Chapter 4: I feel like letting go...
She was totally speechless. She couldn't believe that he, the wise Jedi master, who never did something wrong and who let no one have a look at his inner feelings went through such a drama. It had touched her heart how he'd told her the story of the love he'd shared with Lady Nessaya. He really must have loved her with all of his heart. And she finally understood, how much he needed the Force to survive that hopeless love.
It hadn't been easy to tell her. He had lost the only person he had ever loved and he had not talked to anyone about it but her, Padmé.
His face was covered with tears. The past got him once more and she did not know what to do when she saw him like that. She'd never seen him cry.
"Shh, Obi-Wan. Don't cry." she whispered while wiping the tears from his face. When she was looking into his blue eyes, which were still the same as so many years ago, he smiled slightly back at her.
"Have you...have you ever loved again...that...that way, Obi-Wan ?" she asked him hesitating.
"No..." he replied, shaking his head.
"Oh...I'm sorry about that...I mean...I just wanted..." she stuttered. But he put his finger upon her mouth.
"I've never loved again that way...not until I have met you..."
Silence filled the room. They didn't need any words to know their feelings. He stroke her beautiful face, which still looked so young and innocent, and pushed her long hair back from her face. Padmé put her hand upon his, touching it innocently, her eyes still resting on his face.
"Why...why have you never told me...?"
"Because...because I didn't want to lose the one I love again...Like I lost Tamé. And anyway...you loved Anakin. And you will always do love him." Obi-Wan answered.
"You'll never lose me, Obi-Wan. Never. I will always be in your heart. Wherever the Force will lead you - I'll be there. And Anakin...Yes, it's true. I loved him. But the man I loved and married is dead. What's left of him is...his body, but not his soul. So my heart is free. To beat for someone else. A someone that I love as much as I loved Anakin. You are my someone. We both have to live with the loss of a beloved person. But the pain will be easier to tolerate if we share it. And with all of my heart and soul, I love you."
The words came out of her mouth and they sounded true and right. Obi-Wan nodded.
Oh darkness I feel like letting go...
If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better that this
Full of grace
Full of grace my love...
They were still watching each other. They just wanted to make this moment last forever because it was perfect. They were close to each other, they knew about their feelings and they knew that now nothing could come between the, no matter how hopeless everything would seem Now that they had that new love, they were able to let go. Let go Anakin and Nessaya and everything that happened in the past.
*I think I finally found the thing called peace. I have never felt so comfortable, safe and right like this since Tamé died. I loved her. More than my own life. I still do love her. Yes, I love you, Tamé. And you'll always be a part of me. But now, it's time to go on. Go on living. With her who I love as much as I love you. You were right, love. I live again. In peace and love.*
It's better this way
I said
Having seen this place before
Where everything we said and did
Hurts us all the more
It's just that we stayed
Too long
In the same old sickly skin
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go...
*Anakin, these thoughts are for you. Because I want you to know, that I'll always love the man you were once. I don't regret a second of our time until you...You know what I mean. And our love will go on because of our children. But now, the time has come, to let you go. Thank the Force that it sent me an angel - Obi-Wan. I will live on, because he gives me the strength and love I need. And I'm sure, the part of you that loved me once, would be happy for us...*
They got up and were now standing right in front of one another. Seeing the love in their eyes, they fell into a deep, longing kiss, that showed the never ending love between them.
She was totally speechless. She couldn't believe that he, the wise Jedi master, who never did something wrong and who let no one have a look at his inner feelings went through such a drama. It had touched her heart how he'd told her the story of the love he'd shared with Lady Nessaya. He really must have loved her with all of his heart. And she finally understood, how much he needed the Force to survive that hopeless love.
It hadn't been easy to tell her. He had lost the only person he had ever loved and he had not talked to anyone about it but her, Padmé.
His face was covered with tears. The past got him once more and she did not know what to do when she saw him like that. She'd never seen him cry.
"Shh, Obi-Wan. Don't cry." she whispered while wiping the tears from his face. When she was looking into his blue eyes, which were still the same as so many years ago, he smiled slightly back at her.
"Have you...have you ever loved again...that...that way, Obi-Wan ?" she asked him hesitating.
"No..." he replied, shaking his head.
"Oh...I'm sorry about that...I mean...I just wanted..." she stuttered. But he put his finger upon her mouth.
"I've never loved again that way...not until I have met you..."
Silence filled the room. They didn't need any words to know their feelings. He stroke her beautiful face, which still looked so young and innocent, and pushed her long hair back from her face. Padmé put her hand upon his, touching it innocently, her eyes still resting on his face.
"Why...why have you never told me...?"
"Because...because I didn't want to lose the one I love again...Like I lost Tamé. And anyway...you loved Anakin. And you will always do love him." Obi-Wan answered.
"You'll never lose me, Obi-Wan. Never. I will always be in your heart. Wherever the Force will lead you - I'll be there. And Anakin...Yes, it's true. I loved him. But the man I loved and married is dead. What's left of him is...his body, but not his soul. So my heart is free. To beat for someone else. A someone that I love as much as I loved Anakin. You are my someone. We both have to live with the loss of a beloved person. But the pain will be easier to tolerate if we share it. And with all of my heart and soul, I love you."
The words came out of her mouth and they sounded true and right. Obi-Wan nodded.
Oh darkness I feel like letting go...
If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better that this
Full of grace
Full of grace my love...
They were still watching each other. They just wanted to make this moment last forever because it was perfect. They were close to each other, they knew about their feelings and they knew that now nothing could come between the, no matter how hopeless everything would seem Now that they had that new love, they were able to let go. Let go Anakin and Nessaya and everything that happened in the past.
*I think I finally found the thing called peace. I have never felt so comfortable, safe and right like this since Tamé died. I loved her. More than my own life. I still do love her. Yes, I love you, Tamé. And you'll always be a part of me. But now, it's time to go on. Go on living. With her who I love as much as I love you. You were right, love. I live again. In peace and love.*
It's better this way
I said
Having seen this place before
Where everything we said and did
Hurts us all the more
It's just that we stayed
Too long
In the same old sickly skin
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go...
*Anakin, these thoughts are for you. Because I want you to know, that I'll always love the man you were once. I don't regret a second of our time until you...You know what I mean. And our love will go on because of our children. But now, the time has come, to let you go. Thank the Force that it sent me an angel - Obi-Wan. I will live on, because he gives me the strength and love I need. And I'm sure, the part of you that loved me once, would be happy for us...*
They got up and were now standing right in front of one another. Seeing the love in their eyes, they fell into a deep, longing kiss, that showed the never ending love between them.