A/N: This is my take on what turned meek little Peter Pettigrew into a cold-blooded killer. This is short, but it's just the prologue. The theme song is "Have You Ever", by Brandy Norwood.
Pairings: Sort Peter/Remus, but nothing ever develops. Remus is straight, so it's pretty one-sided. And of course, Lily and James are a couple.
Rating: R, for violence, rape, suicide attempts, language, and some adult situations. This is the FF.net-friendly version. (Meaning, everything will be toned down quite a bit.) The real version will be posted on the website that Caytin Lowe and I own, . (If that address didn't show up, the site is listed in my profile.)
Warnings: VERY IMPORTANT!!! READ!!! This fic will deal with heavy angst, depression, violence, suicide attempts, homosexuality issues, and *SLASH*. (Though no slash relationships develop.) If this is not your cup of tea, kindly LEAVE, and read The Mirror Dwellers, or the Full Circle series. (A couple of non-slashy, non-angsty fics of mine.) If you wish to read a non-slashy, not-so-angsty well-written Peter-goes-to-the-Dark-Side fic, I suggest you read Avlyn's Wormtail's Betrayal!
Summary: In a world where homosexuality is an abomination, Peter Pettigrew develops feelings for his best friend, Remus Lupin. Peter finally gathers up the courage to act on his feelings, only to get politely rejected. The Marauders are determined to stand by him, but the friendship weakens after many complaints from parents about a "faggot" attending school with their children, and numerous beatings, rapes, and suicide attempts. The Slytherins, who see an opportunity to trap yet another innocent soul in Voldemort's evil clutches, befriend Peter, luring him to the Dark Side. Covers MWPP's 7th year, through the beginning of Peter's life as Percy's pet rat. (Scabbers belonged to Percy first.) There will be a sequel, beginning in Ron's first year. There may be more fics added to it, because I'm at least going to write until Goblet of Fire. THIS FIC WILL NOT HAVE A HAPPY ENDING!!!
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it belongs to JKR. I own the plotline, along with a few minor OC's here and there. If you wish to use my stuff, or archive this story, please ask me first!
SORRY FOR THE LONG A/N!!! R&R, PLEASE!!!
Have You Ever, by Brandy Norwood
Have you ever
loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at
night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
Have you
ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your life
You'd do anything to look in their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for that day when they will care
What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta do to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
'Cause baby I can't sleep
Sand colored hair… eyes the color of honey… sexy smile… and the sense of danger that all werewolves radiate. Yes, the object of Peter Pettigrew's affection was *almost* perfect. What's the problem, you say? Well… Remus Lupin was kind of a boy…
Peter moaned in confusion and buried his head in his hands. It had all started a month ago. Peter had been tagging along on the prank playing as usual. He had looked over to see Remus lifting his head back in laughter, and suddenly saw him in a different light. Peter didn't understand the strange feelings that had abruptly washed over him. It was as if they had been there all along, merely lying dormant.
After that, Peter had constantly been picturing what it would be like to kiss those sweet lips that were always curved in a kind smile… what it would be like to have both their bodies drenched in sweat after an endless night of passionate love-making.
//Snap out of it, Peter! You can't be thinking like this about another guy! It isn't natural!// thought Peter, as he felt himself begin to stiffen.
But a little voice inside his heart told him that it was as natural as life and death, and as vital as oxygen.
Peter didn't know if he was in love with Remus… hell, he didn't know *what* he was feeling. All he knew was that he *needed* Remus. He *needed* that body intertwined with his own… alabaster mixing with ivory… One extra protruding part, and two lacking didn't really make *that* much difference, did it?
The tears came down in rivers as Peter slowly began to realize what this could mean.
Was he… gay? A fag? A fruitcake? A fucking *freak*? Everyone knew homosexuality was wrong. It was a wonder that there was no law stating that you could be sent to St. Mungo's, or even worse, Azkaban, for merely getting a hard-on from thinking about another boy.
//I can't be gay… I can't be…//
He had certainly never felt this way about a girl before. He had never woken up in a cold sweat, his sheets soaked with a sticky white substance after dreaming about a particularly bewitching veela… Once, back in fifth year, he had one of *those* dreams about Ben Morgan, a tall dark and handsome Ravenclaw in his year. He never told anybody about it, and merely figured it was something that happened to all teenage boys. After all, his dreams were out of his control, right?
Wrong. He had been taught all of his life that homosexuality was a choice, and if he was gay, it was his fault.
//Maybe it's just a phase…//
The little voice in his heart spoke again, telling him that it wasn't. His feelings for Remus weren't just a passing fortuity. They were set in stone.
//Holy fuck… I'm a fag…//
A/N: There it is, the prologue! Just so you know, I am *not* against homosexuality. I have several friends that are gay and feel that it is completely unfair what they are put through. I do not believe that homosexuality is a choice. (I mean come on, do we straight people just wake up one day and say "Hmmm, I think I wanna be straight!" So why would it be different for gay people? And why if holy hell would *anyone* choose to be treated the way say… Matthew Shepard… was treated? Didn't think so.) This story is meant to be an allegory to show exactly what cruelty can do. =^_^=