"Do you still love me?" I asked
"Of course. What kind of question is that? Of course I love you. You are the love of my life" He said.
"Even though...I was raped ... are you going to look at me differently?"
"What do you mean?"
"Are you going to look at me with pity or stay with me cuz you feel sorry for me?"
" I would stay with you cuz I love you sweetie"
"Do you still want me?" I said crying.
"Each day more and more. I love you so much. No matter what happens I will always love you and want you Stacy"
I held out my hands to him and he took them. We just held eachother crying and thanking God for letting us be together. Jeff, Matt, and my dad came in and I hugged them too.
~~~~~~A week later~~~~~~~
I still traveled with the guys. Everyone thought I should go home with dad, but I couldn't live without my rocks, Matt and Jeff, and without my man Spike. They also wanted me to go to a therapist. I think you can guess how that turned out.
"Stacy, you need to go to a theist. You've been through a lot" Matt said.
"Dammit Matt! I don't need to see a freakin therapist. I am sick to death of them. If I wanted to see one I would have asked."I yelled.
"Don't raise your voice at me Stacy!" Matt yelled.
"Forget you!!!!!!" I screamed as I ran to the parking lot of the arena.
I sat on an equipment box in the parking lot. Spike came and sat next to me.
"What's the matter sweetie?"
"Why won't everyone leave me alone? They all want me to go see a therapist, but I told them I don't want to. Why wouldn't they give up?"
"They are worried about you Stacy, that's all. Ever since you were in the hospital, you haven't been the same."
" I can't help it Spike. A man I once loved kidnapped me, rapped me, beat me, and I killed him. Do you have any idea what that is like?"
" No I don't, but that's the reason they want you to go, so you can talk about it and get some sort of closure"
"Do we have to talk about this?"
"No sweetheart, we don't"
"Thanks for being so understanding"
We kissed. It was long and full of love and passion.
"So...Do you know anyone who would want to go valet for me?"
"I know of one and she really loves you a lot"
"Oh yea? Who's that?"
"Torrie Willson"
"I'd rather have a girl named Stacy Hardy"
"Oh you would?"
"Yea, so let's go.
We laughed and he took my hand. We ran to the curtain and waited for him music. We got out there and the crowd cheered their head off. We waited for his opponent. STAND BACK! THERE'S A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH! Then Shane, an old friend of the family, came out and Spike and him wrestled. When we were done we went to his locker room. He went to go take a shower. I sat there thinking, I don't know for how long, maybe a couple of minutes, but all of a sudden, my heart started pounding. It felt like my heart was going to explode. My chest was tight, I had trouble breathing, and my hands were shaking. Spike came out all dressed, he saw me and knew something was wrong. He ran to me and was asking me something, but I couldn't hear him. He ran to the door and looked down the hall. There was Amy and Shannon. He yelled for them to go get a trainer, Matt, and Jeff. He came over by me as everyone rushed in my room and surrounded me.
"PLEASE GET AWAY! YOU'RE SMOTHERING ME!" I coughed out.
Everyone back up.
"What's wrong with her?" Spike asked the trainer.
"I have to check her out to find out." he said
"Wait, I think I know what's wrong." Jeff said
"What is it Jeff?" Matt asked
"Didn't the doctor at the ER mention some sort of....disorder or something like that?" Jeff said
"Oh yea...um...panic...um..oh what's the name" Matt said
"Panic attacks?" The trainer suggested
"Yes, that's it" Spike said.
"If that case then, This is what I can tell you about it. People with panic disorder frequently develop agoraphobia, a fear of being in places or situations from which escape might be difficult if a panic attack occurs. People with agoraphobia typically fear situations such as traveling in a bus, car, or airplane, shopping at malls, going to theaters, or like being here in an arena or being alone in unfamiliar places. addition, people with panic disorder appear to have an increased risk of alcoholism and drug dependence. Some studies indicate they also have a higher risk of depression and suicide. Mental health professionals usually treat panic disorder with medications, specialized psychotherapy, or a combination of both. Benzodiazepines, a group of tranquilizing drugs that includes Xanax and Valium, often reduce anxiety with few physical side effects. However, these medications can be addictive and may impair movement and concentration in some people. Some antidepressant drugs, such as Tofranil, also reduce panic symptoms in some people but can produce side effects such as dizziness or dry mouth. For many patients, however, panic attacks return when they stop taking the medication. In this method, therapists help patients re-create the physical symptoms of a panic attack, teach them coping skills, and help them to alter their beliefs about the danger of these sensations. Does that help any?"
"Yes, it does. Thanks" Jeff said
"Now panic attacks can last few seconds to several hours. So take her outside and let the panic attack die down."
