Monica's Diary ~*Epilogue*~
Author's Note: Well...here it is, you guys! This is it...I hope you're prepared...*sigh* I am SOO going to miss writing this one....but it's so well worth the ending! Thanks so much for putting up with me!
This is SUCH a great day...cause guess what else??? I got the part of the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland!! This play that's going on downtown!! A WOO HOO!! Okay...not like you care, anyway...here goes...enjoy the epilogue! It's really over, I know...*sniff*
"This...this can't be it..."
"Then, how come it is?"
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May 23rd, 11:00 PM
How long was this thing missing? It's been under my bed, gathering dust, for nearly…
Two years! I looked everywhere for it for a long time! Man, so much has happened since then. I'm practically a different person!
Well, not totally different. I still write pretty much the same. I actually didn't write in any sort of diary after my last entry here. I was reading through everything I wrote. I was so bitter then. And untrustworthy, and doubtful, and a bunch of other dark and evil things. Wow, I haven't written since two Octobers ago, when Chandler and I first slept together. I remember that day so clearly. Pretty much, like it was yesterday. There's cliché for ya.
As you can probably gather from the dates, I'm twenty nine in a little less than a month, and I'm as happy as I think I'll ever be.
I guess, I should fill you in, or something. I forgot how I used to write to my diary. I think it was in 2nd person? Who knows. I guess I'll write how I feel. I'm only in the last few pages, so I suppose this is going to be my last entry. I'll miss this, but I'll keep it always.
First of all, Grommit is getting so old! He's practically a fully fledged adult. Which is good. I don't really have to clean up after him. Speaking of cleaning up… Greg is in a correctional facility in Idaho. I mean, Idaho?! When did the New York State Jury get a sense of humor? He's gone. And when I mean gone, I mean, gone. There's security watching him when he showers, for crying out loud. And I don't know, or care for that matter, what happened to Kip. In fact, I don't even remember what he looks like. But I don't want to, thanks. Hmm, what next…?
Right!
Chandler and I got married today. In fact, that's how I found this. I was looking for…um…something…under the bed, to pack it for our honeymoon, when I pulled it out. Of course, I don't know if I'll let Chandler read it. It has a lot of stuff about him in it. I remember that night in October. He was such a romantic.
We're going to the Caribbean on our honeymoon. On this tropical beach. It looks perfect. A week of sun and sex and love and celebration. But mostly sex. Well, you'll have to ask Chandler. He's going to do most of the itinerary while we're there. I'm going to take a break from planning and organizing for a while…
Oh, who am I kidding? I've done the entire thing so far. But what makes it so wonderful, is that I'm going to be spending it with my husband.
Hey, that's the first time I've put 'wonderful' and 'husband' in the same sentence.
Anyway, our wedding was beautiful. It took me forever to get the seating chart for the reception finished. I had to get all of my friends into one table, and then their families had to have their own, as well. And I didn't want to put any people next to people that they didn't like, and then I tried (and failed) to put the names in alphabetical order. It was a nightmare. Chandler had to keep me from hyperventilating, by kissing me every five minutes or so. Of course, half the time, I was faking it just so he would kiss me, but that's beside the point!
The rehearsal dinner was horrid. The food that was brought made us all really thirsty, so we ran out of drinks, and had to resort to drinking some of the alcohol that was being saved for the wedding. I could have sworn someone put curry powder on the salmon. It was so gross. People were getting drunk left and right. We ended up escorting Ross out of the hall because he kept singing Phoebe's 'Little Black Curly Hair'. And Phoebe was singing along, too. It was quite a headache, but we managed. And of course, it worked out at the actual ceremony, so I didn't have to go psycho on anyone.
We had the wedding in the church where my parents were married. There were two seats up in the front row, with velvet ribbons over them, and a dozen black-magic roses on each place. Ross almost cried. I was so close. You see, when our parents were alive, Ross would make a toast at their anniversary, and he always made us all cry. And I was determined to get him back, but sadly, I failed. I did, though, manage to find something that brightened my day. Besides the wedding, of course.
Ross had a very unusual date. And she drove us all crazy, but him most of all.
I don't know if I mentioned her before.
Well, if I hadn't, her name is Janice. And Ross seems to keep getting stuck with her. No matter how many times he tries to get rid of her, she ends up falling back into his arms. None of the rest of us understand how he ended up with her in the first place. But it's hilarious to watch him with her.
All of the girls were my bridesmaids, and I had decided that Courteney would be my maid of honor. It was so hard to choose, but they all got to be in it, so they were happy.
It was probably an hour before the ceremony, when the panic attack hit. Of course, you should have seen it coming. I mean, look how my last marriage turned out. But I'm fairly comfortable with talking about it now. I still hurt every once in a while, but it's only memory, sort of a silhouette of past pain. Well, I ended up nearly passing out, and slid down the wall in my dressing room, when Rachel, Courteney, and Phoebe filed in. It was quite a sight for the slightly conscious mind.
