The Ecchi Adventures of Reanna and Akio
Episode Ten: "I Don't Want to Live in a Pokémon World!"
Notes: You can find some pretty perverted Pokémon stories on the Internet. This story is nowhere near the most perverted. The thing is, if you look at several Pokémon, there is great promise for ecchiness. And I'm not just talking about Tentacruel. Well… you'll see.
Let me tell you what Lickitung looks like in case you don't know. It's a cute pink thing, about four feet tall with a big slimy tongue. That's about all you need to know.
I'll be calling all the characters by their English names. It's not as if I don't know and prefer the Japanese ones, but I think most people know the characters by their English names, so I'm doing this for the sake of clarity.
As always, TEAORAA is a LIME! For those who are more sensitive, I take care not to describe any sexual incidents in detail.
Here we go!
"Prepare for trouble!" the red-haired girl proclaimed.
"Make it double!" the purple-haired boy added.
"Oh, no…" Juri moaned. "Don't tell me we're…"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"We're in… the Pokémon world??!!" Touga groaned.
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Then… I can catch up on my Pokémon collecting…" Akio grinned.
"Jessie!"
"James!"
I blushed. "It's… it's… JAMES!!!"
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!" Jessie yelled.
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!" James called out.
"I'll surrender to you, James-sama!" I called out.
"Meowth! That's right!" Meowth hissed.
"Wow, a talking kitty! How cute!" Anshi said, scooping up Meowth.
"Hey, put me down, lady!" Meowth squawked. "Or I got a Fury Swipes attack with your name on it!"
Akio was sidling up to Jessie. "Hello there…"
"Ick! Get away from me!"
"James-sama!" I threw my arms around him. "James, looky looky!" I held up a coil of rope. "Here here!"
Akio made a very annoyed face. "You know, Ri-chan, you only have to ask and I would…"
"What's that for?" James asked.
"To tie me up with! You're evil right?"
"Uh… Ri-chan…" Akio said, clearing his throat.
James looked confused. "You… want me to tie you up and steal your Pokémon?"
"Yeah yeah!" I said. I could finally get rid of that Tentacruel. "I have a Tentacruel that you can have if you want!"
There was a flash of light that came from my pocket. "CRUEEELLL!!"
"H-how did it come out! I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO COME OUT!" I yelled.
"Uh oh, Reanna-sempai," Miki said. "It doesn't look happy! I think it remembers the promise you made it!"
"Oh… oh no…"
Akio grinned and patted James on the shoulder. "Ooh, it's about to get juicy! Settle in pal, and watch the action!"
"J-juicy?" James muttered.
"Muwahahahahaha… Here, James, have some popcorn!"
"I knew I couldn't count on you to help me out when I need it!" I screamed as I got picked up like a little rag doll. "Akio, HELP ME!"
Miki shook his head. "Shouldn't have broken your promise…"
"PUT ME DOWN!! I don't wanna have to go through this again…"
"Hey, I'm impressed!" Jessie said. "What do you call that attack? Can I have that thing?"
Akio shook his head. "Sorry, Jess. Ri-chan's very… attached to it… At the moment, in more ways than one." He looked over and shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth. "Hot action."
"YAAAAAAAHHHHHH… … oh, no no no…" A few drops of blood fell from my nose to the ground. "Oops…"
"Look!" a voice called. "It's Team Rocket!" Ash cried. "…Ewwwww…"
"Oh no!" said Misty.
"They're… they're… what ARE they doing?" Brock asked, sporting a heavy nosebleed.
"Ash!" I cried. "Get over here and get Pikachu to save me! Fry this thing QUICK!!"
"Ick…" Ash mumbled. "That's really gross…"
"I don't want a Tentacruel anymore…" Misty moaned.
"I do!" Brock grinned.
WHACK!
"Eww… I think I'm gonna be sick…" Ash groaned. "But first we have to take care of Team Rocket!"
"What about ME??!! How about you rescue me? That'd be nice! OW! OW! You tryin' to kill me or something?"
"Okay, Team Rocket! Time for a Pokémon battle!" Ash said.
"You're on, kid!" James replied. "Weezing, I choose you!"
"Lickitung!" Jessie said. "I choose you!"
"Licky! Lickitung!"
"Wow!" Akio said. "I really need one of those!"
