SNAPERIFFIC!
Author's Note: Chapter Ten! WOW. *faints*
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Chapter Ten: The Figurative Birth of Ronaldoicci
Gilderoy and Snape were in the class (wearing togas, of course) and Gilderoy was handing out fliers and putting them on the cauldrons.
'Settle down class! Settle down!" Snape said, even though they were already quiet. 'Today, for a fun change, we will be learning the talent potion! I saw it on a girls' sitcom once!' Snape proceeded to give the class _cheerful_ instructions on how to make talent. He said the three most popular ones were acting (which needed a phoenix tear), singing (unicorn tear), and athletics (dragon flame). Since it was double potions (when is it not?) the Slytherins were there too.
'I don't need this class!' Draco bragged. 'I can sing, I am going to star in a new movie, 8 Kilometre, and I am a star athlete!'
Gilderoy smiled. 'You remind me of me when I was your age!' he said fondly.
Draco sat up. 'Good garsh no!' he screamed.
'Quiet over there!' Snape snapped, momentarily forgetting that he was trying to impress Gilderoy with his teaching skills.
The students gathered their ingredients, and Snape gave them their assignment. 'With a partner, you are to make the potion of your choice, granted the potion has to be something you don't have. Your partner will give proof of that in the report, due next week.'
Hermione and Ron paired up, leaving Harry to be with Neville, who had a severe rash on his face.
'The skin keeps peeling.' Neville whined, scratching his face. Harry shuddered and tried to ignore it.
'Oh, Draco! We are going to fail now, because you are TOO TALENTED!' Lita yelled, because she was Draco's partner and kept kissing up to him.
Draco sighed. 'It seems even this blessing has a curse.' He tried to look sad. 'But we can just make two potions for you, since you don't have any talent!' he said happily.
Lita's eye twitched. 'O-of course.'
'So, Ron, what talent do you think you need the most?' Hermione asked. Ron grinned, flexing his muscles.
'Definitely not athletic! If anything, I am too in shape!' he said, and Hermione rolled her eyes.
'How about singing? Acting?'
'Tigger o! Tigger o! Tiiigeroooh!' Ron sang, getting the words wrong, because he had been thinking about Winnie the Pooh.
'Hmm, not bad.' Hermione lied. 'Okay, can you act?' Hermione tried not to laugh as Ron dressed himself up as Rupert Grint and began to act as Ron Weasley in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets at the part where they see the spiders.
'Well, I guess you want singing talent then?' Hermione asked. Ron shrugged.
'Sure.'
'I'll take athletics.' Hermione said. Then she made the potion, and poured it into two cups. In a similar manner as she used with the Polyjuice potion, she put the individual ingredients into the two cups.
'Bottoms up.' Ron said, and when Hermione wasn't looking, he stuck a few mints into his drink to make it taste better. What he didn't know was that mints actually magnify the power of the potion by fifty!
He drank it and felt his vocal cords shifting, which was a rather odd feeling. He also felt his appearance being changed and his brain getting smarter (since there was no more room left to improve his voice, it had to improve his appearance and intelligence). Hermione had a bit more muscle and seemed a bit healthier, but she didn't even notice because she was staring at Ron.
Ron thought that if it went on any longer, he would be sick, but luckily the potion finally stopped and the transformation was complete. He sighed. 'That was painful.' His voice was different. It was more masculine, but had a sort of ring to it. He tried it again. 'Sea shells she sells by the she sore.' he said, and it seemed that the whole room went quiet to listen to him (and for the girls to look at him). He didn't know what to do.
Harry poked him with his elbow. 'Sing something!' he said. Ron blushed as he looked at all the people staring at him. Lita was starting to move away from Draco thinking to herself that he was finished and the Redhead would be the next big thing.
So, Ron, being a big fan of the Beegees sang the first song that came to his mind.
'Oooh! You can dance! You can jive! Having the time of your life! Ooh! See that girl! Watch that scene! Dig in the DANCING QUEEN!' Little did he know, even with his increased intelligence, that the Beegees didn't ever do that song. It was ABBA. Anyway! He was suddenly wearing disco clothes with the frilly things on the sleeves. The girls screamed and screamed in hysterics at his wonderful voice and minty breath.
'Friday night and the lights are low! Looking out for a place to go! Where they play the right music, getting in the swing, you're in the mood for a king.'
Neville, who had taken the athletic potion, and had sneezed in it (turning it into a mega singing potion) joined in. 'Anybody could be that guy! Night is young and the music's high!' But Lita beat him up and Ron stopped singing because he wanted to try another song.
