15 (more or less) Ways to Seduce… Ginny Weasley
By Arianaviolet
Disclaimers: Harry Potter and other subsequent characters, they belong to J.K.Rowling and WarnerBros. (Unless you kidnap them, hee, hee), also I don't own Lucifera, she belongs to Sukkumbus (All hail, Sukkumbus, bows down). I don't own the Casteel series by V.C. Andrews, or do I own Great Teacher Onizuka, or Will and Grace, other lucky people own them and all those seen above, wow writing this disclaimer is quite exhausting, bet it makes you doubt if I own anything, well I do happen to own something, I own this story and the made up characters, pats herself on the back, even though a message from a cute guy would be better.
Prologue: The List
Jared Valdez, a 6th year Ravenclaw walked into the Great Hall. It was the students first day back from the summer holidays and the sorting was about to begin.
His eyes scanned the Gryffindor table as he made his way to his table to sit with his friends. His eyes were searching for a sign of red hair which could only belong to Ginny Weasley due to the fact that her brother Ron was still out in the hallway being yelled at by Professor Snape. It seemed to Jared that Snape had quite the temper for Gryffindor students who were tardy, or perhaps was it something else, he wasn't sure. He frowned slightly.
He took his seat at the Ravenclaw table and waited for the sorting to begin. A few minutes later Ron finally came into the Great Hall, mumbling quite angrily about a certain someone being a greasy haired git. Professor Snape shot him a menacing look, give him a month worth of detentions and took more house points on behalf of Gryffindor.
Jared rolled his eyes at the scene he was watching, Ron was quite dim, it was a wonder he didn't end up in Hufflepuff, he thought to himself. He turned his attention to Ginny. Who seemed to be having conservation with Harry Potter; actually it seemed that Harry was doing all the talking and that Ginny was trying hard to appear as if she was listening. Harry must be talking about Quidditch then, he guessed.
He began to look puzzled, why are there only two members of the Dream Team seating at the Gryffindor table where was the brains of their operation? He looked around. Oh there she is, she had been seating beside Ron and Harry this whole time. He didn't see the bushy haired know-it-all because she was hiding behind a book as usual.
The sorting began and Jared turned his attention to the new students. He could see the terror in their eyes as they begin to wonder what fate has in store for them. They will soon join one of the tables after they find out which house they have been sorted into: Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, or Ravenclaw.
The sorting was over and the first years approached their tables. Jared handed each and every unsuspecting first year Ravenclaw an Acid Pop, they greeted him with bright, happy smiles as they took the candy. He did everything he could to keep himself from laughing, he had a lot of trouble keeping a straight face, receiving some glares and looks of amusement from his housemates. You know what they say it is good to be bad or was it bad to be good. It wasn't like they were doing anything to stop him from doing it.
The Grey lady hovered beside him. Tsk tsking as she looked at him as if he had gone insane, he ignored her, what did she know, she was a ghost for Merlin's sake.
"Poor dear, seems to be looking for trouble" he heard the gray lady mutter she was looking at him sympathetically. "With a nutter for a father, it's no wonder why he's seeking attention."
Jared glared at the grey lady, he hoped that no had heard her, he never liked her, if someone was a nutter she was, she choose to be a ghost, instead of dying like any decent person would, any person who met her must have been very tempted to take her life, he knows he would, she annoyed the living daylights out of him.
He looked around the room; everyone seemed to be whispering about something. They were all looking at the staff table. He recognized someone at the table, Lucifera Cimmerian, a Slytherin who graduated last year. She was sitting in the DADA teacher's chair, which seemed odd because Snape looked unusually calm, and everyone knew that Snape wants the DADA position. However, each year that position was taken by someone else. But there had been rumors that Lucifera and Snape were intimate; they had a lot in common, especially for a student and teacher. But Jared never really listened to rumors until now, because what was most peculiar about the scene in front of him was that Lucifera was holding a baby, a baby that looked at lot like Snape. In fact the baby was mini Snape. Jared shuddered, another Snape in the school-this was too much.
Dumbledore stood up to give his usual annual speech, which would have the usual bit of oddness in them as a bonus.
"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I have a few things to say to you all, first I would like to address that students giving out harmful candy will be punished" he said eyeing Jared, a couple of students from surrounding tables smirked, partially Gryffindor and Slytherin, Hufflepuff just looked confused.. Jared saw Snape looking at the professors at the head table. Strange, Snape was looking puzzled like he has no idea who the DADA professor is; the DADA professor was sitting right next to him. Jared raised an eyebrow at the potions master odd behavior, poor Snape, Jared shook his head sadly must be under a lot a stress to miss what's right in front of him or in this case beside him.
"First I would like to address that we have a new professor for our Life like Expressions class, which was just added last year, for those of you who are not familiar with it, please ask the head of your house, first years you will notice that you are to have that course on your timetables, without further ado, I present to you Professor, Stuart Penny" A man in his mid twenties stood up to greet the students, everyone just stared at him, Professor Penny looked awkwardly around, gave a nervous smile and sat down, looking quite uncomfortable. Dumbledore continued on.