"NO YOU DON'T!! H-help me…"
"Pikachu, I choose you!" Ash cried. "You're history, Team Rocket!"
"Weezing! Smog attack, now!"
"Lickitung! Lick attack!"
"Licky?" Lickitung murmured. It looked at Pikachu… then at… me… at Pikachu… at me… "Licky! Licky licky!"
My eyes went wide. "Oh… oh no…"
"Lickitung! What are you doing! Get that Pikachu!" Jessie screamed.
"Ick! Not that!" I shrieked. "No, not that!!… … … … … … …. oh no…"
"Licky!"
"Ew, that's sick…"
"Woohoo!" Akio cried. "Go, Lickitung!"
"SHUT UP!"
"Lickitung! Pay attention to me! Go get that Pikachu!"
"Aw, crap… … AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *&$#%^#&($*$ t^**46^&$($#%&#?:{^$^##%*&%*#%@&^&#!!!!!!!!!"
Akio smirked. "Yee-hah! Let's put this battle aside and…" He pulled out his camera. "Take pictures! Lots of pictures! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" SNAP! SNAP! CLICK! SNAP!
"I don't think I've ever been so humiliated…"
Akio looked disappointed. "You haven't? Not even the time that I…?"
"Pikachu! Use your Thunder attack on Lickitung, NOW!" Ash cried.
"Uh, Ash?" I said. "I think you've forgotten about me! I don't wanna be electrocuted!"
"Pika…" Sparks began to fly…
"No, WAIT!"
"CHUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!"
"YAAAAAHHHHHHH!! … That… … really hurts…"
Jessie, James and Lickitung were blasted into the sky… as usual… "LOOKS LIKE TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAIN…!" ** ding! **
"Ash, you dope!" Misty cried. "You knocked out the girl and Tentacruel, too!"
Jessie zipped over to me. "Can I have your Tentacruel?"
"It's all yours…" I moaned.
"You can have it," Akio said, "if you tell me where you got your Lickitung!"
"DON'T START COLLECTING ECCHI POKÉMON!" I screamed, gathering up my clothes. "I have enough to be afraid of as it is!"
"Let's get going, you guys," Misty said. "There's nothing but weirdos around here!" She started to drag Ash and Brock away.
"Thank goodness…" Ash groaned. "That was so sick…"
"Bye, Tenta-girl!" Brock called.
"Come on, we have enough problems of our own," Misty said.
"Problems?" Utena asked. "What kind of problems?"
"Well, if you must know, we have a Jigglypuff on our tail. It keeps singing us to sleep, and if it keeps that up, we'll never make it to Celadon for the Celadon Pokémon Tournament by tomorrow morning!" Misty said.
"Yeah, and by the time we get there, the sale on potions and Pokéballs will be over," Brock said.
"We can help!" Akio said. "When that Jigglypuff shows up, I'll just capture it!"
I was extremely skeptical. "Why are you so eager to help out, Akio?" I scowled, pulling on my shirt.
"Well," Akio said, looking slightly miffed. "Isn't it natural for one to want to help their fellow Pokémon trainers?"
"Yeah, Akio about that," Juri said. "When did you become a Pokémon trainer?"
"Never mind about that," Akio said, waving his hand. "Where's this Jigglypuff of yours?"
"I don't know…" Misty said, "But it always shows up when we least expect it and sings us to sleep."
"And you haven't tried to catch it?"
"It's impossible!" Brock said. "You can't catch a Pokémon if it sings you to sleep first…"
"That's true…" Utena said. "Well… we could use earplugs."
"Hmm… I know I have some in here somewhere…" Akio muttered, digging around in his pockets.
WHACK! "Stupid pervert!" I yelled.
"No, no, I mean it!" Akio whimpered. "Yeesh. Anyway, here they are." Akio held up quite a few pairs of earplugs.
"I'm not wearing anything that's been in YOUR pocket!" I said.
"What was that, Reanna?" Juri asked.
"Huh?" I looked over at Juri, who already wore a pair of earplugs.
"Everybody got earplugs who wants them?" Akio asked.
"Hai!" everyone called.
I crossed my arms.
"All right!" Brock said. "Let's test them! Jigglypuff! Oh, Jigglypuff! Where are you?"
"Puff! Jigglypuff!" Jigglypuff popped out of a bush, holding a microphone.
I put my fingers in my ears.
