SNAPERIFFIC!
Author's Note: Review, review, review, reviewwww! Okay, so, in this chapter, you find out Snape's secret! Mouaahaahaa!
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Chapter Two: Snape, We Hardly Knew Ye
It had rained earlier that day, so there were a few puddles. Fred and George didn't bother to go around them as they headed towards a group of people in white clothes by the lake. After they had passed through a rather deep puddle, George glanced back at Snape. There was something unusual about his appearance.
'Say, Fred, is it just me, or did Snape just get blonder?' he asked.
Fred looked back, and sure enough, a golden-blonde streak was visible in Snape's greasy black hair. 'I do say, George! You are right!'
'Rather!'
Fred dropped Snape's foot, and George did the same. They examined the blonde streak carefully. They arrived at the conclusion that,
'Lets dunk his head in the lake and see what happens!!' Fred said excitedly. They gave each other high-fives and took up dragging him again, a bit faster this time. They headed a bit away from the people in the white clothes. By the time they reached the lake, Snape's hair was considerably muddy, and they could barely see the blonde.
George sighed. 'Quick rest?' he asked. Fred nodded and they sat down. And then they got up. They each took a foot and held it higher so that Snape's head was a few centimetres above the ground.
'One.'
'Two.'
'DUNKAROOOS!!' Fred yelled enthusiastically. They lowered their arms, and put the top of Severus' head into the water.
And spun him around.
They did this as long as their arms could take it, which was surprisingly enough, three minutes. Once they were done, they lifted him out of the water, and almost dropped him back in. His hair was c-o-m-p-l-e-t-e-l-y blonde! They put Snape down on the grass and tried to recover themselves.
George shook his head. 'I think I have finally lost it.'
Fred nodded. 'Me too. Maybe we should retire early.'
'This job is taking a toll on my brain.'
'Mine too! Because to me-'
'It looks like Snape's hair-'
'IS BLONDE!!' they said in unison and laughed.
George smiled. 'I guess we aren't seeing things. Good call ref!' Snape stirred, and the twins grinned evilly.
Snape groaned and opened his eyes. He blinked to clear them. Even though he was just coming to he knew something was wrong the moment he saw the faces of Fred and George. He tried to sit up, but found that he could barely move. 'What did you do to me?' he asked groggily.
George giggled uncharacteristically. 'You fell asleep during your own lesson!' he said with a smile that Snape wouldn't trust in a million years.
Fred nodded. 'We all have at one point, but we were surprised that the next person to fall asleep in your class, would be you!' they both laughed and Snape moaned.
'What are you going to do with meee?' he asked, stressing the last word.
'All will be found out in due time.' George said matter-of-factly. They helped him sit up and leaned him against a trunk. Snape felt himself waking up more and more.
He ran his fingers through his hair, but habit and found that the texture wasn't quite the same as it always had been. He tried it again, and felt the same thing. The twins remained completely silent.
Snape blinked and held the longest lock of hair out for inspection. 'It can't be!' he gasped.
Fred and George told him to be quiet. 'We have some questions, and we aren't leaving until they are answered. Answered by you.' Snape shook his head, but they silenced him again.
George stood up. 'First of all! Why are you blonde?' he asked. Snape tried to hold his mouth shut, but all of the veritaserum the twins had added to the tranquilizer was taking over.
'I-' he sighed. 'I am a natural blonde.' He said plainly.
Fred, seeing that if he didn't ask another question, Snape wouldn't tell them anything else, proceeded to inquire further. 'Why was your hair black all of this time, then?'
Snape, once again, tried not to talk, but failed. 'I have been hiding my identity. My hair hasn't been washed since I was five years old.'
'And why is that.?' Fred asked anxiously.
'B-because I wanted to keep it black so no one would recognise me.' He said. George stared at his face intently.
'Fred.' George began, 'Don't you think that Snape resembles another one of our most favourite professors?' Fred shook his head. 'imagine his hair short.' George prodded. Fred peered at Snape, who moved back uncomfortably.
