I have to rend you limb from limb." Ranma had to admit, the old soon-to-be-deceased letch knew how to spin a tale!
The ancient martial arts master blinked, before leaning towards Akane, "Is he always this violent?"
Akane shrugged, "I think he just hasn't been getting enough sleep, lately."
"We're on a deathclock, here!" Ranma-chan reminded with her arms folded.
"You little punk! Just remember you're the one who interrupted me!" Happosai reminded, "Now, where was I? Oh yeah! Anyway before I was so rudely interrupted..." Happosai and Akane threw the redhead irritated glances.
Ranma took note of them, and threw her arms in the air, "Alright, alright! I'm sorry! Now can we get on with it so I can get back to destroying you?"
Happosai accepted the apology, "Anyway, Akane lacked that one certain thing, or rather, had that one certain thing that hindered her progress in the art."
"I know where this is leading!" Akane interjected, "The Couragious Heart's pressure point!" Happosai nodded, much to Akane's glee.
"The... what?" Ranma enquired.
"STAND STILL SO YOU CAN DIE INCREDIBLY HORRIBLY!!!" Ranma-chan commanded, bounding from rooftop to rooftop in pursuit of the zig-zagging geriatric ball of perversion. The redhead pushed herself to the fullest of her abilities, every so often coming close enough to almost grasp her current object of ire. Much to her misfortune, the proclaimed grandmaster of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts proved easily nimble and just as evasive as Ranma was pursuitive. They both danced with skill beyond most practiced martial artists; one making sport of it all, while the other endeavored to make the other one deceased. As the chase went on between the two, Akane struggled to keep up with her newly returned master and her bodyguard; hoping she would be able to stop Ranma before he attempted something drastic, and got severely harmed for his efforts.
"Missed me, missed me!" Happosai exclaimed, as he twisted into the air and off the current rooftop to the ground below. Ranma quickly changed directions, dropping down in hopes of flattening the little pervert into street pizza. Happosai landed deftly on the display nail bed, and rebounded over a nearby stone wall. Ranma-chan didn't land as deftly, but from the way every nail on Bijan's nailbed warped away from her impact, her landing was just as impressive.
"GET BACK HERE!!"
Akane landed face first in her bellyflop, the wind knocked out of her and extremely dissappointed. "Ouch."
Ranma kept her focus on the demon ahead of her, while precariously dodging the streaming projectiles around her. One managed to head to her dead on, only to to have the redhead catch it absently, and then toss it in the direction it was heading.
"WAIT UP!!!" Akane shouted, landing in the yard. She stopped, noticing the lack of sharp flying things, and turned to the Nerima Archer's club celebrating one of their members getting the first bullseye of the day. "Oh, for crying out loud!"
Ranma started to slow down, as she was about to leap into the next yard, "Geez, that old geezer goes on forever!"
Just as she was about to give up...
"Don't dishearten, cutie! Happy hadn't forgotten about ya!"
"ACK!!!" With a double fisted blow, Ranma pounded the ancient pervert off her chest, and down into the yard below. Happosai laughed heartily, as he dropped to the ground below, and weaved through the growling and barking dogs; content that his gentle persuasions for Ranma to continue went acknowledged.
Ranma's vision was tinged with a quaint shade of blood red, as she endeavored not to let the sanctioned midget get away from her. One particularly vicious looking dog, the one with all the froth around its mouth and such, leapt at the redhead, lost to its own fury.
"Play dead," Ranma commanded, not even turning to the dog who met heavily with her fist. It twitched a couple of seconds, before completely passing out.
Akane landed in the yard, panting lightly, and turned to stare at the dogs now cowering in the corners of the yard.
"Hee hee! It's so nice to be able to get out and stretch my legs!" Happosai crowed, dodging just outside of each blast radius that came within his vicinity.
"I agree with ya, old man!" Ranma returned heatedly, "I'm gonna stretch your legs around your neck, and while I'm at it, I'm gonna tie your arms together, and I'm gonna take your head, bend you backwards, and shove it up your-"
Ranma caught the black spherical bomb that was being used in today's Xtreme Sports competition; Ballistics shotputt, and hurled it back in the direction it came from, "WATCH IT WITH THOSE THINGS!"
Akane lagged behind her master and her fiance, not paying attention to the charred and whimpering group of competition participants.
Rana landed in the middle of Furinkan High's schoolgrounds spying Happosai sitting in lotus position, smoking his pipe without concern. "Good," Ranma growled, tensing her hands like talons, "Now just keep still, that way I don't miss breaking all the REALLY painful points..."
