Monica's Diary ~* Part IX *~
Author's Note: This is the ninth, and final, part of my Diary series. I'm going to really miss making you guys wait for the next part...and the next part...and...well... you know the drill...Okie dokie! Before I bore you to death...here it is!!
"And that, my friend, is what they call, 'closure'."
Hey...do you ever wonder who 'they' actually is?
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[From October 1st, 11:00 PM]
"Anyone who would want to hurt you, never realized they had the perfect woman right in front of them all along."
Our lips met in a kiss.
It was amazing. It was exactly like my first kiss with Greg, except…
It wasn't like it at all. It was everything that is supposed to be in a first kiss. And then some. I don't even know why I did it, but it just felt right, you know? Like something just…
Fit. Like pieces of a puzzle. I just needed that final one, and all the confusion was over. No more sorting through the box to find a bunch of useless matches, when one just connected itself. You weren't even sure if it would work, but it did, and you just realized that you made one of the most important decisions you can make. You solved the riddle. Only this time, it was the riddle that is more commonly known as love.
We kissed for a long time. Neither of us even bothered to move, or do anything. He didn't try to touch me, or anything. The only thing that connected us were our lips. Only, it was enough to make my entire body warm up. This was how I had imagined my first kiss to be. Instead, I got stuck with Greg. Greg, with his 'experience' and wanting to move everything a step further on the first go. He thought, since he had kissed so many other girls before me, that he'd be able to kiss me like we had been dating for months. He scared me. It's funny, though, that I hadn't done anything with anyone other than Greg. It's nice to finally be able to at least share something with someone else. He's not someone I'd like to remember. But, since I lost my virginity to him…
Well, I should technically say, he found it…
He's going to be a part of my life. And he's the reason that I'm where I am now. I know I might be a little more secure and confident about myself if I hadn't been with him, but then I also know, that if my past had changed, I wouldn't have met Chandler. There's still the chance I might've, but it's really slim odds, you know? Maybe I do owe him something after all. Like, a life sentence instead of execution, or something like that. I mean, I'm still going to make him pay for what he did, but maybe not under such harsh circumstances. I went immediately to the police station and reported him, within the first couple of hours, actually. Maybe a little more closure is in order.
October 3rd. 11:00 AM
I decided to sit everyone down today, and explain some stuff. Since I already transcribed a very long conversation I had with Chandler, I'm not going to go into detail on this one.
Basically, everyone got a little weird when I made them all sit down, and got up in the front of the room.
"I have some explaining to do…" I said.
I pretty much told them everything. The six of them just sat there, looking intently at me as I talked to them. Just as Chandler had, only their mouths were wider open, and Chandler didn't have any kind of shocked expression on his face, he knew already. He was kind of, silently encouraging me. Each and every one of them got up and gave me a hug, one a t a time, after I was done talking. I didn't cry then, either. I'm just glad that I have such supportive friends. None of them blamed me, even a tiny bit. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Phoebe claimed she had something to do with what Kip had done, and Ross was angry with himself for 'not being there'. But I knew they didn't do anything wrong. They were just…misinformed. I felt a huge amount of weight leave my chest that moment. All the lying and the secrets are finally over.
October 5th, 3:00 PM
The hearing was today. I'm so glad that I have a great lawyer, who got me the initial hearing only ten days after the incident. His name is Joseph Stenton, AAL. I owe him big time.
And of course, everyone went with me, and I saw TB again. He was wearing the same clothes he was wearing before, only dirtier. He still hadn't shaved, and he had such a sneer on his face. But he had the traces of a black eye (aha…ahahahahaha!) and he limped as he walked. I was so proud of myself. You have no idea how happy I was when I saw his face. He hated me, and it felt wonderful. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to be glad that he suffered…
But I don't care! A woo hoo! I kicked his ass!
Okay, now that I got that out of my system…
Courteney sat to the left of me; Chandler to my right. It couldn't have felt more perfect. They each took one of my hands as we listened to Greg's lawyer speak. And it's pretty funny, because they both squeezed my hand at the same time. Courteney and the girls kept turning around and asking me if I was okay, and Chandler kept asking me if I needed something to throw at him. Greg's lawyer kept looking at me funny, when I laughed at another of Chandler's jokes, because Greg was speaking, and apparently what he was saying wasn't very funny. I hardly paid any attention. But it serves him right. I just don't listen to him anymore. I've learned how to tune it out, and there's no going back on that one.
Oh, by the by…
Chandler's going to take me out for dinner tonight, y'know, to celebrate. But just us.
I'm not even remotely nervous. We've been out to dinner dozens of times. It's just now… He has privileges. But I trust him. So much. I just know he won't hurt me. I know him too well to think that he'd do anything like that. But I have to spend some time preparing so…I'm going out with the girls for our own celebration. The three of them all chipped in to pay to get me an entirely new outfit. I told them about Chandler, so, naturally, they're going to teach me everything that I'm supposed to know by now. You'd think, being that I was married for three years, that I'd know a thing or two about dating.
But they're right. I really, really don't.
The date is at eight tonight, so I have to go, like, now.
9:00 PM
Chandler is such a gentleman. He picked me up, with a single rose. And then we went out to dinner. It was one of the most pleasant evenings I've spent with anyone. You know, it wasn't too different than when we went out together before we started dating. I didn't feel pressured at all.
Plus, the dating rules really don't apply here. I already know so much about him, so there's no awkwardness. And then, the second date rule is out of the window, too. Along with Greg, whom I should have pushed out of the window when I saw him in the first place. Anyway…I don't have to learn anything about him, so there's no second date questioning, either. And that takes almost all of the pressure off of me.
