The Ecchi Adventures of Reanna and Akio
Episode 16: Rose is Rain!
By Reanna King
NOTES: Yes, I know it's been a long time. College has me awfully busy, but I decided I had better get to Ecchi Adventures so I can finish up the movie parody, hopefully by the end of the year. I'm looking into doing a Gokudo-kun Mannyu-ki crossover sometime after this. **sigh** I fell in love with Prince Niari. … yeah. See Gokudo. It's really funny. I have another crossover idea, but I'm still deciding if I… should… or not… uhh… it'd be relating to comments Akio has made in the past about his hatred for a particular race of demons. I also had a great idea for if this series ever reaches its finale. I guess it would actually get fairly serious for a bit, if I use this idea. Ever since a reviewer read deeply into Episode Four, the idea of doing something kind of serious has been wandering around in my head. By the way, the scene that was once Akio explaining how Dios turned into Akio has been replaced by the explanation of a different, but similar, transformation. It's a clue, including some foreshadowing into my possible finale idea.
(A rush of bubbles fades us in to the next scene—the school swimming pool, where some students are cleaning it)
REANNA: (in a purple swimsuit, on a beach chair by the pool) Ne, Akio-san… all the original cast members are here for this scene, ne… (She sits up and looks around) Akio-san? Akio-san? Where did you go? (she gets up)
EIGA WAKABA: Yaaaahhhh!! (She whacks REANNA with the broom)
REANNA: (lying face down on the ground) Owwwww… what was that for?
EIGA WAKABA: Oops.
REANNA: (muffled because she's still on the ground) Say, Wakaba… have you seen a tall dark-skinned guy around here anywhere?
EIGA WAKABA: (thinks a moment) Ummmm… I saw a guy like that heading for the bathrooms.
REANNA: (stumbles to her feet) Right… okay… (she trudges off)
(Nearby, EIGA UTENA is taking a drink from a water fountain. EIGA TOUGA walks by, and of course, she notices. EIGA TOUGA walks over to her.)
EIGA TOUGA: I see that you've been chosen as a duelist.
EIGA UTENA: You said this ring led you to this academy. Then are you also trying to win her? (she looks over at ANSHI, who is helping to clean the pool)
REANNA: (comes trudging up) Excuse me… toire wa doko?
(EIGA TOUGA and EIGA UTENA point off to the right)
REANNA: Thanks… (she walks off where they've pointed)
EIGA UTENA: (to EIGA TOUGA) Well? Are you trying to win Anshi as well?
EIGA TOUGA: You can say that…
EIGA UTENA: Why?
EIGA TOUGA: Why? Of course… because she's attractive.
(MEANWHILE, REANNA walks into the men's bathroom. AKIO stands staring at his reflection in one of the mirrors)
AKIO: Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough… and… and doggone it, people—
REANNA: Akio-san!
AKIO: (startled) Ack! You—you're not supposed to be in here!
REANNA: What are you up to?
AKIO: Eeto… rehearsing?
REANNA: (looks dubious) Really. Listen, I need to know if you've seen Anshi. I have Touga and Utena by the pool in case they're needed, but I can't find Anshi anywhere.
AKIO: (awkwardly) Uhh… I dunno…
REANNA: Do you really not know, Akio-san? What are you hiding?
AKIO: (waves his hands) No, no, it's not like that! It's just…
REANNA: It's what? What is Anshi doing?
AKIO: It's just… it's just that it's… it's ALL TOO WRONG!
REANNA: Huh?
AKIO: Check out the girls' bathroom. But don't blame me for what you see!
REANNA: Now you've got me curious… (she leaves)
(MEANWHILE, EIGA TOUGA and EIGA UTENA are still talking)
EIGA UTENA: Do you know what kind of girl she is?
EIGA TOUGA: What kind of girl is she?
EIGA UTENA: She's weird.
EIGA TOUGA: … … really.
(REANNA steps into the girls' bathroom, and immediately hears two familiar voices)
VOICE: Call me queen! (whack!)
OTHER VOICE: Chu!
VOICE: Not "chu!" QUEEN! (whack!)
OTHER VOICE: CHUUUUU!!
REANNA: Anshi! What in the name of all things good and decent are you doing?!
(ANSHI looks up. She's missing her glasses again, and is standing over a sink, where CHU CHU is suspended by its hands from the faucet. ANSHI is holding a tiny whip)
ANSHI: Bad monkeys must be punished… don't you agree?
REANNA: I… I… uh…
ANSHI: (looks at REANNA) Ahhh… so it's you… the… SELF INSERT…
REANNA: That's right, I'm the self insert, and I'm not letting you humiliate me again!
ANSHI: (holds up an unmistakable object and jumps at REANNA) O HO HO HO HO HO HO!!!!! I'VE GOT YOUR "SELF INSERT" RIGHT HERE, BITCH!
REANNA: Ack!
(MEANWHILE…)
EIGA UTENA: Because… anyone who wins the duel… she'll…
EIGA TOUGA: What? (EIGA UTENA seems to have trouble spitting it out) She's the Rose Bride. Of course, she'll spend the night with whom she's engaged.