"Thanks for everything. You've been helpful" Jeff said.
The trainer left and spike picked her up and took her outside. Jeff and Matt stayed there and talked. After about 10 minutes more the panic attack slowly died out. I felt better.
"Are you OK sweetie?"
"I fell a lot better. What happened?"
"You were having a panic attack"
"Oh...Can we go back inside?"
"you sure you want to?"
"Yes, please with sugar on it?" I said as I pouted.
He smile and gave me a kiss. He got up and helped me up. We walked back inside and ran into my brothers. I gave them a hug and told them I was fine.
"Some one wants to talk to you" Jeff said
"Who?"
"Just go into our locker room and see." Jeff said
I gave Spike a kiss good-bye and went into their locker room. There was Laura sitting on the couch. She came up and hugged me.
"I hear you wanted to talk to me"
"Yea...um...I wanted to talk to you about going to see a therapist. I know you don't want to, but after everything you been through, you need to see one and let everything out or it will eat you alive."
"Did Jeff and Matt put you up to this?"
"They are just worried about you. They think maybe you would change your mind if a woman like me talks to you?
"This is crap. I am not going to a freakin therapist."
"Stop being so darn stubborn! They apparently think you need help so go and get it. If you weren't so screwed up in the head they would leave you alone! So quit being the drama queen and go!"
"Bitch!" I said as I slapped her as hard as I could.
I then ran out of there and went into the parking lot. I spend a lot of time there cuz it's quiet and peaceful. Meanwhile...Jeff and Matt came back in and Laura told them that I slapped her. They were mad as hornets. They went around the whole arena to talk to me. Let's rephrase that. To Yell at me. They finally found me and Jeff grabbed my arm real hard and made me look at him.
"What the hell is your problem? Huh? Why did you slap Laura? She was only trying to help you." Jeff yelled.
"You know what you are so one sided" I screamed
"You had no right what so ever to hit her" Matt yelled.
"YES I DID"
"What was your right for hitting her?" Jeff yelled
"Did she even tell you what she said to me? HUH? DID SHE?" I raised my voice
"No she didn't. All i know is you hit my girlfriend." Jeff said.
"And all I know is she deserved it for telling me that you guys think I need help and if I weren't so screwed up in the head you would leave me alone! Also to quit being the drama queen and go to theripy. So I slapped the bitch and frankly I don't give a shit wether you like it or not." I said as I got into a cab and left.
"Of course. What kind of question is that? Of course I love you. You are the love of my life" He said.
"Even though...I was raped ... are you going to look at me differently?"
"What do you mean?"
"Are you going to look at me with pity or stay with me cuz you feel sorry for me?"
" I would stay with you cuz I love you sweetie"
"Do you still want me?" I said crying.
"Each day more and more. I love you so much. No matter what happens I will always love you and want you Stacy"
I held out my hands to him and he took them. We just held eachother crying and thanking God for letting us be together. Jeff, Matt, and my dad came in and I hugged them too.
~~~~~~A week later~~~~~~~
I still traveled with the guys. Everyone thought I should go home with dad, but I couldn't live without my rocks, Matt and Jeff, and without my man Spike. They also wanted me to go to a therapist. I think you can guess how that turned out.
"Stacy, you need to go to a theist. You've been through a lot" Matt said.
"Dammit Matt! I don't need to see a freakin therapist. I am sick to death of them. If I wanted to see one I would have asked."I yelled.
"Don't raise your voice at me Stacy!" Matt yelled.
"Forget you!!!!!!" I screamed as I ran to the parking lot of the arena.
I sat on an equipment box in the parking lot. Spike came and sat next to me.
"What's the matter sweetie?"
"Why won't everyone leave me alone? They all want me to go see a therapist, but I told them I don't want to. Why wouldn't they give up?"
"They are worried about you Stacy, that's all. Ever since you were in the hospital, you haven't been the same."
" I can't help it Spike. A man I once loved kidnapped me, rapped me, beat me, and I killed him. Do you have any idea what that is like?"
" No I don't, but that's the reason they want you to go, so you can talk about it and get some sort of closure"
"Do we have to talk about this?"
"No sweetheart, we don't"
"Thanks for being so understanding"
We kissed. It was long and full of love and passion.
"So...Do you know anyone who would want to go valet for me?"
"I know of one and she really loves you a lot"
"Oh yea? Who's that?"
"Torrie Willson"
"I'd rather have a girl named Stacy Hardy"
"Oh you would?"
"Yea, so let's go.
