Title: Hurts
Author: Chimera
Rating: Something you shouldn't let the kids read.
Disclaimer: I don't think a fourteen year old Australian girl with seventy dollars and four notebooks in the world owns either of the Hardyz. If you think so you're even crazier than I am.
Notes: Just something piece of crap thing I whipped up in about twenty minutes. Inspired by Demelza's story 'Despair', part of 'The Firefly Series'. fanfiction.net won't let me post the address (tried four friggin' times) but if you want her homepage address you just need to ask. Could actually turn out to be a prologue to something. But I don't think so.
Warning: Swearing. Lots. Also may be slash and incest if you're really looking for it and run with the tiniest hints of things.
"It isn't even that I won't ever see you! It's that I had to find out from Shane!"
Jeff crossed his arms, posture defensive. "I already explained-"
"Yeah, you couldn't get in touch." Matt dropped onto the bed, seemingly exhausted. Jeff stayed rigid, knowing this was the eye of the hurricane, so to speak. "FUCKIN' HELL JEFF!" he exploded.
"What the fuck did you want me to do?!" Jeff yelled right back.
"Call! Text message! Fuckin' carrier pigeons!"
Jeff rolled his eyes. "Bloody hell Matt, it's not doing anything getting pissy."
Matt mocked him, standing in the exactly the same way. "Bloody hell Matt," he mimicked. "Jeff…fuck. Can you blame me for getting pissed?"
"Matt," Jeff tried to placate him. "I'm sorry, but it's not like we will never see each other. And you'll be able to be yourself. Remember back when you said that how you wanted?"
Brown eyes glanced up at him, and jaw dropped. "You think…my God, Jeff. I was rather wallow further down the ladder than fuckin' Tommy Dreamer with you than be World-fuckin'-Champion without you!"
"But that's just it, Matt! I'm not with you!"
Those brown eyes teared up, and Jeff immediately felt contrite. "Matty…"
The elder brother jumped up from the bed and stumbled away. "You know how I told you I had something important to tell you, last week?"
Jeff nodded, a little bemused.
Matt snorted a little, rubbing at his nose. "You wanna know what that was Jeff?" He gave out a little whimper and feel onto the bed. His brown, hurt eyes held Jeff's confused and still angry green. "I was moving to RAW. I would have been on the exact same schedule as you. Fighting you. Goddamn touching you!"
"Shit…Matt…" Jeff drifted off, his mind confused.
Matt let angry sobs rack his body, letting them mercilessly run through himself for a few moments. Jeff tried to hug him, coming around the other side of the bed, but Matt jumped up and walked away abruptly.
"Fuckin'…Jeff…I love this business."
Jeff nodded at the statement. Everyone fuckin' knew how much Matt loved the wrestling biz.
Matt choked out a teary grin. "You remember why we started wrestling? Why we built the ring? Why we built OMEGA? Why we busted our mother-fucking asses to get maybe twelve dollars profit? Why, when we signed the contracts, we went straight back home and practised on our ring?"
Jeff simply stared, his eyes now too filled with tears to even see his brother clearly.
"Because of you," Matt said softly. "Because you liked what you did. Because you liked how we did it. And I did it because I thought you enjoyed it. Goddamn it. I would fuckin' like being chewed alive by a shark if you said you liked the colour of them! I enjoyed getting my ass kicked by jobbers because you liked your push! I fuckin' lived this fuckin' business because you liked it!"
By this time both brothers were crying.
Matt wiped his tears away. He suddenly got a picture of Jeff, crumpled onto the bed. "And this is how you fuckin' repay me. By not even telling me my entire life has gone up in smoke."
"You wanted to fuckin' run my life!" Jeff suddenly burst out. "If I said I liked Marilyn Manson, you'd have every one of his CDs on my bed in an hour! You fuckin' tell me when to get up! You tell me when to eat! You tell me who to fuck!"
Matt stared at him. "Yeah, baby, I want to run your life, to keep you safe," he said softly. "I want you to be there to run mine, to hold me when I fuckin' cried 'cause I heard something sad. And now you won't be there anymore."
Jeff growled, his face full of angry tears and sad fierceness. "This hurts," he said, with almost a tinge of surprise. "You're hurting me."
The brunette let out an almost hysterical laugh. "I'm hurting you," he repeated incredulously.
He let out a sigh. "Fuck."
Jeff let out a mirthless snort. "Precisely."
"I'm not doing this anymore," Matt said bluntly. "I fuckin' love you, Jeff."
"I love you, Matty," Jeff sighed back.
Matt let out a laugh that sounded more like a cancer-ridden cough. "I'm leaving."
The younger man was silent.
"You can be yourself now. You've always said you could be your own person if I backed off."
Matt turned to the door. "Jeff."
The man cocked his head towards the door, wiping angrily at hot tear tracks down his face. Matt's silhouette was dark against the flickering light of the crappy motel Jeff had elected to stay in the night in. His hair was untied, mussed from continual pulling, and he was slumped, defeated.
"Goodbye, little brother."
He closed the door behind him.
Jeff stared at the wood.
"Bye big brother."