Fred blinked and then smiled. 'Why, George! I do think so!' Fred said happily. 'But what does that have to do with anything? Other than that, they look nothing alike.' he trailed off.
George shook his head. 'At times like this, it is hard to believe that you are my twin. See how his face looks skinnier, and less sallow coloured?' he asked. Fred, once again, peered at Snape. Snape, once again, tried to move away.
'Yes! Yes! I see!' Fred said.
George smiled. 'You see! It will take more than seeing. Things aren't always what they appear.' He said, trying to sound intelligent. He reached over and pulled what looked like a piece of peeling skin (EWW) off of Snape's cheek. As he did so, more skin came off, and after a few moments, Fred could plainly see that Snape was a big fan of chin putty. George wasn't done yet. He smacked Snape on the back of his head, and two pieces of glass fell off of his eyes. Brown contacts over bright baby-blue eyes had added to Severus' gross colouring scheme.
'Why, George! What genius!' said Fred. Snape looked close to tears.
George proceeded to ask another question. 'Alright, explain all of this. Hold back nothing.' Snape let out a little sob, and then began his tale.
'Let me start by saying that my name isn't Severus Snape. It is-' he faltered, as if he couldn't bare to pronounce the syllables. George glared at him warningly. 'Richard Lockhart.' He said finally. Fred snickered a bit, but quieted down to let Snape- er- Richard continue. 'My parents were both very wealthy super models. My dad retired early, and started a drill company with his brother- in-law. My mother continued to model the most popular wizarding fashions. When she found out about Gilderoy, she was very excited. She couldn't wait to have a child who would be able to follow in her footsteps. She was devastated when she found out that we were twins. Since I was the weirdest, she gave me up for adoption once I was four. My brother and I were never that close, but before I left, we gave each other matching necklaces.' He reached under his collar and pulled out a gold chain with a pink-red half-heart. The twins tried not to laugh. 'He has the other half, they fit together perfectly.'
Fred stood up and looked over at the other side of the lake. The people in the white clothes were still there. He sat down and urged Richard to go on.
'As I was saying, I was given up for adoption to an old couple. The father was rather strange, and insisted on naming me Severus, so that it would make me sound tougher. He taught me that power was the only thing important in life, and part of me believed him.' Snape blew his nose on his robes. 'They died shortly after I entered Hogwarts, so I was left to fend for myself. I was able to stay at friends' houses for the summers, and soon got involved with the Deatheaters.'
George stopped him. 'Hold it for a second. Lockhart attended Hogwarts too, so why are you still pretending to be someone else?'
Severus sighed. 'I couldn't bring myself to tell him. Once, I did tell someone else, however. He was the only one besides my parents, and Dumbledore who knew.'
'Who.?' asked the twins.
'James Potter.'
Fred and George couldn't hold it in anymore. They had a good laugh before they let Snape proceed to tell them more.
Richard wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. 'He thought it was mighty funny too. He threatened to tell Lockhart, but I knew he had a secret. I threatened to tell his secret.' He paused as if searching for the right words. 'I knew his friend wasn't quite what he appeared to be. James told me to buzz off, but his more rebellious friend, Sirius, had over heard. He made me an offer I couldn't refuse.' Fred and George hadn't heard this version of the story before. 'He told me about the knot in the Whomping Willow, and I think you know what happens from there.'
Fred nodded. 'What happened after the incident?'
'I got very mad at James because I knew he was in on it. He made Sirius do all of his dirty work! I knew I couldn't do anything to him because he would spill my secret, and he knew he couldn't do anything much to be, because I would spill Remus'. We remained almost-silent enemies for the remainders of our years, except for the occasional standard prank.'
'And at what time did you quit the deatheaters?' George asked.
Snape nodded. 'Oh, that. Well I quit one day when Gilderoy sprayed me with windex.'
'Windex?'
'Yeah.'
George looked at Fred, and Fred looked at George. 'Makes sense.' They said.
He went on to tell them about his struggle with billywig. They listened intentally, and once he was done they had more questions.
