SNAPERIFFIC!
Author's Note: Okay, for those of you who have never had Frisks. well let me just say that I was unfortunate enough in my childhood to stuff five in my mouth at the same time. heh.
-----
Chapter Six: Of Ron, the Frisky Mints, and Frutopian Air-Guitar
'Harry. Join us.' Neville/Bruce said.
'Yes. Join us.' Said Flitwick, as if he was a zombie. Harry tripped over something, but stood up as fast as he could and ran even faster down the halls. But the FAAs were catching up to him. Their eyes hollow, their cheeks round, and their arms outstretched.
Harry reached a winding staircase and started down it. And, from some room, someone was playing "Spin Me Right 'Round". After a moment, Harry realized that he was no longer being chased. He forced his chubby legs to walk all the ways back up the stairs. He heard a different song playing, screaming, and hair ties being caught on fire.
'That can only mean one thing!' he said. 'A feminist rally!' and ran into the Great Hall.
Actually, it wasn't a feminist rally, it was Hermione doing a live reading of "Hogwarts: A History". Ron had been burning his hat, and ~accidentally~ threw it at Lavender and Parvati. Their hairclips caught on fire, and they were running around, screaming, and hitting their heads, trying to put it out. The Brostellas were practising for there next concert, and their warm-up song was "Spin Me Right 'Round".
Harry fell to his knees. 'Madness! Madness I tells yeh!' he said, and started to cry.
'Dumbledore is _so_ old.' Draco was practising his comedy routine again, while yelling at Neville to get him a plate of burritos.
'Right away sir! And might I add, I am your greatest fan!' Neville squeaked and ran away to fetch Draco's food. He has got to stop hanging out with Dobby, Harry thought to himself.
Ron ran over to him. 'Harry! You gotta hide me! Parvati and Lavender are on fire, and they say it's my fault!' he said, while shaking Harry by the shoulders and breathing in his face. Harry pushed Ron away and gasped for air.
'You know what your problem is, Ron?' he asked. Ron shook his head. 'You have _bad breath_!' Harry said. He pulled some "Frisks" out of his pocket and gave five to Ron. 'Put these in your mouth, all at once. It will hurt, but it will be worth it!'
Ron thanked Harry and stuffed seven "Frisks" into his mouth, all the while thinking, "how bad can it be?"
A moment later, after seeing Ron's face seize up, Harry smirked. 'Go geddem!' he said, and pushed Ron back into the room. Lavender and Parvati approached Ron with looks that could curdle milk.
'Hello ladies.' Ron said, grinning despite his pain, 'you are looking -hot- today.' He cracked up. 'Get it?!' he said between laughs.
They both frowned, but Lavendar frowned more. 'Very funny, wise guy! You are forgetting that our hair is on fire!' she scolded. Ron, with his icy-fresh breath, blew out the fire. They thanked him and ran away.
Professor McGonagall ran into the room, and shoved Draco and his band off the stage-thing. Then she made Hermione move, and confiscated her "Hogwarts; A History".
'No! Please! Anything but that!' Hermione wailed. She tore off her Prefect badge. 'Take my duties! My homework! Anything but "Hogwarts; A History"!' She looked so pathetic, that McGonagall gave it back to her, and told her to go sit down at the Gyffindor table.
McGonagall looked around the room, and everyone quieted down. 'Students, I am shocked at your behaviour today. Before I am barraged with excuse-notes from your parents-' she paused for effect, 'I have an announcement. Professor Snape, is-' she cleared her throat, 'missing.' She let her words sink in. Everyone cheered, except for the Slytherins. Draco looked like he just swallowed a lemon.
'It is difficult to find a replacement on such a short notice, but luckily enough, we did. Quiet, now while I say this. His replacement is. Sirius Black.' There was a chorus of gasping heard throughout the Hall. 'Now off to your normal classes, and if there are any questions, _please_ stop coming to me! Dumbledore _is_ the headmaster, after all!'
Harry, Hermione, and Ron met at the door, and rushed down to the dungeons for their next class, ~dun dunn~ POTIONS. They had to stop every so often because Harry was having a hard time keeping up.
