Previously
As if something physically snaps inside me, a floodgate of tears open up, and I cry and cry, unable to stop.
I cry for the innocent puppy that lies dead in my lap.
I cry for the fact that I was the one that took the life.
I cry for myself, and for what I have become, a monster.
I cry for Serena, and her death, for if it had never happened I wouldn't be damned like this.
And I cry for what the future holds for me, knowing only one thing for certain, that it will never be the same, I am now trapped in a world of darkness, one that I doubt I will ever be free from.
Not being able to stand it a second longer in this alley, the alley that has torn my life from me, I quickly and yet gently move the small body down onto the concrete, taking one last glance at it, noting how it seems to be only in a sweet sleep from this angle.
Heading out into the light I run, I run like I never have before, I run as if the devil himself was snapping at my heals.
I keep on running, with the one hope that I'll be able to leave the terror behind me, knowing even then, deep down, that the worse has yet to come.
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Part 4
Ever had one of those dreams which are so vivid that when you wake up it takes a while to figure out what is real and what isn't?
Now imagine going for hours with that one same feeling, doubting whether what around you is real or not, unable to form one pure cohesive thought. Welcome to my world.
I have no idea how I managed to get all the way home from London, I have no idea how I got into my house and now find myself waiting for the kettle to boil for a cup of tea. All my memories are either vague or jumbled up, distantly I realise I'm shock, but that information hasn't really seeped in that much. Completely running on autopilot like this I wonder somewhere in the recesses of my mind if this is what a zombie must feel like.
The noise of the kettle boiling is like being in the center of Niagara falls, slowly becoming used to the loud sounds I've figured out all I have to do to gain control over my senses is to grit my teeth and try to behr with it. The more I seem to do this, the easier it becomes for some reason. That is, until the telephone rings and I once again found myself crumpled up on the floor.
Things again become vague after that, next thing I know I'm sitting on my living room couch with my cup of tea warming my hands.
Taking a sip of the warm brew I practically choke upon it and spit the contents on to the floor. The taste is vile, as if I had left the water to continually heat up over three days before drinking it, stagnant and repellent to the core.
A loud knock at the door takes my attention off the disgusting taste as I get up and open it knowing already somehow its Alex. I stand there looking blankly at him for a moment and watch as a frown crosses his features at the sight of me.
"God, Liz, what's happened to you?" He asks.
"I woke up today and decided on a change." I say mockingly.
"Liz, be serious, something's truly wrong with you."
"I know."
Walking back over to the couch I hear him close the door and follow me sitting down opposite. The silence that follows is almost tangible, he continues to stare at me all the while, and I realise then, he knows somehow, what has happened to me. I can see it in his eyes when pity replaces the anxiety in them.
"What happened to you over the weekend Liz?" He asks plainly in an even voice.
"You tell me Alex, you're the one who's a member of an Occult Order, shouldn't your lessons have taught you how to read people? Easy enough I think."
"Yes, they teach us to read people, but your not a person anymore, I." He sighs. "Liz, even a first level initiate could tell something immense has happened to you, something evil, malevolence is practically oozing from you. If you weren't one of my closest friends I doubt I would of even come in this house."
I fidget around in my seat as Alex's words make me extraordinarily uncomfortable. "Alex." I say, not sure how to begin, the last 24 hours seem to quickly pile upon me and I find myself longing for sleep.
"Alex." I repeat once more. "W-what do you know about Vampires?" I ask hesitantly.
"What type of Vampire's Liz?" He asks straight out, his expression unreadable.
"There's more than one?" I ask astonished.
"There are many different categories of Vampire's Liz, there are the vampires that seem for the most part to be physical, and vampires that have almost phantom-like attributes. Of the two, the first type of creature is reported the least often to our Order. The phantom type one feeds on living people while they are in bed at night, also there's one type called the 'Larve' which are spiritual entities that pray upon sick people, devouring energy when the persons defensive's are at their weakest. Also there are the 'Incubus' and 'Succubus' which are forms of vampire's that steal sexual energy through intercourse.
Then there's the other category of vampire's, the one which I think your referring to." Alex says letting the sentence drift off.
"Well.?" I ask expectantly.
"I was hoping you could tell me Liz." Alex says dogging my question. Maintaining my stare at him I wait for him to give me some more information.
