Your Song

Part 2

~ Todokanu Omoi ~

By: JC Maxwell-Yuy

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JC: And we're back!

Moonbay: Our mission remains the same: to multiply the Irvine x Van fanfics out there tenfold!

JC: Well, that would be nice. (and to own all those lovely yaoi doujinshi but…)

Thomas: We'll just take it one step at a time.

JC: Yup. Starting with disclaimer, I don't own Zoids and I never will. Wish I did though.

Van: Well? Am I going to get lucky or not?
JC: Hm… I think I'd rather have Irvine walk around naked rather than you since his …

Irvine: (covers JC's mouth) AHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahah… what a big mouth.

Van: What a man…

Fine: Well, see you on the battlefield… of… er… love!

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'Van…'

'No! Stop! Irvine!'

'What I did…'

'Please… no more! Let go!'

'… is unforgivable.'

'IRVINE!'

Irvine's eyes snapped open. He angrily narrowed his eyes at the bulge in his pants.

The reoccurring dream of that time… the time when he'd raped Van. The time he'd abused the person he loved the most. He silently cursed his bad temper for what seemed like the billionth time, realizing all to well that nothing he said, thought, or did would erase what he had done.

'I'll never touch him again. I don't deserve to.' The promise he'd made to himself. The dream sickened him, but every time he had it, it always left him horribly aroused.

Irvine shifted on the bed just in time to hide his erection from Van, who entered the room having finished his bath.

"Did I wake you up?" Van asked.

"Nope. I think I'll go use that tub now." Irvine slowly turned to get up, his 'problem' somewhat gone only to have it come back full force.

"Hold on a second though…" The GF lieutenant said nervously.

Irvine's jaw nearly dropped as his gaze fell on Van, who was clad in only a skimpy white towel riding dangerously low on the hips. Van's muscular upper body glistened with moisture from his bath, and his hair was undone and damp. He smelled nice too… like papaya and melon.

"What?" The older man muttered, slightly irritated and red-faced.

"I need to talk to you… about something." Van took a step forward towards the bed, the towel practically falling off, but it didn't.

"It's just that… well, we've known each other for a long time… and… we've had a lot of adventures together…"

'Van… what are you saying?'

"Well, everyone… you guys are like my family now. But you, Irvine…"

'I'm a sicko. I hurt you. How can you compare me to 'family'?'

"You're my most precious friend… I…"

'Please don't say it. Don't… '

"I… I love you!" Van blurted out. Without thinking, the boy threw himself at Irvine, burying his face in the man's chest.

"Van…" Irvine whispered, breathing in the younger boy's sweet scent.

'I don't deserve your love.'

"AAAHACK!!" Van shouted as Irvine roughly pushed him away.

"What's the big idea?" the teen protested as Irvine got off the bed and headed for the door.

Irvine took a deep breath… and said the four words that he'd hoped never to say.

"I don't love you. You couldn't be farther from what I feel for you."

"That's… that's a lie…" Horror crossed Van's face.

"It's not a lie Van. I don't and never will love you." Irvine said flatly. "Whatever led you to believe so… you were mistaken."

"…" Van remained silent. Irvine wished he could take back his words but once again, it was too late. The damage had been done. Twice, he had hurt his loved one… though this time, burning tears began to leak out of his eyes. Irvine left the room and shut the door behind him.

'I love you to Van… but I just can't… I just can't let myself be happy.'

To Be Continued…