'You know,' he said while they were waiting for him, 'Potions is the only class we have had this week, so far.' He said.
'We are allll, happpyy childreennnn.' Ron sang to himself. 'Happpyyy and ooobeeeedieeeent.' he tried to do a 360 (they were standing on the stairs) and he knocked Hermione over. She fell over, and hit Neville, who fell over and hit Seamus, who fell over and his Dean, who fell over and hit Lavender, who fell over and hit Parvati, and so on, until everyone on the staircase had fallen over, except for Harry and Ron, who were at the top.
Ron smiled widely. 'Finally! They haaave soft stairs for my dellllicate feeet!' he said this like a gameshow host introducing the contestants. Then, he put his hands on his hips and ran over everyone. Harry, seeing as there was nothing else to do, followed him (ignoring the snaps of bones breaking underneath him).
There was a long boring sequence of events that led to the whole class arriving in the dungeon, and I am in no hurry to include it. But once they did get down there, they were greeted by Harry's Godfather.
Harry ran up to him, arms open for a hug. 'Seeryyy!!' he said. Sirius put his arms straight out in front of him to push Harry away.
'Whoooa, back off heavy dude. Don't get yourself breathing more air than you should.' He motioned for everyone to sit in a circle around him while looking at his peace-sign necklace.
'Okay, dudes and dudettes, today we are gonna like, learn about a groovy potion, I like to call, Fruitopia.' he told them. Everyone stared at him in disbelief while Ron played air guitar beside him. 'Way to go red-hair dude!' Sirius said, referring to Ron. 'Fight the power!'
Harry put up his hand. 'Sirius. Why are you dressed like that?' he asked. Sirius looked down at his bellbottoms, peace symbol necklace, long hair, and hippie shirt. 'Because I don't believe in barbershops, man. Can anyone, like, tell me what extra ingredient we are gonna put in the Fruitopia today?' he asked.
Dean put up his hand. 'Glucose fructose?' he asked. Sirius shook his head.
'Good try, though. Our secret ingredient is-' his necklace started to beep. He stood up fast. 'Its time! If you wanna be a groovy flowerchild, then follow me.' He said. Everyone followed him because they wanted to be groovy too. He led them outside toward the Forbidden Forest. He pointed to the east.
'See that dudes? Those bulldozers are gonna try and bulldoze down out beloved forest. Those ungroovy dudes are gonna get rid of it so that they can build a mega-mall.' Everyone gasped. He brought them up to the trees, and chained the Gryfindors onto some redwoods and maples. Then, he made the Slytherins (it was double Potions class) march up and down in front of the tree line.
When the bulldozers arrived they saw the spectacle, and one of the drivers got out of the truck. 'Whaddu you treehuggers think yehr doin', huh?' he asked angrily. 'We got orders to tear down them there trees, and you ain't gonna stop us! Peh!' he spat on the ground.
Sirius stepped forward bravely. 'Oh, yeah?' he asked. He turned around to Draco and Pansy who had somehow conjured up an acoustic guitar. 'Ready Draco?' he asked. Draco nodded and started to play a song.
'Uptown girl!' he said, and strummed, 'she's been living in her white bread world!' Pansy joined in, and soon the whole class was singing. The bulldozer man stepped back, eyeing everyone nervously.
'Shut up! Shut up! All of yehs!' he said frantically, backing away.
Sirius walked up closer to him. 'You can't defeat us Nark! We stand for peace, love, and FRUITOPIA!' he threw a handful of daisies at the guy, who squealed and ran into his bulldozer. He gave his friends the signal, and they all drove away. The class cheered, and tried to unchain themselves (all except for Ron, who seemed to be suffering strange side effects from the mints).
'Everybody dance now! Ba! Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba!' he screamed and tried to dance, but was still chained to the tree. Sirius looked at them all nervously.
'Man. okay, dudes? I will be back in a second. I have to go see the like, leader dude about how to untie you guys.' He said and ran off. The Slytherins snickered.
'Oh, for the love of-' Hermione brought out her wand and undid the lock on everyone's chains. Now Ron was able to dance.
-----
A/N: Hee hee! I hope y'all enjoyed that! *Stops being happy* NOW REVIEW ! ! ! AHHH ! ! !
