Unlike The Farting Menace and Annoying Little Bella Donna and Mickey who write good trailers, here is the one I wrote. Forgive, I made it up in science class in 10 minutes. It's full of unreliable information.

I have given it no sound because I can't think of anything appropriate except that Prelude organ piece. Any suggestions?

Also, there is a lot of flashing (of bright lights for those who think of other things) – a lack of variety.

And does anyone know the correct spelling of ariel?

The DreamWorks logo appears, then flashes to the Nickelodeon logo

Flash. A black screen appears. White text forms in the centre of the screen

Three children…

Flash to a framed photograph of the three Baudelaires during happier times

Flash back to a black screen with white text

…Are about to discover…

Flash to an ariel camera close up of a law book Klaus is flipping through. He stops on a page and runs his finger along a line

Flash back to a black screen with white text

…That a man named Lemony…

Flash to foggy view of Mr Poe approaching at Briny Beach

Flash back to a black screen with white text

…Is exploiting them…

Flash to Violet and Klaus locked up behind bars screaming for help

Flash back to a black screen with white text

…To make money.

Flash to Olaf discussing things with his troupe at a round table

Olaf: I'm going to be rich! Hahaha!

Flash back to a black screen with white text

From 2004…

Flash to Uncle Monty greeting the children

Monty: Hello there, Baudelaires!

Flash back to a black screen with white text

…To 2010…

Flash to a headshot of Esmé

Esmé: I'm going to get your money if it's the last thing I do!

Flash back to a black screen with white text

…A series of unfortunate events…

A series of flashes: ariel view of Violet on the operation table – Sunny in a birdcage – Olaf striking Klaus onto the floor – a mansion on fire – a murder of crows – Nero playing the violin – a pit full of lions – the Baudelaires sponging a wall – Olaf sneering – Violet saying "I do" and closing her eyes in dismay

Flash back to a black screen with white text

…Will appear before your eyes.

Flash to Esmé with an arm around Violet and an arm around Klaus

Esmé (in a deadly voice): We're going to take the elevator.

(The elevator doors open and she pushes them down. We see an ariel view of the children falling, stretching out he arms in slow motion.)

Flash back to a black screen with white text

Jim Carrey

Flash to Shirley at her receptionist desk

Shirley: You don't want me to rip out your hair now, do you?

Flash back to a black screen with white text

Anna Paquin

Flash to Violet tossing her wielding torch into a corner

Violet: It's all my fault!

Flash back to a black screen with white text

Edward Carr

Flash to Klaus holding up long, thin, rusty saw

Klaus: The cranioectomy will be performed with a knife.

Flash back to a black screen with white text

Jill Eberhardt

Flash to Sunny climbing up the elevator wall with her teeth

Flash back to a black screen with white text

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Flash to Olaf

Olaf: I'll get you my pretties!

Flash back to a black screen with white text

Coming soon…

So…