Title: Jay and Silent Bob Visit the Magical World of Disney
Author: Meghan_aka_KRAMMIT_THE_FROG
Rating: PG-13
Summery: While visiting Disneyworld, our favorite drug dealers come across a portal to another world while following what appeared to be a mining dwarf. They end up in a world full of princes, princesses, and talking animals and objects. As they travel, they soon realize that their supply of pot is running low. How will Jay and Silent Bob survive with less than a pound of weed while trying to help the heroines with their quest to marry the man of their dreams?
Author's Notes: You WILL recognize the characters in the story…unless you don't watch Disney movies. Oh, and instead of saying "fuck", I will say "fock". Okay? Okay.
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this story. Jay and Silent Bob belong to Kevin Smith and all the Disney fairytale people belong to Walt Disney.
Feedback: Yes please!
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Disney World
Jay opened a beer as he and his hetero life mate, Silent Bob, checked out women. It was a shame that the women that caught their eyes had no interest in them whatsoever. Our tall, lanky, foul-mouthed hero was checking out a young mother when his round, good-hearted friend caught a glimpse of Mickey Mouse, who was meeting with little kids. Bob remembered watching the Disney Channel when he was younger with his mom, wanting to meet him.
Now, he had his chance to meet his childhood hero. Silent Bob tugged Jay's coat, his eyes never leaving Mickey. Jay, of course, was having X-rated fantasies with the mother in front of him. The young woman then noticed him staring at her and got bit appalled. She beckoned someone over, and then came a tall, well built man, apparently the father the woman's young son. As the two talked, she pointed at our two favorite drug dealers. The man slowly became red and turned Jay. Fear struck Jay's face and he quickly said to his compatriot,
"Yo, tubby, we best be goin' now. Fockin' Disneyworld is the wrong place to meet honeys!" Silent Bob was still preoccupied with Mickey Mouse. He simply pointed to Mickey, who then started to slowly walk away. Bob started to walk to him when Jay grabbed him and ran in the other direction, the well-built father close behind.
They were now near Terror Tower when Silent Bob tripped over something. Both he and Jay looked to see a very short, stubby man run away. Jay helped Bob up.
"Jesus! Married chicks, midget men, giant ducks with no pants…this place isn't magical. It just sucks balls!" He remarked as he shook his head. Silent Bob pulled him in the course of the small man. Jay kept look over his shoulder for the angry father.
They were walking until Silent Bob suddenly stopped. Jay ran right into him. As he sat up, he went into another long rant,
"Why the fock did you stop!? There's a psycho guy after us and you're just gonna stop!? What the fock is wrong with you, man!?" All Silent Bob did was point. Before them stood a tiny door on the side of a bathroom stall. Out of the stall walked an enormously obese man who turned about and sprayed the bathroom. He turned to Jay and Silent Bob and commented,
"Don't go in there for awhile, kids. That is, if you want to breath. Woo!" The man then walked away. Jay turned to Silent Bob and started shaking his head.
"Oh no, dude. NO WAY! You heard what the fat man said! I can't die without one last fock!" He shouted at Bob. Silent Bob turned to the small door and reached for the knob. He slowly turned it and pulled it open. Jay immediately covered his nose. But instead of a horrendous horrible smell, a huge white light emerged. After a moment of thinking, Silent Bob then tried to go through the small door, only to get stuck. Jay stood up.
"Holy shit, tubby! You're that fat?" He asked. Silent Bob rolled his eyes and banged his fists. Jay sighed and continued,
"A'ight, lunchbox. It's your ass that's gonna get kicked." He lifted his foot and kicked Silent Bob's ass! Bob immediately went in. Jay, still afraid of the psycho dad, followed him in. Once both entered, the small door slowly closed.
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