'Lockhart was here in our third year.' George said
Snape nodded, and Fred continuted. '. so why didn't you tell him?'
'I suppose I just didn't have the nerve. He hated me, and was always giving me hair-tips. I couldn't use any of them, of course. Dumbledore told me to wait until I would tell him anyway. ' he glanced at the twins, who seemed to be holding in a lot of laughter. 'Then, on the day that Ginny Weasley got kidnapped and Gilderoy went to rescue her, I decided that when he would arrive back, I would tell him. But.' he sighed. 'but, his memory was completely gone. It hurt me so much to see him looking so out of it and clueless.' Fred coughed loudly into the back of his hand, and George sneezed over his shoulder.
Fred and George took a moment to digest all of this new information. They had learned more in that short ten minutes than they had during two weeks of school! Snape the most ugly, and hated professor in all of Hogwarts was a golden-haired, blue-eyed, twin of ex-star Gilderoy Lockheart!
George cleared his throat. 'Say, Richard.'
Snape choked. 'That's Professor Snape to you!' he said, sitting up straight.
'Yes, yes, whatever!' Fred said.
'We were wondering.'
'If you had the chance to tell Gilderoy now.'
'Would you?' they asked.
Snape smiled sadly. 'You both know that it is impossible. He _is_ in Saint Mungo's, after all. But, yes. If I could, I would.'
The twins laughed and lifted Snape up, one at each arm. Instead of explaining any further, they dragged him over to the part of the shore where they had seen the people in white clothing.
'Oi! We've got the patient here!' George said, waving his free arm in the air. Two strangers ran over to them, one controlling a magically air-suspended stretcher with his wand, and the other with a straightjacket. Snape, possibly paralysed with fear, exhaustion, and elephant tranquilizers, could only watch with wide eyes as they put the white harness on him, and lifted him onto the stretcher.
With the look that we have often seen in movies; parents saying goodbye to their child, who is going of to college or university, a look of mock-pride on their faces-- Fred and George waved to Snape.
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A/N: R-e-v-i-e-w, please.
Author's Note: Review, review, review, reviewwww! Okay, so, in this chapter, you find out Snape's secret! Mouaahaahaa!
-----
Chapter Two: Snape, We Hardly Knew Ye
It had rained earlier that day, so there were a few puddles. Fred and George didn't bother to go around them as they headed towards a group of people in white clothes by the lake. After they had passed through a rather deep puddle, George glanced back at Snape. There was something unusual about his appearance.
'Say, Fred, is it just me, or did Snape just get blonder?' he asked.
Fred looked back, and sure enough, a golden-blonde streak was visible in Snape's greasy black hair. 'I do say, George! You are right!'
'Rather!'
Fred dropped Snape's foot, and George did the same. They examined the blonde streak carefully. They arrived at the conclusion that,
'Lets dunk his head in the lake and see what happens!!' Fred said excitedly. They gave each other high-fives and took up dragging him again, a bit faster this time. They headed a bit away from the people in the white clothes. By the time they reached the lake, Snape's hair was considerably muddy, and they could barely see the blonde.
George sighed. 'Quick rest?' he asked. Fred nodded and they sat down. And then they got up. They each took a foot and held it higher so that Snape's head was a few centimetres above the ground.
'One.'
'Two.'
'DUNKAROOOS!!' Fred yelled enthusiastically. They lowered their arms, and put the top of Severus' head into the water.
And spun him around.
They did this as long as their arms could take it, which was surprisingly enough, three minutes. Once they were done, they lifted him out of the water, and almost dropped him back in. His hair was c-o-m-p-l-e-t-e-l-y blonde! They put Snape down on the grass and tried to recover themselves.
George shook his head. 'I think I have finally lost it.'
Fred nodded. 'Me too. Maybe we should retire early.'
'This job is taking a toll on my brain.'
'Mine too! Because to me-'
'It looks like Snape's hair-'
'IS BLONDE!!' they said in unison and laughed.
George smiled. 'I guess we aren't seeing things. Good call ref!' Snape stirred, and the twins grinned evilly.