We discussed the 'third date' thing. He's totally all right with waiting as long as I need. He was actually okay with not doing it at all. Which makes it all the much more wonderful to be with him. I never have to worry about what's going on in his head. I'm sure, most guys are thinking…
'Will tonight be the night?'
Well, Chandler's not thinking that. In his head, it's more like… 'Is she having a good time? Am I making her uncomfortable? Should I hold her hand yet?'
He's just so considerate of me. And I know, you're sick of me going on and on about him, but every aspect of him…
There are so many things to say about him, you know?
Words don't seem to work anymore. I need to just show you. Or something. I'm not sure.
All right. I got it.
Picture the most gorgeous guy you've ever known, add a perfect personality, an awesome friendship, and then the fact that he likes you, too. Now…
Multiply that by a hundred million.
You're halfway there.
October 10th, 10:00 PM
Chandler just brought me back from our sixth date. We've only been going out for, what, a week? And I have never been so comfortable being with someone, ever. I'm totally ready for anything. I want him to treat me as he would any of his other girlfriends.
Except, I want him to be my friend in spite of all of that.
He's kept everything to just chaste kisses. He doesn't care that we're moving slow. And he's so sweet about it. Okay, okay. I'm going to just…not talk about him for a while. Hmm, what else did I do today?
I had breakfast at Central Perk. And it was hilarious. Phoebe was playing her songs, and we were giggling because her lyrics were so weird. She started singing a song about being in the shower… a song about cows … and my personal favorite. The one about the cat.
Smelly cat, smelly cat
What are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat
It's not your fault!
And to top it all off…
Joey was hitting on Courteney.
I love to watch him flirt. Because, he's so good at it. But I never expected him to go for Cee. That actually surprised me.
Of course, he used his classic line…
"How you doin'?" and that cracks me up, but he kept looking at her in that odd sort of way, and it made me laugh, because I had an idea of what was going on inside of his head. As usual, it was perverted, but still funny. And Cee…
She was flirting back!
She was laughing, and blushing. And then she did the 'arm thing'. I know about the 'arm thing', because it was something the girls taught me during my 'Dating 101' class, as they called it. They said that it was a distinct sign of flirting. You know, where you playfully push your arm at them, going "oh, stop it!" and giggling furiously. Trust me, it was classic.
I caught Rachel's eye, and we burst into laughter.
I don't know why, but I was really giggly today. Even during my date with Chandler. We kept talking about this morning during the date, and I nearly spit wine on this woman at the table next to me, when he brought up what Ross did later. Him, being the usual sad paleontologist that he is, came in mumbling about something at the museum that was out of place.
I wasn't even listening, because Phoebe was still singing, off key, at the top of her lungs…
And Chandler was catching my eye and winking obviously at me…
And Courteney and Joey were flirting left and right…
Plus, Rachel and I were making kissy faces at the two, and laughing out loud…
Ross got really confused, and then, when he noticed he was rambling and whining, and no one was paying attention, he just sort of stared at us, and then turned around and left the coffeehouse, in that silly little way that he does.
We all stopped what we were doing and watched him leave, then laughed some more.
I don't think there was a single time that day, until now, that I thought of anything that had gone wrong in my life. When I'm with my friends, all my troubles just kind of…float away.
I like to be able to just laugh every once in a while. It's healthy. Did you know that?
October 14th, 10:23 AM
I had my thirteenth date yesterday. It was the best evening. Ever. Period.
I wore my little black dress. It was spaghetti strapped and very flattering to my figure. Plus, I wore silver jewelry, and pulled my hair halfway up in a thin silver clip. I had on a necklace with my birthstone in a very small crescent moon shape. It was beautiful. Plus, my shoes were high heeled, and they had thin straps on them, so they made my legs look extra good. Not that they needed anything, of course.
This time… he picked me up, with a dozen roses in hand. I put them in water before we left, and he took my elbow out to the car.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"You'll see."
Ooh. I love surprises. We ended up going to a nice restaurant, but it was a little less formal than the ones we usually went to. It was fairly calm, but there was a wooden dance floor in the middle of all the tables.
The maitre' d seated us quickly, and we ordered and ate, just as we always did. We had discussions about anything…and everything. And I was having such a great time. The music's tempo changed to a slow song, and Chandler stood up.
"Would you like to dance?" He asked me, holding out his hand.
"I would love to." He helped me up, and kissed my hand as we walked out to the floor. He held me close as we danced, just slowly rocking back and forth. We were hardly even moving, but I didn't notice. I really liked the thoughts that went through my head as we swayed to the rhythm. One in particular stood out.
Maybe life isn't as bad as it seems.
The song that played then, replayed in my mind for a long time after that. I looked up at him, from where we were standing, and kissed him again. I didn't bother to wait. We stood and kissed, right there, in the middle of the floor. The people around me didn't matter any more. I was with him, and that is how it should be. I'll never forget that song. That moment.
wise men say
only fools rush in
but I can't help
falling in love with you
shall I stay
would it be a sin
if I can't help
falling in love with you
like the river flows
surely to the sea
darling so it goes
some things are meant to be
take my hand
take my whole life too
for I can't help
falling in love with you…
You want to hear something amazing?
Chandler and I made love last night.
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Whee! And that's it! I will do an epilogue...but only if you request it!! So...review! Your input could change whether or not I post any more! I'm putting a lot of exclamation points! Brava to me!