EIGA UTENA: Have you ever won a duel yourself?
EIGA TOUGA: (chuckles)
EIGA UTENA: And did that "engage" thing with Himemiya?
EIGA TOUGA: That shouldn't be any of your business, should it? (EIGA UTENA realizes he sort of has a point there…) … Himemiya Anshi…
(Suddenly, blood-curdling screams go up from in the direction of the bathrooms)
EIGA UTENA: W… what's that noise?
EIGA TOUGA: I'm not sure… sounds like someone's in trouble.
VOICE: IYAAAA!! HANASHITE YO! YAMETE, YAMETE!
OTHER VOICE: O HO HO HO HO HO! TAKE IT, BITCH!!
VOICE: Nonononononononononono!!!
EIGA UTENA: Come on!
(They both run off in the direction of the screams)
(EIGA UTENA and EIGA TOUGA rush into the bathroom and are met with the sight of REANNA, tied up with shreds of her own clothing)
REANNA: Anshi… how… could you…
ANSHI: O ho ho ho ho ho… does anyone else wish to defy the judgment of Evil Anshi?
VOICE: Ready! Set!
(EIGHT GIRLS, including EIGA ANSHI, carrying brooms, run into the bathroom)
(A whistle blows)
GIRLS: Hai! Haaaaaiii! (the girls start scrubbing REANNA down with their brooms)
REANNA: OW! What the hell?!
GIRLS: Hai! Haaaaiiii!
REANNA: Ow, that HURTS! CUT IT OUT!
GIRLS: Hai! Haaaaiiii!
REANNA: Why are you even doing this??!!
(Finally, the girls stop. EIGA ANSHI walks over to EIGA UTENA and EIGA TOUGA)
EIGA ANSHI: What shall we do tonight?
REANNA: How about untie me?
EIGA UTENA: I told you yesterday! I have no interest in the Rose Bride?
REANNA: How about taking an interest in untying me?
EIGA ANSHI: Really?
EIGA TOUGA: This prince who has won you is so indifferent.
REANNA: Especially on the issue of getting me untied…
EIGA ANSHI: Sou desu ne.
(suddenly, AKIO bursts into the room)
AKIO: I heard screams! What's happening? Can I watch? (he spots REANNA) Oooh, don't you look cute! (he kneels down next to a still bound REANNA)
REANNA: (struggling) Akio-san! Untie me right now! … urk! Hey, wha—
AKIO: (holds up an unmistakable object) Hmm? (he shrugs and tosses it over his shoulder, where EVIL ANSHI catches it. AKIO turns around to face her)
EVIL ANSHI: What? I was bored of torturing Chu Chu!
AKIO: You're in big trouble this time!
EVIL ANSHI: S… sorry. I'm sorry!
AKIO: (untying REANNA) You decided to capture and torment Ri-chan… and you didn't tell me?! I would have loved to watch, you know!
EVIL ANSHI: I know… **sniff** But… but I forgot!
EIGA TOUGA: Excuse me… but … uh… what the hell's going on here?
AKIO: (points to REANNA) She's a self insert.
EIGA UTENA: Ah. That explains a lot.
(EIGA TOUGA, EIGA UTENA and EIGA ANSHI leave)
AKIO: Ri-chan… We have to get ready for the next scene.
REANNA: That's right! You're in the next scene! Akio-san, get ready while I… uh… find some clothes.
AKIO: Ri-chan?
REANNA: What?
AKIO: Ummm… … nothing.
REANNA: Akio-san… could you glue Anshi's glasses to her head? Please?
AKIO: (voice, over the phone) Hmm, why did the stranger imprison the Morning Star?
(We're back in the afterlife-bedroom-thingy… we see EIGA SHIORI painting her fingernails on the bed, with EIGA TOUGA sitting nearby)
AKIO: Anyway, then the stranger appeared. That was something to deal with. (we see that EIGA TOUGA is listening to AKIO'S voice on the phone)
AKIO: The stranger may not have been a powerful one, but she did have powers, the strongest of which she couldn't control. But there was another secret.
EIGA TOUGA: What was that?
AKIO: While the Morning Star was truly the Rose Prince's true form, there was another form. In appearing in this world, the stranger used her powers to change the Morning Star into the Evening Star.
REANNA: (hiding under the bed) This sounds familiar… what's an Evening Star?
TOUGA: (sweatdrops)
AKIO: Even so, the Evening Star has not yet fully manifested in the Morning Star. There is a fine line, a delicate balance between the two. If that balance is broken, Morning will be come Evening and evil will prevail.
REANNA: This isn't following the script! He's supposed to be talking about Dios and Anshi, not about an Evening Star and some stranger!
EIGA TOUGA: And what would break that balance?
AKIO: Time. IT must be destroyed during the short time that Morning and Evening are united. If it is, Morning will prevail. If they are separated at that time, Evening will prevail, and evil will run rampant.