Snape groaned and opened his eyes. He blinked to clear them. Even though he was just coming to he knew something was wrong the moment he saw the faces of Fred and George. He tried to sit up, but found that he could barely move. 'What did you do to me?' he asked groggily.
George giggled uncharacteristically. 'You fell asleep during your own lesson!' he said with a smile that Snape wouldn't trust in a million years.
Fred nodded. 'We all have at one point, but we were surprised that the next person to fall asleep in your class, would be you!' they both laughed and Snape moaned.
'What are you going to do with meee?' he asked, stressing the last word.
'All will be found out in due time.' George said matter-of-factly. They helped him sit up and leaned him against a trunk. Snape felt himself waking up more and more.
He ran his fingers through his hair, but habit and found that the texture wasn't quite the same as it always had been. He tried it again, and felt the same thing. The twins remained completely silent.
Snape blinked and held the longest lock of hair out for inspection. 'It can't be!' he gasped.
Fred and George told him to be quiet. 'We have some questions, and we aren't leaving until they are answered. Answered by you.' Snape shook his head, but they silenced him again.
George stood up. 'First of all! Why are you blonde?' he asked. Snape tried to hold his mouth shut, but all of the veritaserum the twins had added to the tranquilizer was taking over.
'I-' he sighed. 'I am a natural blonde.' He said plainly.
Fred, seeing that if he didn't ask another question, Snape wouldn't tell them anything else, proceeded to inquire further. 'Why was your hair black all of this time, then?'
Snape, once again, tried not to talk, but failed. 'I have been hiding my identity. My hair hasn't been washed since I was five years old.'
'And why is that.?' Fred asked anxiously.
'B-because I wanted to keep it black so no one would recognise me.' He said. George stared at his face intently.
'Fred.' George began, 'Don't you think that Snape resembles another one of our most favourite professors?' Fred shook his head. 'imagine his hair short.' George prodded. Fred peered at Snape, who moved back uncomfortably.
Fred blinked and then smiled. 'Why, George! I do think so!' Fred said happily. 'But what does that have to do with anything? Other than that, they look nothing alike.' he trailed off.
George shook his head. 'At times like this, it is hard to believe that you are my twin. See how his face looks skinnier, and less sallow coloured?' he asked. Fred, once again, peered at Snape. Snape, once again, tried to move away.
'Yes! Yes! I see!' Fred said.
George smiled. 'You see! It will take more than seeing. Things aren't always what they appear.' He said, trying to sound intelligent. He reached over and pulled what looked like a piece of peeling skin (EWW) off of Snape's cheek. As he did so, more skin came off, and after a few moments, Fred could plainly see that Snape was a big fan of chin putty. George wasn't done yet. He smacked Snape on the back of his head, and two pieces of glass fell off of his eyes. Brown contacts over bright baby-blue eyes had added to Severus' gross colouring scheme.
'Why, George! What genius!' said Fred. Snape looked close to tears.
George proceeded to ask another question. 'Alright, explain all of this. Hold back nothing.' Snape let out a little sob, and then began his tale.
'Let me start by saying that my name isn't Severus Snape. It is-' he faltered, as if he couldn't bare to pronounce the syllables. George glared at him warningly. 'Richard Lockhart.' He said finally. Fred snickered a bit, but quieted down to let Snape- er- Richard continue. 'My parents were both very wealthy super models. My dad retired early, and started a drill company with his brother- in-law. My mother continued to model the most popular wizarding fashions. When she found out about Gilderoy, she was very excited. She couldn't wait to have a child who would be able to follow in her footsteps. She was devastated when she found out that we were twins. Since I was the weirdest, she gave me up for adoption once I was four. My brother and I were never that close, but before I left, we gave each other matching necklaces.' He reached under his collar and pulled out a gold chain with a pink-red half-heart. The twins tried not to laugh. 'He has the other half, they fit together perfectly.'
Fred stood up and looked over at the other side of the lake. The people in the white clothes were still there. He sat down and urged Richard to go on.