"L-liz. you know more than anyone that I can't tell you anything I do know on that subject. The Oath I swore when I joined my order binds me to never share its secret's to non-members, the only reason I told you the other stuff was because you can find it easily available in books if you looked for a while. If I was to so much as to share the secrets with a lower level member of the Order I would be playing with fire."
"Fine, I tell you what happened, then you can decide for yourself." I say uncertainly.
I stifle on some of the words of my story as I tell him the whole awful tale, all the while holding back my tears hoping he'll know what to do. By the time I'm finished I feel like the slightest breeze could shatter me into a thousand pieces and I find myself haunted by the eyes of the small innocent little puppy once more.
Alex hasn't said one word since I started the story, which is making me worry more and more by the second. "Alex. I-I'm so scared." I say feebly.
The unreadable expression leave's his face and a sadness take's its place. "Oh, Liz." He says sorrowfully. My eyes blur with tears and I feel his arms wrap around me into a comforting cuddle.
"Liz, come on, remember your training, you're stronger than this, I know it for a fact!" I feel his hand rubbing up and down my back as he continues. "Don't let your emotions overwhelm you Liz, you'll drown in them with this much grief, distance yourself from them and yet still feel them there."
Following his basic instructions I start to gain control over myself again and give him a thankful smile.
"Liz, I have an idea I want to try, to find out the extent of what's happened to you? Are you game to try it?" He asks hopefully.
Giving him a confirming nod he draws me up from the couch with him and leads us down to the cellar that I've set up to by my ritual sacred space.
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Sitting comfortably on the floor in the center of the room I continue to listen to Alex's instructions.
"Kay, Liz, something's happened to you, and neither of us know the extent of it. The only thing we know for certain is that your senses are heightened and that you might have a more keened sixth sense now than you did before." Lighting a candle and placing it before me while burning some incense to a Cinder, I think I understand already what it is he has planned.
"What I want you to do first is learn how to control these powers you know you have, so that any loud sound or bright light won't cripple you instantly. Just go into a trance like you would for a Tattwa vision Liz, but instead of going to another plane of existence, go within the recesses of your own mind and find whatever it is this Serena has put in there. You life-force has increased considerably by her adding to it, but I believe she has added more than just raw power and a vampiric lifestyle." He says almost jokingly, but I don't find it funny in the least.
Sighing he goes over to the over side of the room to give me space as I start my breathing exercise. As I clear my mind of thought only one thing creeps in and that is how easy all this suddenly seems, slowing down my breathing rate and heartbeat normally takes 10 or 20 minutes, but it has leveled off to the right amount with seconds and before I know it I have fallen back within my mind, lost in its obscurity.
I search blindly for anything in my subconscious that I have never felt there before and end up getting drawn to something in one of the very most darkness corners that seems to be almost beckoning me. The closer I get the more fear floods through me, but yet I am unable to turn back the way I came, like getting tangled in some web the more I struggle the tighter I seem to get caught.
Then it strikes and my worse fears ignite at feeling the hostile charge towards me. The atmosphere starts to feel like it's crashing down on me, suffocating my very essence. A powerful darkness grabs and tugs at my nonexistent limbs, pulling me down and down all the while I try to claw my way to freedom from it. Fighting doesn't seem to help, it only slows the process, and the more I fight the weaker and weaker I become.
Then the pain comes.
I try to scream.
As the darkness devours me...
But it does no good.
Deeper and deeper I go,
Till I find myself trapped
In a place where no light falls. ~
My eye's snap open and dart around the room I'm in looking at everything. Something's different about me, but I'm not sure what, I don't even really care what. I rise from my sitting position in one graceful motion, as a voice from the other side of the room gets my attention I turn in that direct quickly.
It stands there expecting me to answer some question I didn't even hear. A wicked grin goes across my face as I slowly stalk my way towards it with predatory poise, my tongue involuntary licking my lips in anticipation.
"Liz? Liz. I asked if you are all right?" Alex asks with concern.
The stench of fear reeks from him and my mouth waters at the thought of tasting his blood flow down my throat. I stop a few feet away from him when something cry's out from deep within me not to do this. Ignoring the feeling I keep going forward until the screaming sensation within my head builds to such a fury I can't stand it anymore.