'He met Marmalade down in old New Orleans! Struttin her stuff on the street!' this song received even more cheers and screaming. Before he knew what was happening, Snape had bodysurfed over the crowd up to Ron to get an autograph.
'Sign it to. Sevvy, my. uh. cousin. okay, it's me! Sign it to me!' Snape said. Ron laughed and all the girls screamed again.
Snape read the autograph out loud to himself. 'To Snape. Your class stinkz. -Ronaldoicci. wow!'
Hermione laughed harshly. 'Ronaldoicci?' (for those of you who are completely clueless how as to pronounce made-up names I think it is made up it is: Roe-nahl-doe-Eech-ee)
Draco was going crazy. 'Hello?! Teen-rock sensation! OVER HERE! DRACO MALFOY!! Come on!' he said, and started to sob. Harry waddled over to him and patted him on the back.
'There there. they did it to me too. I used to be famous for nothing, and now look at me!' Harry said. Draco knocked Harry out and ran away.
'If I don't do something soon, then I will end up like that!' he said to himself. He ran for a while, and then an idea came to him. He ran to where Ron was performing, on stage in the Great Hall. Once Ron was done, Draco approached him.
'Hey, Ron-'
Ron put up his hand. 'That's Mister Ronaldoicci to you!'
Draco grimaced. 'Okay, sorry Mister Ronaldoicci! I was wondering. you know what would be great for your career? We could do a solo, together!'
Ron sneered a Draco-like sneer. 'You mean, a duet? I dunno, you are kinda yesterdays news.' he took a bite out of a taco.
'Oh, no! He is at the TACO stage already! I never even got past the burrito stage!' Draco thought to himself, frantically. 'Must do something fast!'
'Of course, sorry. As for me being yesterday's news, I think you mean that the Brostellas are yesterday's news! I was going to announce my going solo tonight, but I thought it might hit the crowd better if I did a so- er, duet with you and then announced it! Imagine how the crowds will react to this schools two best voices! It will be Woodstock all over again!' Draco was loosing it, but Ron was intrigued.
'Sure.' He said, and they started to write a song at top speed.
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A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!! RONALDOICCI COMPELLS YOU!!!
Author's Note: Chapter Ten! WOW. *faints*
------------------
Chapter Ten: The Figurative Birth of Ronaldoicci
Gilderoy and Snape were in the class (wearing togas, of course) and Gilderoy was handing out fliers and putting them on the cauldrons.
'Settle down class! Settle down!" Snape said, even though they were already quiet. 'Today, for a fun change, we will be learning the talent potion! I saw it on a girls' sitcom once!' Snape proceeded to give the class _cheerful_ instructions on how to make talent. He said the three most popular ones were acting (which needed a phoenix tear), singing (unicorn tear), and athletics (dragon flame). Since it was double potions (when is it not?) the Slytherins were there too.
'I don't need this class!' Draco bragged. 'I can sing, I am going to star in a new movie, 8 Kilometre, and I am a star athlete!'
Gilderoy smiled. 'You remind me of me when I was your age!' he said fondly.
Draco sat up. 'Good garsh no!' he screamed.
'Quiet over there!' Snape snapped, momentarily forgetting that he was trying to impress Gilderoy with his teaching skills.
The students gathered their ingredients, and Snape gave them their assignment. 'With a partner, you are to make the potion of your choice, granted the potion has to be something you don't have. Your partner will give proof of that in the report, due next week.'
Hermione and Ron paired up, leaving Harry to be with Neville, who had a severe rash on his face.
'The skin keeps peeling.' Neville whined, scratching his face. Harry shuddered and tried to ignore it.
'Oh, Draco! We are going to fail now, because you are TOO TALENTED!' Lita yelled, because she was Draco's partner and kept kissing up to him.
Draco sighed. 'It seems even this blessing has a curse.' He tried to look sad. 'But we can just make two potions for you, since you don't have any talent!' he said happily.
Lita's eye twitched. 'O-of course.'
'So, Ron, what talent do you think you need the most?' Hermione asked. Ron grinned, flexing his muscles.
'Definitely not athletic! If anything, I am too in shape!' he said, and Hermione rolled her eyes.
'How about singing? Acting?'
'Tigger o! Tigger o! Tiiigeroooh!' Ron sang, getting the words wrong, because he had been thinking about Winnie the Pooh.
