title- Subconscious War

author- Sanit Une/Evil Une

author's note- yet another spur of the moment fic that just popped into my head.

It's funny how the feelings of Love and Hate are intertwined with each other. Seeing the things that I saw and done during the war justifies this. My Love for freedom and giving it back to those who needed justified my reason to fight. However, somewhere along the lines I lost focus of what I was fighting for; therefore, I was easily led astray, and taken advantage of...which led to my feelings of Hate, or vengeance as some may call it.

The only place where these feelings are enhanced and twisted is in your dreams; or as some may call it, your subconscious mind. Now every soldier, general, and civilian has dreams and nightmares...some more so than others; nevertheless, everyone dreams when they sleep. However, for those whom have lived and survived the war become haunted by those they killed or the memories of a hard and horrendous life.

How do you avoid these nightmares? Well, you don't. You can do anything to stop them; but, they will keep coming back. You can stay up all night. You can drink your nightmares away, or you can pretend like they don't exist. The problem with all these things is that you never face or acknowledge these nightmares. You can't avoid these dreams, and if you try, they'll only get progressively worse, and you'll loose your sanity over it...believe me I know.

How do you deal with it? You don't. You just go on with your life, and try to deal with the nightmares and hauntings, without loosing your mind.

Easy; you say? I beg to differ. Everything is easier said then done...I know.

So, what can you do? Well, nothing really. There is no cure to avoid these nightmares until Death comes to claim your soul. Death is the only real cure...which is why most of us end up committing suicide. The realization that you have to go on living out your life, knowing that you killed thousands of people without a second thought, really gets to you. It eats away at your mind, until there is nothing left, but to die.

How do you prevent this? You can't. War is apart of living; just like love and hate. You love your friends and lovers, and you hate your enemies and those you wish to kill you. You see, love and hate are both the cause and solution to this. The hate that burns inside the conscious mind causes people to annihilate their enemies, which inveitibly leads to war. The feeling of vengeance just prolongs the hate and blows the war out of proportion.

Where's the love come in? It comes before, during and after war. Love is always there, it'll never leave...though you may think it does; but, it doesn't. I know.

The love you feel towards a person can either strengthen or weaken the mind...but it does both. Love pulls you out of the darkness that is hatred, and war, and brings you into its warmth and protection. However, if that person is killed then it causes the mind to fall in a downward spiral, causing temporary insanity, or worse yet, more war.

Watching and learning this first hand gives wisdom to the soldier; however, it also gives wisdom to the civilians. Everyone was once a civilian, until they lost something, or someone, then became a soldier to find themselves, or justify their vengeance.

The mind is truly a complex, yet simple thing to understand. However, some lessons are best learned the hard way...that is what second chances are for. Coming out of a war alive is your second chance to life and love. If it is passed up, then you loose out on the one thing every human needs to survive in this world...love. And loosing that inveitibly leads to insanity and death. I truly pity those whom decide to avoid the lessons taught by war. For it is them whom become subjected to the mercy of their own dreams and nightmares.

War is a nightmare; a reoccuring nightmare that must be acknowledged and dealt with, before it drives humanity to an early grave.