"Oh, no!" Akio grinned. "You didn't wear earplugs, now you gotta pay for it!"
Jigglypuff began singing. "Jigglypuff, Jigglypuff…"
Akio grabbed my hands and pulled them out of my ears.
"Hey! Cut that out!"
"Jigglyyyypuffff… Jigglypuff, Jigglypuff…"
"Akio, let me go!"
"Hahahahahaha!!"
"Jigglypuff, Jigglypuff… Jigglypuffffff…"
"You… stupid… … …"
THUMP!
"Reanna-sempai! Reanna-sempai, wake up!" Miki said.
"Uhhhh…" What happened?
"Ri-chan?" Akio asked. "Could you make that groaning sound again?"
"I WILL NOT!"
"Wow," Juri muttered. "She came out of that pretty quick…"
"Well… what happened?" I asked. "Did you catch the Jigglypuff?"
Touga shook his head. "It got away."
Akio smirked. "Will you wear the earplugs now?"
"No."
"Excuse me!" Misty said. "What are we going to do about the Jigglypuff now?"
"Split up and look for it," Akio immediately said. He put his arm around me. "I'll go with Ri-chan."
"LIKE HELL YOU WILL!"
"If you don't, I'll tell everyone everything that happened to you on that spaceship…"
"You wouldn't!!"
"Umm… I don't know what you're talking about, but that's a great idea!" Ash said. "We can each carry some Pokéballs in case we see it!"
"This isn't a good idea…" I muttered.
"I'll go with you, if that's all right…" Brock said to Juri.
"I don't think so."
Well, to put it shortly, there were only four Pokéballs between all of the trainers, so we decided to split up into three groups. Unfortunately, I went with Akio. Fortunately, Misty and Miki were with me. Touga, Saionji and Ash were in another group, the third group was made up of Utena, Anshi, Juri and Brock.
"Ladies and gentlemen…" Touga said solemnly. "We are about to embark on an epic quest. A quest to capture the notorious Jigglypuff."
"Shut up!" Saionji jeered.
"Each group has only one Pokéball. So use it sparingly."
"Touga no baka!"
"Enough!" Misty cried. "Are you weirdos going to help us or not?"
"Yeah, we have to get to Celadon…" Ash whined.
"Pikachu!"
"Akio, I don't trust you with that Pokéball. Give it here," I said.
"No, I know how to handle Pokéballs!" Akio insisted. "Just leave it to me!"
Soon, we were all split up into our groups, in search of Jigglypuff. I wasn't enthusiastic about traveling with Akio, but I wondered how the other groups were getting on…
**********
"Jigglypuff are green!" Saionji yelled.
"They're red!" Touga yelled back.
"Umm… Jigglypuff are pink…" Ash said.
"Just like I said! Pink!" Touga said, hitting Saionji on the head.
"Uh… are we going to look for Jigglypuff or not?" Ash asked.
"I think a Pokémon battle should settle this!!" Saionji said.
"I'm game!"
"Uh… guys?"
Touga and Saionji both took out Pokéballs.
"Charmander, go!"
"Bulbasaur, I choose you!!"
**********
"Miss… er, Prince Utena, what do Jigglypuff look like, anyway?" Anshi asked.
"Jigglypuff are puffs that are jiggly!" Utena answered.
"No they're not, they're puffs that dance a jig!" Juri argued.
"Mr. Brock, you know what Jigglypuff look like, don't you?" Anshi asked.
Brock, obviously too busy staring at the girls, was not paying attention. "Uh… huh? What was that?"
"JIGGLYPUFF! WHAT DO THEY LOOK LIKE??" Juri roared.
"Oh! They're round, pink and… soft… and…" Brock answered. "Heh… heh heh…"
"Ummm… are we talking about the same thing here?" Utena asked.
"Looks like we can't depend on Brock…" Juri muttered.
"So… now what?' Anshi asked.
"Puff!"
"What was that?" Juri asked. "Was that…"
"Jigglypuff!"
"That's Jigglypuff's voice! Where is it?" Utena said.
Suddenly, Jigglypuff jumped out of a nearby bush, holding its microphone at the ready.
"SHIMATTA! IT'S GOING TO SING!!" Brock yelled.
"~~Jigglypuff, Jigglypuff… Jigglypuff, Jigglypuff…~~"
**********
"So, do you people train Pokémon?" Misty asked.