'This one is not for feeding.' The thought seems to pop out of my head from nowhere and I don't understand from whence it came, but from the moment of hearing it, it seems to make perfect sense. 'Alex, his name is Alex' I realise 'I know this one somehow, but I, just can't, remember.'
I scowl at not being able to recall all the details, but realise it doesn't matter either way, I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep. 'Serena, I must do what Serena asked of me.' Is the only thing that seems clear in the giant mess of memory I have.
"I have to go now Alex." I say not so much as blinking as I look at him. The dread pours off of him, which only makes me smile more, not a kind smile though, the kind of smile that causes him even more apprehension.
"W-what? Liz, what do mean? Go where?" He asks scared and confused as I stalk further towards him.
"My seat at the high council calls to me, I must go and claim it as the new leader before any other Kindred do." I say simply as if it was the most plainest thing for everyone to see.
"Liz what are you talking about? Why do you sound like that? What are you."
He doesn't get a chance to finish his incessant questioning as I strike out with unnatural speed and slam his head against the wall. I hear his skull crack upon impact with the stone, a small trickle of blood is smeared down the wall as he slides down to the floor in a crumpled heap.
I try to ignore my worry over the fact I miss judged my own strength when slamming his head, I'm even more surprised when relief fills me upon seeing the steady rise and fall of his chest and I realise he'll live.
Turning around and heading up the staircase I leave his body lying there.
'And now the Hunt truly begins, God have mercy upon any who oppose me, because I certainly won't.'
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[b]Background information on part4[/b]
Alex, in one part of the story refers to 'the categories,' of vampires. Those descriptions of 'phantom' or 'spiritual' vampire's are in fact not part of the 'Vampire Masquerade' or taken from my imagination. They are in fact from a book called 'Vampires: The Occult Truth' by Konstantinos. According to the back cover that I am now quoting from the guy 'lives in New York, has studied the occult for almost ten years, and has helped several victims of psychic-vampire attacks. He is also the author of 'Summoning Spirits: The Art of Magical Evocation', etc, etc. (Don't look at me, I have no idea if his crazy or not!?! Your guess as good as mine, damn cool book cover though.)
As if something physically snaps inside me, a floodgate of tears open up, and I cry and cry, unable to stop.
I cry for the innocent puppy that lies dead in my lap.
I cry for the fact that I was the one that took the life.
I cry for myself, and for what I have become, a monster.
I cry for Serena, and her death, for if it had never happened I wouldn't be damned like this.
And I cry for what the future holds for me, knowing only one thing for certain, that it will never be the same, I am now trapped in a world of darkness, one that I doubt I will ever be free from.
Not being able to stand it a second longer in this alley, the alley that has torn my life from me, I quickly and yet gently move the small body down onto the concrete, taking one last glance at it, noting how it seems to be only in a sweet sleep from this angle.
Heading out into the light I run, I run like I never have before, I run as if the devil himself was snapping at my heals.
I keep on running, with the one hope that I'll be able to leave the terror behind me, knowing even then, deep down, that the worse has yet to come.
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Part 4
Ever had one of those dreams which are so vivid that when you wake up it takes a while to figure out what is real and what isn't?
Now imagine going for hours with that one same feeling, doubting whether what around you is real or not, unable to form one pure cohesive thought. Welcome to my world.
I have no idea how I managed to get all the way home from London, I have no idea how I got into my house and now find myself waiting for the kettle to boil for a cup of tea. All my memories are either vague or jumbled up, distantly I realise I'm shock, but that information hasn't really seeped in that much. Completely running on autopilot like this I wonder somewhere in the recesses of my mind if this is what a zombie must feel like.
The noise of the kettle boiling is like being in the center of Niagara falls, slowly becoming used to the loud sounds I've figured out all I have to do to gain control over my senses is to grit my teeth and try to behr with it. The more I seem to do this, the easier it becomes for some reason. That is, until the telephone rings and I once again found myself crumpled up on the floor.
Things again become vague after that, next thing I know I'm sitting on my living room couch with my cup of tea warming my hands.
Taking a sip of the warm brew I practically choke upon it and spit the contents on to the floor. The taste is vile, as if I had left the water to continually heat up over three days before drinking it, stagnant and repellent to the core.