"I have to admit," Happosai replied in a cool voice making him sound oblivious to the redhead's near blinding rage, "Genma did a good job with you, boy. I would almost be jealous, if not for the fact that he had a headstart training you over my time with Akane-chan."
Ranma froze, and blinked, before looking down at herself. Yup, still a girl. "How?"
"How did I know you were a guy?" Happosai finished for Ranma, "Not a difficult thing to note, during my age. Besides, I watched your Jusenkyo curse kick in."
"Oh," Ranma replied, nodding slightly at the answer, "DIE!"
"QUIT PICKING ON MASTER HAPPOSAI!!!" Akane bellowed, as she removed her elbow from the top of Ranma-chan's head.
"Ha! That's the ol' Akane I remember!" Happosai chortled, springing back to his feet, "I see you've been keeping up with your training." He walked over to Akane, and circled around her with a scrutenizing eye.
The youngest Tendou nervously stood, with her face flushed with nervousness, "Y-yes, Master Happosai, but I'm afraid I haven't been able to progress much."
Happosai held up a hand, as Ranma came back to her feet, "I understand, it's not like that worthless father of yours would be willing to *REALLY* train his precious baby girl, now would he?"
"Waitaminute..." Ranma interjected, "Now that I've met you, I can't see HOW ANYONE in their right mind would allow you to train ANYONE!!!"
"Ranma, show some respect!" Akane growled, angered by Ranma's audacious attitude to their master.
Happosai blew it off entirely; still giddy from the romp cross him and Akane's favorite training path, "Heh, now there's a story in itself. Why, I remember when lil' Akane-chan was first submitted as my diciple..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Please, Master..." Soun begged, now a completely broken man.
"We give up!" a fourteen year old Nabiki prostated herself at the old letches feet, right next to her sixteen year old sister.
"We... we just can't take it anymore," Kasumi choked out, "I just keep scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing, but I still feel so dirty!"
Akane felt three hands press into her back, moving her forward before Happosai, "HEY! I'M NOT GIVING UP TO THIS OLD FREAK!!!"
Her psychologically battered family scurried back from their youngest's classic and abrupt rage. "But Akane..." Kasumi began to plead, "If you love us... I mean *really* love us..."
"Take one for the home team, Akane!" Nabiki cheered with unfelt entheusiasm.
"We present my youngest, Akane Tendou, as your new heir!" Soun announced, earning a shocked look from the girl in question.
"NO WAY AM I AGREEING TO THIS!!!"
Happosai just examined Akane, before speaking, "Hmm, not giving me much to work with... but I guess beggers can't be choosers."
At the back-handed slight, Akane snapped her angry attention back to Happosai, "HEY! I can take any training you throw at me, you perverted little letch!" Behind her, Kasumi, Nabiki, and Soun gave silent prayers, as Akane's temper finally worked in their favor...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It took them awhile, but I finally accepted Akane-chan's gracious offer to be my student and heir," Happosai continued. "Her training was tough and ardious, and as I suspected, she didn't quite have what it took at the time to truly become the master of the art that was required of my deciple."
"And what was that?" Ranma interjected with a half-lidded stare, "a fixation on women's breasts? Geriatric horomones in overdrive?"
"Ranma, my boy, that first one's probably up for debate," Happosai mirthfully retorted, glancing over at Akane.
The raven-haired girl blustered, when the attention was back on her, "Master Happosai! How can you say such a thing!!!"
"Oh, relax, I'm only teasing you, Akane-chan! Can't your old master at least have that pleasure in life?"
"Sorry to sound rude and all," Ranma once again interrupted, "but can you get back to your story? I wanna hear the rest of it before I have to rend you limb from limb." Ranma had to admit, the old soon-to-be-deceased letch knew how to spin a tale!
The ancient martial arts master blinked, before leaning towards Akane, "Is he always this violent?"
Akane shrugged, "I think he just hasn't been getting enough sleep, lately."
"We're on a deathclock, here!" Ranma-chan reminded with her arms folded.
"You little punk! Just remember you're the one who interrupted me!" Happosai reminded, "Now, where was I? Oh yeah! Anyway before I was so rudely interrupted..." Happosai and Akane threw the redhead irritated glances.
Ranma took note of them, and threw her arms in the air, "Alright, alright! I'm sorry! Now can we get on with it so I can get back to destroying you?"
Happosai accepted the apology, "Anyway, Akane lacked that one certain thing, or rather, had that one certain thing that hindered her progress in the art."
"I know where this is leading!" Akane interjected, "The Couragious Heart's pressure point!" Happosai nodded, much to Akane's glee.
"The... what?" Ranma enquired.