Why, Lord, have you brought this upon me?
Noonday sun shot its blinding arrows with unerring aim down upon the compound fondly known as Mutant High. Teenage mutants played their games amongst themselves – those normal games of social ladder climbing and power that ruled most playgrounds throughout the nation. And yet, such games were accompanied by jovial laughter, rarely mocking at face value, and to most, this would be a scene of total bliss.
But not every mutant throughout the compound was happy. Two mutants, in particular, bore shattered hearts tainted by the painful exposure of emotion and thought.
One of these mutants was busy, trying to forget the agonizing experience of a heart laid open and vulnerable. The other had not moved for a good hour, at least.
Not a whisper dared mar the heavy silence of the room. There was a void here – a vacuum selectively absorbing only sound and movement. In itself, the room had not changed since early morning when the occupant had made the bed. The tenant, however, had transformed entirely.
Had Kurt Wagner felt up to prayer right now, he would not have broken the blanket of utter stillness, either. He would have prayed for even the tiniest sound to do it for him.
But at the moment, he was most definitely not feeling inclined to beseech his Lord. He had been too far shaken by the woman Ororo's proclamation.
What had she been thinking? He could not imagine. At her simple nudging, he had trusted her enough to lay his entire life at her feet, vulnerable and tender. She had betrayed that unspoken trust.
How could she say that she loved him? She knew about Jimaine. She knew that he had just made himself as weak and susceptible to pain as he had ever been. And she had attacked without mercy.
He had thought that he loved her, at first. Back when she and Dr. Gray had collected him from his sanctuary. That was why he had gone with them. He had thought she was going to be his heart's saviour.
It had turned out so differently. She was not an Angel of G-d. She had not been sent to heal his scarred heart. She was simply another woman, whom he had ended up not loving, after all.
It was not as if he had fallen in love with her at first sight. He had simply thought that he would inevitably come to love her. But he had not. As wonderful as she was, she had not captured his heart.
On top of this, she would not accept his faith. She wanted him to wash it aside, to make way for her love. And Kurt knew that he could never do that.
All he had left now was his past. Such a companion it was, too. All it ever brought him was grief, and a glimmer of happiness that slid from his vision as soon as it caught his eye, like the glimmer of the furthest star. All he had now was the continuous struggle to hold on to that glimmer.
Sadly, he turned the rosary beads around in his demoniac hands, unconsciously breaking the utter stillness of the room. He began to recite the Glory Be.
"Ehre sei dem Vater und dem Sohn und dem heiligen Geist..."
His hand suddenly clenched tightly around the pearly beads as Kurt raised his golden eyes to look at the ceiling. All those around him – G-d, Ororo, the Professor, Dr. Gray – they had all been so kind to him. They all offered him a bright future. And yet, he was sitting here, wallowing in his past. He had been so selfish and blind.
He needed to cherish the present. He should be living the now, rather than reliving the then. He had to accept the free gift those around him were offering him – happiness.
So many people were accepting him for who and what he was, unlike many of those in his past. They were accepting him, attempting to heal him, trying to help him. Essentially, he had been turning down their best efforts.
I am sorry, Lord.
With a new determination he knew to be a gift from his G-d, Kurt Wagner turned about on the bed. He did not need his past. He could never forget it, and he would continue to pray for it regularly, but he now knew that it was not the most important thing for the present.
As he stood and headed for the door, Kurt felt the beginnings of a smile in the pit of his soul. He would not grin for a time yet, he understood, but it was a start. He would be happy one day. As he opened the door to leave, Kurt sent a final prayer to his G-d.
Thank you, Lord.
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A/N: That ending sucked. I dunno, it was too sudden or something. But hey, I was getting sick of this story anyway. I never liked it.
Well, this has been hard. Trying to tie the comics in with the movie, especially since they are really quite unrelated. But, since I read the comic long before the movies came, I am a bit more loyal to the original story. So you would have seen more of the comic here than the movie, I think.
This little fic never had a plan, unlike stuff I normally write. I just wrote the prologue, with the intention of Kurt rejecting Ororo some time. So it hasn't really ended up with much of a plot. It didn't quite satisfy at the end, but hey, I feel like moving on to another fic. I haven't quite figured out what it will be about, but... oh well.
That's it for now!
~Kekkie