REANNA: I'll have to ask Akio-san what he was talking about later…
(We see that the phone is lying on an end table, and TOUGA is now painting EIGA SHIORI'S toenails)
EIGA TOUGA: So that's why you're in such a hurry for the destruction to take place… the revolution that will restore your power. (EIGA SHIORI seems to be enjoying the nail-painting session a bit much)
(The phone goes dead)
EIGA TOUGA: But in the end… I'll be the one with power. (a sheet falls off a painting, behind EIGA SHIORI)
EIGA SHIORI: What are you trying to gain?
(A new setting: a bathroom. We see a bathtub)
MIKI: What do you mean, what? (thoughts) Why do I have to do this…?
KOZUE: Don't try to hide it. I know you've done things I don't know about. (we see a rubber ducky floating in the tub) Don't move.
MIKI: You mean, like fighting island natives, getting abducted by aliens and stuff?
(KOZUE pulls MIKI around, yanking the curtain from its rings and sending lots of water spilling out of the tub. We see her holding the knife to MIKI'S throat and her other hand covering his mouth)
KOZUE: You traitor.
(Nighttime. We cut away and see the gate to EIGA UTENA'S dorm open and close, and EIGA ANSHI walking out into the darkness. EIGA UTENA watches her)
EIGA UTENA: Where is she going at this hour? (we watch EIGA ANSHI walk away) So she's the Rose Bride.
(cut away again, to EIGA SHIORI and TOUGA (as opposed to Eiga Touga) lying in the bed. EIGA SHIORI is under the covers, but EIGA TOUGA is above them, with his jacket removed. REANNA is still under the bed)
TOUGA: When I was a boy, I grew out my hair, as told by my father. That's what the customer wanted.
EIGA SHIORI: Customer?
TOUGA: My current father. I was sold.
(We see a large, stately house, and hear a doorbell ringing. Then we see a set of stairs and hear footsteps. We see a man walking with a young boy (Touga) down a hallway with a red carpet. A set of double doors open to show a man standing in front of a desk, smoking a pipe. He smiles at the two people who have just entered. We see young Touga, with shoulder-length hair, looking expressionlessly forward)
TOUGA: I lost a lot of things, but thanks to it… I could partake in this academy's duel game thing.
(Back to EIGA SHIORI and TOUGA'S room. The sheet on the bed, which lies partly on the floor, is being drawn up onto the bed. In fact many sheets in the room are being drawn onto the bed and twisting into a cocoon shape. The sheet used to be covering the sides of the bed to keep REANNA hidden, but when the sheet comes up, her body is partly revealed. She scooches back under the bed)
EIGA SHIORI: I know you'll win. You won't lose to Juri.
TOUGA: To Juri?
EIGA SHIORI: Because… … she's gross.
(We see young TOUGA running from his new home, down a sidewalk)
EIGA SHIORI: She doesn't think anyone knows, but I saw it.
(TOUGA'S running through the woods)
TOUGA: Saw what?
(TOUGA'S NEW FATHER running after him. Both enter a cabbage patch.)
EIGA SHIORI: She always wears this pendant, doesn't she?
(TOUGA falls)
EIGA SHIORI: She has my photo in the locket and stares at it when she's by herself.
(TOUGA'S NEW FATHER leans down over TOUGA. Shot of TOUGA struggling in the background, with cabbages in the foreground)
EIGA SHIORI: It makes me want to throw up. This became a rumor, and I'm so haunted by it.
(A tiny bud on the side of a cabbage. The cabbage turns into the swirling sheets in EIGA SHIORI and TOUGA'S room, but the bud remains. The sheets begin to swirl around it)
TOUGA: I wonder who was spreading that rumor.
(The sheets burst and wave past us, and we finally see a naked SHIORI from behind. Her shoulder blades bulge, and then break open as white sheet-wings burst forth from them. They become moth's wings, and the picture fades to show the tiny cabbage-fairy Shiori clinging to a cabbage in the garden. Now we see moths, hundreds of them, all clinging to the sides of the cabbages. They all fly away as we see, far in the background, Touga and his father, still in the same position)
TOUGA: (out of the flashback, gets up off the bed) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGHHHH!! (he runs over to the wall and repeatedly bashes his head against it)
EIGA SHIORI: What… are you doing? I need you to win the duel and punish Juri!
ADULT TOUGA: I don't know. I plan to win the duel, but I can't be cruel to Juri.
(close-up of young TOUGA with his shirt torn)
REANNA: Ah-choo!
EIGA SHIORI: What's that noise?
TOUGA: (still standing by the wall) Heh heh… that was me!
EIGA SHIORI: No, it came from under the bed… (she looks under the bed) What the! Who are you? What are you doing here?
REANNA: Sleeping.
EIGA SHIORI: Oh… ok. Why are you sleeping UNDER the bed?
REANNA: … … bad sense of direction?
TOUGA: My head hurts... (He turns onto his stomach, to let EIGA SHIORI finish what she's been drawing on him—Keroppon.)
I'm tired…
What is the Evening Star?
How long can the insanity go on?
And how long will my readers put up with it?
All these questions, and some questions you never wanted to
know the answers to will be answered in:
The Ecchi Adventures of Reanna and Akio, Episode Seventeen:
"Akio no Sanagi!"
"O HO HO HO HO HO HO!!!!! I'VE GOT YOUR "SELF INSERT" RIGHT HERE, BITCH!"