"Monica, are you allright?" The three of them spoke in unison. I shook my head, and Courteney came over to feel my head. The other two sat next to me, and took my hands.
"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Rachel asked.
"I'm not ready to get married!" I tilted my head back, and hit it against the wall. Multiple times, from what I remember of the bruises.
"But why? Why would you say that now? You're so close!" Phoebe told me, pulling my head away from the wall.
"Well, look at my last marriage! That was Greg! I don't want another Greg in my life! What if Chandler does what he did? I think I might just give everyone up and just live in a hole somewhere. Or I'd commit suicide. I don't want him to be a horrible husband. And so if I don't want a horrible husband, then I don't want to risk getting one."
"Honey, let me ask you something. Do you love Chandler?"
I nodded and sniffed, tears welling up in my eyes. "Yes. With all my heart."
"Then what are you waiting for?!" Courteney said, standing up, while the others helped pull me up with her. "You know, and I know, and Phoebe knows, and Rachel knows, that Chandler would never do anything like that to you. Not in a million years. Now, go get married!"
And with that, she slapped me on the butt. It wasn't exactly the encouragement I was expecting, but it still made me feel better about everything. I want to be married. Even if it means that I'm taking the biggest chance of my life.
So, I took the leap.
"Allright. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go get married."
It finally clicked with Phoebe.
"Oh my God! You're gonna get married!" She and Rachel started to cry, and pulled me into a hug. Courteney, being practically my twin, clapped her hands twice to get our attention.
"Hey, you guys, it's going to start soon, lets move!"
I heard the music beginning, and we all went into the side wings to the main hall. This was it.
I saw Courteney step into the lights of the hall, and I immediately glanced at the sparkle on her left hand.
The sparkle she had mentioned hundreds of times before.
Her engagement ring.
You could have seen that puppy from space.
Of course, I'd have to say, her fiancé definitely would have afforded it easily.
He's one of the wealthiest business owners…
In California.
He's actually Chandler's best man, so he and Cee got to go down together.
Courteney walked very slowly to the center aisle, turned to me, and winked.
She smiled her little smile…
And took Matthew's elbow towards the priest.
Rachel and Phoebe both went out together, on either side of Joey, who was all too enthusiastic. He had his silly little grin the whole way down. I knew he did. Joey will never change. But that's what I love about him.
I asked Ross, a very long time ago, if he would walk me down the aisle at my wedding. In fact, it was about a week after Mom and Dad died, that I asked. He thought it was awfully weird, but now, I don't think he feels the same way. I took his hand when we walked down, as a little sister would do to her big brother when she was scared.
This was one of those moments. But then,
I looked at Chandler, standing up
there, and he was smiling at me. And I
saw his eyes. His wonderful, gorgeous
blue eyes, and I saw it. The only thing that I've
ever wanted from him, or any other guy.
Love.
A love so whole, and honest, and pure, that it would be impossible for me not to trust him. He's my life; my world. I'd never make it without him.
The ceremony itself was pretty much what you'd normally see in a wedding: Words, vows, promises, rings, and the blessing.
I'll never forget those vows. We did them last. He looked at me when he spoke, and he was honest and wonderful.
"Monica, the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were the one. Something happened that day, that drew me to you. I don't know how, and I don't know why. All I know, is that now that I'm here today, with you, I don't want to see it any other way. The future that I see for us, is more perfect than I ever imagined that it could be. Words don't even begin to describe how much I love you, and I want you to know that I'm willing to do anything, say anything, and sacrifice anything, as long as you are with me, always."
"Chandler, you know all about what has happened to me in the past. Bad experiences had led me to believe that I was incapable of loving someone. But I hadn't met you. All I had to do was look at you to see just what I had been missing out on. You are my forever, my always, and my only. Someone once told me, the greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return. You showed me that. I hardly knew anything about you when we met, but from that very instant that I looked into your perfect eyes, I knew… that you were all I ever thought I'd need, and all I ever know I will."
The priest announced to the congregation. "And now, by the powers vested in me by the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, I now pronounce you man and wife."
We kissed.
I felt like I was in some sort of fairy tale, or something. These things only happened in stories that I thought up in my head. It never occurred to me that this happened to actual people, let alone, me.
I remember that night that Chandler proposed to me. It was the most romantic thing. He took me upstairs one night, to the roof, while it was raining. Just last spring. He set his CD player under the overhang by the door, and played one of my favorite songs.
the finer things keep shining through
the way my soul gets lost in you
the finer things are feelin' me
the golden dance life could be
Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness…
Never danced in the rain.
The song switched, to our song. The one they played that night. Our first night…together. I Can't Help Falling In Love With You, by Elvis Presley.
And I saw him get down on one knee.
And I heard him ask me the one question that I'll remember always.
And I saw his eyes.
"Monica, will you marry me?"
Well, of course I said yes. After being drawn in by those eyes, like I had so many times before, I couldn't have said no. I leapt into his arms, and we kissed, like we had so many times before.