A loud knock at the door takes my attention off the disgusting taste as I get up and open it knowing already somehow its Alex. I stand there looking blankly at him for a moment and watch as a frown crosses his features at the sight of me.
"God, Liz, what's happened to you?" He asks.
"I woke up today and decided on a change." I say mockingly.
"Liz, be serious, something's truly wrong with you."
"I know."
Walking back over to the couch I hear him close the door and follow me sitting down opposite. The silence that follows is almost tangible, he continues to stare at me all the while, and I realise then, he knows somehow, what has happened to me. I can see it in his eyes when pity replaces the anxiety in them.
"What happened to you over the weekend Liz?" He asks plainly in an even voice.
"You tell me Alex, you're the one who's a member of an Occult Order, shouldn't your lessons have taught you how to read people? Easy enough I think."
"Yes, they teach us to read people, but your not a person anymore, I." He sighs. "Liz, even a first level initiate could tell something immense has happened to you, something evil, malevolence is practically oozing from you. If you weren't one of my closest friends I doubt I would of even come in this house."
I fidget around in my seat as Alex's words make me extraordinarily uncomfortable. "Alex." I say, not sure how to begin, the last 24 hours seem to quickly pile upon me and I find myself longing for sleep.
"Alex." I repeat once more. "W-what do you know about Vampires?" I ask hesitantly.
"What type of Vampire's Liz?" He asks straight out, his expression unreadable.
"There's more than one?" I ask astonished.
"There are many different categories of Vampire's Liz, there are the vampires that seem for the most part to be physical, and vampires that have almost phantom-like attributes. Of the two, the first type of creature is reported the least often to our Order. The phantom type one feeds on living people while they are in bed at night, also there's one type called the 'Larve' which are spiritual entities that pray upon sick people, devouring energy when the persons defensive's are at their weakest. Also there are the 'Incubus' and 'Succubus' which are forms of vampire's that steal sexual energy through intercourse.
Then there's the other category of vampire's, the one which I think your referring to." Alex says letting the sentence drift off.
"Well.?" I ask expectantly.
"I was hoping you could tell me Liz." Alex says dogging my question. Maintaining my stare at him I wait for him to give me some more information.
"L-liz. you know more than anyone that I can't tell you anything I do know on that subject. The Oath I swore when I joined my order binds me to never share its secret's to non-members, the only reason I told you the other stuff was because you can find it easily available in books if you looked for a while. If I was to so much as to share the secrets with a lower level member of the Order I would be playing with fire."
"Fine, I tell you what happened, then you can decide for yourself." I say uncertainly.
I stifle on some of the words of my story as I tell him the whole awful tale, all the while holding back my tears hoping he'll know what to do. By the time I'm finished I feel like the slightest breeze could shatter me into a thousand pieces and I find myself haunted by the eyes of the small innocent little puppy once more.
Alex hasn't said one word since I started the story, which is making me worry more and more by the second. "Alex. I-I'm so scared." I say feebly.
The unreadable expression leave's his face and a sadness take's its place. "Oh, Liz." He says sorrowfully. My eyes blur with tears and I feel his arms wrap around me into a comforting cuddle.
"Liz, come on, remember your training, you're stronger than this, I know it for a fact!" I feel his hand rubbing up and down my back as he continues. "Don't let your emotions overwhelm you Liz, you'll drown in them with this much grief, distance yourself from them and yet still feel them there."
Following his basic instructions I start to gain control over myself again and give him a thankful smile.
"Liz, I have an idea I want to try, to find out the extent of what's happened to you? Are you game to try it?" He asks hopefully.
Giving him a confirming nod he draws me up from the couch with him and leads us down to the cellar that I've set up to by my ritual sacred space.
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Sitting comfortably on the floor in the center of the room I continue to listen to Alex's instructions.
"Kay, Liz, something's happened to you, and neither of us know the extent of it. The only thing we know for certain is that your senses are heightened and that you might have a more keened sixth sense now than you did before." Lighting a candle and placing it before me while burning some incense to a Cinder, I think I understand already what it is he has planned.
"What I want you to do first is learn how to control these powers you know you have, so that any loud sound or bright light won't cripple you instantly. Just go into a trance like you would for a Tattwa vision Liz, but instead of going to another plane of existence, go within the recesses of your own mind and find whatever it is this Serena has put in there. You life-force has increased considerably by her adding to it, but I believe she has added more than just raw power and a vampiric lifestyle." He says almost jokingly, but I don't find it funny in the least.