We laughed and he took my hand. We ran to the curtain and waited for him music. We got out there and the crowd cheered their head off. We waited for his opponent. STAND BACK! THERE'S A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH! Then Shane, an old friend of the family, came out and Spike and him wrestled. When we were done we went to his locker room. He went to go take a shower. I sat there thinking, I don't know for how long, maybe a couple of minutes, but all of a sudden, my heart started pounding. It felt like my heart was going to explode. My chest was tight, I had trouble breathing, and my hands were shaking. Spike came out all dressed, he saw me and knew something was wrong. He ran to me and was asking me something, but I couldn't hear him. He ran to the door and looked down the hall. There was Amy and Shannon. He yelled for them to go get a trainer, Matt, and Jeff. He came over by me as everyone rushed in my room and surrounded me.
"PLEASE GET AWAY! YOU'RE SMOTHERING ME!" I coughed out.
Everyone back up.
"What's wrong with her?" Spike asked the trainer.
"I have to check her out to find out." he said
"Wait, I think I know what's wrong." Jeff said
"What is it Jeff?" Matt asked
"Didn't the doctor at the ER mention some sort of....disorder or something like that?" Jeff said
"Oh yea...um...panic...um..oh what's the name" Matt said
"Panic attacks?" The trainer suggested
"Yes, that's it" Spike said.
"If that case then, This is what I can tell you about it. People with panic disorder frequently develop agoraphobia, a fear of being in places or situations from which escape might be difficult if a panic attack occurs. People with agoraphobia typically fear situations such as traveling in a bus, car, or airplane, shopping at malls, going to theaters, or like being here in an arena or being alone in unfamiliar places. addition, people with panic disorder appear to have an increased risk of alcoholism and drug dependence. Some studies indicate they also have a higher risk of depression and suicide. Mental health professionals usually treat panic disorder with medications, specialized psychotherapy, or a combination of both. Benzodiazepines, a group of tranquilizing drugs that includes Xanax and Valium, often reduce anxiety with few physical side effects. However, these medications can be addictive and may impair movement and concentration in some people. Some antidepressant drugs, such as Tofranil, also reduce panic symptoms in some people but can produce side effects such as dizziness or dry mouth. For many patients, however, panic attacks return when they stop taking the medication. In this method, therapists help patients re-create the physical symptoms of a panic attack, teach them coping skills, and help them to alter their beliefs about the danger of these sensations. Does that help any?"
"Yes, it does. Thanks" Jeff said
"Now panic attacks can last few seconds to several hours. So take her outside and let the panic attack die down."
"Thanks for everything. You've been helpful" Jeff said.
The trainer left and spike picked her up and took her outside. Jeff and Matt stayed there and talked. After about 10 minutes more the panic attack slowly died out. I felt better.
"Are you OK sweetie?"
"I fell a lot better. What happened?"
"You were having a panic attack"
"Oh...Can we go back inside?"
"you sure you want to?"
"Yes, please with sugar on it?" I said as I pouted.
He smile and gave me a kiss. He got up and helped me up. We walked back inside and ran into my brothers. I gave them a hug and told them I was fine.
"Some one wants to talk to you" Jeff said
"Who?"
"Just go into our locker room and see." Jeff said
I gave Spike a kiss good-bye and went into their locker room. There was Laura sitting on the couch. She came up and hugged me.
"I hear you wanted to talk to me"
"Yea...um...I wanted to talk to you about going to see a therapist. I know you don't want to, but after everything you been through, you need to see one and let everything out or it will eat you alive."
"Did Jeff and Matt put you up to this?"
"They are just worried about you. They think maybe you would change your mind if a woman like me talks to you?
"This is crap. I am not going to a freakin therapist."
"Stop being so darn stubborn! They apparently think you need help so go and get it. If you weren't so screwed up in the head they would leave you alone! So quit being the drama queen and go!"
"Bitch!" I said as I slapped her as hard as I could.
I then ran out of there and went into the parking lot. I spend a lot of time there cuz it's quiet and peaceful. Meanwhile...Jeff and Matt came back in and Laura told them that I slapped her. They were mad as hornets. They went around the whole arena to talk to me. Let's rephrase that. To Yell at me. They finally found me and Jeff grabbed my arm real hard and made me look at him.
"What the hell is your problem? Huh? Why did you slap Laura? She was only trying to help you." Jeff yelled.
"You know what you are so one sided" I screamed
"You had no right what so ever to hit her" Matt yelled.
"YES I DID"
"What was your right for hitting her?" Jeff yelled
"Did she even tell you what she said to me? HUH? DID SHE?" I raised my voice
"No she didn't. All i know is you hit my girlfriend." Jeff said.
"And all I know is she deserved it for telling me that you guys think I need help and if I weren't so screwed up in the head you would leave me alone! Also to quit being the drama queen and go to theripy. So I slapped the bitch and frankly I don't give a shit wether you like it or not." I said as I got into a cab and left.