"I happen to be an experienced Pokémon breeder!" Akio said. "I am the discoverer of the rare species known as Pikamarill!"
"What's a… Pikamarill!"
"A Pikamerill is a Pikachu/Marill hybrid. I happen to have two with me right now." Akio put two fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly, and Chi Chi and Cha Cha popped out of his pockets and perched on his shoulders.
"Chi Chi and Cha Cha aren't Pokémon!" I said. "They're psycho hentai monkeys from hell!"
"Please, Reanna-sempai!" Miki said. "Psycho hentai monkeys from HECK."
Chi Chi and Cha Cha started crying.
"Look what you did, Reanna!" Misty said. "You made them cry!"
"But you don't understand, they're-"
"You should apologize!" Misty said.
Akio smirked. "Come on, Reanna. Say you're sorry."
"Oh… okay. Chi Chi, Cha Cha, I'm sorry I called you psycho hentai monkeys from hell."
Chi Chi and Cha Cha looked overjoyed.
"Aww, they're so cute!" Misty said.
Akio looked to the pair of "Pikamarill" with a smile. "Why don't you two show Ri-chan how much you love her?"
"CHI!!"
"CHA!!"
"STAY AWAY FROM ME!!" I dodged out of the way and the two monkeys landed on the ground and proceeded to chase me over hill and dale, etc.
"You see," Akio explained to Misty. "I first bred a Pikachu and a Marill five years ago and got a Pikamarill. I called it "Chu Chu" and gave it to my sister Anshi… then I bred a couple more."
"Wow, that's amazing!" Misty said. "So… what are you working on now?"
Akio held his chin in his hand pedantically. "Actually, I'm thinking that a Tentatung might prove useful…"
"DON'T YOU DARE!!" I stopped running long enough to bash Akio over the head. Unfortunately, that left me vulnerable to my pursuers, and before I could get going again, Chi Chi and Cha Cha scampered into the legs of my pants. "Not again…"
"So, what else have you done?" Misty asked.
"Well, I managed to extract basic Pokémon DNA and combine it with my own DNA… I called the result 'Chibi Akio.'"
"That's… a little strange…" Misty muttered.
"You have no idea…" Miki muttered.
"Get out! Out! Out of my pants!" I cried, stomping up and down.
"Jigglypuff!"
"Look, there's Jigglypuff!" Misty cried, pointing. "Where's the Pokéball?"
"~~Jigglypuff, Jigglypuff… Jigglypuff, Jigglypuff…~~"
"Crap…"
THUD!
**********
"Charmander!" Touga yelled. "Use flamethrower attack!"
Charmander reared back and let loose a fiery flamethrower attack… at Saionji.
"Oh YEAH?!" a charred, blackened Saionji screamed. "Squirtle! Use bite attack!"
Squirtle jumped up and bit Touga on the rear. Saionji, still smoldering cackled evilly.
"Umm…" Ash muttered. "You're not supposed to be attacking each other…"
"Charmander, return!" Touga zapped Charmander back inside the Pokéball and took out another from his pocket. "Okay… Charizard, I choose you!"
The huge orange winged lizard popped out of the Pokéball, baring its claws and puffing steam from its nose.
"A… A CHARIZARD??!!!" Saionji screeched. "Okay, two can play at that game! Squirtle, return!" Saionji took out another Pokéball and called out, "Onix, GO!"
Out of the Pokéball came an enormous snake made of rocks, almost thirty feet long.
"AH- HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!" Saionji laughed.
"Your Pokémon is PATHETIC compared to mine! THE VICTORY SHALL BELONG TO ME! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" Touga cackled.
"Uhh… guys?"
**********
"Akio, wake up!" SLAP! "Akio, wake up!" SLAP! "Akio, wake up!" SLAP!
"OWWWW!!" Akio sat up and rubbed his cheek. "Ri-chan, you're a cruel woman…"
Miki and Misty gradually snapped out of their slumber.
"Reanna-sempai," Miki said, "when did you wake up?"
"I didn't," I said. "I never fell asleep."
"That's impossible!" Misty said. "If you could hear Jigglypuff's song, why didn't you fall asleep?"
"Actually…" I said, feeling embarrassed, "I hate to admit it, but I owe it all to Chi Chi and Cha Cha… when they were… er… going at me like they were… ahem… it would have been impossible for me to fall asleep."