I'll never look at rain the same way again.
The reception was less formal, but it was still organized. I mean, let's face it, I was in charge. It took me forever to be able to get our table set up properly. Because everyone wanted to sit by certain people. Rachel and Phoebe wanted to sit together, Joey wanted to be next to the table where some of my attractive co-workers were sitting, and plus, I had to try and get me and Chandler by Cee and Matt, but Matt wanted to sit by her. I got really confused, and just put them across from us. And to top it all off, Ross was hovering over my shoulder while I was making the chart. He wanted to sit by Rachel, even though there wouldn't be any place for Janice.
You know, you'd think he was in love.
We took photographs at the altar before we left for the reception. It wasn't the most wonderful occasion. We nearly had to kick someone out because someone and their fiancé kept making out when we weren't taking pictures. I felt like I was in high school again, except, it was better, because now, I was part of the picture.
Not just the silly fat girl on the sidelines.
I couldn't blame them, though. I mean, they're going to be here soon, too. Just like us.
Man, we are all just growing up.
Of course, I didn't really know what happened before Chandler and I arrived, but it couldn't have been too exciting. The only thing I remember about the trip over was that he and I kissed the entire way there. But he didn't try to grope me or anything. So, I didn't mind at all. I'm finally able to relax around guys, now knowing that I have my husband around to protect me.
We came into the reception, hand in hand. It just felt so right. Bunches of flashes went off when we entered, and all faces turned our way and lit up when the announcer introduced us. There was smiling and applause. There wasn't a single place that I'd rather have been than there with him. We had hugs all around, and started meeting and greeting people. Socializing wasn't always my strong point, but I could make it by as a social butterfly.
We had a bunch of fun later on. Apparently, Joey and Phoebe planned all these silly little games for the bride and groom to play, and so we ended up doing some weird stuff. I had to sit in a chair, and Chandler found my garter with just his mouth. That was pretty embarrassing. And then, I had to get cherries out of his mouth, using only my tongue! That took me forever, but I'm sure he didn't mind too much. When it was time for cake, we were told to feed it to each other, but I took a playful route, and deliberately put icing on his nose. It was funny trying to watch him lick it off, and Rachel ended up making me do it for him. They're so crazy. And perverted, too.
Chandler and I had our first dance to our song. I closed my eyes, and imagined that it was our thirteenth date. That I was as nervous as ever, but the nervousness didn't come. It didn't exist with him. Nervousness was an old feeling now. I opened them again.
And I saw his eyes.
I'm never going to be scared again, as long as he's with me. If he's there, I have nothing to fear.
It got really late, really fast. The guests were gone, and I had paid the caterer. The rest of us had some time to talk before we left, and we sat and chatted at our table. Getting up, Joey and Ross gave us a hug. Janice had gotten upset with Ross, and left the reception early in the evening. They both gave me a kiss.
"We have to go, you guys. Sorry. This has been so much fun. Congratulations, you two."
We hugged goodbye again, and with that, they left. Rachel and Phoebe decided to go and get some more to eat, and have their own private discussion, so they gave us a hug, too, and headed over to the buffet. Matthew and Chandler headed to the bathroom, and Cee and I hung back.
She was smiling at me, tears rolling silently down her face.
It was how I had hoped my mother would look on my wedding day. I started to cry, too.
I hugged her, and kissed her cheek. She gently brushed my hair out of my face, and looked at me. Matthew came up behind her, and she looked up at him. I smiled, and they turned to smile back. He put his chin on her head, and looked at me.
And I looked back into the eyes of my guardian angels.
I felt Chandler's hands on my waist. I knew it was him; no one else holds me like that. I leaned back against him, and looked up.
And I saw his eyes.
In that minute that we all shared, Cee had said she was proud of me. Matt had agreed. I had thanked them. Chandler and I had told each other that we loved each other, and that we loved them. They said that they loved us, too, and that they hoped they would be as happy as we were. And we hoped so, as well.
In all that was said, not a word was spoken.
'The best friends are those who speak without words.'
I never truly understood that until now.
The four of us stood there, looking at each other, until Phoebe and Rachel came up to us.
"Hey, you guys, what're you up to?" Rachel asked, looking back and forth between each pair. She saw the resemblance.
"They're having a spiritual connection." Phoebe said, quietly, "We should go, we'll see them soon."
Rachel nodded, and the two headed out. My hand tightened around Chandler's, just as Cee's did with Matt. My tears fell with hers. My life entwined with hers. And I looked up at Matt, who was my inspiration. My savior. And my friend. The two in front of me were the two who helped me get everything back together, to be able to live again. And for that, I owe them my life. The two in front of me were the two who are going to spend the rest of their lives together. My two best friends are in love.
Cee smiled her smile, and took Matt's other hand.
And they left, without any second glances. When they had gone, and the room was still, I turned around to look at him.
I looked at Chandler.
My husband. The love of my life. My soul mate.
I looked at him.
And I saw his eyes.
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