This is my first. PLEASE review (make it good - or else)
--Hogwarts - Gryfindor common room-
--Ron is sitting in a corner looking upset--
Ron: I am upset
Harry: Well duh the author just told us
Ron: You had to be told!!!???
Harry: I just find it normal; you're always upset or angry with someone. Is it Neville's turn to get moaned at?
Ron: Nope, I changed my schedule - it's me.
Harry: ??? .. Oh well whats rong?
Ron: Your last sentence, but. I want to get fat
Harry: Why???
Ron: I've tried everything I must have eaten a hundred feasts this year but I haven't put on weight at all. I never exercise and all day I just moap about doing nothing. I think I'm going to go insane
Harry: Try 'Ask Hermione' - she knows everything
Ron: Where's a phone?
--Harry pulls a mobile phone out of his pocket and dials a number-
Ask Hermione: Hello, call charged at the national rate, calls may be recorded, how may 'Ask Hermione' help. If you have a broom stuck up your rear end because it looked so LONG and HARD press 1 (remember your call may be recorded) if the flu-
--Readers conjure up bad mental images--
--Snape rushes through the portrait of the fat lady and wearing a dress--
Snape: Harry, Dumbledore summoned me to bring you to him- he has some news which might change your life!
Ask Hermione: If you have a strange man standing in front of you who is wearing a dress and says he has news that might change your life, press 4 (calls may be recorded)
--Ron is about to press 4 when harry knocks the phone out of his hands-
Harry: I'll come with you, but only if you show me those SEXY LEGS again!!
Snape: Oh yeah come with me you HUNKY BOY!!
Ask Hermione: If your best friend has just walked away saying that a teacher is SEXY press 9 (calls may be recorded)
--Ron Does-
-- Outside Dumbledore's office -
Snape: Fruity tooty flavour short and fat bootlaces
--Readers conjure up more horrible mental images-
--The gargoyle splits in half and Harry and Snape go up tickling each other. Harry is told to wait outside-
--Dumbledore is also wearing a dress-
Snape: He's outside
Dumbledore: Hey - your make-up is smudged - you fell for him didn't you?!
Snape: It's so mean - yet so true.you know everything don't you?
Dumbledore: It's because I'm a magic man!!-Pervert
Snape: Oh thanks old guy
--Harry comes in and snape leaves-
Dumbledore: I have some news that may change your life
Harry: Stop with the 'change my life thing' and get on with it
Dumbledore; Well....
That's all for this chapter REVIEW THIS!!!
The end wasn't very funny, but more in the next chapter
--Hogwarts - Gryfindor common room-
--Ron is sitting in a corner looking upset--
Ron: I am upset
Harry: Well duh the author just told us
Ron: You had to be told!!!???
Harry: I just find it normal; you're always upset or angry with someone. Is it Neville's turn to get moaned at?
Ron: Nope, I changed my schedule - it's me.
Harry: ??? .. Oh well whats rong?
Ron: Your last sentence, but. I want to get fat
Harry: Why???
Ron: I've tried everything I must have eaten a hundred feasts this year but I haven't put on weight at all. I never exercise and all day I just moap about doing nothing. I think I'm going to go insane
Harry: Try 'Ask Hermione' - she knows everything
Ron: Where's a phone?
--Harry pulls a mobile phone out of his pocket and dials a number-
Ask Hermione: Hello, call charged at the national rate, calls may be recorded, how may 'Ask Hermione' help. If you have a broom stuck up your rear end because it looked so LONG and HARD press 1 (remember your call may be recorded) if the flu-
--Readers conjure up bad mental images--
--Snape rushes through the portrait of the fat lady and wearing a dress--
Snape: Harry, Dumbledore summoned me to bring you to him- he has some news which might change your life!
Ask Hermione: If you have a strange man standing in front of you who is wearing a dress and says he has news that might change your life, press 4 (calls may be recorded)
--Ron is about to press 4 when harry knocks the phone out of his hands-
Harry: I'll come with you, but only if you show me those SEXY LEGS again!!
Snape: Oh yeah come with me you HUNKY BOY!!
Ask Hermione: If your best friend has just walked away saying that a teacher is SEXY press 9 (calls may be recorded)
--Ron Does-
-- Outside Dumbledore's office -
Snape: Fruity tooty flavour short and fat bootlaces
--Readers conjure up more horrible mental images-
--The gargoyle splits in half and Harry and Snape go up tickling each other. Harry is told to wait outside-
--Dumbledore is also wearing a dress-
Snape: He's outside
Dumbledore: Hey - your make-up is smudged - you fell for him didn't you?!
Snape: It's so mean - yet so true.you know everything don't you?
Dumbledore: It's because I'm a magic man!!-Pervert
Snape: Oh thanks old guy
--Harry comes in and snape leaves-
Dumbledore: I have some news that may change your life
Harry: Stop with the 'change my life thing' and get on with it
Dumbledore; Well....
That's all for this chapter REVIEW THIS!!!
The end wasn't very funny, but more in the next chapter