'Hmm, not bad.' Hermione lied. 'Okay, can you act?' Hermione tried not to laugh as Ron dressed himself up as Rupert Grint and began to act as Ron Weasley in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets at the part where they see the spiders.
'Well, I guess you want singing talent then?' Hermione asked. Ron shrugged.
'Sure.'
'I'll take athletics.' Hermione said. Then she made the potion, and poured it into two cups. In a similar manner as she used with the Polyjuice potion, she put the individual ingredients into the two cups.
'Bottoms up.' Ron said, and when Hermione wasn't looking, he stuck a few mints into his drink to make it taste better. What he didn't know was that mints actually magnify the power of the potion by fifty!
He drank it and felt his vocal cords shifting, which was a rather odd feeling. He also felt his appearance being changed and his brain getting smarter (since there was no more room left to improve his voice, it had to improve his appearance and intelligence). Hermione had a bit more muscle and seemed a bit healthier, but she didn't even notice because she was staring at Ron.
Ron thought that if it went on any longer, he would be sick, but luckily the potion finally stopped and the transformation was complete. He sighed. 'That was painful.' His voice was different. It was more masculine, but had a sort of ring to it. He tried it again. 'Sea shells she sells by the she sore.' he said, and it seemed that the whole room went quiet to listen to him (and for the girls to look at him). He didn't know what to do.
Harry poked him with his elbow. 'Sing something!' he said. Ron blushed as he looked at all the people staring at him. Lita was starting to move away from Draco thinking to herself that he was finished and the Redhead would be the next big thing.
So, Ron, being a big fan of the Beegees sang the first song that came to his mind.
'Oooh! You can dance! You can jive! Having the time of your life! Ooh! See that girl! Watch that scene! Dig in the DANCING QUEEN!' Little did he know, even with his increased intelligence, that the Beegees didn't ever do that song. It was ABBA. Anyway! He was suddenly wearing disco clothes with the frilly things on the sleeves. The girls screamed and screamed in hysterics at his wonderful voice and minty breath.
'Friday night and the lights are low! Looking out for a place to go! Where they play the right music, getting in the swing, you're in the mood for a king.'
Neville, who had taken the athletic potion, and had sneezed in it (turning it into a mega singing potion) joined in. 'Anybody could be that guy! Night is young and the music's high!' But Lita beat him up and Ron stopped singing because he wanted to try another song.
'He met Marmalade down in old New Orleans! Struttin her stuff on the street!' this song received even more cheers and screaming. Before he knew what was happening, Snape had bodysurfed over the crowd up to Ron to get an autograph.
'Sign it to. Sevvy, my. uh. cousin. okay, it's me! Sign it to me!' Snape said. Ron laughed and all the girls screamed again.
Snape read the autograph out loud to himself. 'To Snape. Your class stinkz. -Ronaldoicci. wow!'
Hermione laughed harshly. 'Ronaldoicci?' (for those of you who are completely clueless how as to pronounce made-up names I think it is made up it is: Roe-nahl-doe-Eech-ee)
Draco was going crazy. 'Hello?! Teen-rock sensation! OVER HERE! DRACO MALFOY!! Come on!' he said, and started to sob. Harry waddled over to him and patted him on the back.
'There there. they did it to me too. I used to be famous for nothing, and now look at me!' Harry said. Draco knocked Harry out and ran away.
'If I don't do something soon, then I will end up like that!' he said to himself. He ran for a while, and then an idea came to him. He ran to where Ron was performing, on stage in the Great Hall. Once Ron was done, Draco approached him.
'Hey, Ron-'
Ron put up his hand. 'That's Mister Ronaldoicci to you!'
Draco grimaced. 'Okay, sorry Mister Ronaldoicci! I was wondering. you know what would be great for your career? We could do a solo, together!'
Ron sneered a Draco-like sneer. 'You mean, a duet? I dunno, you are kinda yesterdays news.' he took a bite out of a taco.
'Oh, no! He is at the TACO stage already! I never even got past the burrito stage!' Draco thought to himself, frantically. 'Must do something fast!'
'Of course, sorry. As for me being yesterday's news, I think you mean that the Brostellas are yesterday's news! I was going to announce my going solo tonight, but I thought it might hit the crowd better if I did a so- er, duet with you and then announced it! Imagine how the crowds will react to this schools two best voices! It will be Woodstock all over again!' Draco was loosing it, but Ron was intrigued.
'Sure.' He said, and they started to write a song at top speed.
-------
A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!! RONALDOICCI COMPELLS YOU!!!