"What happened to Jigglypuff?" Miki asked.
"Well, I was able to capture it, just before Chi Chi and Cha Cha fell asleep." I held up the Pokéball. "Our mission is accomplished!"
"And Chi Chi and Cha Cha?" Akio asked.
"Well…" I said. "I resisted the urge to get rid of them while they were sleeping, because that really would have been mean… as far as I know, they're still sleeping around here, somewhe—eep…"
"What is it?" Misty asked.
"I know where they are… and they just woke up…" **twitch twitch** "I'm going to… **twitch** hurt… **spasm** those little… **jerk** devils… **twitch** soooo badly…" I ran off to the relative privacy of behind a bush and began digging in my shirt and pants with evil, nasty thoughts running through my head.
"You little… buggers are… really fast… STAY STILL! QUIT MOVING AROUND! I'll get you…" It's not easy trying to catch two small animals with your bare hands, especially combined with my situation, and I was beginning to visibly and audibly show signs of that…
"How long do you think it will be until it hits?" Miki muttered, holding up his stopwatch.
"Oh…" Akio said. "The way they're going, I'd guess… fifteen seconds…"
"Gotta find 'em quick, gotta find 'em quick, gotta find 'em quick, gotta find 'em quick…"
"Five… four… three… two… one…"
"$$^#@#$!%$!%@^@&^@$$%*&*&%#!~@~$%^*^$*^&#(**)&@!!^!!!!!!@@@DTSG$fHS%^%@&JS%#&#&%#……… %&#GFSFS$BGVBS$^^@FSHFS%^!!!!!!!!!…"
"Right on schedule…" Miki muttered, clicking his stopwatch.
"… … … pant… gasp… pant… pant… gasp… gasp…"
Then, who should come along and see me panting and gasping… with my hands in my underclothes… than Brock, Juri, Utena and Anshi.
"Ummm… this looks bad, doesn't it?" I laughed nervously.
"Reanna-sempai!" Anshi scolded. "Shame on you!"
"And in a public place, no less…" Juri said, her arms crossed.
"I've misjudged you, Reanna…" Utena said.
"Does anybody have a tissue or something?" Brock asked.
"But I… wasn't me… um… I didn't do it…"
Chi Chi and Cha Cha popped out and perched on my shoulders.
"SEE?!" I yelled.
"Oh, don't you see, Reanna-sempai?" Anshi said. "They're just showing how much they love you!"
"Why does that fail to excite me?" I muttered.
"At any rate," Juri said. "We did find Jigglypuff, but it put us to sleep before we could react…"
"That's okay!" Misty said. "Reanna caught it!"
"All right!" Brock said. "Now we can go to Celadon without being interrupted! … Um… where are Ash and those other two guys?"
"We're right here," Ash said, walking up to us, followed by Touga and Saionji. Touga and Saionji's uniforms were torn or charred or dripping wet or one or all of the above.
"What happened to you?" Miki asked.
"These two decided to have a Pokémon battle instead…" Ash muttered.
"Which I won!" Touga announced.
"You're insane! I won!" Saionji said.
"I won!"
"I won!"
"I won!"
"No, I won!"
"Listen!" Brock said. "If you guys wanna settle this quick, you can come to Celadon and face off in an official match at the tournament tomorrow!"
"A perfect idea!" Touga said. "I can show everyone my superiority to you!"
"And I can show everyone how effortlessly I can whip your butt!"
"Don't we have to get home?" Anshi asked.
"We don't know how," I pointed out. "I think that until we find away to get back to our own world, we may as well enjoy our time here."
Akio shrugged. "Well… it's a plan… Everybody keep their eyes out for a Lickitung, okay?"
**facefault**
TO BE CONTINUED…
Preview of the next:
The upcoming tournament isn't the only excitement!
Who will win the "duel?"
What is it that I feel so compelled to show Brock?
And will my plan to dispose of Chi Chi and Cha Cha come to fruition?
All these questions, and some questions you never wanted to
know the answers to will be answered in:
The Ecchi Adventures of Reanna and Akio, episode eleven:
"Foolproof! Ambition has a subtle foe!"
"Gotta find 'em quick, gotta find 'em quick, gotta find 'em quick, gotta find 'em quick…"
(note: I'll probably be using this phrase whenever I'm looking for something from now on…)