'As I was saying, I was given up for adoption to an old couple. The father was rather strange, and insisted on naming me Severus, so that it would make me sound tougher. He taught me that power was the only thing important in life, and part of me believed him.' Snape blew his nose on his robes. 'They died shortly after I entered Hogwarts, so I was left to fend for myself. I was able to stay at friends' houses for the summers, and soon got involved with the Deatheaters.'
George stopped him. 'Hold it for a second. Lockhart attended Hogwarts too, so why are you still pretending to be someone else?'
Severus sighed. 'I couldn't bring myself to tell him. Once, I did tell someone else, however. He was the only one besides my parents, and Dumbledore who knew.'
'Who.?' asked the twins.
'James Potter.'
Fred and George couldn't hold it in anymore. They had a good laugh before they let Snape proceed to tell them more.
Richard wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. 'He thought it was mighty funny too. He threatened to tell Lockhart, but I knew he had a secret. I threatened to tell his secret.' He paused as if searching for the right words. 'I knew his friend wasn't quite what he appeared to be. James told me to buzz off, but his more rebellious friend, Sirius, had over heard. He made me an offer I couldn't refuse.' Fred and George hadn't heard this version of the story before. 'He told me about the knot in the Whomping Willow, and I think you know what happens from there.'
Fred nodded. 'What happened after the incident?'
'I got very mad at James because I knew he was in on it. He made Sirius do all of his dirty work! I knew I couldn't do anything to him because he would spill my secret, and he knew he couldn't do anything much to be, because I would spill Remus'. We remained almost-silent enemies for the remainders of our years, except for the occasional standard prank.'
'And at what time did you quit the deatheaters?' George asked.
Snape nodded. 'Oh, that. Well I quit one day when Gilderoy sprayed me with windex.'
'Windex?'
'Yeah.'
George looked at Fred, and Fred looked at George. 'Makes sense.' They said.
He went on to tell them about his struggle with billywig. They listened intentally, and once he was done they had more questions.
'Lockhart was here in our third year.' George said
Snape nodded, and Fred continuted. '. so why didn't you tell him?'
'I suppose I just didn't have the nerve. He hated me, and was always giving me hair-tips. I couldn't use any of them, of course. Dumbledore told me to wait until I would tell him anyway. ' he glanced at the twins, who seemed to be holding in a lot of laughter. 'Then, on the day that Ginny Weasley got kidnapped and Gilderoy went to rescue her, I decided that when he would arrive back, I would tell him. But.' he sighed. 'but, his memory was completely gone. It hurt me so much to see him looking so out of it and clueless.' Fred coughed loudly into the back of his hand, and George sneezed over his shoulder.
Fred and George took a moment to digest all of this new information. They had learned more in that short ten minutes than they had during two weeks of school! Snape the most ugly, and hated professor in all of Hogwarts was a golden-haired, blue-eyed, twin of ex-star Gilderoy Lockheart!
George cleared his throat. 'Say, Richard.'
Snape choked. 'That's Professor Snape to you!' he said, sitting up straight.
'Yes, yes, whatever!' Fred said.
'We were wondering.'
'If you had the chance to tell Gilderoy now.'
'Would you?' they asked.
Snape smiled sadly. 'You both know that it is impossible. He _is_ in Saint Mungo's, after all. But, yes. If I could, I would.'
The twins laughed and lifted Snape up, one at each arm. Instead of explaining any further, they dragged him over to the part of the shore where they had seen the people in white clothing.
'Oi! We've got the patient here!' George said, waving his free arm in the air. Two strangers ran over to them, one controlling a magically air-suspended stretcher with his wand, and the other with a straightjacket. Snape, possibly paralysed with fear, exhaustion, and elephant tranquilizers, could only watch with wide eyes as they put the white harness on him, and lifted him onto the stretcher.
With the look that we have often seen in movies; parents saying goodbye to their child, who is going of to college or university, a look of mock-pride on their faces-- Fred and George waved to Snape.
-----
A/N: R-e-v-i-e-w, please.