SNAPERIFFIC!
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A/N: Um. like I said, this story just keeps on getting weirder. Heh. I love the word adhesive. Its just so. sticky. Review!!
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Chapter Four: The Purple Flavoured Adhesive Stretchy-Fabric Wound- Healer
The next morning Snape woke up with a terrible headache. He sat up and tried to remember what he did the day before. When nothing came to him, he started to panic. He threw off his covers and let out a sigh of relief. He DID clip his toenails! It was all just a bad dream, then. He tried to get up, but fell over, hitting his head on the night table.
'Oh! Mister Snape! You are awake!' said a giggly high-pitched voice. Snape looked around dizzily, trying to see who it was. A smiling brunette waved at him. 'Does someone have a boo-boo? Does Mister Snape want an adhesive stretchy-fabric wound-healer? We have purple flavour now!' she said, never-not smiling. Snape stared.
'I can count to ten.' He said before he could stop himself. The woman smiled wider.
'Oooh! We are so proud of you! Now, lie down for a bit longer, so your head doesn't feel all woozily!' she said, as if she were talking to a baby. 'Doctor Sacha will be right back with a purple flavoured adhesive wound-healer!'
'I don't want a stupid purple band-aid!' Snape screamed, coming back to his senses. 'Get this straight-jacket off of me!' he said, struggling in his bondage.
Doctor Sacha shook her head and clucked. 'Mister Snape mustn't get too much adrenaline flowing this early in the morning! He must calm himself and wait patiently for his adhesive wound-healer. He can even talk to his roommate while he waits!' she said. Snape turned around to see another bed a few metres away from his. He also saw that the windows had bars on them. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves.
'Snape will wait patiently. Oh, he will, but only if he is free to move his arms, because if he isn't he will get very angry indeed, and run amok, breaking things and disturbing the other patients!' he said in the same tone Sacha used on him. She glared at him for a moment, and then continued with her perky mode.
'Well, only if he promises!' she said, and unhooked the straight jacket. She hung it up on the wall, and told him to wait like a good boy while she got him a drink and a band-aid. Snape stretched his arms and sighed. He got up and walked over to the bed to see his roommate.
Funny, how could anyone sleep through that? He thought to himself. He bent over the person and tried to look at their face. Almost immediately as he did this, their big blue eyes opened and the person grinned and yelled, 'HELLO!'
Snape fell back, terrified out of his mind (good thing he was in an asylum). He started to crawl away, but the person stood up and waved to him. Snape nearly fainted. 'Gilderoy?!' he asked. Gilderoy giggled and put his finger to his nose.
'Shh!' he said louder than Snape had been. 'We must be quiet if we are to get animal crackers!' he grinned and helped Snape stand up. He looked at him for a moment, and his grin faded.
'What's wrong?' Snape asked. Gilderoy reached out and put his fingers around Snape's locket. Then, with his other hand, he pulled his out. Snape gasped as Gilderoy fitted them together.
Gilderoy looked at Snape and furrowed his eyebrows. 'R-richie?'
Before Snape could say anything, they heard a loud high-pitched scream from the doorway. Snape whipped around to see Doctor Sacha fainting. Snape put her out into the hall, and sat her in a chair, and then went back into his room. He locked the door, and put a chair under the doorknob.
'Gilderoy? Do you really remember me?' he asked. Gilderoy nodded and smiled.
'Yessirie-bob!' he squeaked and clapped his hands.
Snape brought a stool to the window and looked out. He guessed that they were on the eighth floor. He sighed and sat down, his head in his hands. Gilderoy sat down beside him.
'We have to get out of here, Gilderoy. Will you help me?' Snape asked. Gilderoy scratched his head, grinning.
'Hands are for helping, not hurting.' He said seriously. Snape blinked.
'I'll take that as a yes.' He stood up determinedly. 'But, first, I am going to do something that I haven't done in a long time- wash my hair!'
~
Hermione, the early bird, came down to the Common Room way to early the next day (eight o'clock- IT SATURDAY FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!). When she saw Harry sprawled out on the couch, she gasped.
'Harry! Did you eat all that ice-cream?!' she asked, pointing to five empty tubs of Hagaan Daazs (double chocolate-chip cookie dough with brownie, fudge, nutella, pecan, and three chocolate dark, milk, and white swirl). Harry moaned and finished off his third jar of peanut butter and tossed it on the floor, along with the ice- cream tubs, two other empty peanut butter jars, and five virgin pina colada bottles.
Ron came down, still in his pyjamas, wiping sleep from his eyes. 'What's going on you-' he yawned loudly, 'guys?'
Hermione put her hands on her hips and looked down at Harry. 'Harry binged.' She said. Harry drooled.
'I think I'm sick.' He mumbled. Ron sighed and pulled him up by one arm.
'Hermione, help me get him upstairs.' He said. Hermione took Harry's other arm and they took him up to his bed. Hermione looked around there room, tsk-ing to herself.
'You boys are such slobs!' she scolded. Ron rolled his eyes and Dean woke up.
'Hermione?' he asked groggily. 'You aren't supposed to be in here!'
She glared. 'I'm a PREFECT, I can be wherever I very well please! Now go back to sleep, I was just helping Ron bring Harry upstairs.' Dean touched his eyebrow gingerly and winced.
'I don't care what Fred and George say, there was SOMETHING in that champaign!' and with that, he fell asleep. Hermione told Harry to rest for a while, and she left.
'Harry?' Ron asked once she left. When all he heard was a gurgling sound he gave up and fell asleep again. Once Harry was sure that Ron wasn't awake, he pulled a few boxes of (chocolate) Turtles and Hedgehogs from under his bed, and started to pig-out again.
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A/N: Um. Harry is depressed because no one was paying attention to him, in case you were wondering. Tell me what you think in -review form-!