"As I'm sure our older students are used to, we are following our yearly pattern of new Defense against Dark Arts teachers."
This got laughs.
"And the Dark Art's room has been moved, because the new professor is going to be doing a lot more practical work with you, instead of just desk work."
This got cheers.
"I'd like you to warmly welcome your new DADA Professor, Lucifera Cimmerian!"
The Slytherin table thundered with applause as the other tables sat in stunned silence. An old student. Well, not that old a student, after all, she was a student just three months ago, was now their teacher?
Blimey. Thought Jared
The tables joined in their applause.
Professor Penny glared at Professor Cimmerian, she smirked at him. He shot her a look of contempt, and went back to staring at his food; they were supposed to like him, not her, he was cool and trendy and a lot of fun; she was just freakish and scary. He couldn't help but mutter "Bitch."
Blinking a few times and shaking off his shock, Snape's sable eyes traveled slowly to Lucifera's cerulean ones. He looked ready to kill. She smiled back sheepishly and began sucking on her piercing.
"You little –"
"Minerva?" Lucifera called, craning her head, sounding slightly panicked.
"– Kniving, double-crossing –"
"Yes?"
"Can we switch spots?"
Minerva glanced at the young girl who looked like she was about to be murdered by the Potions Master and shook her head.
Jared looked puzzled; he had never seen a professor angry like that before, even for Snape. But everyone looked away from the scene in front of them, leaving poor Lucifera without a witness. They proceeded to eat their dinner which consisted of shepherd pie, roasted chicken, jacket potatoes, and trifle for dessert.
His thoughts turned from the professors to himself. He needed a way to get Ginny Weasley to fancy him, he decided he would have to seek his best friend Adrian's advice; he was good at this sort of thing.
He grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill and wrote at the top '15 (more or less) ways to seduce Ginny Weasley.' He passed the parchment and quill to Adrian, who paused to look at it, and after a few seconds he began to write. Jared turned his attention to the other students in the Great Hall.
Adrian finished writing the list; he folded it and put it aside, deciding that he would give it to Jared later. He seemed occupied at the moment, and so proceeded to eat. What he didn't notice was that the parchment had fallen off the table and onto the floor and that someone had picked it up. A certain bushy haired someone in fact.
Hermione glanced at the parchment she had picked up from the ground. She scanned the list further and made a face; it seemed to her that whoever had made this list had a very disgusting mind, probably someone from Slytherin. This would be the type of thing they would do. She debated against telling Ron about this it would only make him angry and they couldn't sacrifice any more House points today. She came up with an idea. She grabbed a piece of parchment and one of her good feather quills, she decided to change the list quite a bit, she copied down the title of the other parchment, trying her best to forge the writing from the other parchment. Once she finished writing the new version of the list, she folded it and placed it back where she found it.
Dinner was over and the students and members of the staff headed out to their houses, ready to start off another year of learning and teaching. Adrian got up and looked around for the parchment he had placed on the table while he was eating. He found it on the floor and he breathed a sigh of relief; imagine what would happen if the list were in the wrong hands. He looked around the empty room, and then ran out to catch up with his best friend Jared who was outside the Great Hall being terrorized by Snape for handing out Acid Pops to first years.
A.N. That was the end of the prologue, must go write Chapter One, begins to look for parchment and something to write with then remembers, she's just some stupid muggle without any cool magical powers, begins to sob as she walks over to the computer, she gives the computer a look of disgust, where was a quick quotes quill when you need one, she begins to type the title of the next chapter. Dre… All of a sudden, someone burst into the room, the author turns around to look at someone dressed in wizard robes, Magic is real she thought to herself, Yah! Oh wait that is just one of my character, she sighs, and asks the light brown hair girl, what she wants.
"What I want, I'll tell you want I want, I want to know why I'm not in the story?" she asked in a very demanding tone.
"Well, you see, you are in the story, it's just that the readers…" the author doesn't finish, because, she has been knocked unconscious, by a fictional wand.
The Author is tied up and gagged and stuffed in a closet under the stairs, like Harry Potter, cool, wait weren't their spiders in the cupboard, not cool.
Kidnapper begins to write a ransom note, and shows it to the readers, the readers read out loud, and rushes to the review button, here's what it says:
I have kidnapped the muggle, and if you want her back you must review.
15 reviews allows a hero to come to her rescue
20 reviews allows the hero to actually save her.
25 reviews allows the author to finish the next chapter and put it up.
That's the end of the Ransom note.
Lets check on our Hero
Jared Valdez is impatiently pacing the halls of Hogwarts, waiting to be written, he goes off stage and apparates in his muggle cousin's home, he sneaks into the living room and sits down on the couch with a coke (the kind you drink) and some popcorn, he stares at the Tele, and begins to cheer and laugh, after five minutes, he quiets down, he begins to wonder why muggles find staring into a black box is fun, someone walks over to the Tele and switches it on, shaking their head as they leave.
Jared laughs embarrassedly, and resumes watching TV, a few minutes later, he switches the tv off and goes off to the library to read a book.