Sighing he goes over to the over side of the room to give me space as I start my breathing exercise. As I clear my mind of thought only one thing creeps in and that is how easy all this suddenly seems, slowing down my breathing rate and heartbeat normally takes 10 or 20 minutes, but it has leveled off to the right amount with seconds and before I know it I have fallen back within my mind, lost in its obscurity.
I search blindly for anything in my subconscious that I have never felt there before and end up getting drawn to something in one of the very most darkness corners that seems to be almost beckoning me. The closer I get the more fear floods through me, but yet I am unable to turn back the way I came, like getting tangled in some web the more I struggle the tighter I seem to get caught.
Then it strikes and my worse fears ignite at feeling the hostile charge towards me. The atmosphere starts to feel like it's crashing down on me, suffocating my very essence. A powerful darkness grabs and tugs at my nonexistent limbs, pulling me down and down all the while I try to claw my way to freedom from it. Fighting doesn't seem to help, it only slows the process, and the more I fight the weaker and weaker I become.
Then the pain comes.
I try to scream.
As the darkness devours me...
But it does no good.
Deeper and deeper I go,
Till I find myself trapped
In a place where no light falls. ~
My eye's snap open and dart around the room I'm in looking at everything. Something's different about me, but I'm not sure what, I don't even really care what. I rise from my sitting position in one graceful motion, as a voice from the other side of the room gets my attention I turn in that direct quickly.
It stands there expecting me to answer some question I didn't even hear. A wicked grin goes across my face as I slowly stalk my way towards it with predatory poise, my tongue involuntary licking my lips in anticipation.
"Liz? Liz. I asked if you are all right?" Alex asks with concern.
The stench of fear reeks from him and my mouth waters at the thought of tasting his blood flow down my throat. I stop a few feet away from him when something cry's out from deep within me not to do this. Ignoring the feeling I keep going forward until the screaming sensation within my head builds to such a fury I can't stand it anymore.
'This one is not for feeding.' The thought seems to pop out of my head from nowhere and I don't understand from whence it came, but from the moment of hearing it, it seems to make perfect sense. 'Alex, his name is Alex' I realise 'I know this one somehow, but I, just can't, remember.'
I scowl at not being able to recall all the details, but realise it doesn't matter either way, I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep. 'Serena, I must do what Serena asked of me.' Is the only thing that seems clear in the giant mess of memory I have.
"I have to go now Alex." I say not so much as blinking as I look at him. The dread pours off of him, which only makes me smile more, not a kind smile though, the kind of smile that causes him even more apprehension.
"W-what? Liz, what do mean? Go where?" He asks scared and confused as I stalk further towards him.
"My seat at the high council calls to me, I must go and claim it as the new leader before any other Kindred do." I say simply as if it was the most plainest thing for everyone to see.
"Liz what are you talking about? Why do you sound like that? What are you."
He doesn't get a chance to finish his incessant questioning as I strike out with unnatural speed and slam his head against the wall. I hear his skull crack upon impact with the stone, a small trickle of blood is smeared down the wall as he slides down to the floor in a crumpled heap.
I try to ignore my worry over the fact I miss judged my own strength when slamming his head, I'm even more surprised when relief fills me upon seeing the steady rise and fall of his chest and I realise he'll live.
Turning around and heading up the staircase I leave his body lying there.
'And now the Hunt truly begins, God have mercy upon any who oppose me, because I certainly won't.'
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[b]Background information on part4[/b]
Alex, in one part of the story refers to 'the categories,' of vampires. Those descriptions of 'phantom' or 'spiritual' vampire's are in fact not part of the 'Vampire Masquerade' or taken from my imagination. They are in fact from a book called 'Vampires: The Occult Truth' by Konstantinos. According to the back cover that I am now quoting from the guy 'lives in New York, has studied the occult for almost ten years, and has helped several victims of psychic-vampire attacks. He is also the author of 'Summoning Spirits: The Art of Magical Evocation', etc, etc. (Don't look at me, I have no idea if his crazy or not!?! Your guess as good as mine, damn cool book cover though.)