------
A/N: Um. like I said, this story just keeps on getting weirder. Heh. I love the word adhesive. Its just so. sticky. Review!!
----
Chapter Four: The Purple Flavoured Adhesive Stretchy-Fabric Wound- Healer
The next morning Snape woke up with a terrible headache. He sat up and tried to remember what he did the day before. When nothing came to him, he started to panic. He threw off his covers and let out a sigh of relief. He DID clip his toenails! It was all just a bad dream, then. He tried to get up, but fell over, hitting his head on the night table.
'Oh! Mister Snape! You are awake!' said a giggly high-pitched voice. Snape looked around dizzily, trying to see who it was. A smiling brunette waved at him. 'Does someone have a boo-boo? Does Mister Snape want an adhesive stretchy-fabric wound-healer? We have purple flavour now!' she said, never-not smiling. Snape stared.
'I can count to ten.' He said before he could stop himself. The woman smiled wider.
'Oooh! We are so proud of you! Now, lie down for a bit longer, so your head doesn't feel all woozily!' she said, as if she were talking to a baby. 'Doctor Sacha will be right back with a purple flavoured adhesive wound-healer!'
'I don't want a stupid purple band-aid!' Snape screamed, coming back to his senses. 'Get this straight-jacket off of me!' he said, struggling in his bondage.
Doctor Sacha shook her head and clucked. 'Mister Snape mustn't get too much adrenaline flowing this early in the morning! He must calm himself and wait patiently for his adhesive wound-healer. He can even talk to his roommate while he waits!' she said. Snape turned around to see another bed a few metres away from his. He also saw that the windows had bars on them. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves.
'Snape will wait patiently. Oh, he will, but only if he is free to move his arms, because if he isn't he will get very angry indeed, and run amok, breaking things and disturbing the other patients!' he said in the same tone Sacha used on him. She glared at him for a moment, and then continued with her perky mode.
'Well, only if he promises!' she said, and unhooked the straight jacket. She hung it up on the wall, and told him to wait like a good boy while she got him a drink and a band-aid. Snape stretched his arms and sighed. He got up and walked over to the bed to see his roommate.
Funny, how could anyone sleep through that? He thought to himself. He bent over the person and tried to look at their face. Almost immediately as he did this, their big blue eyes opened and the person grinned and yelled, 'HELLO!'
Snape fell back, terrified out of his mind (good thing he was in an asylum). He started to crawl away, but the person stood up and waved to him. Snape nearly fainted. 'Gilderoy?!' he asked. Gilderoy giggled and put his finger to his nose.
'Shh!' he said louder than Snape had been. 'We must be quiet if we are to get animal crackers!' he grinned and helped Snape stand up. He looked at him for a moment, and his grin faded.
'What's wrong?' Snape asked. Gilderoy reached out and put his fingers around Snape's locket. Then, with his other hand, he pulled his out. Snape gasped as Gilderoy fitted them together.
Gilderoy looked at Snape and furrowed his eyebrows. 'R-richie?'
Before Snape could say anything, they heard a loud high-pitched scream from the doorway. Snape whipped around to see Doctor Sacha fainting. Snape put her out into the hall, and sat her in a chair, and then went back into his room. He locked the door, and put a chair under the doorknob.
'Gilderoy? Do you really remember me?' he asked. Gilderoy nodded and smiled.
'Yessirie-bob!' he squeaked and clapped his hands.
Snape brought a stool to the window and looked out. He guessed that they were on the eighth floor. He sighed and sat down, his head in his hands. Gilderoy sat down beside him.
'We have to get out of here, Gilderoy. Will you help me?' Snape asked. Gilderoy scratched his head, grinning.
'Hands are for helping, not hurting.' He said seriously. Snape blinked.
'I'll take that as a yes.' He stood up determinedly. 'But, first, I am going to do something that I haven't done in a long time- wash my hair!'
~
Hermione, the early bird, came down to the Common Room way to early the next day (eight o'clock- IT SATURDAY FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!). When she saw Harry sprawled out on the couch, she gasped.
'Harry! Did you eat all that ice-cream?!' she asked, pointing to five empty tubs of Hagaan Daazs (double chocolate-chip cookie dough with brownie, fudge, nutella, pecan, and three chocolate dark, milk, and white swirl). Harry moaned and finished off his third jar of peanut butter and tossed it on the floor, along with the ice- cream tubs, two other empty peanut butter jars, and five virgin pina colada bottles.
Ron came down, still in his pyjamas, wiping sleep from his eyes. 'What's going on you-' he yawned loudly, 'guys?'
Hermione put her hands on her hips and looked down at Harry. 'Harry binged.' She said. Harry drooled.
'I think I'm sick.' He mumbled. Ron sighed and pulled him up by one arm.
'Hermione, help me get him upstairs.' He said. Hermione took Harry's other arm and they took him up to his bed. Hermione looked around there room, tsk-ing to herself.
'You boys are such slobs!' she scolded. Ron rolled his eyes and Dean woke up.
'Hermione?' he asked groggily. 'You aren't supposed to be in here!'
She glared. 'I'm a PREFECT, I can be wherever I very well please! Now go back to sleep, I was just helping Ron bring Harry upstairs.' Dean touched his eyebrow gingerly and winced.
'I don't care what Fred and George say, there was SOMETHING in that champaign!' and with that, he fell asleep. Hermione told Harry to rest for a while, and she left.
'Harry?' Ron asked once she left. When all he heard was a gurgling sound he gave up and fell asleep again. Once Harry was sure that Ron wasn't awake, he pulled a few boxes of (chocolate) Turtles and Hedgehogs from under his bed, and started to pig-out again.
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A/N: Um. Harry is depressed because no one was paying attention to him, in case you were wondering. Tell me what you think in -review form-!