Author's Note: Okay, for those of you who have never had Frisks. well let me just say that I was unfortunate enough in my childhood to stuff five in my mouth at the same time. heh.
-----
Chapter Six: Of Ron, the Frisky Mints, and Frutopian Air-Guitar
'Harry. Join us.' Neville/Bruce said.
'Yes. Join us.' Said Flitwick, as if he was a zombie. Harry tripped over something, but stood up as fast as he could and ran even faster down the halls. But the FAAs were catching up to him. Their eyes hollow, their cheeks round, and their arms outstretched.
Harry reached a winding staircase and started down it. And, from some room, someone was playing "Spin Me Right 'Round". After a moment, Harry realized that he was no longer being chased. He forced his chubby legs to walk all the ways back up the stairs. He heard a different song playing, screaming, and hair ties being caught on fire.
'That can only mean one thing!' he said. 'A feminist rally!' and ran into the Great Hall.
Actually, it wasn't a feminist rally, it was Hermione doing a live reading of "Hogwarts: A History". Ron had been burning his hat, and ~accidentally~ threw it at Lavender and Parvati. Their hairclips caught on fire, and they were running around, screaming, and hitting their heads, trying to put it out. The Brostellas were practising for there next concert, and their warm-up song was "Spin Me Right 'Round".
Harry fell to his knees. 'Madness! Madness I tells yeh!' he said, and started to cry.
'Dumbledore is _so_ old.' Draco was practising his comedy routine again, while yelling at Neville to get him a plate of burritos.
'Right away sir! And might I add, I am your greatest fan!' Neville squeaked and ran away to fetch Draco's food. He has got to stop hanging out with Dobby, Harry thought to himself.
Ron ran over to him. 'Harry! You gotta hide me! Parvati and Lavender are on fire, and they say it's my fault!' he said, while shaking Harry by the shoulders and breathing in his face. Harry pushed Ron away and gasped for air.
'You know what your problem is, Ron?' he asked. Ron shook his head. 'You have _bad breath_!' Harry said. He pulled some "Frisks" out of his pocket and gave five to Ron. 'Put these in your mouth, all at once. It will hurt, but it will be worth it!'
Ron thanked Harry and stuffed seven "Frisks" into his mouth, all the while thinking, "how bad can it be?"
A moment later, after seeing Ron's face seize up, Harry smirked. 'Go geddem!' he said, and pushed Ron back into the room. Lavender and Parvati approached Ron with looks that could curdle milk.
'Hello ladies.' Ron said, grinning despite his pain, 'you are looking -hot- today.' He cracked up. 'Get it?!' he said between laughs.
They both frowned, but Lavendar frowned more. 'Very funny, wise guy! You are forgetting that our hair is on fire!' she scolded. Ron, with his icy-fresh breath, blew out the fire. They thanked him and ran away.
Professor McGonagall ran into the room, and shoved Draco and his band off the stage-thing. Then she made Hermione move, and confiscated her "Hogwarts; A History".
'No! Please! Anything but that!' Hermione wailed. She tore off her Prefect badge. 'Take my duties! My homework! Anything but "Hogwarts; A History"!' She looked so pathetic, that McGonagall gave it back to her, and told her to go sit down at the Gyffindor table.
McGonagall looked around the room, and everyone quieted down. 'Students, I am shocked at your behaviour today. Before I am barraged with excuse-notes from your parents-' she paused for effect, 'I have an announcement. Professor Snape, is-' she cleared her throat, 'missing.' She let her words sink in. Everyone cheered, except for the Slytherins. Draco looked like he just swallowed a lemon.
'It is difficult to find a replacement on such a short notice, but luckily enough, we did. Quiet, now while I say this. His replacement is. Sirius Black.' There was a chorus of gasping heard throughout the Hall. 'Now off to your normal classes, and if there are any questions, _please_ stop coming to me! Dumbledore _is_ the headmaster, after all!'
Harry, Hermione, and Ron met at the door, and rushed down to the dungeons for their next class, ~dun dunn~ POTIONS. They had to stop every so often because Harry was having a hard time keeping up.
'You know,' he said while they were waiting for him, 'Potions is the only class we have had this week, so far.' He said.
'We are allll, happpyy childreennnn.' Ron sang to himself. 'Happpyyy and ooobeeeedieeeent.' he tried to do a 360 (they were standing on the stairs) and he knocked Hermione over. She fell over, and hit Neville, who fell over and hit Seamus, who fell over and his Dean, who fell over and hit Lavender, who fell over and hit Parvati, and so on, until everyone on the staircase had fallen over, except for Harry and Ron, who were at the top.
Ron smiled widely. 'Finally! They haaave soft stairs for my dellllicate feeet!' he said this like a gameshow host introducing the contestants. Then, he put his hands on his hips and ran over everyone. Harry, seeing as there was nothing else to do, followed him (ignoring the snaps of bones breaking underneath him).
There was a long boring sequence of events that led to the whole class arriving in the dungeon, and I am in no hurry to include it. But once they did get down there, they were greeted by Harry's Godfather.
Harry ran up to him, arms open for a hug. 'Seeryyy!!' he said. Sirius put his arms straight out in front of him to push Harry away.
'Whoooa, back off heavy dude. Don't get yourself breathing more air than you should.' He motioned for everyone to sit in a circle around him while looking at his peace-sign necklace.
'Okay, dudes and dudettes, today we are gonna like, learn about a groovy potion, I like to call, Fruitopia.' he told them. Everyone stared at him in disbelief while Ron played air guitar beside him. 'Way to go red-hair dude!' Sirius said, referring to Ron. 'Fight the power!'
Harry put up his hand. 'Sirius. Why are you dressed like that?' he asked. Sirius looked down at his bellbottoms, peace symbol necklace, long hair, and hippie shirt. 'Because I don't believe in barbershops, man. Can anyone, like, tell me what extra ingredient we are gonna put in the Fruitopia today?' he asked.
Dean put up his hand. 'Glucose fructose?' he asked. Sirius shook his head.
'Good try, though. Our secret ingredient is-' his necklace started to beep. He stood up fast. 'Its time! If you wanna be a groovy flowerchild, then follow me.' He said. Everyone followed him because they wanted to be groovy too. He led them outside toward the Forbidden Forest. He pointed to the east.
'See that dudes? Those bulldozers are gonna try and bulldoze down out beloved forest. Those ungroovy dudes are gonna get rid of it so that they can build a mega-mall.' Everyone gasped. He brought them up to the trees, and chained the Gryfindors onto some redwoods and maples. Then, he made the Slytherins (it was double Potions class) march up and down in front of the tree line.
When the bulldozers arrived they saw the spectacle, and one of the drivers got out of the truck. 'Whaddu you treehuggers think yehr doin', huh?' he asked angrily. 'We got orders to tear down them there trees, and you ain't gonna stop us! Peh!' he spat on the ground.
Sirius stepped forward bravely. 'Oh, yeah?' he asked. He turned around to Draco and Pansy who had somehow conjured up an acoustic guitar. 'Ready Draco?' he asked. Draco nodded and started to play a song.
'Uptown girl!' he said, and strummed, 'she's been living in her white bread world!' Pansy joined in, and soon the whole class was singing. The bulldozer man stepped back, eyeing everyone nervously.
'Shut up! Shut up! All of yehs!' he said frantically, backing away.
Sirius walked up closer to him. 'You can't defeat us Nark! We stand for peace, love, and FRUITOPIA!' he threw a handful of daisies at the guy, who squealed and ran into his bulldozer. He gave his friends the signal, and they all drove away. The class cheered, and tried to unchain themselves (all except for Ron, who seemed to be suffering strange side effects from the mints).
'Everybody dance now! Ba! Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba!' he screamed and tried to dance, but was still chained to the tree. Sirius looked at them all nervously.
'Man. okay, dudes? I will be back in a second. I have to go see the like, leader dude about how to untie you guys.' He said and ran off. The Slytherins snickered.
'Oh, for the love of-' Hermione brought out her wand and undid the lock on everyone's chains. Now Ron was able to dance.
-----
A/N: Hee hee! I hope y'all enjoyed that! *Stops being happy* NOW REVIEW ! ! ! AHHH ! ! !